Out and About -- In the World at Large

[Mouse]

Greenboots, I feel so much for you. I wonder if smaller stealthy steps are needed. In my own life I try to keep those close to me on a gentle progression. You already have general acceptance of a tartan kilt. I would next move to a plain black utility kilt such as a Stumpdown kilt. Yes I know it is not a black skirt as you want to wear, but it is a man’s garment and it is not Scottish or Tartan. I have one of these and I use it in all situations where I am not sure who I am meeting or my mother….Sorry if I am late to the party and you have already tried this.

[greenboots]

Mouse, I already have several kilts, tartan, plain and utility, accumulated over several years. I have also had a variety of skirts but currently have just the one that I wore to the recent meet up.

It’s a long story, some of which is documented elsewhere on the cafe. The main issue is my wife’s family, who alternate between being sweet and horrid. And because my wife can’t handle the sniping, I have to avoid “skirts” around them. Having said that, I got away with a kilt last Saturday in the presence of the worst snipe.

As for my family, I hardly see my brother and when I ware a utility kilt in his presence when we visited this summer, it merited only a brief comment before passing on. My parents are now used to me wearing kilts but still have an ambivalent attitude towards gender issues (which is probably how they would view my skirts). Since they are in their 80s and my Dad has cancer that will eventually take his life - months or years, who knows - I’m not inclined to push too hard. My sister has her own issues in the family so a “femme” brother might be too much.

All in all, for the moment I am reasonably content. If there were opposition to my kilts, I might decide to push back. Otherwise it’s softly softly.

[Myopic Bookworm]

Having had to deal a lot with my elderly parents over the last few days, I have been stuck in trousers and desperate to get back to my skirts, so when I had the chance today I abandoned caution. The new cleaners have found out on day one that their client sometimes wears a mid-calf lenth denim skirt (with black tights, though they look much the same as long socks). I carried on wearing it while dropping something off at the kids' music school, and shopping in the enormous Tesco's. I think one or two people gave me a second look.

This evening we had the school carol service and, reckoning that a skirt would be discreet in a dim and crowded church, I switched to a black woollen skirt of similar length, with a man's shirt, tie, and waistcoat, over my knee-length black suede boots. If anyone noticed, I didn't notice them noticing.

[Coder]

After work today, stopped at a grocery store in a rust/ochre plaid knee-length skirt, black tights/boots and blue jacket. I was looking for distilled water, and after traipsing the full length of the store (it's one of the bigger grocery stores) found they were out of stock. Will need to go back later this week. Everyone was absorbed in their tasks, doubt I even registered on anyone's radar which was... nice.

[Bill]

With the Holiday decorating finished and gifts purchased and wrapped my wife and I decided to visit one of our favorite small towns, Berlin, Maryland, to see the holiday sights and enjoy lunch in a fine dining atmosphere.

Being the week before Christmas, I chose my red Macintosh Tartan wool kilt to wear with black leggings, a grey sweater, black leather jacket and, of course, a Santa hat. The first stop was to grab some photographs of my wife standing next to the WWII Sherman Tank on display at the American Legion post - decorated with lights for the holidays. She wanted some pictures to send to our son who is deployed to Kuwait for the holiday (he was a tanker for a while earlier in his military career).

When we got into town we had a fine lunch and perused several of the small businesses, even making a couple of purchases for ourselves. The final stop was for some delicious Ice Cream that always ends up going homer with us. to enjoy for the next week or so.

During out two-hour stroll I had no "funny looks" but did accumulate several smiles and wishes of Merry Christmas and even a couple of compliments on the Santa-like attire. It was a great day of exploring, shopping and kilting.

[TonautBrom]

Had my first outing wearing black opaque tights with my denim knee length skirt yesterday. I cycled to Paddington, had a bite to eat at a cafe as I’d just missed a train, then travelled back home, doing emails most of the way. Popped along the train to get a cuppa at one point. No reaction I could see (although I wasn’t really looking) and felt very comfortable. Another step along the way.

[Barleymower]

Had my first outing wearing black opaque tights with my denim knee length skirt yesterday. I cycled to Paddington, had a bite to eat at a cafe as I’d just missed a train, then travelled back home, doing emails most of the way. Popped along the train to get a cuppa at one point. No reaction I could see (although I wasn’t really looking) and felt very comfortable. Another step along the way.

