My recommendation (FWIW) is to not push it. It’s clearly a touchy subject with her and she’s gonna dig in against it anytime you try to persuade her.mishawakaskirt wrote: ↑Wed Jun 07, 2023 5:45 am
I've had multiple discussions with her that I'm not in the Gay, trans, questioning box. Nor will I ever be. I live by a strong moral code that tells me that would be going too far.
It doesn't help that in our circle friends, college classmates, friends families, we have seen at least 4 marriages end because one spouse decided to go for a gay relationship.
So it doesn't look good. Nor do my words apparently hold much worth. I have told her I am not them, and don't compare me to them.
So with that and other logical reason that a man should be able to wear skirts. I'm met with a resounding "NO"
So stop trying to persuade her.
Best to just be you and if she drops negative comments, politely tell her you know her feelings on the subject and bring up the playground reflection of “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.” Make sure she realizes her comments hurt you without attacking her.
When a person feels attacked, they go into defense mode. When they’ve hurt another’s feelings, they can feel shame. Even if they don’t vocalize that the first time. Shame is a powerful emotion that causes change especially if the person they’ve hurt is a loved one.
In other words, I think if you make this skirt wearing issue a non issue unless she hurts you with comments, she relaxes. If it’s an issue she feels you focus on it she wants you to drop, and you don’t, it reinforces her hatred of it.
One other trick I learned when dealing with wives. When wearing what you like, make sure you are extra specially nice to her at those times without talking about the skirt. When she knows she’s the center of your world, walls break down