skirtcafe.org

There are many words that have such negative history that we dare not speak them. The N-word comes to mind. That's how I feel about the word "transvestite". This term has been a way to portray men as mentally ill and dangerous perverts. As someone mentioned in another thread, TVism is in the DSM. So I did a search and found that there is a difference between TVism and men in skirts.
The Merck Manual states: "Transvestism involves recurrent and intense sexual arousal from cross-dressing, which may manifest as fantasies, urges, or behaviors. Transvestic disorder is transvestism that causes significant distress or significant functional impairment."
So what is wrong with this word?
It is weaponized against men.
It goes one way. Women cannot be TVs
There is an element of perversion associated with the term.
Women have been known to feel sexy wearing certain clothes. But society does not label them or judge them.
It is a term that an intolerant society uses against men.
When SkirtCafe started, it was made clear that this was not to be a "tranny" site.
Let's wear skirts without being associated with this ugly word.

Though the derivation of the word simply denotes one gender's clothes worn by the other I agree with you. It has come to mean something different as you describe. I never use it and I describe myself as a cross-dresser. The whole gender identity and arousal and all other trans stuff is for other people. I know I go out in public fully dressed as a woman and using a female name and attempting a voice and body language that correspond to that but it is all acting - at no point do I identify as a woman. The buzz I get is from dopamines, nothing more.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me".
Utter b******t as we all know and this is just one of a countless number.
Steve.

First published in 1899, I hope they are more up to date on their medical stuff.

Ironic that both terms came into being around a similar time.
In the UK cross-dressing or TVism was actually illegal and that is quite separate from the social prejudice.
Here at least, we have progressed a bit since then but will it last?
Steve.

Of course, the best way to make sure something never dies is to "ban it". Upon such action, whatever it is that is being banned seems to gain in popularity.

Face it, people don't like being muzzled, and every time someone tries, they just rip the muzzle off and scream louder. See virtually every single current event PC woke/anti-woke issue for examples of this. And people do love them some martyrs.

Prohibition doesn't work.

Perhaps instead of using terms such as "transvestite" (Latin form) or "crossdresser" (English form) the term "freestyler" needs to be used and the use needs to be encouraged.

John

JohnH wrote: ↑Sun Jul 02, 2023 8:01 pm Perhaps instead of using terms such as "transvestite" (Latin form) or "crossdresser" (English form) the term "freestyler" needs to be used and the use needs to be encouraged.

John

I like that, takes the sex and gender slant out -- at least it reduces us to mere kooks rather than perverts or other negative intonations.

I haven't seen your name for a bit, always glad for your level-headed input. Gracias,

STEVIE wrote: ↑Sun Jul 02, 2023 3:37 pm Ironic that both terms came into being around a similar time.
In the UK cross-dressing or TVism was actually illegal and that is quite separate from the social prejudice.

Can that really have been so? What about the famous Vesta Tilley?https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vesta_Tilley

geron wrote: ↑Mon Jul 03, 2023 4:29 pm Can that really have been so?

There seems to be grey areas when it comes to performers but in essence, yes it was illegal in Scotland for a man to actively try to impersonate a female on the street.
In Aberdeen in the 1970s a very famous local cross dresser who was also a habitual shop lifter was found guilty of contempt of court.
The offence was appearing at the original trial wearing a Marks and Spencer ladies trouser suit.
Further back there was a famous English case https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boulton_and_Park also referred to as Fanny and Stella.
In addition to cross-dressing these two were also male prostitutes and there was a certain political edge to their prosecution too.
Worth noting that when Oscar Wilde was prosecuted for sharing a bed with a 16 year old boy, if it had been a 12 year old girl it would all have been fine.
Changed days, but may we never see a return to them which is not so impossible as it would have seemed a few years ago.
If that happens there will be more to worry about than the terminology.
Steve.

STEVIE wrote: ↑Mon Jul 03, 2023 7:30 pm Further back there was a famous English case https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boulton_and_Park also referred to as Fanny and Stella.

They were charged with conspiracy to commit sodomy, a crime that carried a maximum prison sentence of life with hard labour.

Damn... that kinda puts out modern woes into perspective doesn't it?

I guess it's pretty safe to say.... being denied a wedding cake was the least of their problems...

For me, a Cross-Dresser is one who tries to appear as a woman.

Me I'm just a bearded old guy that prefers to wear women's clothing but makes no effort to look or sound like a woman.

phathack wrote: ↑Mon Jul 03, 2023 10:37 pm For me, a Cross-Dresser is one who tries to appear as a woman.

Me I'm just a bearded old guy that prefers to wear women's clothing but makes no effort to look or sound like a woman.

Me too, and I have also been that cross-dresser.
Just not women's clothes, my clothes!
Steve.

STEVIE wrote: ↑Tue Jul 04, 2023 5:25 am

phathack wrote: ↑Mon Jul 03, 2023 10:37 pm For me, a Cross-Dresser is one who tries to appear as a woman.

Me I'm just a bearded old guy that prefers to wear women's clothing but makes no effort to look or sound like a woman.

Me too, and I have also been that cross-dresser.
Just not women's clothes, my clothes!
Steve.

You are correct steve its My Clothes, I just happened to purchase them from stores catering to Women.

phathack wrote: ↑Mon Jul 03, 2023 10:37 pmFor me, a Cross-Dresser is one who tries to appear as a woman.

This statement is a good start Would this be a better statement

"For me, a Cross-Dresser is one who tries to appear as their opposite sex."

This statement INCLUDES WOMEN in the concept - not only men, as most of the public views the term.

Many will respond with "But pants are designed for women", "Shirts are designed for women"...
Women wearing pants did not occur, in America, until Katharine Hepburn wore them off a movie set
back in the 1940s-50s. During WW2, when women replaced men in the factories, the women wore
pants during their work hours but had to change back into dresses/skirts when leaving the factories.

So by changing 'as a women' - to - 'as their opposite sex' - covers everyone.
(Trying to be "inclusive" here and not leave anyone out of the picture.)

Uncle Al