Have you been spotted in social medias by others who know yo

[robert]

This is the first tread I start in here. I have a question to you all. First I will explain some background info, and I hope I don’t scare others to make their first steps out in their skirts. Believe me, it is worth it.

Some times when I am out in my skirts or dresses there are someone who will pick up their smart phone and take a picture. I usually try to avoid it at least so my face doesn’t show. From time to time I try to look through twitter, Instagram and google for tags I may be put under. I am not open to everybody of what I do, but a lot of my friends know, my sister knows and some people where I work know. I have a few times seen a picture of me or someone commenting on my activities on social medias. The comments are often positive by the way. I can attach one of these pictures I have found. It is the one taken of me from behind while shopping.

Almost two years ago it was the constitutional day and a lot of people were out celebrating. I was out for the hole day in my traditional national costume that is very popular for women to use. As usual I am still a man no matter how I dress and I don’t try to avoid it so if someone that knows me and sees me they will recognize me immediately. I had a great time, but two days later I got a call from a friend and former colleague. His sister that I work close with had seen a picture of me from that day on her facebook page because one of her friends had posted it. He had met me before like this, but his sister didn’t know. She had called him and asked. Her friend that posted this had several common friends with me and several persons I work with so they may also have seen this picture. I called her and talked to her. I knew she would be ok with it, but she was concerned that it could get out at work if I didn’t want to share this. We ended up having a nice conversation about this, and I am glad she knows. She called her friend that removed the picture and she felt silly for what she did. I was pretty nervous the next weeks if the word was out at work, but I have never heard anything about it later. If the word had spread I know I would have heard about it from the ones that already knows.

My questions to you all are. Have you ever found a picture of your self taken by someone you don’t know? Have these picture ever been seen by someone you know or have you been outed even though you didn’t wanted it?

Thank you for reading.

[Jim]

Have you ever found a picture of your self taken by someone you don’t know?

No. I wouldn't mind though.

[dillon]

I wouldn't know since social media has been an easy fad for me to resist. I've never been interested in broadcasting my life to the world, so I'm not on there looking for myself.

[moonshadow]

No, but I'm pretty sure I'm out there, as I've turned and caught several people taking cell phone shots of me when skirted.

As far as being outed at work, it's probably more likely that I will be spotted by a co-worker while out and about rather than a co-worker happening upon a random facebook image of me. And when THAT day comes.... I'll be all over the local facebook circuit I'm sure. I can think of a few co-workers in particular that would about trip over their selves to broadcast a picture of me in a dress or skirt to the world.

It's not a question of if, it's a question on when. I personally dread the experience, but I plan to just play it cool. Eventually it will fizzle out, and I'll just be known as "that strange employee that crossdresses".

But for the technically savvy, there is no reason for one to wait to see me in person, a google search of my legal name results in my website, and google+ account, and flickr, complete with lots of skirt shots of me. For all I know, all of my co-workers already know, they just don't care to say anything.

[crfriend]

It's not a question of if, it's a question on when. I personally dread the experience, but I plan to just play it cool. Eventually it will fizzle out, and I'll just be known as "that strange employee that crossdresses".

This is the biggest reason -- by far -- that I espouse being "out there" in the wide wild world, and "out there" absolutely in the open: it zeroes out the potential for blackmail. No threats are possible if everything is common knowledge, and it also puts one in a position of strength right from the get-go: "What do you mean, 'you didn't know'?"; it's not exactly like I keep this any sort of secret! Heck, I've been in the store here so attired, and everybody knows it.

Hiding in the shadows, on the other hand, confers much advantage to one's potential detractors.

If you're going to dare to be different, then dare with courage and panache!

Have I "been spotted"? i'm sure that there are shots of me floating about the likes of Farcebook and any number of other "outlets". So what. My friends all know; my family knows; the folks at work know -- everybody that matters knows (even if they may not all exactly agree with me) -- so if something shows up, we can all laugh about it.

