AMM, who do you think may call you an old grump? Not me.
I am divorced, been so two and a half years now, and at the time of divorce and long after, skirt wearing was not an issue, so I can't ask my ex. Friends I don't have, except you lot, of course
A few aquaitances. In my aquaintances I don't have any situations that are suitable to ask "Why don't you want your husband to wear skirts". In any discussion I have with people, about skirt wearing, I do try to hear from women what they think about it, but generally all the women I talk to are enthousiastical; about my skirt wearing, so that is also not a suitable situation. I therefore react upon what I read on this forum. I would like to see many more men writing "I am not allowed to wear .....", and then ask them if they would ask their wives "can you tell me WHY? " This is meant to get a better understanding as to why women in general may think that way. And then with that knowledge try and do something about it. This does not mean that no one may have personal vieuws on issues without knowing why he or she thinks that way.
We know for a fact that many thoughts on different subjects are fixed thoughts, and were formed long ago. That does not mean that we cannot question them, and try to UNDERSTAND each other.
With all due respect, It is the vieuw that I think is stated here, that men seem to have to succum to what their wives think, meaning that possibly they will never be allowd to wear skirts. Depending on the relationship. Why do the men who state that think so? As seen form OUR standpoint, men who want to wear skirts, why not turn that around, and wear our skirts, and without being held back, wear skirts, while the wife gets used to the idea, or not as the case may be. All the while the husband not being impeded one bit. For some men it looks as if wearing a skirt is only putting on a piece of fabric, that is easily given up when the wife complains. (which she has the right to do) But I personally think there is more to wearing a skirt than that, and it is for those men that this discussion is important, it can be a personal freedom, which goes deeper than just a piece of cloth. Like walking all day in the rain, and not thinking anything of it, but when someone spits you directly in the face, it is not just a drip of water, but an extreme insult. You wear clothes all your life, but all at once another person stops you from wearing your choice, not only of clothing, but doesn't accept your identity.
Everybody has the right to feel the way they do. But should we accept (as I think is suggested in writings) that our wives at their discression determine for us when or if we may wear skirts? There also being no pre determined time scale, so the man is finally ready, possibly after taking half his life building up to it, and he may have to wait until he's 80 before his wife is finally decided about it.
Maybe the question should be:
"What should a partner be allowed to prevent the other from doing?"
"Should a partner be allowed to prevent someone from being his or her true self?"
In the marriage vouws there is nothing about not being allowed to change your outlook on life, or better said, not to develop yourself, or not change the clothes that you wear.
What does stand there somewhere, is that we should respect each other.
You can wear a skirt and respect the non understanding of your wife, and your wife can not understand but respect you, for who you are, and in that not do anything to keep you from wearing skirts.
I say that in principle, generally speaking of course, wives should not impede the husband's freedom, and his wearing of skirts. Which shall not say that she has to accept it for herself. She can take all the time in the world, but in the meantime, the husband should be able to go unhindered with his skirt wearing. Don't even mention egoistic. It is often a long road that was taken before men finally got that far, and the fact that is finally out and on the table, says enough, it is not just some whim, from him, but a way of life for him. It is then his freedom that is challenged and withheld.
I can only say these things in general as I see them, because every husband and wife situation is unique.
Luckily, in some cases, when the situation has been by hindsight suitable, in a relative short period of time, the couple have come so far that the at first not understanding wife and her unwillingness to allow the wearing of a skirt, has been eventually turned around to understanding and the husband has been "" allowed "" to wear skirts, at the discression of his wife.
Men who want to wear skirts do so not to shock any one, but for their own needs, as all other things they do in life.
There is no blame to anybody for thinking as they do. But there is a question in how far one has a right to prevent the other from doing something that is, or can be a life's neccessity. ( In finally being the person you really are )
When another person wants to keep you from being who you really are, that is very questionable.
This is not about men for whom skirt wearing is no issue, and don't give one iota if they do or don't, just another thing to do when they have done everything else.
I have read the answers, and getting people to take part in the discussion is a success, but please don't misinterpret to quickly what others write, and get all heated up about it. That's not what we want at all.
Understanding, that is what we want and need. Only by stating things we think, putting it down in writing, can we form our visions and move forward.
Peter v.
A man is the same man in a pair of pants or a skirt. It is only the way people look at him that makes the difference.
