Skirt Cafe is an on-line community dedicated to exploring, promoting and advocating skirts and kilts as a fashion choice for men, formerly known as men in skirts. We do this in the context of men's fashion freedom --- an expansion of choices beyond those commonly available for men to include kilts, skirts and other garments. We recognize a diversity of styles our members feel comfortable wearing, and do not exclude any potential choices. Continuing dialog on gender is encouraged in the context of fashion freedom for men. See here for more details.
Discussion of fashion elements and looks that are traditionally considered somewhat "femme" but are presented in a masculine context. This is NOT about transvestism or crossdressing.
JeffB1959 wrote: ↑Tue Aug 29, 2023 8:52 am
Well, just two days ago, I had a guy at the register at Best Buy say he liked the dress I wore, and I felt he was being sincere. Sure, compliments from men are far and few inbetween, but they DO happen.
My daughter (who is probably more knowledgeable than me in some areas) said that men are reflecting their fears onto you. It works like this. They see you in feminine clothes and they either make a comment, say nothing and ignore or some rare cases complement.
The first two cases (comment/ignore) are often reflecting their fear onto you. They might want to try something nice but they are afraid of the reaction / ridicule. Their behaviour is aimed to make you feel awkward or afraid. They refect their feelings onto you, making themselves feel better.
I'm probably teaching you to suck eggs here and you are well aware of what's happening. I'm still new to this and I'm learning all the time.
I think it is however an interesting point she makes.
I can imagine compliments are really someone saying, "I am an ally." They could also be someone saying, "Me too." Silence can mean that they feel awkward, that they disapprove, or that they are scared to admit something...
I'm a guy who wears a skirt or dress in public once or twice per month. It is a secret from most of the people I know.
Once, I was walking up a main aisle in a department store when I saw a man wearing a white shirt with little blue flowers on it with a knee length, denim, cut-off skirt. He finished his transaction, turned, and started walking down the aisle toward me. There were other people around us. I wanted to quietly say or communicate with my hand, "Me too." I chickened out. He saw me walking toward him. I was over a foot taller than him. Presumably, he noticed that I was looking at him. He passed me while only looking at his phone. I assume that I looked intimidating. I have avoided eye-contact with other men over the years because I was dressed pretty.
jjjjohanne wrote: ↑Thu Aug 31, 2023 10:34 am
I can imagine compliments are really someone saying, "I am an ally." They could also be someone saying, "Me too." Silence can mean that they feel awkward, that they disapprove, or that they are scared to admit something...
I'm a guy who wears a skirt or dress in public once or twice per month. It is a secret from most of the people I know.
Once, I was walking up a main aisle in a department store when I saw a man wearing a white shirt with little blue flowers on it with a knee length, denim, cut-off skirt. He finished his transaction, turned, and started walking down the aisle toward me. There were other people around us. I wanted to quietly say or communicate with my hand, "Me too." I chickened out. He saw me walking toward him. I was over a foot taller than him. Presumably, he noticed that I was looking at him. He passed me while only looking at his phone. I assume that I looked intimidating. I have avoided eye-contact with other men over the years because I was dressed pretty.
jjjjohanne wrote: ↑Thu Aug 31, 2023 10:34 am
I can imagine compliments are really someone saying, "I am an ally." They could also be someone saying, "Me too." Silence can mean that they feel awkward, that they disapprove, or that they are scared to admit something...
I'm a guy who wears a skirt or dress in public once or twice per month. It is a secret from most of the people I know.
Once, I was walking up a main aisle in a department store when I saw a man wearing a white shirt with little blue flowers on it with a knee length, denim, cut-off skirt. He finished his transaction, turned, and started walking down the aisle toward me. There were other people around us. I wanted to quietly say or communicate with my hand, "Me too." I chickened out. He saw me walking toward him. I was over a foot taller than him. Presumably, he noticed that I was looking at him. He passed me while only looking at his phone. I assume that I looked intimidating. I have avoided eye-contact with other men over the years because I was dressed pretty.
Johanne, I find this sad -- that you avoid eye-contact with other men when in a skirt or dress. May I suggest you do precisely the opposite, at least to the extent you would on the days you are dressed more conventionally -- i.e. act when in a skirt precisely as you would in pants. That will signal a natural confidence rather than signal that you are being weird, perverted, or whatever other label you perceive someone may be thinking.
JeffB1959 wrote: ↑Tue Aug 29, 2023 8:52 am
Well, just two days ago, I had a guy at the register at Best Buy say he liked the dress I wore, and I felt he was being sincere. Sure, compliments from men are far and few inbetween, but they DO happen.
My daughter (who is probably more knowledgeable than me in some areas) said that men are reflecting their fears onto you. It works like this. They see you in feminine clothes and they either make a comment, say nothing and ignore or some rare cases complement.
The first two cases (comment/ignore) are often reflecting their fear onto you. They might want to try something nice but they are afraid of the reaction / ridicule. Their behaviour is aimed to make you feel awkward or afraid. They refect their feelings onto you, making themselves feel better.
I'm probably teaching you to suck eggs here and you are well aware of what's happening. I'm still new to this and I'm learning all the time.
I think it is however an interesting point she makes.
No, I didn't get that sort of vibe from the gent who waited on me, I felt he was being sincere. I never sensed he was trying to project fear or awkwardness onto me. I feel I've been at this long enough to sense genuine feelings from people of both genders when they pay me compliments on my attire.
I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman.
Apologies Jeff I think we miss understand each other. I'm sure the chap was being sincere. I was talking about mens attitudes when we are ignored or they say something derogatory. Most of my experience is to be ignored.
Barleymower wrote: ↑Tue Sep 05, 2023 6:20 am
Apologies Jeff I think we miss understand each other. I'm sure the chap was being sincere. I was talking about mens attitudes when we are ignored or they say something derogatory. Most of my experience is to be ignored.
Okay, no biggie!
I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman.
