Aggressive women

General discussion of skirt and kilt-based fashion for men, and stuff that goes with skirts and kilts.
weeladdie18
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 1474
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 3:17 pm

Re: Aggressive women

Post by weeladdie18 »

During the warm summer shorts were a popular style of attire with both the male and female gender.
I wore summer skirts to protect my upper legs from the heat of the sun.
It is reasonable to assume that this would provide some curiosity from the fashion conscious female.
Taj
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 279
Joined: Sat Feb 13, 2010 5:10 pm
Location: Denver, CO

Re: Aggressive women

Post by Taj »

A perspective I didn't notice as I read the thread; maybe some women are being welcoming when they comment on our skirted appearance. Women tend to bond with each other in sort of a girls club. I see it a lot. The doors to the club are not completely latched against men who are nonthreatening, and out numbered, in environments that tend towards the feminine. My yoga classes are a good example, wherein I've been accepted around and even included in conversations that are typically girl talk and female health issues. It could feel uncomfortable for some men to be taken in as one of the girls, but I think it happens sometimes.
You don't get to judge me by your standards. I have to judge me by mine.
weeladdie18
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 1474
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 3:17 pm

Re: Aggressive women

Post by weeladdie18 »

I would agree in my experience it is possible for a male to be accepted into a female group social
activity while still dressing in male clothes and behaving like a gentleman.

If the male dresses in a skirt this would present a certain degree of female curiousity .
Perhaps this is why I am interested in the skirt becoming an acceptable male fashion.
Brad
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 246
Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2012 11:54 pm
Location: Rockland County, New York, USA

Re: Aggressive women

Post by Brad »

Taj wrote:A perspective I didn't notice as I read the thread; maybe some women are being welcoming when they comment on our skirted appearance. Women tend to bond with each other in sort of a girls club. I see it a lot. The doors to the club are not completely latched against men who are nonthreatening, and out numbered, in environments that tend towards the feminine. My yoga classes are a good example, wherein I've been accepted around and even included in conversations that are typically girl talk and female health issues. It could feel uncomfortable for some men to be taken in as one of the girls, but I think it happens sometimes.
Taj makes an excellent point. I've often been invited to girl talk conversations because of my personal understanding of their experiences. When women I know talk about heels that hurt or pantyhose that slip down, I can be part of the conversation. I'm one of the girls and they feel comfortable with me.
User avatar
Caultron
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 4122
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2013 4:12 am
Location: Phoenix, AZ

Re: Aggressive women

Post by Caultron »

One time I was out hiking with my club and the subject turned to toenails. Care, necessity of trimming before a hike, fungus problems, and so forth. Ugh. But then I realized how this showed what a close friendly group we were; close enough to talk unabashedly about a gross topic like toenails.

And I suspect the same is true of any other usually-forbidden topic, girl talk or other. With mutual confidence and the proper icebreaker, almost any topic becomes acceptable.

I'd still steer away from, " Does this dress make me look fat?" though.
Courage, conviction, nerve, verve, dash, panache, guts, nuts, balls, gall, élan, stones, whatever. Get some and get skirted.

caultron
User avatar
Pdxfashionpioneer
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 1650
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 6:39 am
Location: Portland, OR, USA

Re: Aggressive women

Post by Pdxfashionpioneer »

I too have noticed that "Women's Club" phenomenon and felt like my wearing a skirt or dress gave me a day pass to the club.

As to how to take remarks from women, I haven't received any insults disguised as compliments. Quite the contrary, I have a mini-following at the superstore I frequent of shop clerks who watch for me to see what I'm wearing. One of them is particularly interested in my jewelry. Maybe one or two of the pieces I inherited from my late mother would qualify as fine jewelry, the rest is costume jewelry. No matter, she likes it.