I'm guessing that you ride a Brompton TB or similar. I'm old enough to remember Paddington taxi ramps on Eastbourne Terrace but not old enough to remember when the main pedestrian ramp between Praed Street and the station was the taxi ramp into the station.

[TonautBrom]

Had my first outing wearing black opaque tights with my denim knee length skirt yesterday. I cycled to Paddington, had a bite to eat at a cafe as I’d just missed a train, then travelled back home, doing emails most of the way. Popped along the train to get a cuppa at one point. No reaction I could see (although I wasn’t really looking) and felt very comfortable. Another step along the way.

I'm guessing that you ride a Brompton TB or similar. I'm old enough to remember Paddington taxi ramps on Eastbourne Terrace but not old enough to remember when the main pedestrian ramp between Praed Street and the station was the taxi ramp into the station.

I have a very nice M6 ‘Nickel’ edition with titanium bits and bobs - it’s my second Brommie, a present for a significant birthday a few years ago. I absolutely love riding it around London, the closest thing to flying, as Jeremy Vine says.

[Barleymower]

Had my first outing wearing black opaque tights with my denim knee length skirt yesterday. I cycled to Paddington, had a bite to eat at a cafe as I’d just missed a train, then travelled back home, doing emails most of the way. Popped along the train to get a cuppa at one point. No reaction I could see (although I wasn’t really looking) and felt very comfortable. Another step along the way.

I'm guessing that you ride a Brompton TB or similar. I'm old enough to remember Paddington taxi ramps on Eastbourne Terrace but not old enough to remember when the main pedestrian ramp between Praed Street and the station was the taxi ramp into the station.

I have a very nice M6 ‘Nickel’ edition with titanium bits and bobs - it’s my second Brommie, a present for a significant birthday a few years ago. I absolutely love riding it around London, the closest thing to flying, as Jeremy Vine says.

Definitely TB. I used to cycle from Paddington everyday to Victoria on a Brompton single speed. After it got pinched I got a black Sturmey Archer 3 speed version. Zipping in and out of the traffic around Hyde Park Corner.

[TonautBrom]

I have a very nice M6 ‘Nickel’ edition with titanium bits and bobs - it’s my second Brommie, a present for a significant birthday a few years ago. I absolutely love riding it around London, the closest thing to flying, as Jeremy Vine says.

Definitely TB. I used to cycle from Paddington everyday to Victoria on a Brompton single speed. After it got pinched I got a black Sturmey Archer 3 speed version. Zipping in and out of the traffic around Hyde Park Corner.

Very nickable, Bromptons. I never leave mine locked up outside, always take it in with me - offices, pubs, restaurants - I always find somewhere to shove it!

[denimini]

I had a good outing last week. I had an eye checkup in "town" and as I did not have much shopping to do I caught the bus, as at $2.50 for a 400km return trip my little car can not compete. A hot day was forecast and I agonised over whether to wear a 11.5" mini skirt, a bit shorter than I would normally wear especially in waiting rooms. I went with a light cotton shirt and the 11.5" khaki cargo mini with Merril Moab sand shoes. I normally wear a shoulder bag for phone, purse and wallet but took a back pack instead because I wanted to carry a large bottle of water and a shopping bag.
There were plenty of passengers on the bus with Christmas coming up so I had someone sitting adjactent over the aisle and I had with a lot of leg showing, goose- bumped because of the cold airconditioning, so I put my backpack on the seat beside me and thus could be more relaxed in my posture for the 2 hour trip.
The bus arrived well before my appointment so I alighted in town, as I was busting for a pee, and walked the few kilometres to the hospital. The weather was fairly warm so I was thankfull for the short mini and Moabs, striding along with a spring in my step like I was in my early 30's.
The large waiting room was no problem as I put my back pack on my lap. My only purchase for the day was a really nice, new mercerised cotton shirt at an Op-shop for $1 as they were getting rid of stock before closing up for Christmas.
The bus trip home was just as cold so I asked the driver to drop me off as soon as we hit town and I would walk home. The bus normally takes everyone to their doorstep so they can unload their shopping which can take an extra half hour or more, which is a great service but my place is towards the end of the run. Being first off meant that I had to parade my mini skirt to all on the bus as I made my way along the aisle.
All in all it was a fun day and no-one batted an eye with my 11.5" mini, that I saw.

