skirtcafe.org

Several months ago my friend had a wedding. It was a fancy dress event, and her sister had stated she would wear a tux. So I went along with the concept of wearing "formal wear of the opposite gender" but wear it like as a man. No "crossdressing".

So here is my post event write up. As can be read this was quite a positive experience.

Some here have seen photos of this outfit taken at the event.

I think this report emphasizes just what non-sense, and unfairness we men have when it come to the clothing we wear, cause if I could I would wear similar for every formal event.

This morning after a couple of hours of everyone having a nice breakfast, and other such things, I went into my room and proceeded to get ready for the day's events. For the wedding I had bought a new pair of black leggs silken mist hose, never worn. After removing my undies I proceeded to very carefully put the hose on. Since they were new, and I knew that silken mists have a bad tendency to run, it took a couple of minutes to get them on.

Once in them I made sure they were fitting correctly and the seams were aligned front and back. After that I then put on my ankle boots with a 1 inch heel (men's boots patterned off the old Beatle style boots.) Following this I proceeded to get into the Cheonongsam. I had corrected the zipper problem so that I could have my hose on before pulling on the dress. The dress slid up more smoothly than it did with the reliance hose I had done all the test fits with. Once up I closed the side zip, secured the three buttons, and one latch that close up the forward right chest area. Aside from a loose jacket, this was all I would be wearing for the next 10hrs.

When I came through our guests comments was "Wow", and "that looks good" and "I love the pattern" No insults, no "You're wearing that?!" or other not so nice things. My room mate's sister said "that dress looks fabulous on you". Up until this day I had not walked outside in the dress, let alone gotten into a car. The forward and rear flaps pretty much stayed put in the light breeze, but the breeze impacting my legs through the ultra high vents, well for lack of a better term felt heavenly. When I got into the car, it was quite a different experience than when in a normal skirt. The flap on the front was very eager to slide off my leg, most likely due to the smoothness of the hose I was in. I essentially gave up trying to prevent it from sliding and ended up showing my room mate's sister quite a lot of leg. It felt invigorating, and sexy as hell. I couldn't get over the fact I was really wearing this awesome dress out in public.

When we arrived at the place for the wedding, I quickly figured how to get out of the car, the dress just slid over the material which made egress that much smoother. Once we got out of the parking garage I realized once again I was wearing something unlike anything I had worn before. There was a bit of a wind, and the flaps started moving around. Never going too high, but once again the feeling was unlike anything I had experienced. I was showing a whole lot of leg.

I looked around as I walked and saw either no one noticed, or if they did they smiled an approving smile. Several ladies looked at me (actually I think they were looking at my legs). When we got to the rest of the party, we all went into the building. The wedding was taking place at city hall, so we had to go through metal detectors. I dropped my keys into the basket and walked through, and got beeped. The guard looked at my attire, saw the zips on my boots and just said "no problem, it's the boots" No comment on my being in a dress.

The wedding went well. I did get some picies, and should have them available soon. So you all will finally see what pythos looks like. The pictures do the dress a lot of justice.

After the wedding I went with the sister again, and once again experienced a wonderfull feeling as I walked in this dress. I stated to the sister "I really think every guy should experience this at least once in his life, if not more" She said "It looks really good on you"

At the reception there were more people. When my attire was described terms like "fabulous", "gorgeous", "awesome", and "sexy" were used. I had been in the dress and hose for about 5 hours, and had absolutely no desire to get out of either. We all stayed at the reception for another 3 or four hours, I caught the garter, and then we all made our way home.

As I type this I am still in the outfit. I found it not in the least bit uncomfortable. The hose took on a very small bit of damage on the back lower leg, probably from the zip on one of the boots, which is a bummer, and the dress lost a seam under my left arm pit. It may be repairable, but if it isn't the dress served well.

The weather was warm at the reception, but I found no discomfort from the hose, in fact I forgot I had them on most of the time. My only reminder being seeing my shiny greyish colored legs jutting out from under this dress. The hose have a control top panty which every now and then would peek out from the vents. Looking at the dress now I realize just how high the slits are. I have to say these hose feel increadibly smooth to the touch, and feel really nice to the skin from toes to waist. I highly recomend them if you all can deal with how delicate they are when putting on. They stayed quite put the entire day, and fit well without any undies.

All in all my experience was quite positive. I got many compliments that made my confidence soar. Now I type this not looking forward to getting out of the dress and hose, but I know I have to take them off.

