Encouragement

[Uncle Al]

Snoopy for who you are JPG 2024-02-16.jpg

Anyone have other thoughts

Unle Al

[Ozdelights]

Mostly, but it's good when someone inspires me to be a better me. I guess i'm still me.

[crfriend]

I need to heed that advice with greater rigour. The repeated attempts by my recent attempted partner to "change" finally pushed me away enough that it's likely permanent. (Well, that and the scene caused by a temper tantrum when I wasn't expecting to pay a second check to cover her drinks.)

I reiterated the story I've already told her three or four times in response to the demand to "change" -- I've been down that primrose path before, and it left me crying for a week because when I saw my reflection in the mirror in the morning it wasn't a familiar visage, it was that of a Corporate Criminal and all-around loser. And it took years to recover from it.

Last night, I got a chance to chat with her "co-conspirator" on the "makeover" theme -- and in spite of the fact that I was still hurt and furious managed to gently tell the "primrose path" story and what the long-term fallout was -- a dead relationship, me covering all the mirrors, on a 2-year bender, and five years to regrow my hair. She apologised profusely, and in character I forgave her, for she could have had no way of knowing. This astonished the other woman acquaintance I was chatting with at the time. She immediately agreed to completely drop the notion!

[Coder]

Last night, I got a chance to chat with her "co-conspirator" on the "makeover" theme

But dare you suggest a change in her appearance and... well let's just say I'm sure the fallout would be fierce and dealt swiftly.

(of course - I'm not suggesting anyone tell anyone else how to dress, just pointing out the double standard we live with)

[crfriend]

But dare you suggest a change in her appearance and... well let's just say I'm sure the fallout would be fierce and dealt swiftly.

Even without that in mind, I wouldn't even try. Why should I try to change her to fit my whims? She's not a doll to be played with; she's another human being! What galls me is that she regards me as the doll to be played with.

There's part of me that's tempted to ask her to dress in a more lady-like manner (she's an inveterate tomboy), but that'll be a useless gesture as that's entirely acceptable in modern "society". I recognise the pattern as I've been exposed to it for much of my life beginning in childhood. It caused that 2-yesr bender in the mid 1980s, and merely angers me now. It's not worth trying to point up the hypocrisy -- it's part and parcel of what "society" has become. It starts with something small (e.g. my beard) and grows into a full-blown assault on one's personality. I'm not going down that path again. BTDT, got the scars but no t-shirt.

Even my close-in advisors are mostly of the same notion -- "Walk away."

[Coder]

But dare you suggest a change in her appearance and... well let's just say I'm sure the fallout would be fierce and dealt swiftly.

Even without that in mind, I wouldn't even try. Why should I try to change her to fit my whims? She's not a doll to be played with; she's another human being! What galls me is that she regards me as the doll to be played with.

Oh I completely agree. I can't but help marvel at the hypocrisy of it all. What got us (men) to this point anyways? Has it always been this way? Or at some point did we lay down our "freedom" and say, "you tell us what to wear, I can't be bothered by that?".

Now - men choosing what to wear vs choosing to wear a skirt are not exactly an apples to apples comparison - another leap of understanding needs to take place. That is to say, two assumed "truth's" need to be shattered:

1) Men don't get to decide what they wear - their wives/SO's do
2) Skirts and other styles are the sole domain of women

[moonshadow]

Last night, I got a chance to chat with her "co-conspirator" on the "makeover" theme

But dare you suggest a change in her appearance and... well let's just say I'm sure the fallout would be fierce and dealt swiftly.

(of course - I'm not suggesting anyone tell anyone else how to dress, just pointing out the double standard we live with)

An interesting and somewhat sad state of the world we live in... so few men are afforded the freedom to be their authentic selves.

Last night a couple of our neighbors were chatting with us, myself and another guy were having a friendly ribbing about my skirt. I enjoyed the conversation and took the teasing in stride as I knew it was all in good fun. He asked me if I was going to "go all the way" (presumably to transition into a woman), I replied "no, I've been at this level for pretty much 10 years, I'm fine just being me", and followed that actually changing my body [taking estrogen]was something I didn't believe in.

He asked me if I go by a different name when I'm wearing skirts... of course I replied "well, I've got one of those cross gendered names so.... I'm Andrea no matter what I'm wearing.

Anyway, I'm digressing.. the point I want to make is he mentioned that he used to wear earrings and sometimes wished he could take it up again. I asked him "well why don't you?"

He looked at his wife, who looked back and gave him a "don't you even think about it" look. He laughed it off and took it in stride, but I could tell something inside of him hurt at the reminder of the prohibition.

I grinned, raised my fist in solidarity and replied "you've got to take control of your own life man!" in a joking context... only the secret was...

... I wasn't joking.

But to each their own.

[Barleymower]

Anyway, I'm digressing.. the point I want to make is he mentioned that he used to wear earrings and sometimes wished he could take it up again. I asked him "well why don't you?"

He looked at his wife, who looked back and gave him a "don't you even think about it" look. He laughed it off and took it in stride, but I could tell something inside of him hurt at the reminder of the prohibition.

I grinned, raised my fist in solidarity and replied "you've got to take control of your own life man!" in a joking context... only the secret was...

... I wasn't joking.

But to each their own.

I have never had the chance to have that type of conversation with anyone. They always say nothing or something unrelated.
It reminds me of a instagram short sent to me:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3TZSzVv ... B3b3YzYQ==

Sad but very very true.

The clip was sent by my wife. Needless to say we give our kids emotional support and they have seen us cry.

[Uncle Al]

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Uncle Al

[Uncle Al]

This goes for either women OR MEN:

Nothing wrong with you jpg 2024-02-19.jpg

Uncle Al