NSS magazine: Who's actually buying men's skirts?

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STEVIE
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Re: NSS magazine: Who's actually buying men's skirts?

Post by STEVIE »

moonshadow wrote: Mon Jun 12, 2023 4:16 pm I want to see more coverage of average guys that have skirts as part of their casual, "everyday" wardrobe.
Three of us from here covered that base on the 4th of March 2023.
Oh and office formal too!
Faldaguy wrote: Tue Jun 13, 2023 6:16 am Test it, try it against the real rather than imagined experience.
We have and no, it has not all been plain sailing.
To claim otherwise is a barefaced lie and quite misleading for the uninitiated.
The experience will vary with the individual and the environment in which they exist.
In my own case, I have garnered enough skirted hours to actually enjoy myself and have fun with it too.
That did not happen from day one, no imagination just cold hard fact!
Steve.
PS I buy my own clothes, but I have had one or two gifts /hand-me-downs from friends.
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Re: NSS magazine: Who's actually buying men's skirts?

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STEVIE wrote: Fri Jun 16, 2023 7:57 pm
Faldaguy wrote: Tue Jun 13, 2023 6:16 am Test it, try it against the real rather than imagined experience.
We have and no, it has not all been plain sailing.
To claim otherwise is a barefaced lie and quite misleading for the uninitiated.
The experience will vary with the individual and the environment in which they exist.
In my own case, I have garnered enough skirted hours to actually enjoy myself and have fun with it too.
That did not happen from day one, no imagination just cold hard fact!
That rings true in my little world. It's not been easy. In fact, sometimes it's been darned hard!

I've had to rebuff coarse advances from clowns that simply didn't understand and were too dense to behave themselves. I've had to shut down prospective romances that would likely have happened it I "toed the line". I've had to defend myself for merely being me. There are at least two instances where I was on a hair-trigger to possibly kill someone. However, none of that has deterred me.

It's become a very, very lonely walk. But, stride forward is all I can do as I'm not about to simply lie down and die to make the ignorant happy.
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
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Re: NSS magazine: Who's actually buying men's skirts?

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by Faldaguy » Tue Jun 13, 2023 12:16 am

BouffantBelle wrote: ↑Mon Jun 12, 2023 4:23 am

Definitely. Men know what happens when we stand out from the crowd, or at least seems very likely to happen.

I replied:

What is it that 1) "seems"to happen; and 2) what is very likely to happen?

Now: Please test these outcomes against the actual experience of men who do wear skirts in public -- you have a fair bunch of us right here in this forum!

My bet on what has actually happened; 1) zilch other than perhaps your armpits were a bit moist, and 2) None of the feared consequences occurred.

Test it, try it against the real rather than imagined experience.
STEVIE wrote: Fri Jun 16, 2023 7:57 pm
moonshadow wrote: Mon Jun 12, 2023 4:16 pm I want to see more coverage of average guys that have skirts as part of their casual, "everyday" wardrobe.
Three of us from here covered that base on the 4th of March 2023.
Oh and office formal too!
Faldaguy wrote: Tue Jun 13, 2023 6:16 am Test it, try it against the real rather than imagined experience.
We have and no, it has not all been plain sailing.
To claim otherwise is a barefaced lie and quite misleading for the uninitiated.
The experience will vary with the individual and the environment in which they exist.
In my own case, I have garnered enough skirted hours to actually enjoy myself and have fun with it too.
That did not happen from day one, no imagination just cold hard fact!
Steve.
Steve, I will "back-off" on the 'absolute' terms -- those were a mistake :eye: as we all know there is an exception to every 'rule'. To imply there is never any push-back; never any louts; never a boss that says, 'you can't wear that here' is of course absurd. But I do still challenge any of the members to list what their fears were prior to wearing a skirt in public and then weigh that against the actual results. The point being is that our own fears are the primary obstacle to wearing a skirt, other than wives and significant others as discussed at length in many posts (including my own comments to newbies about the primary challenge often being from the S.O or immediate family.

The key sentence eliciting my response, BB wrote: Men know what happens when we stand out from the crowd, or at least seems very likely to happen.

What is it that we KNOW ---or "seems very likely to happen"?

Sure, there have been some looks, comments, and apparently name-calling -- but my reading is that these are isolated instances, and not something that is likely to happen on one's first few ventures out, if ever. By giving that impression and not putting the number of "instances" into perspective, fears are compounded when in most instances, at least as I have read this forum and talked with a few MIS, their fears were essentially unfounded except for the initial butterflies in their stomachs.

Your language seems harsh and unequivocal to the point of implying any man setting out to wear a skirt in public is in for a rough go from the get-go. Note, I said "imply" from the use of "bald-faced lie" which was partially qualified with "experience will vary" as indeed it will -- but my experience, and quite a number from this site have gone from initial fears to wearing their skirts with no significant consequences from the public -- certainly none that would seem to rise to a level that all the newbies should be frightened off. To fret about the consequences of the unknown is natural, to allow any risk to dissuade us from acting is stifling to the human spirit. I hope you had some fears of driving the first time; using a circular saw, going to your first dance or prom or date.... We need to do an honest appraisal of risk and reward.

