Good day to you all

[Dungo]

Well hello.

After a lengthy period hiding behind the potted palm and listening in to cafe patrons I thought time high time I reveal my presence and join the merry throng properly.

I am a married man, early fifties and finally confronting my clothing choices which have long been on the edge of conventional if I let them. I’m located in South Eastern UK and have two teenage children.

Ever since I can remember I have been drawn to the other side of the aisle to some extent, but have largely suppressed the urge by wearing such things as dungarees (overalls for you chaps over the pond), hence my user name. Every so often I have gone further with repeating cycles of buy/try then bin skirts or dresses - they just felt so right but so wrong at the same time. Just before covid struck I spent a period living and working away from home and spent most of my non working hours alone wearing dresses and skirts; it was liberating but of course the opportunity did not last, Being stuck at home with no chance to wear what I truly wanted literally drove me nuts, culminating in a breakdown earlier this year. Lots of counselling and lurking in the cafe have been a huge help since that day, so thank you all for unwittingly helping with my recovery.

So, where am I now? In a potentially tricky place is the answer. I knew all along that my dear wife would struggle to accept full blown skirt and dress wearing because of some unfortunate encounters in her past. I have now accepted who I am rather than trying to fight it, but also decided that my marriage is worth tempering my urges for. I have therefore ended up acquiring a couple of utility kilts (a cheap Asian black generic one and a 5.11 tactical light brown one) which are enough for now. Mrs Dungo is aware of them but has asked me to wear them privately which is fine with me - an hour commute gives me ample opportunity to drive in great comfort, particularly in the current hot weather.

I don’t know where this will end up, but at least until the kids have flown the nest I will keep things in check for the sake of those around me. Hopefully by then the exploits of Brad Pitt, Mark Bryan and others will have changed the landscape, but who knows...

Well, I think that’s quite enough from me for now. If you see a balding bloke around southern England in kilt, Dungarees or Lederhosen (yep that’s another foible of mine) then it could be me. Thank you all again for helping bring me back from a very dark place, and I look forward to joining the chatter in the future.

[Myopic Bookworm]

Good to "meet" you.

Every so often I have gone further with repeating cycles of buy/try then bin skirts or dresses - they just felt so right but so wrong at the same time.

I know what you mean.

I don’t know where this will end up, but at least until the kids have flown the nest I will keep things in check for the sake of those around me.

Good luck! I was lucky in that when I met my wife I was already about six years into a kilt habit (then exclusively Scottish tartan), and the subsequent enthusiasm for Scottish country dancing earned me serious brownie points with the new girlfriend. She has since tolerated my gradual move into plain coloured kilts, then utility kilts, and lately skirts. I don't think she really approves of the dresses, but she's being nice about it. (I'm not sure what she'd make of lederhosen, though I've always fancied trying them.)

[Fred in Skirts]

Welcome to you and be sure to get your self a tea and biscuit, then sit down and enjoy the cafe.
Since you have been hiding behind the potted greenery for a while you pretty much have met the gang.

I am Fred and have been wearing skirts now for over 10 years I live across the big waters to the west of you, in a small southern city. I no longer even own a pair of trousers. So I am always in a skirt or dress.

So once again WELCOME to the cafe!!

[Sinned]

Welcome Dungo and I understand your situation. My wife is partially accepting of my sartorial choices but prefers them to remain in privacy. I don't, of course, she knows I go out in skirts but she chooses not to ask and ignores the fact. I wear other stuff, tops [0] and so on that she accepts. She tried to keep "the knowledge" from my children/grand-children but they all know and have seen me in skirts. Progress has been made but she still kicks off and makes snide remarks at times. Each relationship is different but don't lose hope - the future is not written and baby steps are often more appropriate which I use to push boundaries.

[0] I wear tops with spaghetti straps, tops that one of my grand-daughters has worn and she gave me.

[Faldaguy]

Welcome aboard Dungo,

I hope one of these days you can modify the handle a bit -- maybe those dungarees will be donegone and then....!

