skirtcafe.org

Hello all,
I hope I fit in here, I am rather worried reading the intro posts that the rules seems to be very strict.
I am a long time crossdresser, there, I've said it, now I shall be banned. However it depends on your definition of crossdressing. I wear skirts, kilts, sarongs, even dresses (banned twice) but always maintaining my male identity. My first time 'out' was on a holiday to Cornwall when I wore a camouflage skirt exclusively, as a man in a skirt - it was very instructive. I learnt that if you are confident nobody pays that much attention, yes a few stares, but that was all. Last year I went on holiday to France and again wore a skirt with 'normal' clothes for the whole week. Great. I am now at the stage where I have realised that life is short and I want to do what I want to do, that is wear skirts. A couple of weeks ago I informed my employer that after the summer break I would be returning to work wearing skirts and dresses (banned three times). I am not looking to present as a woman, I just want to the choice in what to wear. The reaction was great. Everyone at work has supported my decision. One of the issues I have is that skirt wearing is great in summer, as legwear is not an issue, but as the weather cools it gets more difficult, so I sometimes wear tights (banned four times). I would like to be able to discuss this sort of stuff. I have made a conscious decision to come out as a skirt-wearing man, but I am worried more by the reaction on here than I was from my employer.
Head on chopping block.
Jeff

This, four sentences in, sums the matter up:

jeffreyrichards2015 wrote:I wear skirts, kilts, sarongs, even dresses (banned twice) but always maintaining my male identity.

The maintenance of the male identity is what sets SkirtCafe apart from the plethora of sites that cater to those who wish to abandon, or mask, their "maleness" and venture forth into the world (masquerading) as women. The men here embrace their masculinity and do not wish to ditch it just for the benefit of wearing something other than trousers on their lower halves. In this we openly defy the conventional wisdom of "Western Culture" that skirts are feminine garb only.

As you have clearly experienced first hand, most folks around you won't give you a hard time. They might not give you the time of day, but that'd be their loss. Also, as you've found out, being confident in yourself is a key component of succeeding in the world if you dare to be different.

Almost everyone here worried about what would happen the first time he showed up in public wearing a skirt -- or even a kilt. Most have found out that very little does, and what happenstances do occur are usually positive in nature. Women who are unattached to you will likely be those who comment/compliment first; it's those closest to you that turn out to be the biggest detractors.

So, instead of betting banned, enjoy a warm welcome. I'll put a fresh pot of brew on.

Thank you so much crfriend for your words. I feel much happier, I was worried that mention of dresses and tights would be frowned on. You can be assured that I want to break down barriers and show that items of clothing do not have to be gender specific. If enough men start wearing skirts and show that they are ordinary blokes who just like skirts, then we can try and wrest the perception that a man in a skirt is a freak away from the less well informed.

No sugar in mine, thanks.
Jeff

jeffreyrichards2015 wrote:?..I am worried more by the reaction on here than I was from my employer...

Don't sweat the reaction here. Just avoid female impersonation and you'll be fine.

As to being banned, by who?

Welcome, Jeff. Most of us are adapting various elements of fashion designed/made/marketed for women as part of our male wardrobes. We don't regard that as crossdressing if the ultimate goal isn't passing for or impersonating a woman. We simply maintain our identities as men.

Welcome, Jeffrey. It looks like you should fit in here just fine!

What sort of employer do you have? (Apart from an open-minded one, that's obvious!)

Welcome, Jeffrey. Don't worry about what you are wearing; it's HOW you are wearing! I'm a lover of tights for example, and they are seen here simply as an accessory to skirt wearing (as indeed they are). Ditto heels.

If you present as male, you can wear what you want and discuss your looks here.

Ps v jealous of your being able to work, skirted.

Thanks skirtyscot, I work in higher education.
Hello Ray, I love that definition between what and how. That's great. Can I nick that for my signature?
I will keep you updated on how it all goes at work when I am back from break.

