skirtcafe.org

Hi jc.33, Welcome onto this forum.

I think you will find that a lot of are just like yourself, exploring the idea/concept of skirted clothing as a sensible, comfortable alternative for men.
I think that once you're comfortable with the idea, and you've found something that you like, start by wearing it around the house, then take it further, and go the next step.

I still look at many styles that some of the folk here wear, and think that (in my view) it is unusual, and certainly not something I would wear, but as others have said, find something that you're comfortable with and go from there.
As you've already said, you've bought "womens" leggings before, and more recently skirts at the second-hand shop. which is a good place to start experimenting, and hey, if you find you've bought an item that doesn't fit right, or later you think that it's not your style, just donate it back.

I am most comfortable with sarongs and the like, as that's what I was introduced to, while in the Solomon Islands, also, originally coming from a city where there was a polynesian/pacific island community, you would often see men, and some of the most masculine, large burly men, wearing lavalavas and Fijian sulus.
I recently picked up a denim skirt myself so I could see if I liked it, and it was something I could wear comfortably even just around the house, afterall, it only cost $4!

I'm only myself thinking about venturing out and about now, I have seen a man in the shopping centre a couple of years back wearing either a modern kilt or pleated skirt, and other men wearing sarongs, and on one occasion, I think it was new year's eve in the city, a man wearing a denim skirt, so there are a few out there who are skirted.
I guess most of us would notice another skirted man perhaps more than most.

There's plenty of folk here who will support you and encourage you, all of our fears are in our heads.
After all, a good definition of fear is: False Evidence Appearing Real!!!

I want to encourage you to take that first step outside by seconding all of the advice posted above.

It IS hard going out on that first outing. It most certainly was for me and that was after I had put 20 years of active, out in the real world crossdressing in my rearview mirror. I had to start all over again with walking around in my house, then my backyard, then deserted streets. My first big breakthrough was going to the supermarket late at night.

Not only was it public but the world didn't open up and swallow me. In fact, it was the definition of a non-event. I not only didn't get any 2nd looks, I didn't many 1st looks. Except from the staff who were very cordial and eager to please. So there is nothing to fear.

I'm very fortunate to be a member of a very open and accepting church congregation. When I decided to explore the possibility of coming to church in a dress I arranged to meet my pastor at a cocktail lounge for a glass of wine (her preferred meeting venue). I figured I going there in a dress would make it more clear what I had in mind and how I would look than trying to explain it. My original plan was to get some time at a service to explain what I had in mind and why and make sure no one had strong objections. She said, "Just do it!"

It took her saying that 3 times to convince me, but it was so exhilarating when I went home I couldn't stay still to heat up a frozen dinner for myself. I didn't want to get out of that dress and it was too nice to cook in. So even though I was unemployed I went to a nice restaurant for a steak dinner and was very well received and waited on. Joy is contagious.

When I went to church in another dress I was so well received, I've only gone to church in pants 2 or 3 times since. That was 10 months ago and I enjoy going to church so much -- including singing in the choir -- that I now go every Sunday. People told me they admire my courage and appreciate my being so genuine with them.

In short once you take the plunge you'll wonder why you hesitated. Let me tell you why, the world has changed over the last 10, 15, 20 years; people are MUCH more accepting. I remember in the 80's in Northern California my 1st wife and I decided at the last minute to go out on Halloween in a couple of her evening gowns. She made me up and gave me a wig, etc. And it was HALLOWEEN for God's sake and one guy at the night club we went to told me I shouldn't be in the Men's Room when I needed to go. Today, here in Portland, OR, I can honestly say I may have gotten some dirty looks that I didn't notice, but no one has hassled me. And lots of people have enjoyed my presence and paid me lots of compliments.

Take the prescribed baby steps so you will feel comfortable and confident in your new clothes, but when you feel you're nearly ready, TAKE THE PLUNGE! Because you will never be 100% ready and you'll always feel butterflies before you venture out.

Welcome to the café! And good luck!

