skirtcafe.org

I've been lurking on the forum for a little bit and finally thought it was time to say hi. I just recently got interested in wearing skirts though some part of me has always liked different aspects of women's clothing. I'm still trying to figure things out, so I'm not public about my interest yet. I joined mainly to see how other guys present themselves in skirts and get inspiration.

Hello, and welcome!

It's interesting to hear of someone for whom skirt-wearing is a relatively new interest. How did that happen?

Well, even though I have no aversion to wearing women's clothing it never occurred to me that men could wear skirts and present as a man. I guess my only exposure to men in skirts are transvestites or men who wear women's clothing and want to present a female look. So I never seriously considered skirts as an option for a man. What started to change my opinion was seeing some of Marc Jacob's looks.

Hi, jc.33, and welcome to the board.

I'm not sure what you mean by, "how other guys present themselves in skirts." Do mean how do they find the courage, or how they dress?

If it's courage, you just have to do it. The first time is by far the hardest. Pick an outfit and a location you're comfortable with and jut do it, even if it's just buying something at a convenience store during slack hours.

If you mean how we dress, there are photos scattered through all the boards, but especially Pics and Looks. In addition, you may enjoy these sites:

https://www.flickr.com/groups/2192039@N22/ (2518 photos)

http://lookbook.nu/collections/976934-men-in-skirts (624 photos)

Caultron, it's a mix of both of what you said. Confidence is very much spoken about here of which I am lacking. I'm very much an introvert so finding the courage to go against the grain is very out of my comfort zone.

jc.33 wrote:Caultron, it's a mix of both of what you said. Confidence is very much spoken about here of which I am lacking. I'm very much an introvert so finding the courage to go against the grain is very out of my comfort zone.

First Welcome to the Skirt Cafe!!

Confidence comes from doing, so to get the confidence you must first try to do that in which you need to build the confidence. If you have a skirt wear it first around the house so that it becomes a "normal" thing for you. Then go out to the mail box after dark if need be the in daylight. Then when you have become comfortable with that try a drive around with no stops slowly add a stop at a convenience store that is not crowded, from there it is all easy sliding.

Fred

jc.33 wrote:Caultron, it's a mix of both of what you said. Confidence is very much spoken about here of which I am lacking. I'm very much an introvert so finding the courage to go against the grain is very out of my comfort zone.

Step one is probably to get used to the idea yourself. Go to a thrift store and buy a few skirts in whatever styles you're interested in, They'll probably cost about $5 each. If you don't know your size. either use the fitting rooms or bring a tape measure and measure the shirt inside the waist. LIke, if you wear size 34 pants, look for a skirt that measures about 17 inches from side to side inside the waist.

Shopping will probably be nervy at first, as if you're not supposed to be in the woman's department. If so, it may help to have a cover story ready. That way, in the unlikely event that someone asks you, "What are you doing in the women's department?" you can answer, "My wife isn't feeling well but asked me to pick something up for her," or, "My girlfriends wants some grungy clothes for her birthday," or whatever.

As to the fitting room, just use the same one you'd use for a pair of shorts. No one is going to pay much attention to whatever garments you have under your arm. But if that's too much, just buy a few different sizes, take them home, and return the ones that don't fit.

Just wearing a skirt might seem odd at first, and looking in the mirror might convince you that you look ridiculous. But just keep it up and get used to the feel of it and after a while it'll start to seem more normal.

It may help just to look at photos of men in skirts. I'm not talking about men impersonating women (usually with terrible results) but about men wearing a skirt of kilt and still looking male from the waist up. Even those photos may seem strange for a while but eventually you'll get past it. It may also help you choose your style.

If all you can do is go outside in the back yard at night, do that. Then, after you're convinced the world didn't end, try the front yard at night or in the early morning. Take out the trash, or pick up the paper, or something. You'd do it in a robe and a skirt's not much different.

Buying gas or picking up a convenience store item seem to be popular first experiences, perhaps some distance from home. When you become convinced there won't be any fashion police, black helicopters, or circles of people pointing and laughing, graduate to longer and longer outings with more and more people around.

The first skirt I wore in public was a utility kilt, and I wore it to a tattoo convention, which had the advantage of being a fairly countercultural place anyway. There's just a lot of freaky people walking around looking at all the other freaky people. But if that's not your interest, perhaps another countercultural event would do: an art show, a comicon, a rock concert, or something like that.

Just keep at it.

Here's the strange part. Im not that self conscious about buying women's clothes. I like to work out in compression tights and have shopped in the women's section for leggings before. This week I even went out picked up about 9 different skirts mostly at Goodwill. I had 3 female clerks and one male. The male was the coolest one which was weird because I'm most nervous with male clerks.

