My public journey #3 - Pushing the boundaries

[CamperGuy]

Last time I posted, it was about my first journey into London by public transport, wearing a black mini skirt and semi-opaque beige tights. Everything else was fairly masculine. I realised that you would have to look quite close to notice I was wearing a black skirt rather than black shorts (check yourself when you see a woman wearing a mid-thigh garment - with everything black, it isn't as easy to tell whether skirt or shorts), or to notice I was wearing tights. Of course, this doesn't sound like a problem: "Hey, if people don't notice me, then I can go about my business in my preferred outfit". But, it makes you think "yes, but have I 'got away with it' because no-one actually noticed what I wore; would there be a negative reaction if many more people noticed my clothing choices?".

Hence, I wanted to step it up a bit - in several stages. My feeling was that 1) this would test out whether people really would react, 2) allow me to enjoy trying more adventurous styles (get more of a rush from the risk I guess) and 3) if I start to feel I can "get away with" more adventurous clothing, then just going to the shops or lunch in a basic black mini and tights suddenly becomes something I can do with confidence with no more worries than if I were wearing trousers.

Here is what I did in a number of steps over maybe a year:

More visible tights:

Wearing black or effectively invisible tights is my default, but is also not very noticeable. So I tried some more obvious styles.

1. Grey textured tights with my usual black skirt. Worn to various places.

2. Black lace tights over opaque black tights - walked around a local high street. Much more feminine, but you would have to get close to notice though.

3. Black lace tights over opague grey tights - walked around a major shopping centre. This was a lot more visible and no-one could mistake me for wearing men's exercise leggings under shorts.

Trying a different mini skirt:

4. Beige A-line mini skirt with buttons down the front - visiting shops and the Wisley gardens. Where the black mini is styled like jeans with the usual jean pockets, and the colour makes it difficult to tell it is a skirt, there is no hiding a light coloured A-line that is closed with a virtical line of shiny buttons down the front!

Trying womens' shoes:

5. I bought some black ankle-strap ballet flats. Wore them with black tights. First in a local cafe, and then on a train trip to London. In the latter I wore the same black mini, with semi-sheer black tights (again a first, because it is obvious they are womens' tights, not exercise leggings). I initially chickened out and wore plimsoles, but then changed on the train when I realised no-one could see me where I was sat. I used the underground and visited museums a cafe and department stores in a clearly much more feminine combination that again, was much more obvious to anyone who looked.

6. I bought some grey T-strap closed-toe flats. Perfect fit (as were the above ballet flats). Again, very feminine. Wore them with grey tights to the supermarket.

Interacting more with people:

7. So far I'd had minimal interaction with people while dressed like this. I'd had to deal with sales staff at supermarkets, Halfords, B&Q, coffee shops, etc. But never at any length. These were interactions lasting seconds. I expanded this by first wearing my now usual black tights and black mini skirt (plimsoles and male top half) to the hospital for a scan. Hopefully I didn't make the staff feel uncomfortable. But it did show that, well, I am just me, whatever clothes I wear, and can hold my usual conversations with people. Thinking about this, I can have chatty conversations with doctors even during fairly intimate examinations - maybe that is a sign of age, when you are no longer self-conscious about being naked in front of medics.

8. Expanding on the above, I had an eye test booked. Again, that meant staying in the same place for over 30 minutes and dealing with several people face to face. I stepped up the clothing combination and wore the grey T-straps flats, with light-grey ribbed woolen tights and the black mini skirt. All interactions with everyone were completely normal. So I went for a coffee afterwards, and then went to a local bike shop and spoke to the owner. The staff in the bike shop did a slight double-take, but that was it. Then again, given modern cycling gear, it would be a case of the pot calling the kettle black to point out that I was dressed strangely.

Ramping up the Womens' shoes:

9. What I hadn't tried so far was heels. I found a used pair of really nice, black, block-heel (about 2.5 inch), suede, closed-toe, T-strap shoes. Wonderful fit, and I feel they look really good on me, especially with some black ribbed tights. So, took these out to a visit to a supermarket and a short walk down the highstreet of a local town in them and my beige A-line mini skirt. Fantastic feeling! And again, no obvious reaction from anyone. I'm sure there were a load of double-takes, maybe even some people mumbling to each other, and undoubtedly people telling their friends what they saw in town today, but to my face / in ear-shot, nothing!

I think I said it before, but if you look confident, that puts people on the back foot - scammers use confidence to trick otherwise sensible people out of their money, so we are easily fooled by confident people, and I think that has a big impact. Plus, the second fear is "how will this person react if I say anything / react in any way?". If you are not skulking around looking weak and defensive, people may be concerned you could turn aggressive! This combination likely keeps them quiet.

