Why?

[STEVIE]

This is a "follow on" from the "how many" thread.
A question, why exactly did you decide to visit the cafe?
My own case was simple, sort of. I had struggled with the "skirt" issue for many years. Luckily, I fell in with a good crowd, namely,
"Skirt Cafe". I first came in about a year or so ago, in the midst of much turmoil in my life. What I found was real thought, some criticism and frequent support.
I have progressed, in that time from being "closeted" to comfortable with myself and my choices. I will not declare the huge successes that some other new members have asserted but that's me.
I never could have foreseen then, the "Stirling" event, that was a milestone. Without that, the final counselling sessions and last Sunday's outing may never have happened .
I still feel that I have a journey to continue, skirted when I can and comfortable with it. The rest is a compromise.
Steve.

[janrok]

I came to visit Skirtcafe mainly because the Dutch forum has changed last year in a forum for transvestites, transsexuals and other crossdressers.
Allmost every topic about men skirts within a few postings changes into a genderbender discussion. The moderator is very indecisive about taking measures against these what I would call "forumpolluters". Our site is still called ROKVOORMANNEN meaning SKIRTSFORMEN and for crossdressers there is the Off Topic section but they ignore the rules and behave like dictators.

The latest development is that there is a member who tries to talk us skirtwearers out of our skirts and kilts because he is convinced it will harm our careers, social life and we are in for psychological problems.
I have been wearing skirts and kilts for some 38 years now and I still don't need Prozac.
Simple basic skirtwearers (like me) form a minority and many have left the forum allready.

So now you all will have to cope with my boring input.....

[MrUtopia]

I came here on the rebound in self discovery from Crossdressing forums. I have been wanting to take my wishes out of the closet, but to do that, I need to understand my own wishes. I joined some CD forums, tried more fully CDing, went out with a CD social group and tried a makeup makeover. What I discovered or confirmed is that I do not want to look like or transition into a woman. I am very happy being a man, but I do like to wear skirted garments. I would like, as a man, to have the option to wear skirted clothing including skirts and some dress-like items. I found this and other 'skirts for men' forums and groups. I have focused more on the idea of 'skirts for men' and have even found acceptance within my family of this fashion option. I think I have found where I am most happy. Now we just need to find more acceptance in general society for our choices.

[skirtingtoday]

I think for me it was my son who (inadverteantly) resurrected the subject with me (around 3 years ago). In the past I very occasionally, and very, very closeted, wore my younger sisters mini-skirts and tights in the house when no-one was in but it never developed into anything more serious. Anyway, he was at University and had a fancy dress ball to go to (LGBT theme) and dressed up in a black leather miniskirt and leopard print, short-sleeved ladies top. One girl he knew put on his makeup, gloss etc and he even posted some pics on Facebook! He did the same the following year with pink tights and a sequin covered miniskirt.

I did begin to wonder whether this was just fun or more serious so looked into it. Thankfully I found that it was just fun but I started thinking about a mini-skirt for myself (never really considered full length skirts as I am reasonably slim) and I already had a full 8-yard kilt which I had bought some 4-5 years before this. BTW, I never considered a kilt as a skirt but a natural and acceptable form of clothing for men (I am Scottish as well which helped).

I also found some CD sites but never stayed too long - just wasn't what I was looking for. I wish only be a man with a skirt - that's it - and to be accepted.

I found this site and another similar one over two years ago but one of the people on the other site was most discourteous, rude and decidedly unfriendly so I no longer look in on it and it tempered my registering for this site for quite some time. I still wore my skirts on occasions but only in the summer. Through this site, I have become more confident in the skirt-wearing and now regularly wear skirts and tights in winter so I wish to add my general thanks to you all for the positive vibes evident throughout the site.

[MFrog]

Words and meanings well worth to think about.
I fell it is very important to keep this forum 'clean'. In several aspects.
I had the same thoughts when I tried a skirt on for the first time, and when I tried a dress (actually, it was a wedding-govn) which I found to be quite nice and comfortable. I did hook on to the skirt-part mostly. I, too, don't want to be a woman, or a transvestite or a crossdresser (This thing is strange to me, men are crossdressers but not women, men can be transvestites or..., or..., you know what I mean. Well, this subject is worn out and yada, yada. )
I would like to be able to choose and wear whatever clothing I like, and be accepted.
I'll do my best to support this forum the best way I can.
Hwo knows, maybe some of us see each other on vacations or the like?
I'll also try to start my lifejourny, skirted...

