skirtcafe.org

Hello everybody!

I have just joined this community after I have been a reader for a long time. English is not my native language and I am from Scandinavia, so please excuse my language if it isn’t correct all the time.

I thought for a long time that this forum would not accept my membership, and I will try to explain why. I have always defined myself as a crossdresser. The reason for this is because I love to wear skirts and dresses. To me this defined the term crossdresser. If you try to be a woman when you dress, I define that as transgendered. I have understood that many of you here on the board have another definition. I never try to be anyone else than myself, and I always present as a man because I am a man also inside no matter what clothes I wear. I don’t want to look like a woman. I don’t change my name or act different when I dress, and I never wear a wig or makeup. After I discovered the freestyle section in this forum I finally realized that I may belong here as well.

Today I am 41 years old. I started dressing only five years old in my sisters clothes. I almost always hid it well. For me it is important to get outside. In my early youth I went outside in the woods because there no one I knew would see me. Anyway, I could feel the skirt to my legs as I walked outside. Later I went out at night after finishing my route as a paperboy. I had a great childhood and youth and participated in a lot of activities like the other boys did. I always knew I liked skirts and dresses but always kept it a secret.

I began to travel far away and walked around in other cities in my skirts. Because I needed so much time to prepare these trips it was quite seldom. The lesson I learned was that it wasn’t a problem to go around dressed like this. With time I have become more and more brave and eventually started to go out to places closer to where I lived. About ten years ago I told some of my friends about my activities, and join theme sometimes dressing as I want. Still there is some of my friends and family that don’t know I do this. I have told quite a few, so I really don’t know how many have spread the word. Anyway, nothing has changed my relationship after I told them. Today I go out in my own town dressed as I please. I know there is a risk I can meet someone who shouldn’t know, but I need to take that risk to be able to live my life. I understand that someday I will meet someone I know that doesn’t know of this, but I will deal with it then.

I am living with my girlfriend for more than five years and told her only a few weeks into our relationship about what I do. It was really rough and hard for her, but we have now agreed on that she doesn’t want to see me dressed, and she asks me please to stay away from our neighbourhood when I dress. I respect that, but I constantly want our agreement to expand further. I keep my clothes in my closet and wash theme together with our ordinary clothes, so there is no hiding for her. We seldom talk about it. It is only the way I am. I love her very much and really hope it will get easier for her.

I am hoping to participate in this forum. I have to thank you all, because after reading a lot of your stories about going out, I have pushed my limits for what I can achieve too. Maybe my future stories can help someone else to get their skirts out so the world can see them.

Thank you for reading, and I look forward to get to know you all.

Welcome robert! I think that there are several here who have felt as you did. I used to think of myself as a crossdresser as well. I didn't have any other way of thinking about it, back then. The guilt and shame, along with limited information means we don't talk about it. Crossdressing is not wrong, and there should be no shame, but many of us do not live in worlds we can be open about it. I no longer identify as such, but I understand that some may think of me in that way. I am fortunate that when I told my soon to be Girlfriend, she was totally accepting, and this enabled me to actually look at what I wanted from it. Now, I am happy to be simply wearing skirts where and when I want. Some people still don't know, but that's just because I haven't seen them since I started wearing them full time.

Your English seems pretty good!

It's nice to meet you, Robert, and to hear your story.

The word "crossdresser" tends to be sensitive here because we each have our own definition of what it means and our own feelings about whether it's acceptable or bad. Some, even though they often wear skirts and other traditionally-feminine garments, apparently have a negative opinion of crossdressers and so prefer a definition that doesn't include them. But my advice is that it's all just semantics and so don't get wrapped into it (so to speak).

As to going out in public, most here do, and so I our support makes it easier to live your desires.

Robert,
Thanks for taking the time to write your introduction (your English is much better than my Scandinavian!). I am 61 at the moment and have worn skirts (rather than kilts) for 7-8 years - kilts for about 10 years. Being Scottish, we have a bit of an obvious head-start on men wearing "skirts" though I know many Scots take issue with that ("it's a kilt, not a skirt" they will say but it is really just a specific type of skirt).

I have similar "dificulties" with my wife who has no desire to be seen with me wearing a skirt. Nor even in the house. I have gradually (perhaps too gradually) let more folk know and see me in a skirt. Recently (just before Xmas 2015) I started wearing skirts to work (professional office). Like you for those I have told or work with have no issues. Very recently (just over a week ago in fact), I met my sister whilst wearing a knee-length black skirt and she absolutely LOVED it!

I do curling and after the ice matches, I often change into a skirt so most of them there know, though some of them occasionally roll their eyes a bit. My golf mates are generally unaware of my skirts (though a few years back, one of them has seen me in a denim miniskirt whilst I was walking to my car). He hasn't said anything about that and we are still mates!

Also like yourself, I started wearing skirts in places I would not normally go or at a good distance away but now wear skirts to local shops and supermarkets - no comments though a few big generous smiles and more helpful shop assistants is a bonus.

I look forward to hearing more form you - and you will fit in fine here as you (like almost all of us here) wish to remain as men and not go for the complete makeover with wigs, falsies etc regardless of what actual "definition" you wish to use.

For myself, the definition of crossdresser, is one who dresses completely as a woman either to LOOK exactly like a woman or to simply being a fellow "in drag". After all, never have I heard of a woman being described as a crossdresser regardles of whether she is just wearing trousers or a full "power suit" complete with with white shirt and tie and men's shoes.

Ross

Hello Robert,

I think you'll fit right in here. Regarding your story... well, I personally get irked when trouser wearing women take issue with men wearing skirts (any kind). But those rants I can reserve for other threads.... for now... welcome to the board! I do hope you find it enlightening!