Your statement-- "It has not all been plain sailing" might be tempered with there are always a few waves in a sailors life, most of which you take in stride, a few are a challenge -- should you forego sailing altogether? We need to balance our fears with the whole picture. One accident in town makes the front page -- but the other 100,000 drivers in town that day are not recorded. I am all for transparency, and my looking glass is still looking pretty clear, light clouds and plenty of sunshine. :)
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Re: NSS magazine: Who's actually buying men's skirts?

Post by ScotL »

Faldaguy wrote: Tue Jun 20, 2023 7:27 am
The point being is that our own fears are the primary obstacle to wearing a skirt,
I agree with this, we are our own worst enemy.

I think one of the reasons for this is we are all different people. We all have to realize that an individual needs to progress at their speed but that that same individual will need encouragement. Push someone too hard and they dig in their heels. Fail to encourage them and they advance at a speed slower than they could’ve otherwise.

We all know and recognize these fears. They exist. They are powerful. They can consume us and stop us right before we step outside in a skirt.

But they can be tamed. At least somewhat from my experience as a newbie.

I liken it to slowly getting into a cold ocean for the first time. You don’t know what it’s like in there and it’s freezing. So you slowly start entering the water, gradually getting the legs used to the cold. I imagine the first true outing where you stumble on friends/family/coworkers that somewhat rebuke you is similar to when the “family jewels” hit the water. Painful and all consuming. But then you get used ti the cold and continue in slowly. Yes, the first time you could’ve just jumped right in and it would’ve gotten you used to the water quicker but you didn’t know that, refused the advice of seasoned swimmers and if you hit a rock or jellyfish and hurt yourself, you might never go in again.

This cafe can and in my opinion should be the encouragement to us all. A place to discuss outings both good and bad. A place free from judgment where we can agree to disagree but agree to debate with civility.
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Re: NSS magazine: Who's actually buying men's skirts?

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by STEVIE » Thu Jun 30, 2022 1:31 pm

Hi Faldaguy

I found it very interesting that you said that you are seen in a school in a skirt but that you have not been emulated by a male student.
My turn to be curious, why do you think this is? In terms of simple tolerance, it sounds quite ideal and the Quaker movement is certainly renowned in this respect

Hi Faldaguy,
The cafe archives are quite a wonderful thing so a year on I'd posit the same question?
My little "gang" has now disappeared, gone on to work or further education I guess.
However, having spoken to a number of parents of teenage kids, the situation is no different to any significant degree.
It rather saddens me to think that there is very little progress since I left school some 50 years ago.
Even worse that the provisions made for transgender kids have been eroded or simply removed but that is a separate issue.
Faldaguy wrote: Tue Jun 20, 2023 7:27 am Your language seems harsh and unequivocal to the point of implying any man setting out to wear a skirt in public is in for a rough go from the get-go.
Harsh and unequivocal was not my intention!
Certainly the innermost fears are very powerful but manageable with time and practice.
Reactions and responses to these will also vary with the individual concerned so I really do believe that downplaying the negatives is helping nobody.
I also feel strongly that if a guy wishes to go publicly skirted, there is no try, there is only do.
The "doing" can be a very difficult and lonely experience too but ultimately the most rewarding as some of us are aware.
We could wrap this in metaphors ad nauseum but there is no single coping mechanism except face the world as you wish it to view you.
Loud and proud in whatever you choose to wear!
I alluded to this in another thread but perhaps the repression of our choices is a factor in the high suicide rates among the male population.
From the "get go" that is the roughest thought of all!
Steve.
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Re: NSS magazine: Who's actually buying men's skirts?

Post by Faldaguy »

Hola Steve,

I have remembered bits of that conversation from a year ago several times, and been disappointed -- in myself, and those about me. I envied your "little group" and what appeared to be a budding conversation in a comfortable zone; and I hoped I might find something similar. Alas, it was not be in 2022, and maybe never. Yes, I still go the to school frequently, though not as much so as before due to Covid and recent travels, so if I'm lucky, an opportunity will yet arise.

I feel too reticent to push the topic of MIS upon a casual audience. I'm trying by example to demonstrate (convince) other men they can wear a skirt in public -- but wearing a sign or even raising the conversation as the only one skirted seems a bit self-centered and not likely to make others feel it is 'natural' if I need to talk about it. I would not openly raise a conversation about other clothing choices ---maybe the women have an answer, but I've not learned it. If you, or others know how we might get a group conversation happening, I'd love to hear it. My hopes that one of the students would raise it in a class to open the door to a discussion has not borne fruit yet.

