skirtcafe.org

Hi everyone,

I'm just beginning on the road towards skirt wearing.

Although I have had a desire to wear skirts for a long time, I don't yet own a skirt of my own. This would be a combination of fear of peoples reactions (something judging from messages here most people don't get) and feeling like it's perverted wanting to dress in womens clothes.

Recently I started getting angry at the injustice of not having the choice and well I'm still trying to convince myself that it doesn't matter what people think.

Well, after talking about it with my wife I'm no longer hiding browsing sites like this, and we went shopping tonight. It was a stressful experience, but that was more because of dragging our beautiful toddler around. Mind you, that did help a bit. It meant that we went into a family change room together.

Anyway, as I said at the beginning of my post, I don't own any skirts of my own, so the trip wasn't quite a success. But it was in part because I was finally able to be open about this with those I most care about.

Simon,

Glad to read that you have talked to your wife about the subject. I had a slight advantage that, following the holiday on which I met my future wife, I sent her a text saying that I'd got a kilt, which she appeared quite interested in. After that, on a couple of holidays that we had, I wore a sarong around the holiday complex, which she was more than happy with. Since then a skirt is the norm when at home and I got married in a kilt.

Welcome to the group.

Bryan

Welcome Simon,

And congratulations! It sounds as though you have already done the hardest part and won (at least) acceptance from your nearest and dearest. So often posters report that they get no negative reactions to their skirt wearing from strangers but that family and especially wives / girl friends don't like it, possibly because they are worried that it will reflect on them.

The weather should be warming up nicely in the Southern Hemisphere by now, why not go and look for a sarong (try ebay) they are "one size" and very informal and likely to be easily accepted by people around you, much as kilts are often used by guys as a way to get others familiar with their skirted aspirations.

Hold your head up high, there is nothing odd about wanting to chose your own clothes and projecting your self confidence will have a remarkably positive effect on how others perceive you.

Have fun,


Ian.

Milfmog wrote:...why not go and look for a sarong ... they are "one size" and very informal and likely to be easily accepted by people around you, ...

Given that Sarongs are normal attire in Indonesia, which IIRC is a popular (winter) holiday destination for Australians, I would think that Australians would be more likely to see them as male attire (if, perhaps ethnic male attire) than those of us in the Americas or the UK might.

Can anyone from that part of the world advise us further?

-----
On a different note:

I just can't control myself any more, so here goes:

AMM wrote: Scotty, why don't you wear sarongs?

I dinnoe, I tried one on once, but it just felt sarong.

I hadn't considered a sarong, it sounds like a good idea though. As an added bonus they seem relatively cheap!

Unfortunately, I found out last night when going to bed, although it sounded ok in theory. Actually going out shopping (it was her idea to come with me) proved to be too confronting. Not to mention that she had a bit of "skirt envy" when I tried on a style that she would like to wear, in a size she'd like to get back down to. Just as well it showed a bulge that in the groin area that didn't look good. She would apparently prefer that I started with a kilt, or any skirt that is actually made for men. But that's not really going to happen based on prices.

Anyway, thanks for the encouragement.

Simon,

Most of us understand and have experienced the fear you describe. However, we have almost always found that the fear was in our own head. The reality of skirt-wearing is you will encounter a lot more acceptance than you think. Although it is not seen everyday, a man in a skirt in public is usually a "non-event," as long as you are acting normally and comfortably about it. People respond to your own actions. Just choose your outfit carefully to fit well and reflect who you really are, and go out looking your best!

A few more of us Aussies on the board will be good. Whereabouts are you in this wiiiide brown and (at least here, green and wet) land are you?

As encouragement, I wore sarongs out for some years before, just last year, wearing a skirt out and, after the initial unjustified terror , found it was, pretty well a non event . As a reply to the question posed by Sarongs are fairly common in the hotter parts of Australia and it was common to see, in Nambour, sarong clad men.

The temperature here in Armidale N.S.W. is predicted to reach 26 celsius (just a touch under 80F) so I might just wear the skirt I'm in to town today. Go fer it buddy, you've nothing to lose but your inner dignity and freedom if you suppress your inner need in this regard.

Hallo Simon, down under
From an ex ausie, WELCOME

f I may;
You seem to have broken the ice well, and having support so close is or can be very important. That is most often the most difficult thing to overwin.
Once you get used to the idea, you can go shopping all by your self, just do as you would otherwise do, but in the "Ladies "dept. As most skirts come from those clothing racks. There are so many beautiful skirts, but to start with, a inexpensive denim skirt is most often used. It is practical and people don't even seem to notice it. Other skirts may attract more attention, but stil no more that "O he is wearing a skirt".

You may be happy with one skirt, but if you would enjoy more, then buying together with your wife, may be rewarding for both. You are a twosome, so why not buy skirts together? Involvement of the wife especially in the begin period, may also help her to overwin any insecure feelings that may still linger about your choice.