But the real telling remark came from a divorcee who said she never spoke to men she met at bars (where we met) but made an exception for me because she felt I was safe (undoubtedly because I was in a dress!).
David, the PDX Fashion Pioneer

Social norms aren't changed by Congress or Parliament; they're changed by a sufficient number of people ignoring the existing ones and publicly practicing new ones.
User avatar
Daryl
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 1219
Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2011 4:25 am
Location: Toronto Canada

Re: Aggressive women

Post by Daryl »

weeladdie18 wrote:
Daryl wrote:
partlyscot wrote:I particularly remember one conversation where the lady happened to be wearing the exact same skirt, and she said that I was well ahead of the curve, and couldn't understand why more men didn't wear them.
To which I might have responded that I couldn't understand why more women didn't wear them, too. Skirt-wearing by women definitely increased a little where I worked after I started wearing skirts to work all the time. It's almost as if the option became more real even for women, with just one trailblazer. Until then, I don't think any of the women where I worked ever wore skirts except on formal occasions.
I feel this idea of "Being a trail blazer " may or may not influence others in a small working community
to dress in a style which produces a uniformity in the way a community chooses to dress.
A simple example....If a team of male and female staff were lead by a man in trousers...would all
the team eventually voluntarily turn to wearing trousers ?
If a new leader of the team was a female who wore skirts , would all the team including the males ,
turn to wearing skirts ?

If a man goes to church with a group of females in skirt suits , should he wear a skirt as a form
of compatability in a community, or should he show his male gender by wearing trousers ?
Good questions but since I have trouble with both "should" and "gender" I might be wise to avoid commenting too much...

Groups still exist within larger social structures. And groups view their "leaders" with varying degrees of confidence. Confidence will be affected negatively if a group perceives its leader as leading them astray with respect to the larger social structure of their company, or city, or whatever. A woman who is a leader will probably influence other women in the group she leads if she wears a skirt more often. The male leader, however, may simply lose status if he dresses weirdly for his sex, according to the norms of the larger social structure.
Daryl...
User avatar
Pdxfashionpioneer
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 1650
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 6:39 am
Location: Portland, OR, USA

Re: Aggressive women

Post by Pdxfashionpioneer »

Daryl
The male leader, however, may simply lose status if he dresses weirdly for his sex, according to the norms of the larger social structure.


This may be overthinking the issue. I've found that people find me more approachable when I'm in a dress as opposed to pants because I'm more genuine and therefore at ease. If a male group leader, including a work group leader, can wear a skirt or dress to work comfortably and confidently and is available to his people, I believe he will be more effective overall.

Mark, you certainly have experience with this. Would you please help us out with this question?
David, the PDX Fashion Pioneer

Social norms aren't changed by Congress or Parliament; they're changed by a sufficient number of people ignoring the existing ones and publicly practicing new ones.
User avatar
Daryl
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 1219
Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2011 4:25 am
Location: Toronto Canada

Re: Aggressive women

Post by Daryl »

Pdxfashionpioneer wrote:Daryl
The male leader, however, may simply lose status if he dresses weirdly for his sex, according to the norms of the larger social structure.


This may be overthinking the issue. I've found that people find me more approachable when I'm in a dress as opposed to pants because I'm more genuine and therefore at ease. If a male group leader, including a work group leader, can wear a skirt or dress to work comfortably and confidently and is available to his people, I believe he will be more effective overall.

Mark, you certainly have experience with this. Would you please help us out with this question?
Well, we can't really use ourselves to affirm anything larger than what is possible by virtue of our own experiences. Possible and likely are quite different things. Elon Musk took a toke and the sky fell down. That is possible too.
Daryl...
Grok
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 2804
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:21 am

Re: Who's website is this? thread

Post by Grok »

Moon Shadow posted that he wanted to ask a woman where she got her dress, but figured that this would be suspicious behavior because he was wearing drab male clothes. Quoting Moon Shadow:

"That's the nice thing about wearing skirts and dresses, in a way you become 'one of the girls', and you can ask such questions without seeming like you're hitting on them."
Grok
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 2804
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:21 am

Re: Aggressive women

Post by Grok »

Perhaps some women regard skirted men as being more akin to women than other males? And therefore regard skirted men as safe, and approachable?
partlyscot
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 908
Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2012 7:05 pm

Re: Aggressive women

Post by partlyscot »

Was going to do a reply with various quotes, but it seemed too confusing.

1. I think that maybe that some women's approach to us seems "aggressive" or forward if you prefer, is because it's those women who *are* a bit forward, or confident, are more likely to make an approach?

