This? Or That?

[Stu]

This comment is perhaps technically outside the rules as there is an element related to gender, but here goes.

I have been reading a short essay by an Estonian upper high school teacher of exercises she sometimes sets for mid-teenage students as an ice-breaker, to get them thinking and discussing and to challenge their reasoning skills and allow them to identify preconceptions and prejudices. One exercise she calls "This? Or That?" The students are briefed that they should imagine they are presented with two options by a supernatural being and they have to choose one - and then justify it. They discuss it in groups and then a spokesman for each groups shares what their respective group has said. One option she uses is that the supernatural being gives you a choice, namely: 1. you be in perfect health for the rest of your life, but will die from a sudden heart attack at exactly midday on your 90th birthday - or 2. you will carry on as you are and die whenever - but bear in mind that, while you could live to be far older than 90, the vast majority will not live anywhere near as long as that and will likely suffer with all kinds of ailments before you pass away. If you think about it, there are pros and cons to both and 1. is effectively a death sentence while 2. is pot luck and you just might beat the odds (but probably won't).

Another one she offers is different for female students as for male students. Females are to be told they will be reborn into a new body and have a new life, but they have two options: (a) you can be born again as an outstandingly handsome man or (b) you can be born again as a woman, except you will be ugly. Correspondingly, males have two options: (a) you can be born again as an outstandingly beautiful woman or (b) you can be born again as a man, except you will be ugly. The teacher mentions that around half the female normally choose (a), whereas only a fifth of male students choose (a). However and this is interesting, when this same exercise is done as a written exercise without groups and the answers are anonymous, the female respondents are about equal, but the males go from about 20% for (a) to 40% for (a). She says she thinks the discrepancy is caused by boys not wanting others in the class to see them as inferior or being "slightly trans", although I am struggling to understand why she makes that interpretation.

[Myopic Bookworm]

when this same exercise is done as a written exercise without groups and the answers are anonymous, the female respondents are about equal, but the males go from about 20% for (a) to 40% for (a). She says she thinks the discrepancy is caused by boys not wanting others in the class to see them as inferior or being "slightly trans", although I am struggling to understand why she makes that interpretation.

It seems a straightforward enough interpretation to me, though in my own day the worry would have been being thought, not "slightly trans" but "slightly homosexual".

[denimini]

Interesting exercises and results.

[Grok]

It seems a straightforward enough interpretation to me, though in my own day the worry would have been being thought, not "slightly trans" but "slightly homosexual".

Given that the students were given a purely hypothetical scenario, it is easy to see the males choosing the masculine option. Because of a deeply ingrained prejudice against femininity.

After reading the scenario, I looked at Quora/Reddit threads regarding life as an ugly man/ugly woman. People commented that the experience of being ugly includes being treated as sub human. Of having a severely stunted social life. Of being bullied.... It is a sad situation for both males and females.

After reading these threads, I decided that, personally, I would rather be reincarnated as a beautiful female, than as an ugly person. Perhaps some of the male students thought the same thing, but chose outward conformity.

[Barleymower]

Life is indeed a beauty contest. The ugliest among us can expect a rough time by other people. Combine an ugly face with weakness and you are going to have problems. If you are burdened with every aspect of ugliness from ugly personality to ugly toes then suicide would be a release.
Suicide is a factor for transgender people. The choice is an impossible choice and goes beyond "I dont want to a girl/boy".

[pelmut]

I wouldn't want to be a beautiful-looking woman, they get too much of the wrong type of attention from men and spiteful remarks from jealous women.  Also there is a temptation to take advantage of your appearance, which can lead to character flaws and bitterness in later life when looks fade. Ugliness has its drawbacks too, so I would opt for reasonably good-looking (I wish!) but nothing too special.

[r.m.anderson]

I wouldn't want to be a beautiful-looking woman, they get too much of the wrong type of attention from men and spiteful remarks from jealous women.  Also there is a temptation to take advantage of your appearance, which can lead to character flaws and bitterness in later life when looks fade. Ugliness has its drawbacks too, so I would opt for reasonably good-looking (I wish!) but nothing too special.

But you are not given options other than "This or That" !
Very very interesting thought provoking!
Now do I take the PINK pill or the BLUE pill (aka the Matrix) ?

[Grok]

I chose beautiful female as the default; ugly people have nothing going for them. All I see is a lifetime of misery.

[Stu]

I think I'd be an ugly guy because I know how to be a guy - and I wouldn't want the women stuff like periods, pregnancy, emotions, physical weakness or having to wear make-up to leave the house.

That said, being a beautiful woman doesn't have to be a bind as women can downplay their looks if they wish to - and they have the good sense to avoid using their looks as their main personal capital. I once worked with a stunning-looking female linguist who was absolutely preoccupied with her research and wasn't in the market for any kind of relationship. Being happily married, nor was I, so we worked well as colleagues and had a strong platonic friendship.