Recent frayed nerves

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Recent frayed nerves

Postby crfriend » Sun Jul 13, 2008 4:46 pm

Note: This is written from the viewpoint of both an individual contributor, and as a moderator. Caveat lecteur. It's also been split from the previous thread it was in and moved to this forum. If it looks familiar, that's why.

As one of the moderation team, I can certainly and unequivocally state that moderation effort has been way up over past few days. And it's been largely due to a tiny number of individuals who, it seems, either haven't familiarised themselves properly with the forum's history, its mores, or its culture, or are intent on sowing discontent. I'm not certain if SkirtCafe has gotten some ink (or electrons, more likely) spilled over it in the past couple of weeks, but there's been a tremendous uptick in user registrations, many of which indicate an interest in fetishes of one ilk or another. If anyone reading this knows from whence this uptick came, the moderation team would like to know so we can make the appropriate adjustments.

First and foremost, it must be borne in mind that SkirtCafe is not -- emphatically not -- a TV/TS forum; if you have those leanings, there are better resources available for you. The recent uptick in the number of posts regarding "feminisation" dovetails into this as that's one of the hallmarks of the TV/TS culture. We do not subscribe to that here: we fundamentally believe that all are equals -- men and women alike -- and that no advantage exists for being more "masculine" or "feminine" than anybody else. The notion of "superiority through feminisation" has no place here. Going forward, posts that explicitly refer to such behaviours or notions will be removed as they violate the ideals of equality and, hence, SkirtCafe policy.

Secondly, I invite everybody to re-read the general rules -- especially those having to do with "mutual respect"; that is an important tenet in SkirtCafe's culture. There has been far too much sniping and inter-personal conflict recently: this needs to stop. Details have been published on this.

Finally, this is a forum dedicated to the expansion of men's fashion through the inclusion of skirts and kilts in the everyday man's wardrobe: nothing more, nothing less. It's not about fantasy; it's not about fetish; and it's certainly not about trans-genderism -- it's about developing believeable and functional styles for men that will work in everyday life and not appear bizarre to the general populace.

Blue denotes edit of 2008-07-14
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Re: Recent frayed nerves

Postby Sarongman » Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:48 am

Thank you Carl. Would certain members PLEASE read,mark and inwardly digest the foregoing post!!
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Re: Recent frayed nerves

Postby imadube » Mon Jul 21, 2008 3:06 pm

Got a good point for some to digest here. However, I found - the hard way - that seprating us that simply want to add skirts and not be femme, gay or any other gender alteration venue - will not be easy at all. I found that if I go anywhere else on the net and try to mention skirting for men I get slammed with gay mail, nude pictures, offers for all kinds of sick stuff.
I think that these perceptions are here to stay and will never change.

My biggest question is if being gay is not about sex, then why do they "hunt" people down, flash nudes all over, and not just conduct themselves as regular people?
creepy either way.

Well, I hope this forum can be redirected to the main goal as well, but I feel that the elements of devienace will invade as they chose. Hope you guys in Moderation mode have enough time to catch it all.
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Re: Recent frayed nerves

Postby crfriend » Mon Jul 21, 2008 4:29 pm

I hope this forum can be redirected to the main goal as well, but I feel that the elements of devienace will invade as they chose. Hope you guys in Moderation mode have enough time to catch it all.


Actually, there's not a lot of the sorts of outright garbage you mention here. For the most part, until quite recently, things here have been very civilised and calm; what has happened over the past couple of weeks is really an aberration.
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Re: Recent frayed nerves

Postby Peter v » Mon Jul 21, 2008 6:43 pm

imadube wrote:Got a good point for some to digest here. However, I found - the hard way - that seprating us that simply want to add skirts and not be femme, gay or any other gender alteration venue - will not be easy at all. I found that if I go anywhere else on the net and try to mention skirting for men I get slammed with gay mail, nude pictures, offers for all kinds of sick stuff.
I think that these perceptions are here to stay and will never change.

My biggest question is if being gay is not about sex, then why do they "hunt" people down, flash nudes all over, and not just conduct themselves as regular people?
creepy either way.

Well, I hope this forum can be redirected to the main goal as well, but I feel that the elements of devienace will invade as they chose. Hope you guys in Moderation mode have enough time to catch it all.


I am sure that if you think even a monent about what you said, you may possibly come to the conclusion, that it is definitely not being Gay, Lesbian, Hetro or whatever else there is a name for, but what you mentioned has purely to do with oversexed respectless sick people. Nothing else. Where does all the other garbage, sex related etc come from? From all the "other" people, who are not Gay, etc etc, but the so-called "normal" people :shock: :shock: :shock: The garbage comes from a small percentage of all "categories" I would think.

