Well, I can tell you this, out of all my seven years of wearing skirts, some of them pretty darned feminine, I have only been "ma'amed" about three times, and asked about my pronouns maybe four in total, and I've had hundreds of interactions regarding my choice in dress, so that puts the ratio of people assuming I'm trans or whatnot at less than 1%.
I think the majority of people who stop to think about it probably just assume I have some sort of mental problem. I mean, what kind of man in
his right mind would purposely sacrifice all that white male cis privilege I was born with to become feeeeeemminiiiineeee!? *eeeewww!*
And in point of fact, the anti-trans people mostly do believe that transgender women have a serious mental disorder, so I suppose that's one thing we all share in common, the "nay sayers" all think we're crazy. Maybe we are... I don't know.
At the end of it all, I don't really care if people think I'm homosexual, trans, non-binary, etc. None of that I view as a pejorative anyway. I find no shame in any of it.
My struggle is with the "woke" thingy. And as I've indicated in another recent thread, I don't want to feel like I'm contributing to the culture wars, serving to make ratings for sleazy "news" outlets get politicians elected. I don't know if I'm "woke" or "trans" or whatnot. Those assumptions are assumed on a very biased and somewhat arbitrary basis so I really try not to pay mind to what people may think. The only thing I know for sure is my sexuality, or what I'm attracted to, and that is a matter I've never felt the need to discuss openly outside of my wife and those in my extreme inner circle (as in those I live with). Outside of that, it's really none of anyone else's business.
I love embracing my inner femininity. Not just in clothes but in all matters traditionally considered "feminine". This is not to say that I've abandoned my masculinity, rather I view my gender as an all you can eat buffet, and I just like to fill my plate.... that's all. I don't go around telling people I'm a woman, and I'm certainly
not of the female sex. But for my entire life I have put off a feminine vibe to the point of being bullied and teased for it by just about everyone I came into contact with growing up. In school many children called me "sissy" for the way I was, and I've never had much luck with finding romantic girlfriends, but most friends I had were girls, very few were boys.
I understand my situation is likely not the one of the majority here at the cafe, and it is possible I may find more kindred spirits on some "non-binary" or even transgender forum out there, but I hang out here because I like the active members here and consider each of you friends... yes even the ones I've tussled with on occasion. I enjoy my time here.
Anyway, I really didn't get to explore this side of me until I moved far away from family and my hometown. It is no coincidence that I started exploring skirts shortly after my move two hours away from my nearest family, and four hours from my hometown. My family, especially on my fathers side is VERY macho, males had better act like men and female "tomboys" are celebrated. I was chastised often for my interest in flowers, dolls, pretty things, even the way I held my flatware when I would eat.
So, while I don't really run with a LGBTQ+ group, nor do I really involve myself actively in the community, I don't have any hangups if folks want to associate me in that group. The fact is, I'm a complicated guy and really can't be labeled in any simple way. I'm just me. My feminine side is a light that for too long has been stifled by the world I lived in. No more. It's not something I'm ashamed of, it's something I'm proud of, and when I feel I'm free to openly express it, I feel wonderful and beautiful inside and out.