skirtcafe.org

Kinda been lurking around the board for a little while now, so thought I'd create an account.

I am in my mid 40's, married with young children, and have been wearing skirts since my early teens. I suppose that maybe puts me in the crossdresser category and although I have been a member of crossdressers.com for a couple of years, I really don't fully belong there as I have no desire to present as female or use make up, wig, jewelery etc. I just like the look and feel of skirts, and prefer them to trousers.

I own several (about 8 I think) skirts, and also a couple of dresses, high denier leggings and womens chunky low heel shoes which I really like as well. I wonder if that kinda puts me in the minority here .

I buy my own skirts from retail and thrift shops and have never had a problem trying on clothes "in store". From time to time I get out and about wearing a skirt, and although I have had a couple of funny looks from people, I've never had a bad reaction.

My wonderful wife is OK (read tolerant) with my fashion choices so long as the kids and the neighbours don't see me in a skirt.

I'm an avid reader of the posts here, but don't post much myself so please excuse me if I'm a bit quiet on the board. I'll usually only say something if I have something I feel adds to the topic.

Cheers

Hazy

Hi &

Welcome to the board Hazy.

Hazy wrote:My wonderful wife is OK (read tolerant) with my fashion choices so long as the kids and the neighbours don't see me in a skirt.

That does not sound very tolerant to me, it sounds like putting up with it while it stays secret. Has she ever gone out with you while you were skirted? How old are the kids?

Have fun,


Ian.

Welcome Hazy from another Australian.

Your situation sounds similar to mine. I have also liked the feel of skirts for most of my life, but only in secret until more recent times. I also tried fitting in with crossdressers.com but it was not me. Then I found this site and the facebook page Men's skirts. I feel right at home. I have my 11 year old son living with me and he is ok most of the time to go out with me skirted. I am skirted most weekends at home and out and about. Because of the cold weather I currently wear denim skirts with heavy black tights and everything else is usual male style. Have a look at my website some time. TheFreeman.com.au

Hopefully we will here more about your world soon.

Peter

Thanks for the welcoming messages.

Milfmog wrote: That does not sound very tolerant to me, it sounds like putting up with it while it stays secret. Has she ever gone out with you while you were skirted? How old are the kids?

Hi Ian,

Well, lets just say that it took me a couple of years into our relationship to tell my wife about my fashion preferences, which was a mistake I wish I could re do. That's not exactly like admitting you prefer pepsi to coke. She questioned my sexuality and masculinity. These were, in my opinion, valid concerns, especially as I am a 6ft+ athlete / body builder and display absolutely no other femme traits. She also had to consider society's (read our neighbours) ability to absorb this, and whether she would be ostracized in any way. No matter what we think, guys wearing skirts is not a social norm, and outwardly normal people can react abnormally when confronted with a "situation". My wife doesn't want to be known as the wierdo's wife, with the possibility of having her good neighbourhood relationships trashed.

In the beginning she absolutely just didn't want to know about anything, hoped that it would just go away, and wanted to burn my skirts. She did her research, and had assistance from other wives of skirt wearing husbands. She accepted the situation and that's where we are today. Considering that wide spectrum of levels of acceptance from our wives, girlfriends or SO's, I feel my wife is quite accommodating.

Putting up with it whilst it remains secret is probably a fair description. I respect my wifes fears, whether rational or not, and am not the type to say f-you, I'm going to test waters you don't want me to test. It's not the huge a deal to me. If she was to demand no skirts whatsoever, things would be different. Like I said, I have any choice I want when there is just the two of us at home. I do my own in store shopping, and meet / socialize with other guys who like wearing skirts.
Some here might punch me for not pushing things, others might be envious, but overall I'm happy with where things stand at the minute.

My wife has never been out with me skirted, and I doubt she ever will.

I have 9 year old twin boys, who are unaware of my fashion preferences.

Here is a response from Stevie to Martin, from the "Sightings in the wild" thread. I found it most enlightening. I hope I am permitted to quote from other threads.

STEVIE wrote:Hi Martin, (and others)
Please bear in mind, that for many of us there are constraints of various kinds on when we can, and cannot, wear a skirt.
From your posts, you seem to be fairly lucky, a relaxed environment , supportive family and most importantly, your wife.
I will admit to being a tad envious, as I have to deal with "compromises" on a daily basis, simply to maintain a reasonable existence.
If I had been in ST's situation, wearing a skirt, wife present, think WW3 about to happen, and you may have some idea.
I kind of hope, that you "count your blessings"
Steve.

Thanks for the added details Hazy.

I apologise if my reply appeared to be critical, it was not meant to be, I was just trying to understand a difference in what we call tolerance.

I recognise your situation, my wife was similarly surprised when I first realised how comfortable skirts are. However I started with a sarong on holiday to cover sunburned calves and then a kilt as a bit of a joke one Valentines Day, so my son had already seen me skirted for "acceptable reasons" and so was not in the least concerned when he saw me in other skirts. That fact alone made it easier for me at home and allowed me to get Carole so used to me in a skirt that when we decided to shoot out and rent a video one evening she did not register that I was still skirted until we left the video shop. Then it dawned on her that no one else in the shop cared how I was dressed.

Since then she has been happy to go out with me informally skirted but still pushes back a bit if we are going to a more dressy social event. Time seems to be helping here. As she gets more used to my choices she stops noticing and I can “forget” to change. Eventually I hope she will be come as accepting and helpful to me as Sapphire is to Carl.

Have fun,


Ian.

G'day, Hazy, and welcome!

