skirtcafe.org

As well as being envious of the skirts women can wear, I have always been just as envious of the shoes/boots that they get to wear.
After last weekend, I had left my new orange boots casually among some work boxes, waiting for me to get around to putting them away.

On seeing them today, just stood there, my thoughts crystallised into realising that I have no envy left with women and their shoes. Sure, I will lust after other shoes and boots in the future, but these are MY orange boots, that I wear and walk around in. To me they look amazing and I am so stoked that they are mine to wear.

I know most of you think I am crazy, but the small boy inside of me is so so happy that I get to wear these out and about.

For me one of the best things about wearing skirts, is the perceived added freedom I have taken, which in my brain allows me to wear anything I like on my feet. Do other members agree or are your feet still locked in the man box?

Also, why do both DM and Timberland, only marketed their tall boots, to the female side of the shop?

My feet are locked in the "comfort" and "stability" box.
I am getting too old to possibly trip and fall without consequences.

When will all these brands realize they have a large market just waiting to be tapped with the right marketing and sizes larger than eu43.

Mouse, since my change in clothing habits I endeavour to never say anything that isn"t the absolute truth to me - within my circle of similar minds . Here goes:

I have never been a fan of feminine footwear! It looks so uncomfortable. I can see that the red sparke stilletos in the shop window raise the temperature in some women and men and they virtually can't sleep until the shoes are in their possession. They leave me cold, I like them, I think they look cool but that's it. Instead i'm actually a fan of mens footwear (gasp) which works well for me as one of the many arms of womens fashion is chunky footwear with feminine skirts. I am a sucker for pretty skirts and dresses though.

The small boy inside of me is mostly happy now. The first time i ventured into the land of the skirt it was like a firework display in my head, I was so happy. Now the excitement has died down and I just 'really like them'. There is still an air of excitement when I know something is coming in the post today.

Am I still locked in the man box? I think the answer is probably yes. I don't think I will ever be fully free. I can't just break 50 years of indoctrination in two years. I wish it were otherwise.

Ladies DMs! I only recently encountered this in Schuh. They had all the nice DMs with platform soles etc in the womens dept and all the bland original DMs in the mens. FO that's what I say to that. Luckily in the DM store they make no such distinction.

Barleymower wrote: ↑Thu Oct 02, 2025 4:36 pm I have never been a fan of feminine footwear!

I’m not a fan of feminine footwear either. I do like them on women but I find them uncomfortable to wear because I’m a big guy. I like feminine boots though but not so much feminine shoes. The only feminine shoes I like are Mary Janes and bought a nice pair of Mary Jane style ballet shoes which are comfortable. As I’ve mentioned elsewhere in the cafe I adore the look of combat boots, Timberlands and Dr Martens with skirts and dresses. That’s what got me interested in wearing skirts and dresses. Even though I’m not a fan of feminine footwear I do wear feminine hosiery with my Dr Martens boots and skirts and dresses like black 10 denier sheer tights and black fishnet tights.

DrFishnets wrote: ↑Thu Oct 02, 2025 6:33 pm

Barleymower wrote: ↑Thu Oct 02, 2025 4:36 pm I have never been a fan of feminine footwear!

I’m not a fan of feminine footwear either. I do like them on women but I find them uncomfortable to wear because I’m a big guy. I like Mary Jane shoes and bought a nice pair of Mary Jane style ballet shoes which are comfortable. As I’ve mentioned elsewhere in the cafe I adore the look of combat boots, Timberlands and Dr Martens with skirts and dresses. That’s what got me interested in wearing skirts and dresses. Even though I’m not a fan of feminine footwear I do wear feminine hosiery with my Dr Martens boots and skirts and dresses like black 10 denier sheer tights and black fishnet tights.

Dare I say Arty, that I'm not a fan of womenswear! What I mean is there is so much 'womenswesr' out there and much of it is cheap and poorly made synthetic fabrics. Menswear being for utilitarian is often strong and hardwearing. I feel fortunate in some ways because I'm not driven by female fashions. I can pick up some quailty clothes at knock down prices in secondhand shops.
I have no desire to go full fem so I can mix some nice 'feminine' pieces with my menswear.

Barleymower wrote: ↑Thu Oct 02, 2025 7:00 pm I have no desire to go full fem so I can mix some nice 'feminine' pieces with my menswear.

I have no desire to go full fem also. I’d say the only true feminine item of clothing I wear are fishnet tights. I like mixing masculine and feminine styles in my clothes. The goth and grunge girls who dressed in men’s combat boots and skirts and dresses mixing masculine and feminine really inspired me with my styles. I’d say my MIS styles are inspired by the masculine and feminine styles young women wear.