So, I will say, I am really enjoying my skirting experiences, and enjoying experiencing them in more places. It goes to show that those initial fears we have are pretty much unfounded. Behave normally, behave with confidence and I also think, put together an outfit that looks good on you, and you will get away with anything!

Cheers,

Camperguy.

[DrFishnets]

Nice one! You’re getting as brave as me now. I’ve started going to Doctors appointments wearing skirts and fishnet tights. I was at my optician just recently wearing a long black tiered skirt and 10 denier black tights. No one batted an eyelid at both the Doctors and optician. As for wearing tights I have got more daring and creative with my tights as I wear black lace tights, fishnet tights and 10 denier ultra sheer tights. Black tights are my default too. I also like being creative with my hosiery amd layering tights with thicker tights or leggings. I’m even considering wearing stockings and suspenders with my skirt oitfits.

[Mouse]

.....So, I will say, I am really enjoying my skirting experiences, and enjoying experiencing them in more places. It goes to show that those initial fears we have are pretty much unfounded. Behave normally, behave with confidence and I also think, put together an outfit that looks good on you, and you will get away with anything!

Confidence is the key and remember you have a right to be treated well, however you dress, assuming you are decent.

I also think that dressing differently gives you a certain edge, when meeting new people. I often use the initial reaction to me, to offer a handshake and introduce myself, which seems to work well in most new situations.

[Faldaguy]

.. Behave normally, behave with confidence and I also think, put together an outfit that looks good on you, and you will get away with anything!

Confidence is the key and remember you have a right to be treated well, however you dress, assuming you are decent.

I also think that dressing differently gives you a certain edge, when meeting new people. I often use the initial reaction to me, to offer a handshake and introduce myself, which seems to work well in most new situations.

I whole-heartedly concur with normal behavior and confidence as keys. As Mouse says, often the different dress gives you an edge -- kind of like the Harley guys or chaps openly carrying a weapon cause a moment of pause; any confident dude in a skirt comes across as a guy with the balls to stand his ground -- and a handshake is usually a great ice breaker and a courteous signal of being an ordinary bloke.

In opposition to this, but hard to assess accurately as the times and cultures have changed -- but in some circles here men do exchange hugs, though most still stick to a handshake or shoulder slap, however I've recently had a couple of hugs of greeting from men too....for whatever it may mean. I sure don't look like an appealing female, the guys are not gay, trans, or ----- just other men, for whatever it may mean, if anything at all.

Good going Camperguy, thanks for sharing.

[CamperGuy]

Nice one! You’re getting as brave as me now. I’ve started going to Doctors appointments wearing skirts and fishnet tights. I was at my optician just recently wearing a long black tiered skirt and 10 denier black tights. No one batted an eyelid at both the Doctors and optician. As for wearing tights I have got more daring and creative with my tights as I wear black lace tights, fishnet tights and 10 denier ultra sheer tights. Black tights are my default too. I also like being creative with my hosiery amd layering tights with thicker tights or leggings. I’m even considering wearing stockings and suspenders with my skirt oitfits.

Yes, I've been to doctors appointments with tights and shorts, but I think next time I need to go I will prioritise wearing a skirt.

I prefer tights to stockings, but one option would be grey tights with black fishnet stockings over them. I have a nice suspender belt with 6 suspenders. It's a good quality piece of kit.

Cheers,
Camperguy

[CamperGuy]

.....So, I will say, I am really enjoying my skirting experiences, and enjoying experiencing them in more places. It goes to show that those initial fears we have are pretty much unfounded. Behave normally, behave with confidence and I also think, put together an outfit that looks good on you, and you will get away with anything!

Confidence is the key and remember you have a right to be treated well, however you dress, assuming you are decent.

I also think that dressing differently gives you a certain edge, when meeting new people. I often use the initial reaction to me, to offer a handshake and introduce myself, which seems to work well in most new situations.

Good point Mouse about having the right to be treated well, although not that I can complain, since I have had more smiles from women when dressed in a skirt than I ever have when dressed in 100% male garments.

You also make a good point about meeting new people. Let's say I decided to join an art class. Although it would be nerve-racking on day 1, I suspect the right thing to do would be to arrive skirted from the get go. That way people get to know you only in that attire. It then also opens the door to future social interactions with those people at different venues while skirted, which would likely be much more difficult with people who already know you.

Cheers,
Steve.

[CamperGuy]

...any confident dude in a skirt comes across as a guy with the balls to stand his ground -- and a handshake is usually a great ice breaker and a courteous signal of being an ordinary bloke.

I agree. There is that combination of behaving confidently enough to indicate you are normal in every respect apart from your attire, and also confident enough that people would pause before making rude comments given you do not look like a weak likely-target.

Cheers,
Camperguy