[JeffB1959]

I had a good outing last week. I had an eye checkup in "town" and as I did not have much shopping to do I caught the bus, as at $2.50 for a 400km return trip my little car can not compete. A hot day was forecast and I agonised over whether to wear a 11.5" mini skirt, a bit shorter than I would normally wear especially in waiting rooms. I went with a light cotton shirt and the 11.5" khaki cargo mini with Merril Moab sand shoes. I normally wear a shoulder bag for phone, purse and wallet but took a back pack instead because I wanted to carry a large bottle of water and a shopping bag.
There were plenty of passengers on the bus with Christmas coming up so I had someone sitting adjactent over the aisle and I had with a lot of leg showing, goose- bumped because of the cold airconditioning, so I put my backpack on the seat beside me and thus could be more relaxed in my posture for the 2 hour trip.
The bus arrived well before my appointment so I alighted in town, as I was busting for a pee, and walked the few kilometres to the hospital. The weather was fairly warm so I was thankfull for the short mini and Moabs, striding along with a spring in my step like I was in my early 30's.
The large waiting room was no problem as I put my back pack on my lap. My only purchase for the day was a really nice, new mercerised cotton shirt at an Op-shop for $1 as they were getting rid of stock before closing up for Christmas.
The bus trip home was just as cold so I asked the driver to drop me off as soon as we hit town and I would walk home. The bus normally takes everyone to their doorstep so they can unload their shopping which can take an extra half hour or more, which is a great service but my place is towards the end of the run. Being first off meant that I had to parade my mini skirt to all on the bus as I made my way along the aisle.
All in all it was a fun day and no-one batted an eye with my 11.5" mini, that I saw.

Good for you, denimini! Given how tall I am (6-2), I don't think I could've worn a skirt as short as yours.

[Faldaguy]

Several of the recent comments have been concerns about acceptance from family and elderly parents. Also, a repeated comment has been about "getting looks", or not noticing such. The link is a quick picture my wife took while we were having dinner with my parents in the large dining room of an Independent Living facility. Our table was right by the entry so you don't see the multitude of people present, but they certainly saw us, if they bothered to look, entering, exiting, and in the self-serve lines while filling our plates. I have mentioned before that I think "watching for looks" is one of the ways that can make you a 'target' -- your own watching is oft a indicator of your own doubts or lack of confidence, and people pick up on these signals and look to see what your wary look is all about. On the other hand, just naturally going about your task with ordinary interactions will help smooth the 'introduction' for others.

In this instance, many of the people already know me from years of visiting, but being Christmas, there were lots of family members and visitors from afar. I did get two compliments from those 'strangers' and just in navigating the crowd I did notice perhaps a couple of slightly puzzled or surprised looks, but we all continued as if nothing was other than normal. My point is you can have confidence and faith that the great majority of people just accept or don't care about your clothing choices; and more than you may expect appreciate those who do step outside the box a bit-- including the elderly and family members that may be surprised but once they observe that the world is not going to come crashing down because they are around a man in a skirt, all proceeds normally. For what it is worth, here is the picture from Christmas dinner in the commons dining hall with perhaps 150 people about -- some their neighbors, some family from afar. https://photos.app.goo.gl/kRjVjHR3evwjtmcC9

[denimini]

I have mentioned before that I think "watching for looks" is one of the ways that can make you a 'target' -- your own watching is oft a indicator of your own doubts or lack of confidence, and people pick up on these signals and look to see what your wary look is all about. On the other hand, just naturally going about your task with ordinary interactions will help smooth the 'introduction' for others.

I totally agree. Confidently going about as if it is the most normal thing in the world sets a cue for people's thinking; that is it must be Ok. Friends around who are familiar and don't react at all also set the scene for strangers.

[Midas]

Exactly. It’s all about having the confidence to behave normally. If a man steals a shovel and tries to hide it under his coat he will get caught. If he puts it over his shoulder and walks away with it on display for the world to see he will not.