My life and social life have changed significantly over the last three years. Society seems to have changed too. People dress more casually than ever when going out. Being the most practical for work and leisure I virtually live in ballet flats these days. I still have my collection of over 300 pairs of heels but sadly I don't go anywhere that really demands them.

I struggle with the term "full fem", since I do not know where the line is. If it is the percentage of what you are wearing, was originally marketed to females, then many of my outfits are way over 50% and many close to the 100%, with my bush hat and nose ring, the only gender neutral thing on my body. As in this outfit.

If you are being picky, the one male thing here is the skirt, since I made it for me, adapted from a pattern with a picture of a woman on the front. But I know this and now so do you, but the person in the street just sees the skirt as part of the whole look.

I think my metric is one of "ME" and what I call my "Style". If I am happy with my look and in control and ready to rock the outfit, then the composition of female/male items is of no concern. If I am on the back foot, being attacked from all sides by my family, then black kilt, black DMs and Male Jacket will be the order of the day. (The fact that my tall black DMs come from the pink side of the DM shop, is just a comic fact that I keep to myself)

I think it is more of what is in our heads. As soon as you put on any skirt, there is a section of society that has you in the woman box anyway. When I first bought my Skirt Craft skirt, my male/fem meter in my brain was happy since I was rocking a gender neutral skirt, however Mrs mouse took one look and immediately put me right, "it just looks like any normal skirt, nothing special". So with that, I realised, a standard Roman denim skirt was just as OK for work as an expensive Skirt Craft was, since nobody was aware of the difference, just me and my brain.

I have had a similar journey on shoes/boots. My first real boots for my skirts were my tall Tinberlands, which are manly boots, made tall and sold to females. Same with my tall DMs and Converse. Makes no sense to me why a boot for a man can only extend to the ankle, except for riding boots and country boots, such as my Dubarry boots. So again, the metric has now changed to what shoes/boots fit my feet and I think look good, with the rest of my style.

I am now a free dressing man, I am not trying to look like a woman as many manly dressed women are not trying to look like a man. We are dressing as we please and in what suits what we are doing or where we are going.

Mouse wrote: ↑Sat Oct 04, 2025 4:47 am I am now a free dressing man, I am not trying to look like a woman as many manly dressed women are not trying to look like a man. We are dressing as we please and in what suits what we are doing or where we are going.

I am a free dressing man too Mouse. Even when I wear fishnet tights I wear them because I love the look of them especially paired with combat boots or Dr Martens with a nice skirt or dress. I am not trying to look like a woman either. It just happens that I really love the styles of clothes designed for women. I design my own style as I am very artistic and love fashion design.

As for footwear I am too disappointed that most footwear for men don’t go above the ankle as I have been wanting to buy Dr Martens boots that go above the ankle but cannot get them in UK size 11. They only go up to UK size 8 for women. I’ve been looking at buying knee length boots but they aren’t available in sizes over UK size 8.

I like the Mary Jane shoes you are wearing Mouse. The only feminine footwear I’m not keen on are the pointed heeled and pointed toe skimpy shoes though I don’t mind just a little bit of heel I generally prefer Dr Martens, combat boots or Timberlands.

Good outfit Mouse. What brand are those shoes... I wonder if they come in my size (43-44)...?

Stevej180 wrote: ↑Tue Oct 07, 2025 8:04 pm Good outfit Mouse. What brand are those shoes... I wonder if they come in my size (43-44)...?

Size 43-44 is also my problem. If I could wear a smaller size, there are so many pretty women’s shoes that I could wear. That is shoe envy for me!

jamie001 wrote: ↑Wed Oct 08, 2025 2:58 am

Stevej180 wrote: ↑Tue Oct 07, 2025 8:04 pm Good outfit Mouse. What brand are those shoes... I wonder if they come in my size (43-44)...?

Size 43-44 is also my problem. If I could wear a smaller size, there are so many pretty women’s shoes that I could wear. That is shoe envy for me!

Thank you both, I am fortunate having 8.5/9UK feet which normally work in 42/43 EU

I bought these shiny Mary Janes as an experiment when the cafe had a thread about Mary Janes. These are a cheap ebay purchase for the look and there are similar here https://ebay.us/m/RpbzxL The ones I bought were cheap even having a fake buckle, the strap is just velcro. Please be aware of what you are buying. For usable Mary Jane I would go to DM or Birkenstock, but if you are not walking far, these look the part.

I wrote about my purchase here
viewtopic.php?p=260274#p260274
And problems using them for work here
viewtopic.php?p=260347#p260347

Thanks Mouse... I'd missed that thread and went back to read it... a useful cautionary tale!