I most likely will not wear the dress again for a long time, if ever, but who knows, perhaps I can have this be a formal garment for other events. Who knows.

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Well,
Another first, my wife and I are the "Presidential Couple" of the local ballroom dance club. That means we get to set the themes and do most of the work. Anyway, we had to cancel this December's dance due to the snow that clobbered us last weekend. So, wife says how about a style dance? Normally, it means the females invite the males to dance, but she said let's add a little twist: ask the men to wear skirts and the ladies to wear tuxes.

Honestly, with this crowd (mostly 60+), it's unlikely anyone would actually do that, but I love the idea. We would have to order a rental tux for my wife.

If we go ahead with this, I will call a few of the younger members who are friends and see if I can sell them on the idea.

Pythos,
I recall seeing pics of you in the Cheonangsam, and you wear it well.

I have sort of an issue with this, and I mean no offense, but please consider the ethics of wearing something so "standout-ish" at someone else's wedding. Theoretically, at least, this is a once in a lifetime day for the couple, and a particularly singular (and usually expensive) day for the bride. Understanding that she is rightfully the center of attention of the event would have given me pause to reconsider wearing anything that would draw eyes from her and her groom.

Perhaps the people there were all well acquainted and it was no big deal to have guests dressed this way, but I would not have done so, personally. If we are to be ambassadors of male fashion freedom, we all need to consider the effect of our choices in determining what, where, and when are we appropriately attired.

Just fodder for contemplation.

Sasq

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It couldn't have been any more stand out than the other guest at a family wedding we attended about three years ago. This slightly dotty 70 something lady attended in a wedding dress!! I broke my S.O. up by nudging her and whispering "Behold, Miss Havisham" She took a couple of minutes to recover from pretending to cry into her hanky

Sasquatch.

Did you not read the intro?

Did you completely gloss over the fact this was a fancy dress wedding?

Did you not read the bride's sister was going to go in a TUXEDO?

Do you not understand the point of this site?

My roomate is the one that helped me fit the dress!

Honestlly, we make such a huge deal on one day of a couple's union, but not too soon after word most pay no further attention to how the couple is getting along.

If my response to your response seems a bit hot, well... it is. Your question shows you did not read the post, instead you did what many people do. They gloss over the majority of the post, and then respond to only those parts they read.

Also you post illustrates the continuing problem we men wanting to achieve fashion freedom are dealing with. You seem to think that you need to get permission to wear something you have every right to wear. Of course in instances like this you should ask. But your point of "center of attention" has a slight ring of sexism. How? Would you have made such a statement if I were a female of this site wearing that outfit to a wedding? The dress is very striking whether worn by a man or woman. The wearer will stand out. Are people at a wedding supposed to be dully dressed except for the bride and groom?

Pythos,

Thanks for taking the time to write up the day. I saw the picture of the dress some time ago when you posted it and must say it was an impressive dress and looked good on you, I was not too sure about the boots but the dress was fabulous. It's not an outfit I'd personally choose to wear but that is more a reflection on my less ostentatious nature than anything else. (If i'm honest I'd have to say that it would not look that good stretched around my body ) If you can't remember the dress Pythos posted this link to some pictures.

In defence of Sasq (though I suspect he's big enough to defend himself if he wants to) I read your first line of

...my friend had a wedding. It was a fancy dress event...

as meaning that it was a formal dress event rather than fancy dress as in a costume party, but that is probably because I've not heard of anyone having a fancy dress wedding before. So go easy on us if we sometimes misunderstand slightly

Have fun (and don't leave the Cheongsam hanging in a dark cupboard - get it out and wear it!),


Ian.

PS Wikipedia notes that

The word cheongsam entered English vocabulary through the Cantonese language, in which it refers to both male and female dresses of this type.

my only comment on this is that IF you didn't SPECIFICALLY clear this with both bride and groom, then you were very likely infringing on their extremely important day.

in your place, i wouldn't assume it was ok just because somebody else was dressing "differently".

I'm with Pythos on this one.

Firstly, he was the one going, not us. It was his judgement given the prevailing clothing advice (fancy dress) to wear the dress; quite right, given the fact that a woman was wearing black tie. We do not know his friends so accordingly cannot apply judgement from on high (or low!)