You're right about finding my style which I hope to do here with all the inspiration.

Another thing I can't grasp my head around. I think I'd be fine in a kilt being a male specific skirt, but wearing a "female" skirt gives me pause. Not sure what my hang up is.

jc.33 wrote:...I think I'd be fine in a kilt being a male specific skirt, but wearing a "female" skirt gives me pause. Not sure what my hang up is.

I felt the same way for a couple of years. For me, it was the idea that a kilt was a male garment that came in men's sizes.

But eventually I got tired of wearing the same style every day. So now I wear a-lines and pencil skirts too, although still knee-length.

Http://www.utkilts.com is a good site for getting started. My favorite now, though, is http://www.altkilt.com.

jc.33 wrote:Caultron, it's a mix of both of what you said. Confidence is very much spoken about here of which I am lacking. I'm very much an introvert so finding the courage to go against the grain is very out of my comfort zone.

JC: I'm very much like you but like others have said, the first time is the most difficult. I probably wore a skirt out for the first time about five years ago and it was at night. Then I started wearing in the hallways of my apartment building with occasional ventures out to the sidewalk to pick up my newspapers. My big moment came last July when I wore a skirt to walk a mile across town to an event where pianos were placed around the Arboretum with people walking by invited to play when they weren't being played by a scheduled person. I gained enough confidence from that first outing that I repeated it the following Sunday. Since then it's been pretty much skirts full time on weekends and about six or eight times at work (most recently last Friday). It just get easier and does wonders for reducing your shyness.

Stuart, Thanks for the reply. I'm sick of being shy and agree that exposure to difficult/uncomfortable situations definitely help reduce future anxiety. It's really nice that everyone here is so supportive which has been encouraging me to participate more instead of defaulting to my standard lurking behavior.

Caultron wrote: https://www.flickr.com/groups/2192039@N22/ (2518 photos)

When I use this link I get "You have reached a private group".

jc.33 wrote:Caultron, it's a mix of both of what you said. Confidence is very much spoken about here of which I am lacking. I'm very much an introvert so finding the courage to go against the grain is very out of my comfort zone.

Sounds familiar. Lots of good advice in this thread. For myself, having a supportive partner was important, from there a few times out late/early, a trip to the coast where I wore skirts for about a week with no negative reactions, gave me taste for the comfort advantages. I asked if I could wear them at work, and was given an enthusiastic Yes! But still held off. What did it for me, was looking at a co-worker wearing some very short shorts, pretty tight fitting as well. Partly envy, partly "what the hell am I being shy about?" went to the locker room, changed and came back onto the floor. Whoo! Adrenaline! Kept a cool demeanour and just behaved as if it was perfectly normal... and it was. Basically fake it till you make it.

I will tell you that I was like you, shy, introverted, not a huge amount of confidence. That's changed, but I do still get little hiccups in that when I try something new.

Hello jc.33 and welcome to the forum.

I cannot add to the advice already given but simply agree that confidence comes from doing. I read a book once about face your fears.

I have worn skirts for years but went public in 2011. My first outing was very nervous even adopting face your fears. It does not take long to gather momentum and it becoming normal. Each new event will be like the original first but each one gets easier. It will come, trust yourself, believe in yourself.

I will not say you will not encounter negativity, you will. The secret is to note that it is the minority, a small minority. Virtually all pass by or engage with you as if you had male labelled clothing on. A number of these will give a moments look, but remember you are different to the majority of men. Don't we all look when we see something different for a moment and carry on with what we were doing. It is a small minority who will stare with disdain, giggle or make it known you are odd in their eyes, and when I say small I mean small minority. It is all down to perception. You will get far more positive looks and actually positive comments. If you encounter that small minority, ignore them, shoulders back, head high and pursue you objective and say to yourself I have just brightened up their sad life.

It did not take me long to adopt skirts in public in all aspects. Only where the task in hand makes trousers more sensible are they put on. I hardly wear clothes labelled as mens wear on the top half of my body as well when I wear skirts. I embrace freedom of choice and expression preferring to wear clothes of character and personality rather than the dull and boring greyscale mens clothes. Why not have full fun and enjoyment.

You will get good advice on this forum but at the end of the day it is only you that can pursue what you want to do. Remember a man in a skirt is no different to women in trousers. A man who raids the female clothing wardrobe is no different to women who now adopt the whole of the male wardrobe.

All the best

partlyscot wrote:...Basically fake it till you make it...

For sure, sincerity's the key. If you can fake that you've got 'em by the balls.