Being fired for not conforming to masculine stereotypes

Advocacy for men wearing skirts and Clippings from news sources involving fashion freedom and other gender equality issues.
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crfriend
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Re: Being fired for not conforming to masculine stereotypes

Post by crfriend »

Myopic Bookworm wrote: Mon Feb 17, 2025 8:43 pm“Judges aren’t allowed to control the executive branch’s legitimate power.” JD Vance, 9 Feb 2025.
JD is flat wrong. The courts are there to intervene when they detect illegal actions being undertaken by the Executive Branch.

Or that's the way it's supposed to work in a Constitutional republic. The problem is that the USA has been post-Constitutional since the 1980s when then-president Reagan declared the Constitution "an inconvenient document" and started the slide that ultimately resulted in little Donny Trump and his pet muskrat.
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Re: Being fired for not conforming to masculine stereotypes

Post by Yonkas »

kingfish wrote: Sun Feb 16, 2025 4:06 pm About 25 some-odd years ago, I remember reading about a truck driver who got spotted by his company cross-dressing during his off-time (around where he lives), getting fired for it, suing for wrongful termination, and losing.

We've come quite a way from those days. Unfortunately, I think that the whole gender spectrum thing has been used to politicize the subject. It has been used to promote tribal attitudes among those who don't identify with the stereotypes attached to our reproductive configuration. Then those "tribes" were encouraged to demand what in centuries past would have been seen as tyrannical behavior.

I'm talking about alternate pronouns and the enforcement of their use. That practice, highlighted loudest by Jordan Peterson's reaction to that compelled speech, has heralded the backlash that we are now seeing. The really annoying part is that the current administration is pandering to their side by enabling what amounts to vengeful retribution. He's making rulings that bolster what the enbys call the "cisgendereds" at the enby's (and our) expense. This irritates me to no end because it continues to promote the division between the two tribes.

We also end up in the target zone of this retribution simply because look like we're part of the enby tribe. If only those Republi-can't(s) would realize that they could win over many of those enby types by encouraging and protecting sex based stereotype non-conformity.

And I think that most of the right-leaning people would go along with it. I've gone skrited in the wilds of West Texas, specifically Amarillo and the suburb where my father grew up. I will say, without equivocation that, when I disavowed my affiliation with the enby crowd (and their tyrannical ways) and declared my affiliation with the concepts of liberty and individualism, I received at most mild disapproval regarding what I was wearing. In short, they really identified with following the beat of your own drum.

It's only been a handful of generations since the people who fled to the region did so because they hated being told how to live. That hasn't been fully forgotten.
Even if "skirts for male-presenting individuals" had not been coopted into trans rights, the same people decrying "enforcement of pronouns" would decry "enforcement of toleration of male skirt wearing." It's not about inconvenience. After all, encountering a trans-person is so infrequent for most people as to virtually not affect their well-being on-way-or another. Further, interactions in which the non-trans individual is "burdened" by having to use the pronouns that respect the others' identity happen even less frequently (and that's not even taking into account the cases involving using the correct pronouns for (perceived) gender non-conforming, but non-trans individuals).

No, it's not about pronouns. It's about not tolerating anything that challenges the rich, "white", heterosexual male hedgemony. Trans people are just convenient punching bags, because it's easy to "other" them. If trans people were to disappear overnight, these sticks-in-the-mud just pick some other group to complain about.

----

On a personal note, I recently learned that my next-door neighbor is non-binary, and goes by "they/their/them," after knowing them for approximately a year as a male. While I can't say I am surprised by this revelation, I still have to expend extra effort to address them properly, and will likely continue to mistakenly use the wrong pronoun for a while longer. But, in the list of things that contribute to my daily mental load, that particular obligation ranks negligibly low--right there with making sure that I identify whether a space is designated handicapped before I park there, making sure I don't stare at another person's deformity, respecting another person's religious practices, or ascertaining whether I should hold the door open for a person.

