Queering the cishet
Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2020 6:48 am
Translated from a Dutch website:
Queering the cishet
May 6, 2020 Editorial Staff 0 Comments Opinion
A kilt is still there, but a cishet * man wearing a skirt? You hardly see that. Where nowadays women are allowed to wear both skirts and pants, after a fierce and years of (and not yet fought) struggle by the feminists, the man is left behind. Time to share the skirt!
Cishet man least gender free
The cishet has a lot to learn from queers. And men have a lot to learn from women. With regard to gender freedom, the cishet man is at the bottom. Cishet men are very trapped in an internalized image of what a cishet man should be, do, find, and that is very difficult to let go. Especially since it is constantly repeated among themselves, and the world is only too happy to confirm some of these characteristics as typically cishet male.
Advantage of gender freedom
Where the adult woman has much more gender freedom than, for example, the 60s, this is not the case for the adult man. There has been some shift in recent years. A "manpurse" (handbag) is more and more accepted, for example. But the cishet (man) is still very much locked in gender-specific rules: anger is the only emotion allowed, the pressure to bear a family financially alone is still there, and a 'real man' would never put on a skirt.
Time to share the skirt
What is a skirt? It is a piece of cloth that you put on. In many cultures it is only normal for a cishet man to wear a skirt: the Islamic culture, for example, knows the kandora for the man, the sarong can be worn by both men and women, and of course there is the well-known kilt.
Yet you will not easily see a (cishet) man in a skirt in the Netherlands. Or someone who comes across as a man to the environment, because I have worn skirts myself before, but I don't wear them anymore, even though I really enjoy wearing skirts. But it just doesn't feel right now.
Skirt is more than a piece of clothing
Why is it so complicated to wrap a skirt for someone who is not into femininity? Because the skirt represents more than the piece of fabric it is. As the kandora is not for "women", a skirt is not for "men". When we see or think of a skirt in the Netherlands, we think of femininity. A version of sexy that is only for "women".
Because this is so in our culture, we have internalized all of this: we have mastered it so deeply that it has been burned into our brain, as it were. And that is very difficult to get out again! We sincerely believe, to the very core, that a skirt has something to do with femininity.
Queering the cishet
Rationally it may seem easy: if you want to wear a skirt, don't you? But you have to be ready for it yourself: letting go of those internalized ideas really takes a lot of training. And, after that you have to be able to deal with society that has not had that training. Often people, especially Cishet people, do not see the benefit of that training.
This while a cishet also has a great advantage in "queering" himself. Making the thoughts and patterns a little more gender-free. Gender is allowed, and everyone can find their own choice and way, even if it is unwise gender-specific. Because what we call gender-specific is just one of the many flavors out there.
Cishet men (gender) freely through life
However, the Cishet people, and especially the men, still have a long way to go before they can also live a more gender-free life. Less restrictions, fewer prescribed emotions, and pressure to do what you think you should do, but do what suits you, as a cishet man. Everyone can help with that. In other words, it's time to share the skirt!
Queering the cishet
May 6, 2020 Editorial Staff 0 Comments Opinion
A kilt is still there, but a cishet * man wearing a skirt? You hardly see that. Where nowadays women are allowed to wear both skirts and pants, after a fierce and years of (and not yet fought) struggle by the feminists, the man is left behind. Time to share the skirt!
Cishet man least gender free
The cishet has a lot to learn from queers. And men have a lot to learn from women. With regard to gender freedom, the cishet man is at the bottom. Cishet men are very trapped in an internalized image of what a cishet man should be, do, find, and that is very difficult to let go. Especially since it is constantly repeated among themselves, and the world is only too happy to confirm some of these characteristics as typically cishet male.
Advantage of gender freedom
Where the adult woman has much more gender freedom than, for example, the 60s, this is not the case for the adult man. There has been some shift in recent years. A "manpurse" (handbag) is more and more accepted, for example. But the cishet (man) is still very much locked in gender-specific rules: anger is the only emotion allowed, the pressure to bear a family financially alone is still there, and a 'real man' would never put on a skirt.
Time to share the skirt
What is a skirt? It is a piece of cloth that you put on. In many cultures it is only normal for a cishet man to wear a skirt: the Islamic culture, for example, knows the kandora for the man, the sarong can be worn by both men and women, and of course there is the well-known kilt.
Yet you will not easily see a (cishet) man in a skirt in the Netherlands. Or someone who comes across as a man to the environment, because I have worn skirts myself before, but I don't wear them anymore, even though I really enjoy wearing skirts. But it just doesn't feel right now.
Skirt is more than a piece of clothing
Why is it so complicated to wrap a skirt for someone who is not into femininity? Because the skirt represents more than the piece of fabric it is. As the kandora is not for "women", a skirt is not for "men". When we see or think of a skirt in the Netherlands, we think of femininity. A version of sexy that is only for "women".
Because this is so in our culture, we have internalized all of this: we have mastered it so deeply that it has been burned into our brain, as it were. And that is very difficult to get out again! We sincerely believe, to the very core, that a skirt has something to do with femininity.
Queering the cishet
Rationally it may seem easy: if you want to wear a skirt, don't you? But you have to be ready for it yourself: letting go of those internalized ideas really takes a lot of training. And, after that you have to be able to deal with society that has not had that training. Often people, especially Cishet people, do not see the benefit of that training.
This while a cishet also has a great advantage in "queering" himself. Making the thoughts and patterns a little more gender-free. Gender is allowed, and everyone can find their own choice and way, even if it is unwise gender-specific. Because what we call gender-specific is just one of the many flavors out there.
Cishet men (gender) freely through life
However, the Cishet people, and especially the men, still have a long way to go before they can also live a more gender-free life. Less restrictions, fewer prescribed emotions, and pressure to do what you think you should do, but do what suits you, as a cishet man. Everyone can help with that. In other words, it's time to share the skirt!
I think the more straight jeans style skirts may gain traction before more graceful A-lines. Pockets would be good but would affect the way the garment hangs. Seeing the way men are virtually wearing "Jeggings" (denim style leggings) in the ultra slim fit jeans that are popular, perhaps skirts will be seen as an alternative. No headlines in the UK this year about males wearing skirts to work or school (but perhaps due to most stuff being closed due to Coronavirus)...
