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Six-year-old son loves wearing dresses
Posted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 10:52 am
by RichardA
I'm not too sure about this one, maybe the mother just wanted a daughter
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... -walk.html
Re: Six-year-old son loves wearing dresses
Posted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 4:13 pm
by partlyscot
Don't see why you would say that, they seem to be concerned about their children, and just want them to be as happy as they can be. Face it, some boys are drawn to that type of clothing, some are not, some are one gender all the way through, some are not. Some kids are transexuals, some are just a bit 'girly," some are so far on that side of the spectrum that the only way for them to be happy is to "go all the way" and have hormones and surgery.
Most children are perfectly happy with a straightforward binary gender choice, but it is important to let them consider it without
ANY pushing, in either direction. It is going to be one of the biggest thing in personal happiness for a large group of people, if such tolerance can come to pass.
There
ARE, "intersex" people, children, out there, but they are only the ones visible at birth, sometimes. There are many more whose gender is not binary. Your physical form, your internal identification, your external display, your sexual orientation, all are separate. There are permutations of all types and gradations.
Re: Six-year-old son loves wearing dresses
Posted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 4:45 pm
by Charlie
Here's a lovely rant against gender stereotyping:
http://www.experienceproject.com/storie ... ypes/72110
Who Is the Primitive One?
I hated being a little girl, being told I couldn't play in league football because I was a girl, being told I couldn't play video games because I was a girl, being told I had to wear a dress and act like a lady and be quiet and sit still and play with dolls because I was a girl.
I still hate it. I don't hate being a girl, don't think being a boy would be any better. But I hate that people are forced into stereotypes, forced into molds of who they should be, what jobs they should have because of their genitalia.
A lot of the "primitive" civilizations had more leeway than we do now, there were more than two genders. I read about one that had 8 names for genders. They each took into account what genitalia one was born with, what work you preferred doing, and sexual preference. There was no apparent shame in belonging to any of the groups.
That was actually in an anthropology class. When we read that several of the boys freaked out and started saying that the tribe was all gay. They were told to shut up or leave class. One opted to leave the class.
I wish this society would be more open minded about that stuff. We have gone backwards in thinking instead of forward.
Charlie (AKA Skirtman)
Re: Six-year-old son loves wearing dresses
Posted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 5:32 pm
by Caultron
I've always had a bit of a problem believing in a genetic basis for girls liking dresses, dolls, and pink, and boys liking pants, toy trucks, and blue.
But at the same time, it's certainly true that some individuals gravitate along such lines before they've had time to learn social norms.
Classifying a six-year-old as transgender and then attaching a wide range of expected behaviors seems kind of extreme. A child's personality seems far too undeveloped for attaching any life-long stereotype of classification. And yet, if a specific child likes one mode of dress over others, or activities, or color, why not?
Re: Six-year-old son loves wearing dresses
Posted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 6:28 pm
by Grok
I agree that we should not be quick to categorize children.
Re: Six-year-old son loves wearing dresses
Posted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 6:31 pm
by Grok
Perhaps a child is simply experimenting.
Re: Six-year-old son loves wearing dresses
Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 5:23 am
by Tor
Either experimenting or, should he continue as he seems to be so far, a future denizen here, especially in the Freestyle section. With a little (perhaps a lot) of luck by the time that would be the case we'll be just a few "old" fogies hanging around keeping friendships from the "dark ages" alive. It has crossed my mind to wonder if we'll find ourselves wondering how fashions changed around us almost before we noticed it happening - though we're probably watching closely enough with enough eyes that we'll have a good deal more warning than most.
Re: Six-year-old son loves wearing dresses
Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 6:25 am
by partlyscot
I don't think the parents are classifying their child, they are just allowing him to state his preferences, and allowing him to follow them. Whre that leads...who knows?
Re: Six-year-old son loves wearing dresses
Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 7:51 am
by Kirbstone
Where it leads to is conformity with his peers, his school friends, at least while he's in education and he'll probably wear school uniform or jeans & tees like the rest of 'em.