Hi Jeffrey, welcome to the cafe, discussion of skirts, dresses, tights and even heels (and other shoes) are all welcome here, we have many members here that wear such items (indeed i myself wear skirts, dresses and tights) any item is allowed as long as it's not specifically a female item ... for example a man (in all but a few rare cases) has no use for a bra (bras are designed to support the parts that (most) men do not have) and thus posts about wearing bras are frowned upon, there are probably a few other female specific items too that would get a cold response if mentioned but anything else is fine ... and it's not just limited to skirts and dresses etc we have members here that wear womens blouses and other tops too, in fact anything goes provided that it is not intended to do a specific job for women only

Happy discussions

Jeff

Re signature appropriation.

Go for it!

Ray (lounging in short grey skirt, sheer hosiery,and men's top.....)

Don't feel bad about stockings and leggings, as it gets colder I plan to wear them under my skirts. And there is a lengthy discussion on here about cafe members who wear dresses. Its cool! And if you're a crossdresser, then so is just about every woman I see. So I wouldn't sweat it. Society will choose their labels.... that doesn't change who you are.

moonshadow wrote:...Society will choose their labels.... that doesn't change who you are.

Exactly.

Hello Jeffrey and welcome to SkirtCafe.

As many have said, you will not get banned from this forum for wearing clothing that society still label as womens wear for men but any wear for women.

Do not for one minute consider yourself a cross dresser. As you have said you maintain your male identity so you are no different to the many many women of today that have adopted all the male wardrobe for themselves, the same wardrobe they expect men to remain in. If you are a cross dresser then what are they? Cross dressing is wearing clothes of the opposite sex. A few decades ago we had clear clothing dividing lines so yes then it would be cross dressing but it isn't now with the gender blurring of clothes by the women of society. As is so often said, if I want to dress like a woman I would wear jeans and trousers!

You be yourself and do so with confidence. Many on this forum wear many items of clothing that society is obsessed with labeling as being womens wear only and that includes myself. I wear skirts, tops, cardigans, scarfs and yes tights in the cooler months. Just go through some of the threads on this forum many are very open about what they wear and post photos and yes, they are still men and have no intention of being anything other.

I too have not had any direct negative confrontation, the vast majority pass by as they do when you are in male labelled clothing. Some will engage with banter with you, and not even discuss what you have on. Some pass compliments and even show curiosity in a good way. Some as crfriend says "They might not give you the time of day, but that'd be their loss." You will encounter a small minority who will stare and make it known they are talking about you. With these the secret is to not let them get under your skin. After 4 years of skirt wearing in public recently I did, the minority was always there, or seemed to be, because once I let it slip you become conscious of the few that stare and make it worse for yourself. Go about with confidence and be yourself. Others will always talk about others, if not you, it will be someone else for another reason they cannot understand. It's their loss and you will often find out they are the sad ones with a boring life. With this small minority apart from this one recent slip, I ignore, or give them a friendly acknowledgement via a hand wave and even speak to them "hi, nice day to day" or something like that. Do not at any time think of yourself as a cross dresser, you are not.

There is plenty of support here even if you do not partake in all the threads. I don't. I also get the occasional contact from other skirt wearing men via my web site who do not want to be part of this forum even though I bring it to their attention. Some do not have the courage to do what you and others do and some just do it within life and basically stick to fingers up to society. We all handle it in different ways, but on this forum you can get life experiences of others.

All the best. If you have queries, float it out here, you will get many and varying replies but all with the same objective, be yourself and do what you want to do.

Jeremy

So, can you buy clothes from across the aisle and not be a cross-dresser?

It always seems to me there's a bit of cognitive dissonance going on here. Like cross-dressing has a negative connation, so you wouldn't want to be one, even though you do like to wear skirts, so that must not be cross-dressing.

Personally, I've stopped worrying about whether I'm a cross-dresser or not. I like wearing skirts and tights and heels so maybe I am, at least to some degree. I'm not primarily trying to look like a woman, though, so maybe I'm not. It's just a label.

Hi &