I'm glad you found this forum to be of some help in your journey; I think that is indeed one of its merits, as most of us have at least moments of doubt, confusion, or wonder if our preferences are worth the, usually just perceived, challenges they bring.

I am one of the lucky ones -- my wife and I have been known, as another member put it, "to fight" over a skirt -- usually that is just a question of who likes it more or which side of the closet it goes in. She raids my side fairly often, but I'm not as welcome to do the same! She likes some "exclusivity" in her wardrobe and doesn't relish the notion of matching attire either, but we are both in skirts most of the time -- public and private. The usefulness of this story for you, is that she did not start out so fully onboard with me in skirts despite the fact that she and our daughter were a key element in my adaptation of them -- so, keep your fingers, and maybe legs, crossed and you may be delightfully surprised how over time various incidents will bring some of our S.O.'s around.

It does sound like your are now a major step up with the disclosures and 'cooperative understanding' of her preferences (which like our own, are often 'fear' based) -- perceptions in one's own mind of the possible ill consequences, when rarely do any arise in reality. You are also well-placed in that there are quite a few SC members in your neck of the woods for "meet ups", and 'legitimate' places to wear your 'kilts' in public. Good luck with it all, enjoy when and where you can -- and keep reading and posting herein!

Pura Vida,
Faldaguy in Ticolandia

[Dungo]

Thank you for the warm welcome all. I feel at home already, and you lot already know more about me than pretty much anyone else - that feels so good.

If anyone is asking it’s milk and one sugar in my tea and a chocky hobnob if there’s one going free.

I can’t ever see the dungarees being permanently left in the drawer - they have been ‘me’ for over 30 years and counting - in the UK they are pretty unusual for guys, especially shorts versions, but are a ‘fem mainstay’ (if I can say that in here) so that helps my messed up brain feel slightly satisfied. And Mrs D tolerates them which is a bonus.

I have already been out in the 5.11 . The day I got it it went straight on and I immediately went to the pharmacy to pick something up. Predictably a quick pick up turned into a 15 min wait with people coming and going; no adverse reaction that I noticed and it didn’t feel daunting . Oddly enough the fear has increased since that initial plunge into the deep end - I’m sure I will get over it with practice.

[mishawakaskirt]

Thank you for the warm welcome all. I feel at home already, and you lot already know more about me than pretty much anyone else - that feels so good.

If anyone is asking it’s milk and one sugar in my tea and a chocky hobnob if there’s one going free.

I can’t ever see the dungarees being permanently left in the drawer - they have been ‘me’ for over 30 years and counting - in the UK they are pretty unusual for guys, especially shorts versions, but are a ‘fem mainstay’ (if I can say that in here) so that helps my messed up brain feel slightly satisfied. And Mrs D tolerates them which is a bonus.

I have already been out in the 5.11 . The day I got it it went straight on and I immediately went to the pharmacy to pick something up. Predictably a quick pick up turned into a 15 min wait with people coming and going; no adverse reaction that I noticed and it didn’t feel daunting . Oddly enough the fear has increased since that initial plunge into the deep end - I’m sure I will get over it with practice.

Chocky hobnob???

I'm not sure if I have ever heard that term.
If I had to hazard a guess, I would say a chocolate doughnut?

Dungo,

I rather love dungarees ,coveralls or overalls depending on from which part of the planet you originate from.

I'm a closeted skirter, wife objects, and family, friends would most likely object also.

I own and wear a lot bib overalls and shortalls.

Technically I think all of the shortalls came from women's dept. And all of the overalls except two came from the men's dept.
Im not sure why Men don't apparently want to wear shortalls and have to cross over to get them. (I have found men's shortalls, they are very uncommon and usually priced higher than the women's)
So as said I own and wear a mix. Bib Coveralls in the winter and fall, and the bib shortalls in the spring and summer. Wearing outer shorts on the hottest of days. That being said I think I have worn the shortalls 4 out of the 7 days this week
And temps have been in the mid 80s °F this week. At times they were too hot. And wished I had just gone with shorts.
(Skirts would be my first choice)

I typically buy my shortalls 1 to 2 sizes bigger than my size. This allows the shortalls to sort of hang like a dress resting on the shoulders and hanging loose about the waist.
Roomy and comfortable.