My point is that the burden of using the preferred pronoun--at least for people that practice acceptance and toleration of individual differences--takes about as much effort as any other act of treating a member of a minority with dignity and respect--unless you happen to be intolerant.
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Re: Being fired for not conforming to masculine stereotypes

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The problem with the "preferred pronoun" argument is that pronouns are part of the lexical structure of the language and NOT for individual interpretation. "He" and "his" refer to a male or a male's property. "She" and "hers" refer similarly to a female. The third, "their" is appropriate when the distinction is either unknown or unimportant. English also has a very useful entirely neutral, "it" and "its".

Changing lexical structure to appease a tiny minority of the population merely decreases the usefulness of the language and makes things more confusing when trying to communicate. Full stop. I'm getting sick of the PC pandering.

Yes, I know that languages evolve. But they do not need to be forcefully coerced into changing to pander to a tiny subset of the users.

I personally know a couple of transgender folks, one's a F-M (and a perfectly adjusted tomboy who wanted to "take it to the next level") and the other's a M-F who's undergone the various surgeries and hormone treatments. I get on with them as male and female, respectively, and use the pronouns for male and female with no difficulty,

Life is complex enough already. We do not need to make it more-so without damned good reason.
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Re: Being fired for not conforming to masculine stereotypes

Post by kingfish »

Yonkas wrote: Wed Feb 19, 2025 8:02 pm
No, it's not about pronouns. It's about not tolerating anything that challenges the rich, "white", heterosexual male hedgemony. Trans people are just convenient punching bags, because it's easy to "other" them. If trans people were to disappear overnight, these sticks-in-the-mud just pick some other group to complain about.
I agree, it is easy to "other" just about any group given a convenient label. L,G,B,T,Q,I,A, all the +'s, cis, straight, male, female, Black, Hispanic, Asian, White, bourgeoisie, and even sticks-in-the-mud, are all labels. Once assigned, it then becomes easy to de-humanize them. And then it becomes easy to oppress them.

I also agree that it's not about the pronouns. I think it's about the separation, dehumanization and antagonization of the "othered" group(s).

It's the old political tactic called "Divide and conquer".
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Re: Being fired for not conforming to masculine stereotypes

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crfriend wrote: Wed Feb 19, 2025 11:28 pm The problem with the "preferred pronoun" argument is that pronouns are part of the lexical structure of the language and NOT for individual interpretation. "He" and "his" refer to a male or a male's property. "She" and "hers" refer similarly to a female. The third, "their" is appropriate when the distinction is either unknown or unimportant. English also has a very useful entirely neutral, "it" and "its".
They are, though, in practice, and that’s what matters in day-to-day interactions. There are many cases, where it is easy to misgender somebody. All you need is a feminine enough looking male wearing conventionally feminine clothes, or, conversely, a masculine enough looking female wearing conventionally male clothes, or even an amibiguously presenting, but male (or female) person, and pronouns, in practice, become highly subjective.

Further, there are males with gynecomastia easily mistaken for elderly women, and females that grow beards, easily mistaken for transmen (or transwomen, depending on their features).

But even if we were to ignore these departures from conventional gender appearance/presentation that force the identifier to defer to the non-conforming individual for lack of information, and restrict ourselves only to those cases where we know another’s biological sex for certain, that still doesn’t change the fact that a pronoun is a matter of identity, not a matter of biology.

And, of course, you might disagree, and argue that, no “he” refers to “biological male”, while, “she” refers to biological female, but let me challenge that.

To wit, how is that even a useful distinction to make? In practice, when you think about a “woman,” you’re not thinking, “a person with xx chromosomes.”. You are thinking about a person, who acts functionally like a woman in some respect. And no, it had nothing necessarily to do with breasts, vaginas, or uteruses, because not all women have those things.

Indeed, with the exception of the uterus, not even possessing those sexual characteristics guarantees that the owner IS a biological woman.

So, frankly, in practice, these pronouns refer far more to expected social behaviors and traits rather than genetics. I mean, hell, these pronouns existed long before anybody knew what genes, or x/y chromosomes even are.

So, if you want to take the approach that “we shouldn’t alter meaning,” then at least be consistent, and respect that these pronouns were never meant to refer to genetic makeup, but to social traits and behaviors.