You have nothing to be ashamed of, stand upright, proud and enjoy the pleasure that skirt wearing can bring. Ausies are used to wearing shorts, more so than we here in europe at least, so who cares if you have a nice cool and airy skirt on or a restricting pair of sh*rts?

The summer time is an excellent time to start.

Don't wear other soorts of skirts than you actually want to, just to please others. I don't think that is in anyone's bennefit. It just prolongs the misery of not wearing what YOU want to. But sarongs as suggested are in themselves a nice tropical skirt and may be a nice option to the common Denim skirt.

If you have the time, read the topics, and you will see that the experienced wearers can confirm that it is not an issue to wear skirts. Only for job requirements it often is difficult to wear skirts, but in some jobs it is possible.

Listen to your inner self, and go for it.

Succes. and again welcome. From a cold Holland.

Peter v.

I'm in Ballarat, so we're known more for cold weather. But in fact the Summer's still get much too hot for my liking.

As for brown. Certainly is. Even lake Lake Wendouree at the centre of town is dry and brown despite drinking water from the small reserves being diverted to it before last Summer.

I'm not in an industry where custom contact is required, and the only company directive on clothes I am aware of is to not have bare feet when walking around. I could probably get away with it, but for the time being I'm not really interested in taking that step.

At the moment I'm taking it quite slow (even taking a step back) while I work though my own issues. Beyond opening up here and to my wife I'm not really sure what I'll do.[/url]

simon wrote:At the moment I'm taking it quite slow (even taking a step back) while I work though my own issues. Beyond opening up here and to my wife I'm not really sure what I'll do.

Sounds sensible, if you are not sure how you feel about things in your own mind you will find it difficult to explain to anyone else, even if they are listening.

Perhaps you should just take it easy, maybe try a sarong or other type of skirt around the house for kicking about when winding down after work. If you and your wife (and any children?) feel comfortable you can then decide whether you want to wear skirted garments outside your own home. There is no sense in jumping straight into public skirt wearing if you are not comfortable socially with doing so, you would just make yourself tense and unhappy.

For those of us who are comfortable it is easy to forget how odd we felt at first. I try to remind myself of this regularly and not encourage others to step beyond their own bounds before they are ready. However we have all been through the doubts and wondering, so if there are questions you want to ask and matters you want to work through please speak out, someone here will be able to help.

Have fun,


Ian.

Welcome to the forum, from a kilted Scotsman. If you'd been in the northern hemisphere I'd be saying start with a kilt, however as you are in the antipodes maybe a sarong would be a better idea. It takes time. I started wearing a kilt as countyry dancing costume when I was about 40; started wearing kilts as everyday clothing at the age of 51 when a leg injury put me on crutches and only this year at 56 have I diversified from kilts into wearing denim skirts as an alternative to the kilt.

Hi Simon.

I'm in the west, where we had in excess of 44° the other day.
I've been wearing skirts at work full-time for the last three years plus. I had one commercially available design modified to my requirements and have since added more details. This is one featured when I was interviewed for Today Tonightlast year. If you have someone who can sew reasonably well this could be a cheap alternative and a skirt made for men to boot! Just let me know and I'll see if I can send you a pattern - or I might be able to get someone here to make one for you (would need to know your measurements). Send me a pm with what you want and I'll help as much as I can.

To those who suggested a sarong, I gave it a try while on holiday. It also pushed my normal boundaries by being a bright orange when I normally wear very dark colours.

I started by wearing it to the beach, and around the house a bit. Then on the way to the beach one day I went in to a shop wearing it. No reaction of course.

A couple of days later my wife put the shorts I was planning to wear out in the wash. So, out for a longer shopping trip in the sarong. Still no comment so I finally started to feel like it really isn't an issue.

That's very true about sarongs and for a beach holiday they are superb. They have an informal and impulsive air about them, rather than looking contrived over over-thought about.

The reaction a skirt gets, even on the beach, is hard to believe. One time Vivienne and I were on a Greek island and it was really hot. We're on the beach and I'm wearing a diesel khaki mini and settling into the sunbed and one woman wouldn't stop staring at me and walking "casually" near to the sun loungers and then back and forth trying secretively to see what I was wearing underneath.

I mean, everyone was in swimsuits, even me, so I was showing a lot less than virtually everyone else on the beach. But she just couldn't handle her curiosity. People are strange!

simon wrote:To those who suggested a sarong, I gave it a try while on holiday. It also pushed my normal boundaries by being a bright orange when I normally wear very dark colours.

I started by wearing it to the beach, and around the house a bit. Then on the way to the beach one day I went in to a shop wearing it. No reaction of course.

A couple of days later my wife put the shorts I was planning to wear out in the wash. So, out for a longer shopping trip in the sarong. Still no comment so I finally started to feel like it really isn't an issue.

It isn't an issue. And for EVERYTHING on this planet, there will always be a few who have grievences about it. Such is skirt wearing. WE ourselves tell ourselves that is may be a problem. But it ISN'T. It isn't an issue for the majority, and the other few, we disregard.

Petrer v