skirtcafe.org

Hi.
I am new to the SkirtCafe. I have been wearing a skirt for some years now, but only at home and in the garden. I have only been out in a skirt once. That was a trip to a local supermarket car park, to put bottles in the recycle bin. I don't think I have the bottle (no pun intended) to really go out in public, although I would love to do so. My wife is ok with my skirt wearing in the house, I wear my skirt most nights, but I don't think she would like to be seen with me in public. Does anyone have any thoughts on the on how I could persuade her.

Heavy duty

Hi Heavy Duty
welcome to the club, I'm from the UK as well
happy skirting

Hi and welcome to the café,

Is your wife the only one who is worried about you being seen in a skirt? If so then why not try going to somewhere you are not known such as a shopping centre in a town a few miles out of your normal range. You go in skirted and she can follow you around (but not associate with you) and observe just how little concern anyone shows for your choice of clothing. I'd almost guarantee that you will get a few sidelong glances but also a number of smiles that far exceeds your normal quota when out shopping. (Be careful not to make her too jealous...)

Once she sees that nobody really cares, she may feel sufficiently relaxed to join you for a coffee or a beer and then perhaps even go with you to look for some new clothes for both of you...

If you plan it as a shopping trip for both of you, make sure she knows that you have taken some trousers so that you can change to do the shopping together if she is still not happy; it is important not to appear to have pre-judged the outcome and should help you to allay her fears.

If you try it be sure to let us know how you get on.

Have fun,


Ian.

PS: Rather than shopping for clothes you could just do a food shop or window shop for some furniture but try to chose something that she will enjoy doing together.

PPS: Note the signature, below

Hi,
Welcome to the Cafe! Like you I still can't bring myself to go anywhere I might be seen in a skirt but I take the kilt option fairly regularly, even in Central Scotland they aren't often seen outside weddings and football/rugby crowds but they look good and are "legitimate male attire" to most people. I have been buying skirts but still lack that bit of courage to stand out from the crowd. Still, maybe one day many miles fromhome, to start with. I think it would be easier to do with someone else like-minded but how likely is that?

I have been on the shy side all my life and to me, that means I am overly concerned about what other people think of me. Perhaps it also means I fear rejection and things like that.

I find it interesting that I have this interest in skirting which of course, puts me into a situation that I fear -- other people's opinions.

I have been out and about in a skirt a few times and those events rank in the top 10 "hardest things I have ever done in my life" list. It took an incredible amount of courage to go there, but I did it.

I strongly suspect God, or "the Universe" or fate or destiny or whatever "set me up" with this interest knowing full well it would be a huge challenge to me. My acting on my interest in skirting gives me a huge opportunity to grow and evolve. Thus, my plan is to keep pushing this envelope until I have received the full benefit of this lesson.

Does any of this resonate with anyone else here?

You have to start somewhere!!

I wear a few of my skirts out mostly to check the mail or do something else that's local to the house. I don't know if it's god or fait or what, but if you want something that builds confidence and character. I don't think you'll find anything better than a skirt.

Nomatter how much you practice for the "exam" of going out in one and experiencing how society is, you'll probably get some comment that you weren't expecting and have to guess how to answer it. No snappy come backs on those, sorry.

But most people either, work in a place where they can't actually say what they feel. Or they really are too scared to, or they just don't care and it's like seeing anything different, they'll stare until it gets old, or they'll just say, wow I wish I could do that.

I was in the "buckle" the other day with my fiancee because she wanted to see if there was anything new and cool and the store since the seasons are changing. She found that there really wasn't anything worth buying at the prices they wanted. I did however notice (I was in 3/4 jeans) a few of the sales people in the store staring at me (I was with her the whole time) making comments. Sorry but if you work in a trendy, upper priced clothing store, you might see a few things you otherwise wouldn't see. When you work in retail, not everyone is going to come in looking like leave it to beaver cast member. Needless to say the experience really bothered me and I'm going to avoid going into another buckle store, or at least that one. I don't feel comfortable in them anymore and the level of service I get everytime gets worse and worse (that's going to be part of my complaint email too).

Bri wrote:No matter how much you practice for the "exam" of going out in one and experiencing how society is, you'll probably get some comment that you weren't expecting and have to guess how to answer it. No snappy come backs on those, sorry.

Here's where confidence comes in. If you are confident in your stand on the matter of wearing skirts, you will be able to articulate reasoned replies in response to almost any query -- on the fly, with no need for "canned responses". Know that you are doing precisely nothing wrong by wearing a skirted garment, and hold your head high -- exude confidence (but not cockiness); this, alone, will deflect many would-be nay-sayers; the remainder that do comment will likely be doing so out of honest curiosity, and it's those folks who may be pre-disposed to listen to reason.

The idiot who tosses off a slur in your general direction isn't worth a response.

Welcome to the forum. Probably best to start with a kilt or a denim skirt, or why not hedge your bets with a denim kilt. Out of town retail parks are good places to begin skirting as you can drive there and back without needing to walk all around town until you gain more confidence - after I had seen one guy in an instakilt towel and then another guy wearing a black pleated skirt, both in the same retail complex and neither of whom seemed to be getting noticed by anyone other than myself, I have now worn a denim skirt to the same shopping complex a few times and so far haven't had any adverse comments. One shop assistant even said she liked my kilt, even though it was an unpleated denim skirt with a front zip fly.

JRMILLER wrote:I have been out and about in a skirt a few times and those events rank in the top 10 "hardest things I have ever done in my life" list. It took an incredible amount of courage to go there, but I did it.

Does any of this resonate with anyone else here?

Yes. The first time out was the hardest, then it got easier. Sometimes when I'm preparing to go out I think "Do I really want to do this?" but do it anyway so as to be true to myself.
Like JR, I was overly concerned about what people thought of me, and I'd try to be all thing to all men. Realising I couldn't please everyone all the time, I came to the conclusion I'd please just as many people just by being myself. Instant relaxation

Charlie

Charlie wrote: Like JR, I was overly concerned about what people thought of me, and I'd try to be all thing to all men. Realising I couldn't please everyone all the time, I came to the conclusion I'd please just as many people just by being myself. Instant relaxation

"But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well.
You see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself"
(To quote Rick Nelson, "Garden Party" about 1972)
Now I have music in my head, too.

Kris