2. Being a trail blazer. It seemed to me, that when I started wearing skirts at work, a lot more of the females started wearing them more often. Did they feel it was more accepted? When they saw me using ladders, or peering under low shelves did they realize a skirt wasn't as much of a hindrance as the y thought? Did they feel *challenged?* Don't know, but it does seem that more of my colleagues feel free to wear a wider choice. No skirts on guys yet, though a couple have worn actual kilts occasionally. Many very colorful shorts and shirts on the guys though, one guy wore leggings, (with a pair of shorts over) The women, (younger ones mostly, but not exclusively) seem to have an ever expanding range of clothing. One in particular likes to wear some black spandex shorts, or somewhat shiny leggings, more than a little revealing, but not (to my mind) in a gross way. (i.e. no camel toe) On that point, I know Carl for one doesn't like leggings, but I'm wondering if it's a case of who is wearing them and how they do so? I don't find them appealing if the individual does not have any care for their appearance generally, and the use them for simplicity sake alone.

3. "Day pass to the ladies club" I think there may be something to this, certainly I am much more likely to compliment a woman on a clothing choice, and they are mostly received very warmly. On one occasion I got such a strong thank you! I was a bit startled, especially as I was complimenting her on her strongly patterned tights, and was not certain if I was being too forward. I have on several occasions asked where they got an item, and again, never had a negative reaction.

4. I have become regarded as an "old hand" at work, and am often approached for information or direction, and the skirts don't seem to have affected that all, at least not negatively at least. I've had a couple of customers tell me that if they have questions, they should look for the guy in the skirt.
User avatar
crfriend
Master Barista
Posts: 14432
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 9:52 pm
Location: New England (U.S.)
Contact:

Re: Aggressive women

Post by crfriend »

partlyscot wrote:[...]I know Carl for one doesn't like leggings, but I'm wondering if it's a case of who is wearing them and how they do so?
It's a couple of things. Primarily it's the ubiquitousness of the dratted things: they're positively everywhere that doesn't involve denim (and there are crossovers which I detest yet even more). Secondarily, it's a look that only really works for a small subset of body-types and nobody seems to understand that. Couple the two facets together and I suspect anybody can figure out my distaste for the things. (And in the spirit of decorum I'll omit the other images that occasionally assault the eyeballs.)
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
User avatar
r.m.anderson
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 2601
Joined: Sun Nov 07, 2004 6:25 pm
Location: Burnsville MN USA

Re: Aggressive women

Post by r.m.anderson »

Who wears Short-Shorts ?
Well I do when there is no other skirted option which is to say rarely.

Who wear leggings jeggings tights ph ?
Well I wear those as well but only as a method to ward off winter windchill factors***.
*** and perhaps as a modesty factor in wearing mini-skirts leaving nothing exposed to the elements !

Who wears mini-skirts skirts skorts kilts ?
Well I wear those also.

Dresses are not my forte.

There are no wrong answers in this summary - just using some judgment in
wearing clothing coordinating with the time of the year - weather and the event to be attended.

You are not wearing that ? Are you ? - You damn tooten I am - Who are you the skirt police ?
"YES SKIRTING MATTERS"!
"Kilt-On" -or- as the case may be "Skirt-On" !
WHY ?
Isn't wearing a kilt enough?
Well a skirt will do in a pinch!
Make mine short and don't you dare think of pinching there !
partlyscot
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 908
Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2012 7:05 pm

Re: Aggressive women

Post by partlyscot »

crfriend wrote:
partlyscot wrote:[...]I know Carl for one doesn't like leggings, but I'm wondering if it's a case of who is wearing them and how they do so?
It's a couple of things. Primarily it's the ubiquitousness of the dratted things: they're positively everywhere that doesn't involve denim (and there are crossovers which I detest yet even more). Secondarily, it's a look that only really works for a small subset of body-types and nobody seems to understand that. Couple the two facets together and I suspect anybody can figure out my distaste for the things. (And in the spirit of decorum I'll omit the other images that occasionally assault the eyeballs.)
They are pretty common at our workplace, but they are a practical option. Also, many of our ladies do have a body type that suit them. However, your point is quite accurate, I am reminded of a radio station transmitting from the Calgary Stampede one year, and during one session the DJ suddenly stopped speaking with a weird choking sound, then he came back and said "People! Some of you need to remember, spandex is a privilege not a right!"
Post Reply