Secondly, it's quite possible to wear something amazing without detracting from the bride and groom. If you think that an unusual outfit somehow pulls their day apart, or demeans them, then I must respectfully but strongly disagree. It's usually the actions of someone that distracts attention, not the clothing. I've work kilted outfits to many weddings where my outfit was clearly more impressive than the groom's; it's never been an issue as I (and other kilties) defer to the fact that it's their day and do what we can to add to the event. Certainly, I'm not wearing trousers to a wedding and that's that.

I think the reactions to Pythos and his outfit say it all. A fabulous experience.

I'll have to add that at some of these fancy dress events it is considered a compliment to the hosts for the guests to arrive great finery. In these events it is considered an insult to dress less finely than the hosts - a sign that the guest didn't care enough to wear something really elegant, extravagant, or what ever had been requested

Sasquatch wrote:Pythos,
I recall seeing pics of you in the Cheonangsam, and you wear it well.

I have sort of an issue with this, and I mean no offense, but please consider the ethics of wearing something so "standout-ish" at someone else's wedding. Theoretically, at least, this is a once in a lifetime day for the couple, and a particularly singular (and usually expensive) day for the bride. Understanding that she is rightfully the center of attention of the event would have given me pause to reconsider wearing anything that would draw eyes from her and her groom.

Perhaps the people there were all well acquainted and it was no big deal to have guests dressed this way, but I would not have done so, personally. If we are to be ambassadors of male fashion freedom, we all need to consider the effect of our choices in determining what, where, and when are we appropriately attired.

Just fodder for contemplation.

Sasq

I agree with they way of thought, BUT,
Pythos really looks super in that dress. Match him if you can

I have never heard of rules that are written or unwritten, that states how visitors are to be dressed at a wedding. I would think that men are their usual normal neat selves, and the women? They of course wear their sunday best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pythos is NOT a woman, but an visitor, who did his best to look really good.

There is only one bride and groom, THey are the centre of attention, not any clothing worn by visitors.
The brid and groom may even choose to marry naked, and as long as the visitors were not asked to be naked too, they all would be better ""Dressed"" than the naked couple.

As long as he was not out there next to the couple asking more attention from the person marrying the two others, then it is irrelevant what he wore.

It shows great respect for the couple, as pythos hadn't worn it publically before, not in this way.

Peter v.

By the way, those dresses look fabulous, but you must have a suitable figure, which is probably why so few men even try wearing them.

peter v

Pythos wrote:Sasquatch.

Did you not read the intro?

Did you completely gloss over the fact this was a fancy dress wedding?

Did you not read the bride's sister was going to go in a TUXEDO?

Do you not understand the point of this site?

My roomate is the one that helped me fit the dress!

In fact I did read your post, but the relationships, which are undoubtedly clear in your own understanding, were not particularly clear in your transcription of the affair. If the friend getting married was your roommate, that could have been more clearly and succinctly explained, as well as the relationship with the sister, who, for all the reader could discern, may have dressed in a tux just to cheese someone off. As I went on to state, (if you read my post) if everyone was well acquainted, which you now indicate was the case, then it was no big deal.

As for a "fancy dress wedding", you might have provided an idea what that meant. Call me the Mayor of Simpleton, but to this country boy any event requiring a tie is "fancy dress". Forgive my failure to read your meanings that were so well obscured between the lines. If the failure to comprehend was my own fault, then please accept my apology.

Honestlly, we make such a huge deal on one day of a couple's union, but not too soon after word most pay no further attention to how the couple is getting along.

If my response to your response seems a bit hot, well... it is. Your question shows you did not read the post, instead you did what many people do. They gloss over the majority of the post, and then respond to only those parts they read.

Pehaps the problem is that I read the post only once, and responded to my understanding, or lack thereof. Had the personal relationships been more clearly defined , my response might have been phrased differently. I will admit that I do tire easily when reading lenghty posts, and this one was a bit longer than your usual posts which generally go straight to a subject. We are a fairly well-educated community and tend to show that fact by turning posts into dissertations. I, myself, am no exception, as you will, no doubt, gather by this response.

Also you post illustrates the continuing problem we men wanting to achieve fashion freedom are dealing with. You seem to think that you need to get permission to wear something you have every right to wear. Of course in instances like this you should ask. But your point of "center of attention" has a slight ring of sexism. How? Would you have made such a statement if I were a female of this site wearing that outfit to a wedding? The dress is very striking whether worn by a man or woman. The wearer will stand out. Are people at a wedding supposed to be dully dressed except for the bride and groom?

