How do you respond to confrontation?

[GerdG]

I cannot remember, having in this century, got any negative comments or long stares – except for one, in 2011 in New York where a guy in 42nd Street told me, I deserved to be shot dead. I was walking with my wife and had a kilt on.

In the 20. century I had a few but can tell them on one hand. It might be due to me and the way I dress, but I can’t help wondering, if it is more about differences in culture.

Based on my own experience in N.Y. and the answers here, could it be that the American society is less tolerant or even more hostile than say Australian, British, and European?

[TSH]

I cannot remember, having in this century, got any negative comments or long stares – except for one, in 2011 in New York where a guy in 42nd Street told me, I deserved to be shot dead. I was walking with my wife and had a kilt on.

That's inconceivable. That someone can be so pathetic as to throw such horrific, resentful language at someone they don't even know. I guess it's a good thing wishes aren't real. Would've told that PoS to go hang himself from the highest building in his nearest vicinity while naked. These types of people "deserve" to be addressed as the deplorable pricks they truly are if a man in a skirt bothers them that much.

Based on my own experience in N.Y. and the answers here, could it be that the American society is less tolerant or even more hostile than say Australian, British, and European?

Yes. Of course, it is. As an American, myself, we take great pride in being insufferable, obnoxious, ignorant, wasteful, hypocritical, contradictory degenerates. It's no surprise that your specific negative reaction came from a NYC douchebag who probably still lives in his mom's basement — unemployed.

Really, much of the Western World is more bigoted and more directed towards their contempt towards people they deem "subversive" than the rest of the world. It's more prominent in the United States because it's the supposedly "Land of the Free". My ass.

[TheSkirtedMan]

I have only ever been challenged directly twice, both in my time of volunteering at a Historic House and that is now 8 years. Both were women, separate occasions, both short hair, both 'manish' in appearance and behaviour, dressed similar with tee shirts, jeans, trainers. Both got a polite reply but both rechallenged so they got my follow up reply with both barrels - for the same reason you are dressed as you are and appearance as well. Freedom of choice, expression and individuality applies to all not just bigoted females.

That terminated the discussion and on both occasions they left the room immediately, helped on the second occasion by supportive visitors in the room. I did report myself to management but they said knowing me, they had my support.

A few years back in a pub, a young woman was holding court. All you heard was her and her opinions. Both sides of the family present with her and it turned out to be an engagement party. Her boyfriend was extremely quiet. I was noted and of course she made her negative opinions known within the group but loud for all to hear. One or two concurred, majority remained silent. I took it so long and as not challenged direct, I spoke to my wife, loud for all to hear that what irritates me is bigots and hypocrites those who question another's choice of clothing yet embrace choice for themselves, I have noted her short hair, jeans, Doc Martin boots etc. Then I stopped. Her group all put their heads down, she turned, gave me a filthy look, so looking at her I added, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Nothing further was said.

I do get the occasional stare, the odd snigger, and a few trying to keep a straight face but they are the very small minority. Most just get on with life, interacting with me as one would expect. I get many, many compliments and many at the Historic House who come more than once are always pleased to talk again. As a volunteer I am always skirted, I do digital presentations for them at clubs and societies, always skirted and no issue. I am skirted in public almost all the time, only when the task in hand dictates trousers. I will see thousands of people and volunteering does open you up to questions as you are not passing but engaging but apart from the two mentioned, if asked it is to ask why but politely and accepting, show acknowledgement, appreciation and yes the source of majority of compliments.

Some of the stares can be disconcerting but I just continue and ignore them. My policy in this aspect is to ignore, continue with confidence, and will look at that person with confidence but not stare with the attitude of well come on then. It is always best to not aggrevate a situation as their opinion is set and will not change. Also their 'friends' will rally round and you will be outnumbered. The three times I have engaged in reactions I felt very safe, and when I look back at the few that stare and snigger, it is only to show that I am confident with myself, it is brief and I continue on my way.

I really do think it is down to the male skirt wearers persona, confidence and presentation that attracts or not unwanted attention. Being a man who wears skirts or womens wear creates intrigue for some. Certain areas of society can cause problems but I have no reason to go to those areas, it's like certain countries around the world and I have no interest with them, anyhow and I am not a globe trotter.

[KenCT]

Thomas Jefferson: "...it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods, or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg."

I have been fortunate not to have had any negative encounters in six years of wearing skirts, but I would be inclined to offer a response consistent with Jefferson's reasoning: "This harms you how?"

[jordan]

I have only ever been challenged directly twice, both in my time of volunteering at a Historic House and that is now 8 years. [...]

I took it so long and as not challenged direct, I spoke to my wife, loud for all to hear that what irritates me is bigots and hypocrites those who question another's choice of clothing yet embrace choice for themselves [...]

I really do think it is down to the male skirt wearers persona, confidence and presentation that attracts or not unwanted attention.

I'm glad these confrontations have been rare for you. And it sounds like when it happens, you have a great response that (hopefully) makes them ponder a little.

Totally agree that persona, confidence, and presentation can completely change things. Bullies tend to sniff out insecurity.

"This harms you how?"

Love this response