Are we engaging in fashion freedom?

[Coder]

I'm not trying to push anyone's buttons - I am being genuine in my question.

For years I've had an obsession with wanting to wear skirts and other things only the "other side" has been allowed to wear - and now that I'm wearing what I've always wanted to I'm content. But what's been increasingly bugging me over the past year or two is: is this really fashion freedom, or am I just locked into a system that I've set for myself?

Don't get me wrong - I abhor what goes for regular men's fashion - and I'm not a big fan of suits. I'm less hateful of a very casual jeans+sneakers+t-shirt look, and I am ecstatic when I figure out the right skirt+shirt+shoes combination. But sometimes I feel like I'm just trading one fashion jail for another. This probably too strong a way to put it.

Let me rephrase: if I was all about fashion freedom - my first priority would be to encourage guys around me to wear what they want to wear - not what society/wives/parents have dictated to them. If I saw a guy wearing snazzy clothing, I would compliment him on standing out from the crowd of dull people. But as a guy - well guys just don't make comments like that to strangers. I would post manifesto's on Reddit (j/k), encourage family members to experiment with fashion, and spend more time delving into color theory or proportion systems. While I let my contempt be known to family members for traditional styling - my vehement hate for suits - I never provide a positive alternative.

But I don't do any/most of that. How many of us advocate for fashion freedom for ourselves, but don't extend that same attitude or behavior towards others? And does fashion freedom mean simply wearing skirts, or rather should it encompass men breaking out of the jail and letting them run wild with whatever they wish to wear?

[crfriend]

There's a small problem with freedom -- it's a double-edged sword. Yes, it allows one to do what one wishes so long as it harms no-one else, but it also grants one the unlimited power to make an idiot out of one's self. Hence, moderation and grace should be the watchwords. This is frequently forgotten or overlooked.

[Layne]

Are you not free right now to wear what you want?

Or is it not freedom that you really desire?

Do you want to make any choice that you wish and there be no consequence?

Do you want everyone to se your choices and embrace them as their own?

[denimini]

I think that most of us have had fashion freedom since the time our parents stopped choosing our clothes, in the majority of countries we live in.
If we are influenced by social conventions; that is still our choice. If we get beaten and put in jail then we do not have that freedom.

[new2skirts]

I'm not trying to push anyone's buttons - I am being genuine in my question.

For years I've had an obsession with wanting to wear skirts and other things only the "other side" has been allowed to wear - and now that I'm wearing what I've always wanted to I'm content. But what's been increasingly bugging me over the past year or two is: is this really fashion freedom, or am I just locked into a system that I've set for myself?

Don't get me wrong - I abhor what goes for regular men's fashion - and I'm not a big fan of suits. I'm less hateful of a very casual jeans+sneakers+t-shirt look, and I am ecstatic when I figure out the right skirt+shirt+shoes combination. But sometimes I feel like I'm just trading one fashion jail for another. This probably too strong a way to put it.

Let me rephrase: if I was all about fashion freedom - my first priority would be to encourage guys around me to wear what they want to wear - not what society/wives/parents have dictated to them. If I saw a guy wearing snazzy clothing, I would compliment him on standing out from the crowd of dull people. But as a guy - well guys just don't make comments like that to strangers. I would post manifesto's on Reddit (j/k), encourage family members to experiment with fashion, and spend more time delving into color theory or proportion systems. While I let my contempt be known to family members for traditional styling - my vehement hate for suits - I never provide a positive alternative.

But I don't do any/most of that. How many of us advocate for fashion freedom for ourselves, but don't extend that same attitude or behavior towards others? And does fashion freedom mean simply wearing skirts, or rather should it encompass men breaking out of the jail and letting them run wild with whatever they wish to wear?

In the last 15 years on this site, I've seen lots of changes, from usually overweight men in jean skirts to the variety we have now. I think in early days, everyone had to push the Fashion Freedom line, but since the advent of Instagram and the likes of Reddit, there are many just getting out and doing it! 14,000 men seem to have an interest in r/menskirt (proper skirts, not kilts) worn in various locations, at the office, the mall, the beach, at home... and although it's guys asking "does my skirt look OK?" It's different from the disclaimer we give ourselves of saying clothes have no gender etc...