Hello jc

Going along with what the others have said. Really the only thing that's stopping you is yourself.

I know it's hard, God knows I know it's hard. You, and others here may find it hard to believe, given some of the stuff I've worn around my region which is VERY RED (traditional/conservative/red-neck), but once upon a time I was very timid to even wear ANYTHING that fell outside of the norm, even from the men's side of the aisle. My clothes were very ordinary, plain t-shirts and jeans. I also enjoyed jogging pants because I found them more comfortable.

I was raised in a family that teased over just about anything. I remember when hair started growing on my upper lip.... they teased me. If I wore a pair of sunglasses.... they teased me. They made fun of the fact that I was growing armpit hair, so I never work tank tops.

Yeah, my family was pretty screwed up, and puberty was pretty hard on me as a result. I can still remember the anxiety I felt when I had a girlfriend at school. I never had many, but there were a few. Most of them I never told my family about... because they would make fun of me.

This is the conditioning I've had to overcome, and I'm still working at it. But confidence is like a drug, it's addicting. Once you get a taste, you want more, and more and more...

My first skirt was a Macabi skirt, as I found them to be a conservative skirt, modest, and most importantly, marketed to men as well.I also liked the fact I could mail order it, because I was still too nervous to actually go into a store and shop the women's section. But anyway... not trying to turn your thread into my own story... if you want to see the detailed explanation of when I first got started wearing skirts, check out this website: http://www.themountainwitch.com/?page_id=66, and I think I've got an intro thread lurking around here somewhere.

But I've pushed many boundaries in regards to men's skirt wearing freedom. I wear my outfits, some of which are downright feminine, anywhere. And I guess what I'm trying to say, if I can do it, anyone can. Mainly because I've got a backward, screwed up childhood to overcome, and I live in an area not very accepting of these type of things. And I've had some adventures. I've been at this for almost a year. I've outed myself to just about everyone I deal with. And yes, someone at work has already tried to have my job for it. They were unsuccessful, but I still feel like in the back of my head if enough people complain, they'll let me go.

Oh well.... I still wear my skirts everywhere I go. Man, you only live once. Tomorrow isn't promised to anybody. This goes for anything... not just skirts, but if there's something you want to do, provided it brings no harm to anyone... DO IT! The world is changing, we could die tomorrow, or the asteroid may hit, or the bottom may fall out of civilization and our modern world break down. We live in a country where you won't be arrested for wearing that which partaineth to a woman, and more and more employers are becoming friendly to "feminine" men, which will have the side effect of being more tolerant of men who wear more "manly" skirts like kilts, and the SkirtCraft.

So just DO IT! Don't wait until it's too late! This is YOUR life, it's YOUR body, it's YOUR choice! Don't let a bunch of people you don't even know decide how you dress yourself!

Here is the flickr album of myself in all my various finery. Some are at home, others are in the real world, but everything pictured I've worn:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/moonshado ... 7825789366

Usernames who live in "red" areas that still wear skirts in public (watch for their post to build your confidence), Fred (franinskirts)- South Carolina, bamaskirting- Mobile Alabama, dillon- Eastern North Carolina, bobmoore- Near Asheville NC, myself (moonshadow)-Southwestern Virginia/Northeastern Tennessee.

Good luck to you!

moonshadow wrote:Hello jc

Going along with what the others have said. Really the only thing that's stopping you is yourself.

I know it's hard, God knows I know it's hard. You, and others here may find it hard to believe, given some of the stuff I've worn around my region which is VERY RED (traditional/conservative/red-neck), but once upon a time I was very timid to even wear ANYTHING that fell outside of the norm, even from the men's side of the aisle. My clothes were very ordinary, plain t-shirts and jeans. I also enjoyed jogging pants because I found them more comfortable.

I was raised in a family that teased over just about anything. I remember when hair started growing on my upper lip.... they teased me. If I wore a pair of sunglasses.... they teased me. They made fun of the fact that I was growing armpit hair, so I never work tank tops.