[Caultron]

Occasionally someone will ask if it's OK to take my picture and so far, at least, I've always said, "OK."

Sometimes I've asked what they're going to do with the photo but they just answer, "Oh, I just want to have it," or some such line, which I presume isn't true, so more and more I don't even ask.

I've also been photographed without permission by people who think I'm not looking. And I never rush up and ask them to delete it while I watch or any such thing because...

I presume I've also been photographed by people I haven't noticed, and I can't stop that, so why worry about it?

I mean, I'm already in public, which pretty much means I'm OK with people seeing me as I am. The fact that they see me by photograph really isn't any different.

[moonshadow]

This is the biggest reason -- by far -- that I espouse being "out there" in the wide wild world, and "out there" absolutely in the open: it zeroes out the potential for blackmail. No threats are possible if everything is common knowledge, and it also puts one in a position of strength right from the get-go: "What do you mean, 'you didn't know'?"; it's not exactly like I keep this any sort of secret! Heck, I've been in the store here so attired, and everybody knows it.

Exactly. If it ever comes up in the natural flow of conversation I don't plan to hide or deny it. So far every time any thing relating to men wearing anything from the women's rack comes up in conversation, it always gravitates to discussion on transgendered people, as that's what's dominating the news these days.

Since I don't consider myself transgendered, I don't want to mix my skirt story in with those political discussions at work.

A more comfortable discussion starter would be a coworker discussing comfortable hiking attire, or even a complaint about "tight pants" could easily be steered into why I wear skirts. "Yeah, I don't like tight pants around my groin either... that's why I don't wear any when I'm off".

"You don't wear pants? What do you wear then?"

...and so it begins.

I've also been photographed without permission by people who think I'm not looking. And I never rush up and ask them to delete it while I watch or any such thing because...

I presume I've also been photographed by people I haven't noticed, and I can't stop that, so why worry about it?

Actually, in public it's perfectly legal to be photographed. There is nothing anyone can do to stop it. So when the camera is facing your direction... SMILE!
Well, except for upskirts... you can't take a photograph up someone's skirt. That might get you in trouble. Not sure about taking a public photograph up your own skirt.

Of course, while photographing an angry street mob may be legal.... prepare to have your expensive camera smashed. Of course assaulting someone for taking a photo is illegal... but it's not going un-smash your $800 camera.

[Caultron]

...Not sure about taking a public photograph up your own skirt...

Probably would 't get you arrested, probably would get you comitted.

[Disaffected.citizen]

This is the biggest reason -- by far -- that I espouse being "out there" in the wide wild world, and "out there" absolutely in the open: it zeroes out the potential for blackmail. No threats are possible if everything is common knowledge, and it also puts one in a position of strength right from the get-go: "What do you mean, 'you didn't know'?"; it's not exactly like I keep this any sort of secret! Heck, I've been in the store here so attired, and everybody knows it.

Hiding in the shadows, on the other hand, confers much advantage to one's potential detractors.

I was openly wearing, so fairly certain there are pictures out in the public domain, but didn't disclose to my ex-wife (doubtful she'd actually find them, so low risk). Partly because it was none of her business, but partly also because she (despite professing libertarian and liberal personal freedoms) is actually horrendously bigoted; and I was fairly certain would use it against me from seeing my child.

My new partner "openly embraced" my fashion freedom as I was honest before entering the relationship, but wanted to introduce it "carefully". Little did I know she was actually going to use it to abuse me. When I finally escaped she told all (but also twisted it); I didn't see my child for almost a year (partly because of my mental state and partly because my ex-wife believed the new ex, despite knowing deep down the truth) and now have only day visits.

Another part of the reason that abuse was able to manifest itself was isolation. Extended family, despite what they said, have never attempted to contact me in over 25 years; I always called them to check on health and socially but heard nothing from them week by week, month by month etc; but they contacted everyone else as my brother would mention to me. And, despite the espoused libertarian views of "friends", once it became known I wore a skirt the "friends" ceased returning calls and it became clear I was persona non grata. I was less afraid of the world at large than me "nearest and dearest"! Turned out they were neither "near" nor "dear".