Fashion Freedom can't be achieved by forcing our view or preference on others. Some may see our skirt, like the look, and try it themselves... these are the genuinely "dont give a sh!t" types who may wear a skirt just... because. Other guys are just comfortable in their jeans / slacks etc but may not feel imprisoned by their choice.fashion shows have more men in skirts than ever, and UK Tabloid papers always feature some schoolboys or other outside contractors wearing skirts as it is so hot.

Change is coming, slowly

[Mouse]

Our choice of clothes is governed by a number of things that mean we are never totally free. So in no particular order here is what is limiting my choice.

Weather - Sometimes I am limited by the weather being too hot, wet, cold, etc for the clothes I would like to wear.

Legal - I have to cover a couple of places on my body for the majority of the UK.

Work - My company (I own it) likes my skirts and footware to be reasonable for where I am working and who I am meeting.

My Wife - Sometimes says "are you really going out in that?" Mainly if we are going to see my mother or I am going to work. Note this is not a restriction, but part of give and take in a marriage.

Me - I have a "Style" which I present to the world.

If you look at my picture stream http://www.skirtcafe.org/forums/viewtopic.php?t=24615 you can judge how free I am. I think my freedom restrictions are pretty similar to most western women only they have to legally cover up a couple of extra spots.

[SkirtsDad]

Is this really fashion freedom, or am I just locked into a system that I've set for myself?

I think it is very easy to unwittingly redefine oneself as "that person who wears skirts" (or whatever) and feel a need to constantly maintain that image.

if I was all about fashion freedom - my first priority would be to encourage guys around me to wear what they want to wear

Should there be any assumption that they are not wearing what they want?

How many of us advocate for fashion freedom for ourselves, but don't extend that same attitude or behavior towards others?

I feel this is true for more than one or two that have been on this forum. What anyone else wants to wear, be that trousers or something else, is not my concern. Neither is what I think they look like unless someone is asking.

does fashion freedom mean simply wearing skirts, or rather should it encompass men breaking out of the jail and letting them run wild with whatever they wish to wear?

For me, fashion freedom is not being restricted by authoritarian rules, such as in the work place, or sociatal peer pressure, whilst at the same time appreciating that on some occasions, not all clothing is automatically appropriate, whether that be for health and safety reasons or other.

[Coder]

If we are influenced by social conventions; that is still our choice.

I don't know about this one - social conventions can be enforced by family through shunning or disapproval - if the choice is please family or wear what you want - there is a choice but it's not a freely made choice.

Is this really fashion freedom, or am I just locked into a system that I've set for myself?

I think it is very easy to unwittingly redefine oneself as "that person who wears skirts" (or whatever) and feel a need to constantly maintain that image.

This I think is a principal concern I have - I can't tell where I am exercising choice and when I feel compelled to meet a standard I've set. Due to some projects I will be going into work a bit more frequently - my hope is I can loosen my rigid thoughts and wear what I want to wear. In practice this will likely still be a skirt every time, but I want to believe and feel I'm making a choice.

if I was all about fashion freedom - my first priority would be to encourage guys around me to wear what they want to wear

Should there be any assumption that they are not wearing what they want?

It probably isn't right to assume they are not - but I think men hold back because of peer pressure. Some would argue giving into peer pressure is a choice - I don't agree.

For me, fashion freedom is not being restricted by authoritarian rules, such as in the work place, or sociatal peer pressure, whilst at the same time appreciating that on some occasions, not all clothing is automatically appropriate, whether that be for health and safety reasons or other.

Heartily agree

[crfriend]

It probably isn't right to assume they are not - but I think men hold back because of peer pressure. Some would argue giving into peer pressure is a choice - I don't agree.

Oh, giving in to peer-pressure is most definitely a choice -- and it's a choice that most people need to pay close attention to because the consequences of that decision can change the trajectory of one's life.