Yeah, my family was pretty screwed up, and puberty was pretty hard on me as a result. I can still remember the anxiety I felt when I had a girlfriend at school. I never had many, but there were a few. Most of them I never told my family about... because they would make fun of me.

This is the conditioning I've had to overcome, and I'm still working at it. But confidence is like a drug, it's addicting. Once you get a taste, you want more, and more and more...

My first skirt was a Macabi skirt, as I found them to be a conservative skirt, modest, and most importantly, marketed to men as well.I also liked the fact I could mail order it, because I was still too nervous to actually go into a store and shop the women's section. But anyway... not trying to turn your thread into my own story... if you want to see the detailed explanation of when I first got started wearing skirts, check out this website: http://www.themountainwitch.com/?page_id=66, and I think I've got an intro thread lurking around here somewhere.

But I've pushed many boundaries in regards to men's skirt wearing freedom. I wear my outfits, some of which are downright feminine, anywhere. And I guess what I'm trying to say, if I can do it, anyone can. Mainly because I've got a backward, screwed up childhood to overcome, and I live in an area not very accepting of these type of things. And I've had some adventures. I've been at this for almost a year. I've outed myself to just about everyone I deal with. And yes, someone at work has already tried to have my job for it. They were unsuccessful, but I still feel like in the back of my head if enough people complain, they'll let me go.

Oh well.... I still wear my skirts everywhere I go. Man, you only live once. Tomorrow isn't promised to anybody. This goes for anything... not just skirts, but if there's something you want to do, provided it brings no harm to anyone... DO IT! The world is changing, we could die tomorrow, or the asteroid may hit, or the bottom may fall out of civilization and our modern world break down. We live in a country where you won't be arrested for wearing that which partaineth to a woman, and more and more employers are becoming friendly to "feminine" men, which will have the side effect of being more tolerant of men who wear more "manly" skirts like kilts, and the SkirtCraft.

So just DO IT! Don't wait until it's too late! This is YOUR life, it's YOUR body, it's YOUR choice! Don't let a bunch of people you don't even know decide how you dress yourself!

Here is the flickr album of myself in all my various finery. Some are at home, others are in the real world, but everything pictured I've worn:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/moonshado ... 7825789366

Usernames who live in "red" areas that still wear skirts in public (watch for their post to build your confidence), Fred (franinskirts)- South Carolina, bamaskirting- Mobile Alabama, dillon- Eastern North Carolina, bobmoore- Near Asheville NC, myself (moonshadow)-Southwestern Virginia/Northeastern Tennessee.

Good luck to you!

It also helped Moon to have a wife who came around to him wearing skirts. It helps boost his confidence more. He's not gone to a single place without me I'm always with him for the most part. However if you want this Jc33 it starts with you. Just give it a go. In the end you will see it's not as bad as you think.

JennC03 wrote: It also helped Moon to have a wife who came around to him wearing skirts. It helps boost his confidence more. He's not gone to a single place without me I'm always with him for the most part. However if you want this Jc33 it starts with you. Just give it a go. In the end you will see it's not as bad as you think.

Agreed. I have just had my first conversation with my wife while wearing a skirt, and she had some very helpful suggestions. This support is very important.

Orange Apple wrote:I have just had my first conversation with my wife while wearing a skirt, and she had some very helpful suggestions. This support is very important.

This is the best support you can have. My wife has been with me with my choice of clothing all along. Going public raised some questions of her own all regarding public reation which was an unknown quantity then for us both. Not knowing about this forum and other similar at the time I sort help via a Counsellor who from the first of only 4 discussions said I had to do it. I went public 2011 found this forum 2013.

Once I went public and we both realised we only got a small handful of idiots who would laugh, nothing physical at us, and the majority carried on with life and similar numbers talking to us as previously when I was in expected mens wear, life for us both blossomed.

Take it steady, go as fast as you want, but with the support of your wife and confidence with yourself you can do it. Many on this forum are testamentbto this.

