Pleated Skirts

[Ray]

I feel your anguish.

When I met my (now) wife, I very quickly made it clear that I enjoyed fashion freedom. She’s absolutely accepting in the house; less so out and about (but so am I). She never puts her foot down as she knows I would ignore it, or forbid her from wearing trousers. For you, the momentum has built up - in the wrong direction.

I have no time for double standards or hypocrisy.

Hope it works out for you. Be strong in your convictions, but be aware of the bigger picture.

[Faldaguy]

‎ by Paul » Fri Dec 24, 2021 5:23 pm

She can be a bit strange on the subject. She’s known about me skirting since before we got married, I was up front about it to be fair and honest.
However she’s never allowed me to wear a skirt in front of her.. ever. But about ten years ago she introduced me to the world of sarongs while on holiday, I was blown away, since then I have bought going on 50 of them, mostly with encouragement from her
I have adapted them all to be a wrap skirt with ties, and so every holiday often 3 times a year abroad she accepted me wearing them around the hotels and going out for walks, I love them.

An aside: Bit of amusement as I hit "paste" to post your comment -- up came my prior copied item -- Master Brake Cylinder -- which may describe your wife! Actually, as in most of these things, the real brake cylinder comes from within us, our failure to have confidence, declare our needs and desires, be assertive.... the list goes on. We "blame" it on our spouses, bosses, friends, or JQ Public -- yet ultimately we make the choice. As yet, I've not seen an instance of the great dire consequences of we fret would come our way; no reports of spouses heading into the divorce court; nobody getting fired; nobody getting beat up.... (I say 'nobody' but like all things, there is probably an exceptions or two --maybe others here can report on first hand ACTUAL experience, not just suspicions and worries?) As others have said, a breakup over clothing choice seems pretty extreme regardless of who implements what part of it...but I suspect fear, threats, and reality are not often in alignment.

From what you've said, it sounds like her worry is what other people you know within the rigid definitions of your community standard -- as her attitude is obviously different when elsewhere. Have you asked her why the sarongs are OK in other settings; the Kilt at times; or at home? Then use that info as a means to discuss politely and rationally her concerns?

There is quite a bit on this topic within this forum, some may help. In my view, it mostly comes down to fear and angst -- and sometimes we project that fear onto others to cover for our own intimidation. Living in the closet is not healthy, fun, or constructive. At least declare yourself at home, and maybe some growth will occur for you both.

I have not seen an "introduction" from you -- you may wish to share some more there which can help you build some connections here with more "advise" than you'll ever want, some helpful -- some worth only the price paid!

Cheers,
FG

[Sinned]

I exclusively wear sarongs, folded lengthwise to form an above the knee "skirt", on holiday with my wife's begrudged approval. I even wore a sarong on the way back from holiday. I deliberately wore on the trip out a pair of white jeans that were a bit snug around the waist so that they would be too tight after overeating on the holiday. I enjoyed the experience but I'm not sure that the rest of my family did. Yesterday and today I have worn two xmas long sleeved swing dresses without a complaint from my wife.

[Paul]

I’ve always wanted to wear a red and white Santa dress, alas not to be.

Thank you for your feedback.

Take care.

[Faldaguy]

by Sinned » Sun Dec 26, 2021 4:17 pm

I exclusively wear sarongs, folded lengthwise to form an above the knee "skirt", on holiday with my wife's begrudged approval. I even wore a sarong on the way back from holiday. I deliberately wore on the trip out a pair of white jeans that were a bit snug around the waist so that they would be too tight after overeating on the holiday. I enjoyed the experience but I'm not sure that the rest of my family did. Yesterday and today I have worn two xmas long sleeved swing dresses without a complaint from my wife.

Hey, great news Dennis...sounds like a bit of progress, and though some of the family may have been a bit uneasy, I'm sure they saw a lot of "hey, nobody cares" this is not a big deal, and will relax a bit too. I do hope the Christmas, Boxing Day truce is a sign of more just holiday cheer.

Your "technique" for ditching the pants sounds a dash extreme but I concede an expanding waist, or even a shrinking one, has more than once been great justification to pick up a couple more items while away from home!

Cheers, FG