should I let my daughter Know I wear skirts

[hairy]

I'm new on here, and its only place I can find like minded people. I'm an all male full bearded biker type that just loves to wear short mini skirts. The wife knows all about it and likes me in the skirts and buy's them sometimes, but I think she's jealous of my smooth slim legs. In the summer I even do the gardening in my enclosed garden, I don't bother if the neighbours do see me cuz I'm covered where it matters. My trouble is my twenty one year old daughter when she comes home from uni and I have to hide everything and that in turn makes me so deeply depressed and almost resentful of here coming home. I never know when she's going to walk in the door so I can't relax. She's not the kind that would except my dressing up, she would fly off the handle if she suddenly found, and would be much the same if I gradually let her know, and my wife is of no help here, she thinks we should not tell daughter. I also like laying in hidden place in my garden getting a sun tan, last summer we had a bit of a bust up when I told her not to come in the garden because I sunbath naked. Anyone else here able to advise me, I get so stressed when she's home.
On another note this biker intends going out in short skirts this summer and like I said I'm full bearded biker so will I get many problems?

[Sinned]

Hry, welcome to the café, so sit down by the potted palm and listen to words of wisdom from those going through or have gone through this phase of your life. At least you have YOH on your side which some of us don't. Once I had decided that I wanted skirts as part of my wardrobe I let anyone who really matters in my life know. The only one that is really ANTI is MOH and she's a really tough nut to crack. She thinks I dress like a woman just because I wear a skirt! It sounds as if your daughter and MOH are two peas in a pod. She's going to have to know sometime and only you know her and the best way to approach this. Maybe a quiet 1:1 over a coffee???? Remember you are NOT doing anything wrong. You aren't a cross dresser and with the beard and other biker stuff you can't EVER be mistaken for a woman ( unless you are a Kenny Everett impersonator, remember "All in the best possible taste" sketches ). I do sympathise as I have literally a daily battle with MOH over skirts but at least your daughter is at uni most of the time. Can you compromise with kilts which are considered a male skirt? There are utilikilts and so on. See other threads.

Dnns

[Couya]

"Should" you let her know?
But whyever not?
You are older than she is, and can do what you like. I can see no reason for hiding anything as innocuous as skirt-wearing from anyone (except, possibly, an employer-- no point in taking chances).
As for her "flying off the handle", why on earth should she be angry? what is there to be angry about? Surprised, undoubtedly; embarrassed, perhaps; but not angry. You are the one that could be angry if your daughter has no respect for your preferences. Do you interfere with her life? I doubt it, if she is away at university.
Show her you are happy to behave differently from the rest of the crowd; it's part of her education.

Martin
afterthought : if she is afraid of what her friends would say if she brought some home to meet you, you could promise to be more conventional on such occasions, but for day-to-day family life, surely each of you can do as you wish.

[dillon]

I don't think its still a question of whether you should let her know but rather how you let her know. One way is perhaps to let her see a skirt of yours, "inadvertently", perhaps on a hanger casually somewhere, or in with some laundry, and if she asks "Whose is this?" you respond casually "It's mine..." Then let the discussion progress from there. It may be an easier adjustment than an initial shock of seeing you wearing one, and less subject to misinterpretation than if you were to say "I have something I need to tell you" which she may construe as your 'coming out' as gay.

[melsav]

Moh knows that I like to wear skirts but she does not like like I only wear them at home when no one else is home. My daughter also knows that I wear skirts, I told her one day while we were having coffee at the local mall. She said you can wear whatever you want it's not up to anyone else to tell you what you can and cannot wear. I not worn any skirts when she is around but have started making and wearing kilts which ever one like with no snide comments, even my wife and I go out with me in a kilt. Talk to her and ask how she feels about kilts and take it from there.

[hairy]

Thank you for your replies. I think one of the problems is that she has too much control over me and wife, like many youngsters do. Wife does not want her to know because it might upset her but what about how it effects me, not being myself. It comes to something when I don't worry about outsiders knowing, and wife is not worried about me going out in the open this summer, but she thinks daughter must not know. You can have a laugh about this one, I went out on motorbike last summer in quiet country lanes wearing mini and it felt great, such freedom. Thanks for being understanding everyone.

[crfriend]

It is worth recalling that there is precisely nothing wrong with a guy who wears skirts. He's unconventional to be sure, but clearly not wrong. If we begin from that hypothesis, everything else follows fairly simply.

I think one of the problems is that she has too much control over me and wife, like many youngsters do. Wife does not want her to know because it might upset her but what about how it effects me, not being myself.

Here is one problem -- the issue of control. First and foremost, in a healthy family relationship neither the husband nor wife exert overt control over the other; however, it is important to not let a child "take over" and exert control over either parent. That can become dangerous for all involved. This is not to say that the parents should ignore their child's wishes or input, but that it's critical that the child always knows who calls the shots.

You can have a laugh about this one, I went out on motorbike last summer in quiet country lanes wearing mini and it felt great, such freedom.

I won't laugh about that for a moment. The sensation must've been sublime.