Thankfully this forum is practically free of any such garbage. Which is one of the virtues of it. I didnt even think about that phenomenon until I read your post. It is garbage and should stay out of the cafe.
Last edited by Peter v on Fri Oct 31, 2008 10:18 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Recent frayed nerves

Postby Bri » Thu Oct 16, 2008 3:40 pm

It's also small adolescent behaviour that we're seeing. Someone's picking on the forum and waiting for a reaction that they hopefully never get. After that, they'll just give up and of course this will happen numerous times in the future. The idea of a long term forum is to keep the amount of rubbish to a minimum and have the people on the board fully understand that this stuff will happen.

However, if someone does chose to do something that makes them look a bit less "masculine" such as growing longer hair or whatever, that's fine!! We can't and don't all want to look like each other, even with skirts. Kind of the idea of the forum really.
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Re: Recent frayed nerves

Postby Skirt Chaser » Thu Oct 16, 2008 10:01 pm

Bri wrote:However, if someone does chose to do something that makes them look a bit less "masculine" such as growing longer hair or whatever, that's fine!!


My friend Robert is a transit operator and with thigh length hair held by an occasional sparkly ornament he has occasionally come across men remarking that he looks like a woman or appears gay. (One scowler went so far as to always wait for the next bus rather than board!) I'm fond of his oft used reply- "Why? You interested?" He often adds to the flustered passenger that women never have had trouble recognizing that he is a man. I find that is true here for me. All of you look like men. Just as you probably get points from women who see you in person in a skirt, any heels, hose, and handbags elicit similar reactions- how cool for a man to know items of clothes don't have girl cooties. :alien: And that there is nothing denigrating about being mistaken for a woman momentarily.
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Re: Recent frayed nerves

Postby Bob » Thu Oct 16, 2008 10:12 pm

If someone wants to wait for the next bus or train because they don't like the way the driver is dressed --- I say, let 'em.
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Re: Recent frayed nerves

Postby Skirt Chaser » Thu Oct 16, 2008 10:35 pm

Robert always took great pleasure in smiling and waving to that guy as he drove off. :lol: Now that he has a vintage streetcar it is a tourist run more than commuters and from all over the world they just think he looks the part of a San Francisco driver. He had fans among his bus regulars too. Once a middle schooler got on board remarking that it was the "gay bus" to his friends. That was a Monday. Tuesday the bus pulls up with a borrowed placard from the pride parade labeling the bus "Gay Parade". That lippy kid had to get off the bus at school each morning that week with his classmates seeing he did indeed ride the gay bus. 8)

Actually, that leads me to another point I forgot to put in earlier. Robert didn't bother to tell the kid he was straight. It was irrelevant, if Robert was assumed to be gay that was not a problem for him. Not that you guys shouldn't correct a salesperson who calls you Ma'am, but that you can't make people see things your way. You know you are a man and while it is a mistake if other people don't see it it is out of your control. Sure you can put an outfit together designed to be easier to immediately read as male but you shouldn't have to cater to what others will think. Wear what you like, it is what women often are able to do and it is a wonderful thing. Equality means men should too.
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Re: Recent frayed nerves

Postby Since1982 » Fri Oct 17, 2008 12:57 am

I've had maybe ONE person in my town ask me if I was gay cause I was wearing a skirt in 2 years. I have long blond hair, from shoulder to mid back between trims, have had it for 40 years, with ONE wild hair head shave about 10 years ago, which I hated. Most people now that see me, IF they notice my hair at all, are jealous of the fact I'm 66 and not all gray like them. I don't think any of it is such a big thing. I like the house rules. I try my best to abide by them. :hooray:
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Re: Recent frayed nerves