But then, this is exactly what trans-people are asking for: to be referred to in the sense of traits and behavior, rather than out of some weird preoccupation with genitalia, or chromosomes (that I might add is considered archaic by today’s state of scientific knowledge).

I would also like to add that focusing on a person’s genitalia, or chromosomal makeup, rather than their identity objectifies them, especially in consideration of the fact that gender (an identity) IS distinct from sex.

In summation, it’s not about you, or how you feel chromosomes map to sex (which, honestly is a really simplistic way of looking at sex). It’s about who they are.
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Re: Being fired for not conforming to masculine stereotypes

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Yonkas wrote: Thu Feb 20, 2025 5:21 am
In summation, it’s not about you, or how you feel chromosomes map to sex (which, honestly is a really simplistic way of looking at sex). It’s about who they are.
I understand what you are doing but in practice it becomes a minefield of potential insults if we get it wrong.

The argument (im not a women so cant say for sure) by some born women is it is an attack on womenhood. Men are assuming female characteristics that "belong" to women. Nobody is really bothered if women take on male characteristics.

Personally i think the chromosomal way of looking at things is a valid way of thinking. We start out as female. As such our roots lie in the female and we have every right to embody the same things women do. Its personal choice.

It is the use of labels that separate men and women when we belong together. Further separation with more and more sub-labels (pronouns) will only serve to further separate men and women.

I understand the need to self identify when the person doesnt fit the binary. But rather than create more and more categories we should retire the use of the binary. This will be seen as an attack on womenhood or even manhood. The circular argument goes around again.
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Re: Being fired for not conforming to masculine stereotypes

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Yonkas wrote: Thu Feb 20, 2025 5:21 amSo, frankly, in practice, these pronouns refer far more to expected social behaviors and traits rather than genetics. I mean, hell, these pronouns existed long before anybody knew what genes, or x/y chromosomes even are.
And they have served us well throughout that time. It's only recently that very shrill pressure-groups have decided to break the language; it seems we're playing, "If it ain't broke, BREAK IT".

In practise, once you're close enough to read the "preferred pronouns" on the name-tag you're going to have a pretty good idea anyway -- and once you're that close you've also got the name (although that's not 100% any more). And, in any event, civil people will apologise if they've goofed and that'll be that. If one gets attacked because of an honest goof, it tells one that he's dealing with an uncivilised zealot who can be ignored.
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Re: Being fired for not conforming to masculine stereotypes

Post by rode_kater »

Barleymower wrote: Thu Feb 20, 2025 8:06 am I understand what you are doing but in practice it becomes a minefield of potential insults if we get it wrong.
Who is being potentially being insulted here?
Barleymower wrote: Thu Feb 20, 2025 8:06 am The argument (im not a women so cant say for sure) by some born women is it is an attack on womenhood.
It seem you are suggesting that some women are "insulted" by the pronoun you use for someone else. That's childish behaviour which should be ignored.
Actual trans-people are not going to complain about an incorrect pronoun because it would probably (in America) get them shot. They have much much bigger issues on their hands.

Though I guess it's the same group of people that get "offended" by someone else's choice whether they want children or not, what clothing they wear or because some person dares to have a different religion from them..
Barleymower wrote: Thu Feb 20, 2025 8:06 am It is the use of labels that separate men and women when we belong together. Further separation with more and more sub-labels (pronouns) will only serve to further separate men and women.
Gendered pronouns are a feature of many (most?) languages. If your argument is you want to abolish gendered pronouns altogether, that's an even bigger ask.
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Re: Being fired for not conforming to masculine stereotypes

Post by Barleymower »

Rk
1. Those of us who use alternative pronouns can feel insulted if others dont respect their pronouns.
2. I am not suggesting that women are insulted by pronouns. They insulted by terms like "her penis".
3. I am saying there is too much emphasis on the differences between men and women. Rather than bringing people together it is driving us further apart.
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Re: Being fired for not conforming to masculine stereotypes