You are correct that is it a lonely venture out for most of us; and it does come with trepidations. Psychologists will confirm our fears are real, even if the fear never materializes. I am still inclined to believe that rarely do our initial fears about wearing skirts materialize when we do as you succinctly wrote: "there is no single coping mechanism except face the world as you wish it to view you.
Loud and proud in whatever you choose to wear!"

Note: I wrote about a "man" starting out; not a boy, nor any reference to the conditioning we get from the 'get go' (birth) era -- those are vastly more complex. It will be a wonderful day when the DSM includes the omnipresent pressure to conform as a 'harm'!
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Re: NSS magazine: Who's actually buying men's skirts?

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Faldaguy wrote: Thu Jun 22, 2023 6:17 am
I feel too reticent to push the topic of MIS upon a casual audience. I'm trying by example to demonstrate (convince) other men they can wear a skirt in public -- but wearing a sign or even raising the conversation as the only one skirted seems a bit self-centered and not likely to make others feel it is 'natural' if I need to talk about it. I would not openly raise a conversation about other clothing choices ---
I agree with you. Going out in a skirt and making a big stink about the fact I’m wearing a skirt will not help. I believe it will be looked at as weird. Not because I’m wearing a skirt but because I’m being weird about wearing a skirt. I believe the actions of the skirt wearer influence others thoughts on a man in a skirt.

Going out though within a persons comfort zone (or maybe right at the edge of it) and calmly discussing it if someone else brings it up will be helpful in my opinion.
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Re: NSS magazine: Who's actually buying men's skirts?

Post by STEVIE »

Faldaguy wrote: Thu Jun 22, 2023 6:17 am I would not openly raise a conversation about other clothing choices
Hi Right back at you too
In fact, I have never instigated a "discussion" on the topic of my clothing choices.
There have been more than ample times when others have done it for me.
Just so we are clear "loud and proud" is not about creating a spectacle of what I choose to cover my flesh.
It is about living my life as I choose, going about my business and not cowering behind any pretence regarding those choices.
I wear what I wear and you can too, the choice is all down to your own good self.
In the past the women bent society to their way of thinking so men just have to get off their backsides and do exactly the same.
Steve.
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Re: NSS magazine: Who's actually buying men's skirts?

Post by rode_kater »

Faldaguy wrote: Thu Jun 22, 2023 6:17 am I feel too reticent to push the topic of MIS upon a casual audience. I'm trying by example to demonstrate (convince) other men they can wear a skirt in public
Interestingly, I've been thinking along these lines too. In a month or two my mum is coming to visit for a few months and I figure I'm not going to avoid skirts for the whole period she's here, especially if it's going to be a ridiculously hot summer by all accounts.

Somehow I'm anticipating the question "why didn't you say something earlier?" where the only answer I can think of is: would you expect me to let you know if I started wearing jeans (which would be super unusual for me)? Sending a message beforehand just seems silly really. We want it to be normal, so lets treat it as such.
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Re: NSS magazine: Who's actually buying men's skirts?

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Barleymower wrote: Mon Jun 12, 2023 3:20 pm At least the article did not truck out the usual padding of the history of men in skirts and how Harry Styles, Brad Pitt, lil nas x, Robert Pattinson, John Cena are really pushing for it. 🙄 are they? Maybe a dash out for the camera publicity shoot and swiftly back in trousers.
They paint a realistic picture of men liking the idea as long as they are not ones taking the flack.
Some do wear their "kilts" like A$AP Rocky in his leather one (more like a leather pencil with rear slit) and don't give two sh*ts, wheras Brad Pitt knew Germany is more of a receptive audience for skirts as he never dared to wear it again in London. I think it's just the pressure to follow the herd. The article said it is more likely niche, or most guys in these ever increasing temperatures would have ditched shorts for skirts by now :roll:
A life lived in fear is a life half lived ☆☆☆
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Re: NSS magazine: Who's actually buying men's skirts?

Post by Barleymower »

new2skirts wrote: Sun Jun 25, 2023 4:46 pm
Barleymower wrote: Mon Jun 12, 2023 3:20 pm At least the article did not truck out the usual padding of the history of men in skirts and how Harry Styles, Brad Pitt, lil nas x, Robert Pattinson, John Cena are really pushing for it. 🙄 are they? Maybe a dash out for the camera publicity shoot and swiftly back in trousers.
They paint a realistic picture of men liking the idea as long as they are not ones taking the flack.
Some do wear their "kilts" like A$AP Rocky in his leather one (more like a leather pencil with rear slit) and don't give two sh*ts, wheras Brad Pitt knew Germany is more of a receptive audience for skirts as he never dared to wear it again in London. I think it's just the pressure to follow the herd. The article said it is more likely niche, or most guys in these ever increasing temperatures would have ditched shorts for skirts by now :roll:
As a recent convert to skirts, it now seems ludicrous that skirts are for women only. Men sit there in trousers and shorts with their nether regions stuck to their leg saying "you won't catch me in a skirt" I'm not a women!". Women all over this time of year are living in skirts and dresses and thankful for it.
What a weird world in which we live
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