[skirtingtoday]

Same here MFrog - I am not a cross-dresser either! (and like you wonder why it is only men labelled as such, despite considerable evidence on clothing worn by the other sex). I just prefer the option, sometimes, of wearing a skirt which for me is from just above knee length to mini-skirt.

I have noted above, that my son had gone to various events at University dressed in a leather miniskirt or a sequined one and seemed to have a good time. I wondered about trying it, and looked on the Internet and came across a couple of sites, and joined one (ignored the CD ones), got a skirt from e-bay and just did it - heart racing the first time I can tell you.

Found this site and "lurked" on the fringes for a couple of years. From another site (not a skirted one), I came across another skirted fellow, where he suggested that it was OK here to join. So I did.

Realised that by delaying joining, I missed the Scottish skirted meeting (sigh ) and hope there is a re-run sometime where I could see others "in the wild"

[Stu]

I used to think the whole idea of men wearing skirts was a silly idea. Trousers were obviously more comfortable and skirts were garments women wore when they wanted to be dressed up and to exhibit their femininity. However, I was vaguely curious about the idea and I kept coming back to Tom´s Cafe. Eventually I was persuaded to try one myself and discovered I had been right all along - they were restrictive and uncomfortable and i resolved not to wear one again - these "men in skirts" must be mad! However, after a further period, I tried a sarong while on holiday, and then i was hooked. I found sarongs to be extremely pleasant garments to wear and very practical, especially when the weather is warm, but not so good when it´s cold. Some time after that, I discovered I could enjoy some of the benefits of sarongs with denim skirts.

I still like trousers - they have many advantages over any skirt-type garment in terms of being warm and practical, and correctly fitting look good and masculine, so i wear trousers 80-90%% of the time, which is probably why women wear them so much. But I do like sarongs in summer, and a denim skirt makes a pleasant change from trousers and shorts as "leisure wear" and should certainly be an option for the wardrobes of the male half of the population.

Stu

[azhiker]

Stu,

I have to disagree with you here. I am hopefully heading back into the workplace (have been working home as self employed for quite a while) and I went to try on some slacks and let me tell you there is a big difference in comfort from pants and skirts. I went there in my kilt and i could not wait to get out of the pants and back into my kilt. I hope one day i can wear kilts to work and or mens skirts.

[Stu]

azhiker

That's fine. We are all a bit different with our perceptions and desires when it comes to skirts - just as women are - that is to be expected.

Some chaps on here actively dislike trousers and wear them under suffrance - they can't wait to get them off and to get into a kilt or skirt. I'm not like that. I like trousers as my default garment and skirts at certain times only - and I very much like to have the option at those times. The fact that we do have a diversity of preferences shows that we are a balanced and mature group rather than a limited and fixated fringe, and that reflects well on us.

Stu

[Since1982]

I'm with you Janrok...I'm old fashioned I guess. I still don't believe in Man to man or woman to woman bedroom interactions. If the world turns completely to same sex marriages, who makes the babies??? No one...? End of life as we know it is over. What a world if all babies come out of test tubes. No Mommies or Daddys. Sad...as it says below, my opinion. No one needs to agree.

[Kirbstone]

Watching a locally produced Pantomime just before Christmas where the dialogue was riddled with locally pertinent jokes and adult innuendo, the leading 'Man', played by a young leggy lass was doing the courting scene with 'Red Riding Hood', who was played by a real girl of course, when a loud heckling cry went up from behind us in the auditorium.....'It wouldn't work!!!', which drew quite a laugh from the rest of us.

So much for same sex 'unions'.

Tom K.

[STEVIE]

Hi All,
we seem to have departed again only this is more serious.
On what basis can anyone who posts on this forum condemn the "rights" of another "minority"?
Gay Marriage, a question, how many of you actually and really know anyone, male or female in a same sex marriage or civil partnership as we call it in the U.K.?
There will never be a situation where the human population is threatened, think where we are in total figures right now!
Hate to say this, I may not be gay but I found some of these comments only worthy of the "Daily Mail" and that is not worth a DAMN!!
Steve.