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Barleymower wrote: Thu Feb 20, 2025 7:21 pm Rk
1. Those of us who use alternative pronouns can feel insulted if others dont respect their pronouns.
2. I am not suggesting that women are insulted by pronouns. They insulted by terms like "her penis".
3. I am saying there is too much emphasis on the differences between men and women. Rather than bringing people together it is driving us further apart.
I completely agree with this response. Especially #3.
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Re: Being fired for not conforming to masculine stereotypes

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jamie001 wrote: Wed Feb 26, 2025 3:38 am
Barleymower wrote: Thu Feb 20, 2025 7:21 pm Rk
1. Those of us who use alternative pronouns can feel insulted if others dont respect their pronouns.
2. I am not suggesting that women are insulted by pronouns. They insulted by terms like "her penis".
3. I am saying there is too much emphasis on the differences between men and women. Rather than bringing people together it is driving us further apart.
I completely agree with this response. Especially #3.
Thanks Jamie, mankind seems to be in termoil over very simple principles.
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Re: Being fired for not conforming to masculine stereotypes

Post by Layne »

Moonshadow - your framing of your understanding of the story feels a bit disingenuous.

You note that he “conformed” when at work, but failed to conform when he was called in for a meeting on a day off? Was he not then at work?

It seems as though we have addressed similar concerns in the past; but it appears (to me) that it’s not freedom to wear what you choose that you desire (as you already have that) - you seem to want freedom from any consequences.

Further it seems that you desire to live free of any consequences - but insist that there be consequences for anyone that doesn’t share your position?

I’m not a fan of the need to conform - but understand that there might be times and places where I should.
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Re: Being fired for not conforming to masculine stereotypes

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Layne wrote: Wed Feb 26, 2025 7:19 pmMoonshadow - your framing of your understanding of the story feels a bit disingenuous.

You note that he “conformed” when at work, but failed to conform when he was called in for a meeting on a day off? Was he not then at work?
If he was demanded on one of his days off, then he was serving, likely, on his own time because most everybody in the USA is now on salary and thus "exempt" from receiving overtime.

I behaved in a similar way when demanded at work on a very nice warm Saturday sometime back in the 2000s when I got an urgent demand to IMMEDIATELY SHOW UP AND FIX THE COMPUTER ROOM PROBLEMS. I wore the skirt I was wearing at the time into work, quite literally as a way of raising my middle finger high for a self-inflicted injury caused by lack of Management (Dilbert-style capitalisation there!) planning. I mopped up the mess in fairly short order, sacrificing some lesser systems to shed electrical load, verified that all was operational, then made the rounds around the place to see what else was remiss.

This likely offended the corporate psychopath who I had to work under at the time. I do not know if it contributed to my ultimate demise at the company, but I'm now slightly sorry I didn't take the action I was contemplating at the time.

But, after that, I figured skirts were fair game and went for it. And there wasn't so much as one whiff of disingenuousness about it.
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Re: Being fired for not conforming to masculine stereotypes

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crfriend wrote: Mon Feb 17, 2025 10:32 pm
Myopic Bookworm wrote: Mon Feb 17, 2025 8:43 pm“Judges aren’t allowed to control the executive branch’s legitimate power.” JD Vance, 9 Feb 2025.
JD is flat wrong. The courts are there to intervene when they detect illegal actions being undertaken by the Executive Branch.

Or that's the way it's supposed to work in a Constitutional republic. The problem is that the USA has been post-Constitutional since the 1980s when then-president Reagan declared the Constitution "an inconvenient document" and started the slide that ultimately resulted in little Donny Trump and his pet muskrat.
Dunce may be wrong, but, he knows he and his administration from hell has a corrupted SCOTUS on his side to rule in their favor.
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Re: Being fired for not conforming to masculine stereotypes

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Layne wrote: Wed Feb 26, 2025 7:19 pm Further it seems that you desire to live free of any consequences - but insist that there be consequences for anyone that doesn’t share your position?
I have reviewed every post I've made on this topic, and I am left wondering, what have I said to bring you to this conclusion?

It seems there is a significant misunderstanding regarding the nature of my character and my expectations regarding social behavior, I'd like the opportunity to remedy that, but I need to know exactly what I said to draw this accusation. Do tell?
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