Barleymower wrote: ↑Thu Jan 19, 2023 10:26 pmWhat is masculinity? Like you say Brad Pitt and Harry S have their own brands. Sometimes I think masculinity doesn't exist. It's just exhibitions of strength.
It's vastly more than a simplistic exhibition of strength and force: it's much more nuanced if done correctly. Force and strength have to be moderated with compassion and care to be really effective in anything but outright combat, which few of us find ourselves in on a day-to-day setting. Note that this implies that to be properly masculine one needs to (1) possess such qualities and (2) needs to know how to deploy them. Furthermore, proper masculinity also encompasses
ability which can be either employed or not in any given situation, but usually will be unless the risks are extreme.
Brute force is what is machismo; it takes much more than that to be a proper man -- in any world, not just the present one.
Ability is also key to most men; we need to be able to do things. Sometimes for no reason at all other than to help someone else in a position of need. For instance, I'll be helping a housemate put up curtain rods and hang curtains on them in the coming days because I'm capable of doing it, have the tools, and the talent -- and I expect precisely nothing in return. Similarly, a number of years ago I took a calculated risk and bounded forward to the mast to bring down the mainsail because we'd gotten into a potentially precarious situation and the guy who was already there wasn't up to it. He got ordered aft and back into the cockpit when I raced forward -- in a skirt -- to bring the thing down before we got hit with one Hell of a squall and had nasty rocks to the lee side. Part of being a man is "doing what needs to be done when it needs doing", and I use that as an illustration. (I sat the worst of that out forward. hugging the mast so I'd not go over the side, and waited it out hoping we'd not get hit by lightning.)
Any ass can be macho; it takes a real man to live up to the moniker. The modern definition of "man" tends to the "macho" rather than old-school masculinity. Heed the old notion; it's accurate.
I feel like my own masculine brand has taken a big knock with my skirts. I've been having a tough time of it recently with friends deserting me. Noone says anything (a very English trait) I just dont see or hear from them anymore and I don't know where this will end up. Not alone I hope.
You're likely not alone. However, I have never been accused of being anything other than properly masculine -- and whether I'm wearing a skirt or not has never entered the equation.