Only after he grows up & achieves some measure if independence will he again contemplate going unbifurcated. That's my guess.
T.
Re: Six-year-old son loves wearing dresses
Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 3:12 pm
by Caultron
Here's another:
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archi ... it/279333/
These parents are just letting their kids be themselves.
Now, childrearing obviously does involve teaching the offspring not to follow their instincts and preferences in a variety of ways. Don't drink the turpentine. Don't put your finger in the socket. Don't lie or steal. No hitting. Go to school. And so on. But parents can't be all-controlling. The child needs to assert him- or herself some way or other, and so the parent needs to choose which battles to fight. Too many and too few are both wrong. So why battle fashion when there are so many more important issues to deal with?
I was at a hockey game last season and noticed a 12-year-old boy wearing a midiskirt in the men's room. I only got a glimpse, then he was gone, but I wish I'd had a moment to wish him, "Be yourself."
Of course, dressing a boy in skirts when he doesn't want that is just as wrong, in most cases, as forbidding him if he wants it.
And school dress codes and peer hazing can both be problems.
Re: Six-year-old son loves wearing dresses
Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 6:24 pm
by Zorba
Caultron wrote:And school dress codes and peer hazing can both be problems.
A child needs to learn to be VERY selective about who s/he regards as "peers".
As for school dress codes:
"In the first place, God created idiots. That was for practice. Then He created school boards." --Mark Twain
In my better than half century on this planet, I've seen VERY little that belies the above quotation.
Re: Six-year-old son loves wearing dresses
Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 9:40 pm
by Caultron
Zorba wrote:...A child needs to learn to be VERY selective about who s/he regards as "peers"...
Well, yes, you can tell a child not to care if this or that classmate picks on him, but it takes a strong ego to carry through on that. Children can be very cruel.
Zorba wrote:...As for school dress codes:
"In the first place, God created idiots. That was for practice. Then He created school boards." --Mark Twain...
Personally, I've always thought that most school dress codes were much ado about nothing. I suppose there have to be
some rules, though, or kids would start showing up in their pajamas or less. At some point, students showing up in black lace lingerie, swimsuits, or clown costumes does distract from the material being taught. So some kind of line probably does need to be drawn somewhere. Personally, I'd say that boys wearing skirts or dresses ought to be OK, but I'm sure there are others who'd see this as promoting sexual deviance, corrupting the students around them, or diverting attention away from education. And regardless of leaning, everyone cares deeply for their kids. It's a dilemma with no simple solution,
Re: Six-year-old son loves wearing dresses
Posted: Sat Sep 07, 2013 4:54 am
by skirted_in_SF
Caultron wrote: Personally, I'd say that boys wearing skirts or dresses ought to be OK, but I'm sure there are others who'd see this as promoting sexual deviance, corrupting the students around them, or diverting attention away from education. And regardless of leaning, everyone cares deeply for their kids. It's a dilemma with no simple solution,
I was going to post a link to the Atlantic site, but see you beat me to it Caultron.
I only read the first 20 or so of the 500+ comments and they range from supportive to hateful.
Re: Six-year-old son loves wearing dresses
Posted: Sat Sep 07, 2013 5:18 am
by Zorba
Caultron wrote:.. Children can be very cruel.
They certainly can be - and usually are. I remember well. And I grew up in a gentler age, the school system wasn't quite the cesspool it is now...
Re: Six-year-old son loves wearing dresses
Posted: Sat Sep 07, 2013 7:19 am
by Sarongman
Zorba wrote:
Caultron wrote:.. Children can be very cruel.
They certainly can be - and usually are. I remember well. And I grew up in a gentler age, the school system wasn't quite the cesspool it is now...
Caultron wrote:.. Children can be very cruel.
They certainly can be - and usually are. I remember well. And I grew up in a gentler age, the school system wasn't quite the cesspool it is now...
I can easily second that! My high school years were a misery and would have been unendurable if not for the friendship of three others who I have just rediscovered in the last 12 months. Yes, the 60s was a gentler age. My oldest grand daughter (14) is now home-schooled due to bullying.