Incognito

[jamodu]

Yesterday, I went shopping in a very large M&S with my Wife. The store was mostly populated with Women. Lots of them. I was fully dressed in items from the other side of the isle and no-one battered an eyelid,

This included Women’s Shoes, Tights, Bralette, and Knickers (panties). The caveat is that I was also wearing Women’s Trousers (pants) rather than a Skirt.

[Jim]

How is this relevant to men wearing skirts? This is not a place where we discuss our underwear.

[Barleymower]

In terms of equality, I'm happy that you wear whatever you want, you have the same rights as the opposite sex.
I am however in agreement with Jim. Its not in line with the purpose of this discussion board.

[Coder]

I agree with Jim as well.

[Fred in Skirts]

Item 3 of the rules state:
3. SkirtCafe is a family-friendly fashion forum. No adult material. No discussion of clothing not meant to be seen in public, unless it affects clothing that IS meant to be seen. Underwear is NOT public fashion.

The Moderators have made it very clear that this rule WILL be followed!

[Mouse]

Not sure I am allowed to post after a Moderator has spoken in red……And I understand and accept that Jamodu was over the line. However he was obviously chuffed at what he had achieved in his would and circumstances. I do not know of Jamodu ultimate destination, but it is plain to see that the real Jamodu is not out in public yet. I see this place as one where we can help each other to get to their happy place in public. I hope that Jamodu gets from his visit to M & S, the knowledge that nobody cares what he is wearing, except possibly his wife. It is totally possible to walk into M&S as a man wearing a bright colourful skirt, heels, nails and be happy and fine. Finding the confidence to do it and be free is the first trick, the second is to get your wife to be there with you. I see Jamodu’s post as him telling us of a step he had made, but he gave us a tad too much information. However if he had posted that he had visited M&S in trousers there would be little point in posting.
Sorry if I have done wrong here, but I felt sorry for Jamodu.

[STEVIE]

Sorry if I have done wrong here, but I felt sorry for Jamodu.

I'd add my agreement here, and with no damned apologies.
Why can it be wrong to express sympathy or empathy for another member who will be more mindful in the future.
Let's hope that Jamodu is not sufficiently discouraged as to depart the cafe entirely.
If you have never made some blunder in your life, you were either very lucky or you have done nothing at all.
I have, still do and every day is a school day.
Steve.
PS maybe one day, "incognito" wont be relevant either.

[jamodu]

………..

[Coder]

I don’t think anyone was slamming Jamodu - but perhaps the “admonishment” could use a bit of nuance. Keep in mind not all of us take into account how long someone has been registered on this board - knowing the rules is important but not everyone will understand or know them by heart. Being registered recently doest’t mean too much if one lurks for years and sees these discussions pop up and be shot down.

Anyhow - I’ll stand by what I wrote but as you will find - there is a lot more tolerance/understanding for what we wear on the outside than we have in our minds. I started with women’s jeans and the world didn’t crash down upon me.

[crfriend]

Actually, the "admonishment" was posted before Jamodu's post thus could not have been aimed at him. Timing is important here. Note also, that I do not call out individuals in public, instead focusing on behaviours -- I'm very tired of seeing people "called out in public" over things that should not be made so (this happens all the time where I work where insecure and incompetent "managers" call out subordinates in public meetings (which I refer to as "beatings") and is despicable behaviour). As far as the "admonishment" goes, that's also being handled in the background.

This is not a school-yard, and we expect certain standards of behaviour -- and the moderators adhere to that as well. We're active in the background when we need to be, and calling an individual out in public is not the way to handle matters.

[Uncle Al]

IMHO, Fred in Skirts post about "The Rules" was given as a REMINDER of what level of respect and ethics are needed at Skirt Cafe'.
His post was issued because he didn't want any Admin Staff to get 'chuffed' about someone not adhering to Cafe' Guidelines/Rules
of Conduct.

As a member of the Admin Staff(janitor ) 99.44% of reprimands are handled in the background, not out in public. Granted, there
have been a few exceptions, (and I mean Very Few exceptions) where a reprimand was issued in a public setting. These "exceptions"
were required when "The Member In Question" refused to acknowledge any PM's or Emails sent to "The Member". The refusal of
communications, lead to the public reprimand.

When any of the Admin Staff posts in an official capacity, that post will always start with the words 'Mod Hat On',
with 'Mod Hat off' at the end of the post.

Uncle Al

[shadowfax]

For the avoidance of doubt, here is a definition of the word "chuffed" when used in Britain by a Brit such as myself or Mouse
Please accept my apologies Mouse if you are not British. We didn't speak for very long at the London Meet Up.

chuffed
(phonetic - chuhft)
Adjective - Chiefly British Informal.

delighted; pleased; satisfied

Example of usage.
We're absolutely chuffed to have won the game.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Source of definition
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/chuffed

[Mouse]

Many thanks shadowfax, I need to remember that this is an international forum. I am indeed a Brit. I should have taken more notice of jamodu’s post where he gave the other terminology for the things he was wearing.

[shadowfax]

Many thanks shadowfax, I need to remember that this is an international forum. I am indeed a Brit. I should have taken more notice of jamodu’s post where he gave the other terminology for the things he was wearing.

You're welcome Mouse.

TBH I wish that the administrators made it compulsory to fill in one's location.

[Mouse]

I have updated my profile to show location. Thanks shadowfax for pointing out the omission.