Postby Jack Williams » Fri Oct 31, 2008 9:51 am

Hi my great friends! Jack back. Thought at one stage i had ''over-posted'' the Site (could not always find my way back to update for instance!) However...This ''gender'' business is a bit of a human hang-up i guess. Everyone (i assume) knows what gender they are so what does that matter to other people? I think the only problem to arise is if one person reckons his should be pushed onto another who is quite satisfied with how (or who) he or she already is.// That out of the way, here is an update on skirt-wearing in Kelston, Auckland. New Zealand.(Probably the wrong ''stream'' as usual).Got my new nice denim skirt a few weeks ago and it has been normal garb with usual black t-shirt & army camo hat up to shops etc. most days. What i find is that people are more chatty. I am one who will say ''Gidday'' anyway but you notice more will say ''Morning'' first. Women beam (in their pants!) It's hillarious. Actual comments: Pacific woman in bank:''You've got a skirt! And not a lavalava!(Not that she'd seen me in one but obviosly many others)....My excellent next door neigbour Xu:(as i went by on the way to the morning paper) ''You've got a decent skirt!'' (She does see me in lava-lavas around here).Maori joker:''What costume is that!?'' ''New Zealand'' said i in a flash. There were a bunch of road workers (Pacific) the other day with trucks just finished standing on footpath except one in big jacket with orange visibility vest on top, and light cotton lava-lava material shorts dangling below the knees beneath,of blue with big white flowers. I thought nothing could look more ridicolous as i went through them. As they fell about laughing i thought it was a bit too ''put on'' sounding and they could have done a better acting job i thought. As i said, wearing a skirt in Kelston is a real hoot. More updates later but seems to have become pretty run-of-the-mill now.//A friend said''I'm not going out with you in a skirt!(never having seen it) but another friend said:''Where is the catalogue'' to get one. He reckoned a shorter line would better suit himself but his lady friend could sort that i guess along with the pockets.(I can't see him having my patience doing the pockets) One thing i thought of would be a perhaps shorter camo one. One would have to find suitable material though, same weight as the denim. Enough from me Jack.



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Last edited by Jack Williams on Sat Nov 29, 2008 1:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Recent frayed nerves

Postby AMM » Fri Oct 31, 2008 1:01 pm

Skirt Chaser wrote:And that there is nothing denigrating about being mistaken for a woman momentarily.

Although, given the way some people treat women, there may be other reasons for not wanting to be mistaken for a woman. (Sometimes even if you are one. :( )
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Re: Recent frayed nerves

Postby Jack Williams » Sat Nov 22, 2008 8:29 am

Jack back again. Well, as far as being mistaken for a person of the opposite gender goes, i guess i have not had the hair chopped since i was barred from flying to Singapore with it intact. That would have been about 1970 in Calcutta. However the whiskers (since 1964) are a dead giveaway! No.. no discernible connotations of other than ''normal'' masculinity at all. A feeling of perhaps wonder that i would have the bottle. I await the emerging courage! Actually i reckon it's a bit of an uphill battle as skirts seem to be in serious decline worldwide on both genders. I thought my friend Twink was right and a bit shorter would be better, especially with my short legs. So i have taken 3/12'' off. A lot better, looks, in the stride-past-glass-shopfront test but also for the actual striding.//While i think of it (and a lady member might be the one to shed light on it): Why do women have their zippers to the left and blokes to the right? I think the percentage of right handed to left handed people would be much the same so that's not it. Thoughts on this please. Jack.
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Re: Recent frayed nerves

Postby Since1982 » Sat Nov 22, 2008 9:45 am

With what recently happened in the USA voting, it's prop 8 I'm referring to, a proposition to stop gay or same sex marriages from being legal. I wonder if a skirted man with long hair and a short haired woman in pants would be barred from marrying even if they're not gay? Or even worse, a long haired man in a skirt and a long haired woman in a dress wanted to marry I wonder if the Religious Right would complain? hehehe I could see something about deuteronomy popping it's ugly head up yet again. :mrgreen:
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Re: Recent frayed nerves

Postby crfriend » Sat Nov 22, 2008 2:45 pm

Jack Williams wrote:[...] i was barred from flying to Singapore with [my hair] intact.

Mental note to self: "Stay away from Singapore" (unless they've lightened up a bit).

Actually i reckon it's a bit of an uphill battle as skirts seem to be in serious decline worldwide on both genders.

That just makes all the more reason for guys to adopt them now. Women seem to be abandoning the style in droves, so why should we not pick up the slack?

Why do women have their zippers to the left and blokes to the right? I think the percentage of right handed to left handed people would be much the same so that's not it. Thoughts on this please. Jack.
That's down to tradition and inertia. It's just the way it's always been, likely because women of the wealthy classes -- whom everybody tried to ape -- were typically dressed by servants, and the fasteners were designed for the servants' convenience. Men typically dressed themselves, so the fasteners on their garb was made convenient for them. I would think the "women's style" right-over-left would be better for lefties than righties (and I think goodness I'm ambi). Note, too, that women's denim skirts frequently have the men's-style fastening arrangement; one might argue that styles like that are true unisex garb.
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