I'm a size 20 so I usually seek out a size 22 or 24 to wear.
I do own a pair of size 26 but feel like they are a little bit too big. I still wear them but not usually if I care any about appearance while out and about. Great for a trip to Walmart, but not out for casual dining. I probably look like a little boy trying on his daddy's clothes.

I most likely will never get rid of my coveralls and shortalls.
I would rather get rid of my regular trousers first, which most likely will never happen there is a time and place for everything. Trousers, coveralls, shortalls, shorts, skorts, skirts.

With skirts being the most preferred, but alas Im a male.
And so they get worn the least.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one here that enjoys dungarees in the various forms.

Oh, apple fritter that would be my choice with my tea.

Any other dungaree, coverall, shortalls fans in the cafe????
Put a shout out, and if you decide to try some because of this discussion, remember go minimum a size or two larger. You will like the extra roominess.

[Dungo]

I had a feeling the Hobnob comment would perplex some. It’s an Oat Biscuit (cookie) with chocolate topping and really rather yummy.

https://seelans.com/pub/media/catalog/p ... 114500.jpg

The lack of male shortalls in the USA is quite a surprise to me. One of my pairs ( Pointer Brand) was ordered direct from the US factory a good few years ago and I remember seeing Osh Kosh and Hilfiger versions too - I guess time has marched on since then. ASOS is a good source in the UK at present if anyone else fancies looking like an outsized toddler.

Anyway, must dash. My commute awaits; can’t wait,...

[Bertino56]

Here's a men's short overall at a reasonable price.
https://www.forever21.com/us/shop/catal ... m-overalls
I have a light-wash Blue in Large and I'm about to order myself a Black in X-large.

[Hope]

Ouch! English is full of traps for a poor French speaking guy like me!
As I wasn't sure of my understanding of the posts above, I innocently opened Deepl on my pc and typed "dungaries"! Well, I hope you're not try to wear that, else I can understand your wife!

One letter changes all!

Welcome here, and I agree with you that this forum is very helpful for any of us, and especially for me!

[joking1966]

Ouch! English is full of traps for a poor French speaking guy like me!
As I wasn't sure of my understanding of the posts above, I innocently opened Deepl on my pc and typed "dungaries"! Well, I hope you're not try to wear that, else I can understand your wife!

One letter changes all!

Welcome here, and I agree with you that this forum is very helpful for any of us, and especially for me!

That's funny. C'est la même chose pour apprendre le fraçais. While studying French our class went to a local restaurant run by a lady from Québec. One of my class mates made a hilarious faux pas. For those with no background in French you have to understand that while "breast" can mean both the upper chest and a woman's mammaries, in French they are distinctive words. He ordered Les seins du poulet vs la poutrine de poulet. Basically he asked for chicken boobs.

[Hope]

[Stevej180]

Predictably a quick pick up turned into a 15 min wait with people coming and going; no adverse reaction that I noticed and it didn’t feel daunting . Oddly enough the fear has increased since that initial plunge into the deep end - I’m sure I will get over it with practice.

Welcome Dungo! Much of your story sounded very familiar to me, and the bit above particularly so. I don't know why after venturing out it actually feels MORE daunting not less. Or at least, I think I do know why, but that's another thread.

To your original post about your family... how old are your kids? Mine were 18/20 a couple of years ago when I 'came out' to them. But bearing in mind the huge variety of gender expressions they encounter through their schooling nowadays they were like 'so what?' I may as well have just told them I'd decided I prefer vanilla ice cream to chocolate, such was the shrug of their shoulders. You might be surprised at how the younger generation views these things....

Good to have you in the cafe

[Dungo]

My kids are early teens. One at secondary school and the other about to join them in September. I do think they would be ok but I don’t want to risk exposing them to any kind of schoolyard hassle on my account. Kids can be so cruel to each other at times.

[Myopic Bookworm]

I have made a similar decision, having sons at secondary school and not wearing a skirt in any context where classmates might be present. But as they get into the more senior years I may feel at least a tartan kilt coming on...