Is there anything fundamentally wrong with a decision to cave? No, but one gets to live with the consequences. One also gets to live with the consequences when one climbs out of the trench. This is where fear takes over and most people do cave to peer pressure. They needn't, of course, but they also need to know that they'll get to face the music for straying off the beaten path.

[Barleymower]

For years I've had an obsession with wanting to wear skirts and other things only the "other side" has been allowed to wear - and now that I'm wearing what I've always wanted to I'm content.

If you don't mind me asking what other things?
I can say right now, there isn't anything from the other side that is off limits.

But what's been increasingly bugging me over the past year or two is: is this really fashion freedom, or am I just locked into a system that I've set for myself?

If you have set yourself acceptable limits then you probably have locked yourself in.
It's not easy though is it? I adore certain styles but I don't allow myself to enjoy them.

I never provide a positive alternative.

In suit terms, is there one? The suit is very much a man thing. Women's suits were big in the eighties, power shoulders etc. But never surpassed the man's suit as with many items. The finest men suits and and shirts are fabulous.

But I don't do any/most of that. How many of us advocate for fashion freedom for ourselves, but don't extend that same attitude or behavior towards others?

I have done it but I don't do it anymore. Even if in some cases I really don't like the look.

does fashion freedom mean simply wearing skirts, or rather should it encompass men breaking out of the jail and letting them run wild with whatever they wish to wear?

Men should have exactly the same rights as women

Question:
You may not like the skirt below but is it too much. When do clothes become too girly?

Screenshot_20240618_204315_eBay.jpg

[Coder]

For years I've had an obsession with wanting to wear skirts and other things only the "other side" has been allowed to wear - and now that I'm wearing what I've always wanted to I'm content.

If you don't mind me asking what other things?
I can say right now, there isn't anything from the other side that is off limits.

What's in my pics and looks post. Skirts + accessories. Maybe I limit my footwear a bit, but overall what's in that post over the years is what I'm referring to. And maybe hats (but nothing weird or outlandish). For some reason I can't get into wearing hats.

Question:
You may not like the skirt below but is it too much. When do clothes become too girly?

Tough question - I'd suggest it's in the eye of the viewer and wearer. Societal biases will drive us to one conclusion or the other - and I think it's moderating our appearance of clothes so we don't run afoul of norms that are present to protect us or those around us.

[Grok]

Men used to wear hats. Maybe they disappeared because of the general trend towards informality.

[Barleymower]

Tough question - I'd suggest it's in the eye of the viewer and wearer. Societal biases will drive us to one conclusion or the other - and I think it's moderating our appearance of clothes so we don't run afoul of norms that are present to protect us or those around us.

Then in the spirit of genuine debate: yes you/we are locked into a system and this not fashion freedom.

Even the most 'out there' of us probably is moderating our clothes due to our gender. Only when gender no long comes into question will male fashion freedom be reached.
Do women have absolute fashion freedom? There will always be critics but yes they do.

[Grok]

Even the most 'out there' of us probably is moderating our clothes due to our gender. Only when gender no long comes into question will male fashion freedom be reached.

I think that only a very few members practice complete fashion freedom, or at least a fairly close approximation.

[DrFishnets]

Fashion freedom is if you are confident and happy in what you wear and don’t give a damn what other people think. This is indeed easier said than done but it takes time to feel confident in wearing whatever you like and the more times you do it the more easier it is and you become more confident and it becomes fashion freedom.

Dressing in the opposite genders clothes is perfectly legal in the part of the world I live in and I guess it’s legal where most of you live in the world too. The only thing stopping us from dressing the way we want to is the fear of societies acceptance of us dressing that way but it just needs determination to do it.

At the beginning I was scared to go out in skirts, leggings and tights but one day I got so fed up and I walked out the house wearing leggings and I nearly had a panic attack. I did it and the more times I did the easier it was and I felt free. Not long after I joined this forum I went out in a pleated black skirt and black leggings and nobody cared what I was wearing and I got no ridicule. It felt great and I felt as free as a bird.