On that theme, Pythos, we shall, to an extent, disagree. I would hope that wherever we present ourselves, we do so as gentlemen. That belief may have much to do with my very southern background, or my advancing years, but I think it results mostly from basic life experience.

Philosophically, I am very much inclined to support you and those like you who dare to "push the envelope", and I admire your willingness to express yourself the way you do. But there is often more value in the exercise of prudence. It shows a maturity that benefits every cause and every discussion, and is so rarely seen, IMHO, even in the most important debates of our time. It represents the virtue of graciousness.

We as a "movement", if we dare call ourselves that, can help ourselves or hurt ourselves with the hows, wheres, and whens of our personal presentations. Perhaps there is a valid time and place for an "in your face" display of one's fashion affinity, but there are many more circumstances where a reserved, modest, or even subtle display does the most good on a personal level, which ultimately translates into good for the cause. Certainly upstaging a bride at her wedding would not be helpful on a personal basis and would reflect badly on the "movement."

I am thankful that was not the case and if further apology is warranted for my misunderstanding of your narrative, then I happily extend that olive branch now.

Your skirted comrade,
Sasq

I do see I made an error in the intro. I put friend instead of roommate.

The person getting married were my roommates, both bride and groom. I had an earlier post on the site I retrieved this from concerning my revealing my choice in what to wear to the wedding when I got home from purchasing the dress, and put it on with the boots and hose, walked through into my roommates room, and was met by astonished looks from both. The female roommate said the much stated "that looks really good on you", then stated she would help with the fitting of the upper portion to fit in a more masculine manner.

I thought when I copied this from the other site, I had included this rather explanatory part of the post. Here it is.

*So my roommate is having her wedding to which I have been invited. She clearly stated that she does not want me to wear a tux or boring suit. In other words she wants me in leggings or a skirt (hell, she may want me in one of my cat suits.)

Now the quandary rears its ugly head. I have gone to weddings before (and find them mind numbingly boring.) and have seen the guys in tuxes or boring ill fitting suits, including myself. Now I get to wear a skirted outfit. I know what to wear for the upper part (nice dress shirt, black or white), and shoes (my fancy Beatle boots.) The question is skirt, and hose. What skirt shall I wear for such an event? Long and loose, or tight, or a modest length mini? Grey or black? What shade hose? I don't want to bug her too much about this aspect of my outfit.

any Ideas? *

This post was followed a couple of weeks later by this one where I reveal my outfit to my roomates. There was an earlier post where I state about her sister claiming to wear a tux but it was too small. If you want to see the whole buildup go to the atrium and search for wedding.

*Ok, so after work I went to this shop down the street that sells oriental stuff. This is where I saw one of those Chinese silk dresses that I mentioned. Well I found one that looked good, black with gold accents (flowers unfortunately, would have preferred dragons, but eh). and since there were no fitting rooms I had no choice to try it on at home.

So, I get home, strip naked, put on black hose, and perform the act of contortionism necessary to get in. Unfortunately it did not zip up.

Well after some minor alterations, I got it to zip up, and button up. Oh wow!!! What an awesome piece of clothing. Then I slipped on my ankle boots, and showed it off to my roommates (the future newly weds). She was stunned at what she saw. Then she exclaimed "that looks really good on you" and I told her my intents for wearing it for the wedding, which she responded, "sure, it looks great, and after some more alterations it will look perfect".

So, I think it is a hit with the ones that count (He also said I looked great)

One problem is, the zip is on the side, and it is extremely tight, so due to the fact I won't really be able to wear a loose belt as I do with my cat suits, I will have to consider tucking (blea). Also, due to the zip on the side and tightness as the dress is pulled on, it drags over my hose, so I will have to put the dress on, and then the hose (I ruined a pair with the several attempts to get it to fit), which will be interesting. *

If this part had copied over our initial fur ball would not have taken place.
So it is I who should apologize.

Also I have a British background, where the term fancy dress party, or wedding, or event, means costumes, or unusual dress. Formal means black tie and gowns.

On another note.

The dress is currently out of service.

The side zip, which was never of good quality failed while I was putting the dress on to show to a freind who was interested in seeing how I looked in it in person. Unfortunately for me to get out, the zipper needed to be pulled violently from the dress, shredding the area the zipper was mounted. It may be salvageable, but may go beyond the worth of the dress in repair bills.

I may buy a replacement.