A bump in the road
A bump in the road
Hi to everyone, it has been quite some time since I was here last. I guess after reading the same type of posts for so long I got a little bored with it, sorry.
I came back here today because I have come to a problem in my life and thought I would share it with you. Perhaps someone has a good suggestion or can agree with what I decided to do.
For some time my wife has indicated her dislike about what I wear (mostly leggings with or without a short skirt) She has been seeing a shrink for sometime for her depression and one of the issues she discusses is what I wear. The shrink isn't against it as far as I can tell and has tried to help my wife understand me and accept me. Several months ago she indicated that she was Ok with it, but more recent she is not. She sees no way that she can accept it. This and other events led to her leaving me on the weekend, and after some long in depth phone calls she is back with me for now with our 2 children.
We have primarily agreed on 2 things, I will not wear leggings and skirts around her for the time being and we will both go see her shrink to work on our problems, skirts,depression and us. I hope that over time we may come to a solution that we can both be happy and co exist. We both want this to work out, it may take some time.
Over the years my way has changed, when we met she knew very early what I was like, back then it was very secretive and more of a cross dressing type of thing. Over time I felt it was not for me, and changing to how most of you are here, stay masculine but wear skirts etc. I'm not one who openly wears skirts out but sometimes have the courage to do so. I do wear leggings most of the time. Recently I stopped working to care for the kids, my job was going to crap and hers was going places, she is now full time. Since stopping work I wear leggings virtually all the time and a skirt perhaps 1/2 the time, they are bandage style mostly and I generally pull them up out of sight when out.
My wife is not a stong person and she has been swayed by her own family members against me and what I wear, I hope she listens now only to the shrink to workthings out I think I have at least minimised the negative impact of their involvment by agreeing to her shrink and kind of ask she only listens to her shrink, and me of course during our sessions. Her being somewhat weak means I have to be careful also to not try and sway her mind as I sometimes have.
I love my wife and my kids and we both want to be together and realise it will be a long road. If we were apart I don't know what I would do. I just don't know that I can put the way I am behind me. If I did, I feel there would be 2 people here taking anti depressives and I know I would not be happy.
Either way I cannot seee happiness, alone or in pants. I just hope there is an answer and or a compromise.
Sorry for long post, any comments are very welcome.
More than just a bump in the road, more like a mountain.
Cams
I came back here today because I have come to a problem in my life and thought I would share it with you. Perhaps someone has a good suggestion or can agree with what I decided to do.
For some time my wife has indicated her dislike about what I wear (mostly leggings with or without a short skirt) She has been seeing a shrink for sometime for her depression and one of the issues she discusses is what I wear. The shrink isn't against it as far as I can tell and has tried to help my wife understand me and accept me. Several months ago she indicated that she was Ok with it, but more recent she is not. She sees no way that she can accept it. This and other events led to her leaving me on the weekend, and after some long in depth phone calls she is back with me for now with our 2 children.
We have primarily agreed on 2 things, I will not wear leggings and skirts around her for the time being and we will both go see her shrink to work on our problems, skirts,depression and us. I hope that over time we may come to a solution that we can both be happy and co exist. We both want this to work out, it may take some time.
Over the years my way has changed, when we met she knew very early what I was like, back then it was very secretive and more of a cross dressing type of thing. Over time I felt it was not for me, and changing to how most of you are here, stay masculine but wear skirts etc. I'm not one who openly wears skirts out but sometimes have the courage to do so. I do wear leggings most of the time. Recently I stopped working to care for the kids, my job was going to crap and hers was going places, she is now full time. Since stopping work I wear leggings virtually all the time and a skirt perhaps 1/2 the time, they are bandage style mostly and I generally pull them up out of sight when out.
My wife is not a stong person and she has been swayed by her own family members against me and what I wear, I hope she listens now only to the shrink to workthings out I think I have at least minimised the negative impact of their involvment by agreeing to her shrink and kind of ask she only listens to her shrink, and me of course during our sessions. Her being somewhat weak means I have to be careful also to not try and sway her mind as I sometimes have.
I love my wife and my kids and we both want to be together and realise it will be a long road. If we were apart I don't know what I would do. I just don't know that I can put the way I am behind me. If I did, I feel there would be 2 people here taking anti depressives and I know I would not be happy.
Either way I cannot seee happiness, alone or in pants. I just hope there is an answer and or a compromise.
Sorry for long post, any comments are very welcome.
More than just a bump in the road, more like a mountain.
Cams
Have a nice Skirted Day 

Re: A bump in the road
No comments yet, shame. I know it is a hard post to repond to. If you only think that we are over, then say it. It is what I am thinking anyway. Seems there is no compromise possible, at least for now. I really don't know if I can stop being who I am, and that will end us.
Have a nice Skirted Day 

- Kilted_John
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Re: A bump in the road
Have you considered maybe a union kilt, utilikilt, or other male skirt, as a possibility to get her to accept it?
In any case, reason why I didn't respond until now, was that last night, when I checked the forum, I was headed to bed, so I just skimmed over the threads before calling it quits.
-J
In any case, reason why I didn't respond until now, was that last night, when I checked the forum, I was headed to bed, so I just skimmed over the threads before calling it quits.
-J
Skirted since 2/2002, kilted 8/2002-8/2011, and dressed since 9/2013...
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- Since1982
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Re: A bump in the road
Cams, everyone that marries runs into the problem of "competing" for attention with the people your S/O has had all of her/his life, ie: the family. The onlytime this doesn't happen is when the S/O has been apart from the family for most of his/her life. You're going to HAVE to take the bull by the horns and decide who is the husband and who is the wife. OR the 3rd choice is departing. 

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Story of Life, Perspire, Expire, Funeral Pyre!I've been skirted part time since 1972 and full time since 2005. http://skirts4men.myfreeforum.org/
Re: A bump in the road
Hi Skip, an interesting thought you have provided, but I will need to tread carefully with it as she is already upset. I have come up with a compromise that I think she would/should accept, that I do too. Now to tell her.
Have a nice Skirted Day 

-
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Re: A bump in the road
That's a really tough one, Cams, and I think the reason theere have been very few responses is that one really cannot come back with homespun philosophies or a brief soundbite.
It sounds to me that your use of a third party - the counsellor - is a good one. It might depersonalise some of the issues. Your putting clothing to one side for now is probably a good idea but your desires will bounce back and the underlying reasons for your wife not accepting will have to be teased out and resolved.
I was once married. My wife was initially okay with my clothing choice but as she grew older she was taken by conformity and started to reject my clothing choice. We divorced, not because of clothing but because of the underlying reasons. My current girlfriend is much more relaxed about clothing (both were made aware at an early stage.) She is older and less likely to change her opinion.
Good luck. I hope you prevail.
It sounds to me that your use of a third party - the counsellor - is a good one. It might depersonalise some of the issues. Your putting clothing to one side for now is probably a good idea but your desires will bounce back and the underlying reasons for your wife not accepting will have to be teased out and resolved.
I was once married. My wife was initially okay with my clothing choice but as she grew older she was taken by conformity and started to reject my clothing choice. We divorced, not because of clothing but because of the underlying reasons. My current girlfriend is much more relaxed about clothing (both were made aware at an early stage.) She is older and less likely to change her opinion.
Good luck. I hope you prevail.