My wife's advice has always been to wear long skirts, but i still like short ones.

I still need to have that talk with the wife. I don't think she will mind and probably won't care what I do but I am not certain and it's that uncertainty that is giving me pause. I'm just not sure how and haven't found the right way to introduce the topic.

The kilt might be the safest stepping stone as even MOH admits that the kilt is acceptable and she is against me wearing a skirt out of the house. But a kilt is relatively expensive. Cheaper than a DIVORCE I posit.

Yeah, that's good advice. Too bad those things are so expensive! I can get 10 - 15 skirts from Goodwill for the price of a kilt. But like you said its a means to an end. It's the hottest day of the year so far and can't stop daydreaming how nice a linen skirt would feel so light weight and airy.

jc.33 wrote:Yeah, that's good advice. Too bad those things are so expensive! I can get 10 - 15 skirts from Goodwill for the price of a kilt. But like you said its a means to an end. It's the hottest day of the year so far and can't stop daydreaming how nice a linen skirt would feel so light weight and airy.

I've found many people mistake certain skirts for kilts. I actually got into a mini debate with a checker once at the store as she insisted one of my blue midi skirts was a kilt. I kept telling her "no, it's a regular skirt".... she wouldn't budge on her view though... "no it's a kilt" she maintained.

So I guess with some people, a skirt ceases to be a skirt and becomes a kilt when it's worn by a man.

If money is tight, just choose a cheap basic thrift store skirt. Plain muted color, not too frilly or fancy, about to the knee. And it will look "kilt" enough to pass for most of the uninitiated. It will also help warm your old lady up to the thought of you in a skirt.

moonshadow wrote:
So I guess with some people, a skirt ceases to be a skirt and becomes a kilt when it's worn by a man.

If money is tight, just choose a cheap basic thrift store skirt. Plain muted color, not too frilly or fancy, about to the knee. And it will look "kilt" enough to pass for most of the uninitiated. It will also help warm your old lady up to the thought of you in a skirt.

People see what they want to see. If a man is wearing a kilt-like garment, it's a kilt. Can't be a skirt . . . it's being worn by a man.

I visited two local stores today, one a consignment shop and the other the local Salvation Army thrift store. I found nothing. Both had one rack of skirts, most of them much too small for me and the few that might have fit being dead ugly. It would appear that, at least in this area, skirts are not very popular. I had hoped that a side effect of that would be that they had all ended up in resale shops, but that does not appear to be the case. I will have to check out resale shops in other areas or go with new. I have not checked out the selection in traditional stores, but given that skirts are not worn much around here, I expect the selection to be abysmal.

I did buy a very nice blouse today at a store in Mall of America. Or I guess that if I wear it, it's a "shirt". I was looking specifically for something to wear at the beach. I started in the men's department but the selection was boring and the fit was poor. I asked the clerk who was helping me about something from the women's department, and although she was obviously uncomfortable offering me the choice, she found this silk blouse that I really liked. It's not outrageously loud, but it is a print that is muted but interesting. And it fits. It was MUCH more expensive than I wanted to pay, but it will look great with the skirts I have not yet found.

A trick I've used on occasion is to wear a sporran with a denim skirt. It completes the illusion that a skirt appears to be a kilt.

The other trick is to wear a tartan skirt and if you can find a tartan wrap skirt then that's as close to a kilt as you'll get without it being a kilt. Depression time again as I was forced into Primark by MOH supposedly for shopping for the holiday. The men's section was a sea of blacks, blues and browns with the odd grey highlight. Tried on a pair of skinny white trousers but the fit was terrible. The diagonal slash pockets bulged out at the mid-point of the pocket and looked awful. Par for the course really. I did get three Hawaiian shirts and two pairs of shorts, of which I only wanted the shirts, the shorts were to appease MOH.

Sinned, I like that style of skirt but didn't know they had a name so Thanks! Now, I know what to search for. I actually ebayed a skirt in this style but its a little snug. They really do look like kilts especially the ones with buckles.