Hazy wrote:Well, lets just say that it took me a couple of years into our relationship to tell my wife about my fashion preferences, which was a mistake I wish I could re do.

This might be one of the reasons she freaked so badly when you broached it -- it came in from left field with no warning whatsoever and she, quite naturally, panicked and started wondering if there might be more. It's too late now to fret about it; the deed, as they say, is done -- and at least it's out in the open. It could have been vastly worse if she'd discovered some of your skirts herself whilst you were out someplace!

She questioned my sexuality and masculinity. These were, in my opinion, valid concerns, especially as I am a 6ft+ athlete / body builder and display absolutely no other femme traits.

My wife contemplated those things for, by her own admission, about 15 seconds and dismissed the concerns out of hand as being proposterous. I am as fully masculine when I'm wearing a skirt as when I wear trousers.

She also had to consider society's (read our neighbours) ability to absorb this, and whether she would be ostracized in any way. No matter what we think, guys wearing skirts is not a social norm, and outwardly normal people can react abnormally when confronted with a "situation". My wife doesn't want to be known as the wierdo's wife, with the possibility of having her good neighbourhood relationships trashed.

My personal experience -- and it's just that -- is that most folks fall into a few discrete buckets:

• Those who are simply so self-absorbed or otherwise oblivious to their surroundings that they genuinely don't notice,
• Those who do notice, but are too shy or "polite" to say anything,
• Those who not only notice, but are either quietly or publically supportive, and
• Those who notice and are genuinely curious. These tend to initiate conversations.

I've been wearing skirts for some years now, very publically, and I know of far more people who approve of it than detractors.

Whether this would be the same for you is primarily up to how open and accepting a neighbourhood you live in, but that said, most folks can be made, eventually, to see that it's just a fashion statement and a comfort option. But, respect your wife's fears, and try to gently assuage them over time.

Out of curiosity, what do you suppose her reaction to your skirts might she have had when you were first dating?

Good luck!

Hazy,

Well put. We all have our own path to follow. Our relationships, families, neighborhoods, work places are all different and how we feel and how far we are comfortable to push our boundaries are also very different. I think this forum is a good place to share our own individual stories and appreciate others individual stories.

Peter

Hi Hazy

I big warm welcome from Tasmania

Have you ever tried a kilt with your good lady. She may be more tolerant to start with as it is definitely a male garment?

Cheers

Rob

Milfmog wrote:Thanks for the added details Hazy.
I apologise if my reply appeared to be critical, it was not meant to be, I was just trying to understand a difference in what we call tolerance.
Ian.

No problems Ian, and no apology needed. you asked a valid question, and I answered it, hopefully well enough for my situation to be understood

crfriend wrote: Out of curiosity, what do you suppose her reaction to your skirts might she have had when you were first dating?
Good luck!

Hmmmm, I think maybe better in some respects. The main problem is that I hid it from her for a couple of years....the secrecy rather than the act. If I could keep that from her then what else am I keeping secret type of thing! The end result I think would still be the same, as in she is accepting of my crossdressing tendencies, and is more or less OK when it's just the two of us. She has a couple of boundaries she doesn't want me to cross, and that's perfectly fine by me.

MrUtopia wrote:Hazy,
Well put. We all have our own path to follow. Our relationships, families, neighborhoods, work places are all different and how we feel and how far we are comfortable to push our boundaries are also very different. I think this forum is a good place to share our own individual stories and appreciate others individual stories.
Peter

Thanks Peter, I'm reading a lot and enjoying reading about the experiences posted here.

Tassierob wrote:Hi Hazy
I big warm welcome from Tasmania
Have you ever tried a kilt with your good lady. She may be more tolerant to start with as it is definitely a male garment?
Cheers
Rob

Thanks Rob, I assume you mean the wife going out with me in a kilt? If so, then it's a no, I haven't tried that and I don't think she'll go for it either. although I do have a kilt like skirt which I post a pic of in a minute. I don't really want to push the issue either, as I am happy enough with the current situation.....or rather I don't want to risk the current situation by pushing things (if you know what I mean).

Here's a photo from this morning, my favourite skirt. Decapitation deliberate

Hazy:

Bravo !*****! well done !
Great color co-ordination.

Now if we can only do something with the headless-footless native of Australia.

In any event you have now broken the code of ice and put yourself on display.
Nothing to fear anymore; you look just great - the skirt is perfect !

rma

I've been very remiss in my posting lately.


and I understand your "situation", FULLY
(B.T.D.T.)

Uncle Al

r.m.anderson wrote:Hazy:

Bravo !*****! well done !
Great color co-ordination.

Now if we can only do something with the headless-footless native of Australia.

In any event you have now broken the code of ice and put yourself on display.
Nothing to fear anymore; you look just great - the skirt is perfect !

rma

Thanks for the kind words.

I have addressed the headless & footless thing in the pics section.

Cheers

Hazy

Hi there,

I am also from Brisbane. Last summer, when struggling daily to find something breezy to wear, I slowly got the idea to wear skirts. Wondering how family, friends and others would react, I ventured out only occasionally. After I found out most people did not notice or seemed to accept it, I presented the new fashion to my wife. It did not surprise her, as she already noticed my struggle to find something suitable, and luckily supports the idea.

Now, almost a year ahead, I go skirted most of the time. Sometimes even sun-dressed. To the office, picking up our kids from school, visiting friends. Mostly I wear above-the-knee cotton, with elastic waist and wide enough for walking freedom. Much more comfy than pants, no matter how short.

I also discovered that most woman's tees are thinner, lower neckline and shorter sleeves than men's tees. So even more fresh for summer, and match the skirt's look better.

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