[pleated]

I'm with you Janrok...I'm old fashioned I guess. I still don't believe in Man to man or woman to woman bedroom interactions. If the world turns completely to same sex marriages, who makes the babies??? No one...? End of life as we know it is over. What a world if all babies come out of test tubes. No Mommies or Daddys. Sad...as it says below, my opinion. No one needs to agree.

I'm not sure what you are responding to. I don't see any reference to same sex marriages in Janrok's comment.

[crfriend]

That age-old question of "Why?" has beggared the imagination of some of the most powerful thinkers of all time -- the ancient philosophers -- and still does today; else philosophy would be a dead art.

However, in this limited case, we can take stabs -- and fairly accurate ones at that -- here. "Why skirts?", especially when it comes to the overt defiance of a large dose of societal and cultural baggage.

If the reader will allow me to take things out-of-order temporally, I believe I shall start here with an article on the "Beeb" about the modern uniform. (Happy 80th, World Service. Without you we'd all be poorer.)

I have detested the western notion of men's fashion from when I was in single digits, and the BBC article above hints at some of the reasons why. First and foremost, I abhor the notion of the "lowest common denominator" which "jeans" have become; they are no longer the province of the folk who actually make their living the honest way -- they work for it -- they've become some inane form of anti-status-symbol. A billionaire wearing jeans? A world leader? WTF? The function of the garment has been lost -- if it ever really had one.

Denim, that ubiquitous modern uniform material, is neither hardy, long-lasting, resistant to wear, particualrly attractive, nor comfortable. I may be unique, but my body chemistry can digest even the thickest most robust denim in a couple of months. I'm not sure of the veracity of the portion of the above article when it comes to listing a college student who wore the same pair of jeans -- unwashed -- for 15 months; even if they didn't dissolve, I'll bet he was single for at least the last 14.5 months of that "experiment".

I have commented before on the tactile qualities of various fabrics, and have lamented how the most luxurious and sensuous ones are traditionally "off limits" for men. Denim reduces this to the ultimate expression of deathly-dullness. Yes, if it's the only stuff one has available to keep one protected from the elements (and the police) it'll have to do; however, there is more than denim available -- but it's "off limits". "Only women wear such frivolous things!" is a common retort one hears when questioning the status quo. I call "BS" on that.

Rich luxurious fabrics have an historic place in menswear; it's only been recently that it's been dumbed down. Velvets, satins, and laces -- all wonderful materials -- once were routinely used for menswear fabrics, at least for the upper classes who could afford it. Why has that been lost? Does this not make the spectacle of a billionaire in jeans seem all the more absurd? This is not the French Revolution: that happened quite a while ago, and it'd be nice if we could toss aside some of the baggage!

The same goes for skirts -- or at least in the case of public menswear of antiquity robes, gowns, and tunics. Why are these designs off limits for men today?

Damn you, Beau Brummel! (He's alive and well in Paris, but nobody can find him.) And damn your concept of, "The well dressed gentleman does not attract attention." (You don't suppose he was French, do you? And a peasant, at that?) At a stroke, a wide variety of styles vanished into thin air, and we find ourselves (as men) defined by the same narrow straitjackets with the only distinction between them being the level of tailoring that points out our position in society. It'll be trousers, then, and nothing overtly fancy, and for gods' sake nothing that'll make you stand out! Penguins -- on a good night. "Rebels Without a Clue" (and damn you James Dean and Marlon Brando) dumbed it down to the ultimate lowest common denominator.

So, why do I wear skirts? I wear them (when I'm brave and confident enough to) simply to state that, "I am an individual. I have an innate right to be who I am. I have the right to be different." I am not part of the vast bleating herd; not a sheep to be led to the shearing-shed or the slaughter; not interested in the artificial constraints that have been placed on men for the past 150 years, nor my half-century; and I like the comfort and style that only skirted designs, in nice fabrics, can provide.

I'll not be tossing my trousers any time soon for they come in handy. But for the good days, I want my skirts!

[janrok]

Since82:

I too don't know where you picked up the idea that I have a negative attitude towards man-to-man bedroom-interactions.

Well, here's news for you (all); I happen to be gay

By the way, my kilt/skirt wearing has nothing to do with my sexual preference and none of my partners ever opposed to it. I guess in that respect I am a lucky bastard.

Hug, Jan.