Cafe Etiquette

General discussion of skirt and kilt-based fashion for men, and stuff that goes with skirts and kilts.
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crfriend
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Re: Cafe Etiquette

Post by crfriend »

Barleymower wrote: Sat Aug 24, 2024 4:57 pmWhat's your view on women's wear? And people using the term here? I've made my feeling clear in this thread.
I view the term as outdated, and we can let it go at that.

Yes, some people do seem to push that view, and that view is counter to what our mission statement is. Degender the skirt. Make it as "unisex" as jeans.
What does bother me is there are now several items of what used to be menswear no long available in men's cuts. If that's the case I'm happy to stroll on over and reclaim them.
As is your fundamental right. Why not skirts as well?
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Uncle Al
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Re: Cafe Etiquette

Post by Uncle Al »

To convey a message the written word is, usually, different than the spoken word.
In a conversation over the back fence you have voice inflections and facial expressions
to help convey meaning. The written word does not have that freedom or flexibility.

When it comes to Cafe' Etiquette, respect the written word :!:

Please proof-read your posts.

Check your spelling for typo's.

Check for missing words.

Reading these 'gaffs', over the past several months, get quite difficult,
trying to understand what the writer is saying.

Uncle Al
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Kilted Organist/Musician
Grand Musician of the Grand Lodge, I.O.O.F. of Texas 2008-2025
When asked 'Why the Kilt?'
I respond-The why is F.T.H.O.I. (For The H--- Of It)
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Barleymower
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Re: Cafe Etiquette

Post by Barleymower »

crfriend wrote: Sat Aug 24, 2024 11:21 pm
Barleymower wrote: Sat Aug 24, 2024 4:57 pmWhat's your view on women's wear? And people using the term here? I've made my feeling clear in this thread.
I view the term as outdated, and we can let it go at that.

Yes, some people do seem to push that view, and that view is counter to what our mission statement is. Degender the skirt. Make it as "unisex" as jeans.
What does bother me is there are now several items of what used to be menswear no long available in men's cuts. If that's the case I'm happy to stroll on over and reclaim them.
As is your fundamental right. Why not skirts as well?
I agree that any phase like men's wear or women's wear is outdated. I don't use either term or terms like it myself unless making a point such as "women's wear is not just for women". I'm also not precious about it. I don't mind what words people use, it woukd be too frustrating
.
For example my wife likes wearing men's shirts. She likes the cut and the cloth. That set me thinking. I like women's and men's wear I like to combine them in ways that suit me.
crfriend wrote: Sat Aug 24, 2024 11:21 pm As is your fundamental right. Why not skirts as well?
Absolutely! All my my skirt collection is from the other side of the isle.
STEVIE
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Re: Cafe Etiquette

Post by STEVIE »

My own views on the amount of words we frankly waste around here needs no repeating.
Maybe, just maybe, the cafe should become a place where we should just be able to shout out "I wear skirts because..................".
What comes in the blank is really of no consequence to anyone else, member or moderator alike, face facts, no one else out there gives a damn about what goes on in Skirtcafe any way.
In the years that I have been openly skirted, I have discovered that thoughtless compliments are just a sign of tolerance at best and lies at the worst.
Criticism can be highly damaging, but when constructive, it is the best indicator of true acceptance that I have found so far.
The worst of this has certainly come from other guys, even cafe members on some occasions.
"Tolerance is being invited to the party, acceptance is being asked to dance"
Steve.
Ray
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Re: Cafe Etiquette

Post by Ray »

Uncle Al wrote: Sun Aug 25, 2024 6:20 am To convey a message the written word is, usually, different than the spoken word.
In a conversation over the back fence you have voice inflections and facial expressions
to help convey meaning. The written word does not have that freedom or flexibility.

When it comes to Cafe' Etiquette, respect the written word :!:

Please proof-read your posts.

Check your spelling for typo's.

Check for missing words.

Reading these 'gaffs', over the past several months, get quite difficult,
trying to understand what the writer is saying.

Uncle Al
:mrgreen: :ugeek: :mrgreen:
Sorry, Al, I had to smile when you typed, “check your spelling for typo’s”. You missed the little apostrophe that slipped in there. Maybe you didn’t check… ;-)
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Mouse
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Re: Cafe Etiquette

Post by Mouse »

I think we have to remember that not all members have English as their first language. I would rather hear from them in the English they have, rather than have them put off contributing, fearing their English is not up to scratch for the cafe.

As for criticism of my fellow skirt wearers, again the fact that they have put up a picture takes courage that I want to help rather than knock down.

I have found that in my own picture posting, asking questions "what do the members think?" normally gains more responses than a post with no question.

On the subject of criticism, you all can have free range of my picture pages, I know some do not approve of my latex or my high heels, however the person I am trying to please is a 6 year old boy who realised that the girls got to wear all the interesting clothes and shoes, and he got a boring selection.

I said in my first post in my pictures area http://www.skirtcafe.org/forums/viewtopic.php?t=24615
Anyway, please enjoy, comment, criticise, question. I however reserve the right to wear what ever I like....
Daily, a happy man in a skirt...
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Uncle Al
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Re: Cafe Etiquette

Post by Uncle Al »

Yes Ray, :oops: the plural of TYPO is TYPOS.
I have a 'habit' of adding the apostrophe when making words possessive,
and that non-intended punctuation will, occasionally, happen.