[skirted_in_SF]

I have no idea and since I don't do social media, it isn't going to be through a posting by me.
What bothers me is if a family member posts a picture of me with my name, facial recognition used by some sites may assign my name to pictures posted by strangers. That said, I've never noticed anyone taking my picture where my face would show (or not). Wearing my skirts on weekends has become a routine and I don't look for/notice the reactions of others.

[Fred in Skirts]

Since I wear skirts all of the time in public I must have my image floating around the Internet some where. Does it bother me He!! no. I just don't care.

Fred

[Caultron]

...Another part of the reason that abuse was able to manifest itself was isolation. Extended family, despite what they said, have never attempted to contact me in over 25 years; I always called them to check on health and socially but heard nothing from them week by week, month by month etc; but they contacted everyone else as my brother would mention to me. And, despite the espoused libertarian views of "friends", once it became known I wore a skirt the "friends" ceased returning calls and it became clear I was persona non grata. I was less afraid of the world at large than me "nearest and dearest"! Turned out they were neither "near" nor "dear".

That's an extraordinary amount of rejection. Something else is probably going on.

But if it's gone on that long, screw 'em. You have to be yourself.

[Pdxfashionpioneer]

I don't know of anyone posting a picture of me while I was in a skirt on social media.

As I said in one of my posts, I wore a dress to a celebration of life and ran into some professional friends. So far, nothing bad has come of it and I don't expect anything will.

Most of the comments I get at church (yes I still get plenty), beyond how nice my outfit or I look, speak to the courage I show or how glad they are that I feel comfortable to wear what I like amongst them. There was a very mainstream-looking family sitting in front of me this Easter Sunday (Dad in a suit and tie, Mom and the teenage daughters all in nice conservative dresses) whom I had never seen before (it is Easter afterall). I have to admit, it kind of spooked me until we got to the passing of the peace and they were as warm, gracious and welcoming as anyone else. (OK, I hug most of the women I know and didn't hug any of them, but otherwise ... )

When I first talked to my daughter and her husband, Jeff, of my intention to incorporate skirts and dressers into my wardrobe, his reaction was very supportive. He told me I should be who I am and that he wanted his daughter (my granddaughter) to see me in my skirts and dresses, though he wanted to see what I looked like first. His reasoning was that life is full of people who do things that are even further from the norm than men wearing skirts. He expects that trend will go even further and he wants his little girl to learn that a person can be different from the norm and still be a good, lovable person!

As has been said often, people who really know and like you will find some way to accept your sartorial choices. The expression "one excuse is as good as another" was coined for the kind of people who will reject you over this set of choices.

[denimini]

Probably; if you are in public then you are really out in the public domain and what goes with it. I am quite anti social, electronically, so I don't know and don't care. It is a good filter to sort out real friends from the not so real.

[Couya]

I espouse being "out there" in the wide wild world, absolutely in the open...
If you're going to dare to be different, then dare with courage and panache!

Exactly how I feel, Carl.
So I continue, as I have for years, wearing kilt and skirts, in spite of one or two friends telling me I really should get myself some trousers! We are still good friends, by the way.

Living in a tourist area, where everyone is wandering around camera in hand, snapping at everything in sight, I must have been captured more than once, but have never seen myself on the net. ! I really would like to see myself as others see me, but I suppose I am just no longer photogenic, certainly not enough to make a mark.

I use Facebook, where I find all sorts of interesting thing to read (current affairs, science and technology; it's not all just chitchat), keep up with my daughter's family, and see films and photos of interesting places and events.
There are consequently a number of pictures that I have posted there myself, so it should not be a surprise when anyone first meets me unbifurcated. Except, of course, that skirted men are still so very rare, they will cause surprise wherever they go !

Martin