My mind doesn't see it all the time.

Old Age, my friend :) Old Age.

Uncle Al
:mrgreen: :ugeek: :mrgreen:
Kilted Organist/Musician
Grand Musician of the Grand Lodge, I.O.O.F. of Texas 2008-2025
When asked 'Why the Kilt?'
I respond-The why is F.T.H.O.I. (For The H--- Of It)
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Uncle Al
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Re: Cafe Etiquette

Post by Uncle Al »

Mouse wrote: Sun Aug 25, 2024 9:55 am I think we have to remember that not all members have English as their first language. I would rather hear from them in the English they have, rather than have them put off contributing, fearing their English is not up to scratch for the cafe.
Don't you think I take that into consideration :?:

My comments were, primarily, directed to native English speakers.

I applaud members who make the effort to communicate in English.

Many times, immersion into a new language is the best way to learn.
Many, many years ago, a friend - who was divorced - said that when her (then) husband
was stationed in Germany, she had to learn the language real quick if she wanted to eat.


Uncle Al
:mrgreen: :ugeek: :mrgreen:
Kilted Organist/Musician
Grand Musician of the Grand Lodge, I.O.O.F. of Texas 2008-2025
When asked 'Why the Kilt?'
I respond-The why is F.T.H.O.I. (For The H--- Of It)
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Mouse
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Re: Cafe Etiquette

Post by Mouse »

Uncle Al wrote: Sun Aug 25, 2024 11:16 am Don't you think I take that into consideration :?:
I have conversed with a member who told me how hard he found it communicating in English. He occasionally gets words wrong and odd punctuation, but I commend him for communicating with me in my own language when I would be hopeless at trying to use his.

I just wanted to publicly note that some members are working hard just to post some words to the forum and to give them space and encouragement.
Daily, a happy man in a skirt...
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Barleymower
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Re: Cafe Etiquette

Post by Barleymower »

STEVIE wrote: Sun Aug 25, 2024 7:53 am Maybe, just maybe, the cafe should become a place where we should just be able to shout out "I wear skirts because..................".

no one else out there gives a damn about what goes on in Skirtcafe any way.

Criticism can be highly damaging, but when constructive, it is the best indicator of true acceptance that I have found so far.
Steve I've filtered out the bits I would like to reply to.
I would like to see more openness about why we do what we do. I think for many it's a bitter pill so they stick to saying things like "it's for comfort".

That's right nobody cares except us about what goes on in the skirt cafe. We are few and yet somehow fail to properly support each other.

Honestly is the best policy for sure. That is until someone levys criticism on me! I hope I can take criticism in whatever form. I think those who criticise should have a better suggestion rather than just say "no".
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crfriend
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Re: Cafe Etiquette

Post by crfriend »

Mouse wrote: Sun Aug 25, 2024 2:52 pmI have conversed with a member who told me how hard he found it communicating in English. He occasionally gets words wrong and odd punctuation, but I commend him for communicating with me in my own language when I would be hopeless at trying to use his.
This is a fairly common failing in the English-speaking world and especially in the USA. I occasionally fall into it as well, and try not to be too much of a stickler. English is but one of hundreds of different languages, written and spoken, across the globe, and it's useful to have at least smatterings of others -- and even better to be multi-lingual.

In this regard, I tend to use the old dictum of "Be liberal in what one accepts and be conservative in what one transmits." -- and this is NOT to be perceived using the "new" definitions of those words! (One of the reasons I detest the corrosive corruption of the language to suit the goals of pressure groups) Accept that those whom one communicates with are human, and humans commit gaffes from time to time (heck, I do!), so get over that fact and get what you can out of the writing.
I just wanted to publicly note that some members are working hard just to post some words to the forum and to give them space and encouragement.
And, if English is not their primary language, kudos to them! They usually do better with English than I would in non-English.
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
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Fred in Skirts
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Re: Cafe Etiquette

Post by Fred in Skirts »

I have had to learn how to read Items written by none English speaking people. I had to learn this because I was writing to several people in other lands about their model trains and their train pictures. Some times it was easy to figure out what they meant and other times, OH BOY it would take me a while to get what they meant by their words. So I am not bothered by missing words and misspellings. I am just happy that the folks are communicating with me. :D
The same goes for all of the folks here at the Cafe, please do not stop writing even if your English is not perfect, I know mine isn't all of the time and I was born in an English speaking country. :lol:
"It is better to be hated for what you are than be loved for what you are not" Andre Gide: 1869 - 1951
Always be yourself because the people that matter don’t mind and the ones that mind don’t matter. :ugeek:
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Re: Cafe Etiquette

Post by Ray »

Al,

A lovely response, sir.

Ray
Grok
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Re: Cafe Etiquette

Post by Grok »

Mouse wrote: Sun Aug 25, 2024 9:55 am I think we have to remember that not all members have English as their first language. I would rather hear from them in the English they have, rather than have them put off contributing, fearing their English is not up to scratch for the cafe.


I have found that in my own picture posting, asking questions "what do the members think?" normally gains more responses than a post with no question.

I welcome their in put. I accept that they have difficulties in communicating-for the average adult mastering a foreign language is a challenge.

Asking "what do members think" is a good idea. It gives others permission to give constructive criticism.
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