[RichardA]

I'm a great believer in “letting sleeping dogs lie”

[Brad]

My then 23 year old daughter found out by accident when I inadvertently texted her pics of me that were intended for a long-time female friend. This can be easily done with the wrong text message window open. I then apologized to her and she replied to me that she doesn't care what I do if it makes me happy. It was such a relief to have let her know about my skirt wearing and get her response. I would rather have done so with some kind of context but that's ok- it was done. (See the thread here http://www.skirtcafe.org/forums/viewtop ... =2&t=16543 )

Hiding this fascinating side of you is like being less than honest with her. My suggestion (for what it's worth) is tell her but don't do it in a shameful way like there is something wrong with you. You're still her father and love her, you're still a man, and you're not a freak or pervert. Have her visit this website and find out there is a community of men, and a few women, who also approve of men in skirts. Try to avoid the dramatic "I have something to tell you..." talk. Also don't hint around with a fabricated story that you saw a guy at the mall the other day in a skirt and gauge her reaction to see where she is at on the issue. Just be honest and talk to her as you always do. She's an adult and should understand. Let her know that you are not a one-dimensional boring man in pants but a complicated man with daring and original flair. You're still the same person and you haven't changed. You still love her as her father.

Keep us posted on what action you eventually take and how it goes.

[Reaper_Man]

I don't have any daughters of my own but i do have 4 stepdaughters, (all grown up and left home) one of whom we (MOH and myself) bumped into one day whilst shopping, we were in the womens section of a large clothing store and i was carrying a couple of skirts that i intended to buy, the stepdaughter assumed they were for the wife and pointed out that she had selected the wrong size (the skirts were a uk 20 and the wife is a 10), my wife simply replied "they're not for me" the stepdaughter just said "oh ok" we continued looking at other skirts and the stepdaughter started pulling skirts off the rails saying "this one is nice it will suit you well" .... and that was that, since that day all my stepdaughters have seen me in skirts and dresses and often meet with us in town / at a pub etc whilst i'm skirted and have no objections whatsoever and often compliment me on my fashion choice.

[Caultron]

It seems to me that the real problem here is letting your 21-year-daughter control you and your wife. I'm sure you want the best for her, but you're entitled to your own life as well.

It's your family, of course, but I'd say you need to analyze how your daughter is controlling you and then find some way of short-circuiting that behavior.

[Uncle Al]

My sons, 41 & 36 yrs old, have never 'controlled' our family - even though
being 'Dad's Taxi' to all their events had it's toll on family life. But that's it,
family life. My wife & I haven't changed much in what we do whether the
boys were at home or finally out on their own. Both of them, when they
found out about my kilts & skirts, said "Hey - - You're Rockin' it, Dad! "

I've never 'shied' away from them for any reason. They know I'll call
a 'Spade-A-Spade' but will be there in a New York Minute(45 seconds)
if they need me. Otherwise, they're on their own.

This is my experience
Yours may vary but I hope not

Uncle Al

[hairy]

Thanks for all your great replies, its the first time I've been able to find good contact with like minded blokes.
I've always known that my daughter has control and that's because the wife has given that to her. We have had many bad times over the way my daughter gets all her own way, but that's marriage for ya and I've had to give up and let go, but that does not mean that I should not do the things I want. The daughter went back to uni yesterday and I've now decided that when she returns for easter I will NOT be as concerned about hiding my skirts away, its my life I'm not hurting her or anyone else by what I choose to wear. So when she goes in my room as she does, There will be skirts on the outside of wardrobe doors as well as inside. I will take great care not to let her friends know I wear skirts, but if they find out then so be it. I have a lot of stress in my life, some given to me by wife and daughter but I have a right to try relaxing the best way I can. Many of my skirts are just too short and I will not wear those, but the knee length ones? why not. I do hope she does not tell my elderly father as he would never understand, but I will feel better not having to be so secretive or keep locking the front door on the inside.
I think I decided this along time ago and now its time to do my own thing. Thanks for being here everyone, its good to talk.

[Orca]

I have just asked her.

My daughter knew I wore kilts at Lowlands (A Camping flight to Lowlands Paradise, a three day music/culture festival in the Netherlands. Where kilts are quite normal and funny festival suits are also worn by some) When she and her boyfriend came over to arrange things for going to the festival I asked them If they were opposed to me wearing an actual skirt. My reasoning was that kilts are too heavy and hot and that a normal skirt would be more comfortable. She was not happy with it but her friend said "Who cares? It's Lowlands!". So I brought them along and wore them. As she was not quite happy with it, she was polite enough not to comment. Her friends and those of my son (we could claim a camping site that could accommodate my daughters friends tents, my sons friends tents and the tents of me and my friend. after some laughing the joke got old very fast and my skirt was no issue anymore. My son make a few remarks to show some fake embarrassment to keep is 'Cool' status. During the festival we greeted each other normally and he (as usual) came by to squeeze some tokens from me as could be expected when his father is also attending the festival.

This happened two years ago, last year's Lowlands I even went to the morning Tai Chi exercises in a skirt. This year my children were on a different part of the campsite (mainly because they do not get along with my girlfriend) and I met my daughter at the tai chi location. We share this little thing since she started to come to Lowlands as well. After doing the exercises she went along with me and our group (including my girlfriend) for a chat and a cup of coffee/tea. She may not wholeheartedly agree with my decision about skirts but it seems she is mature and respectful enough to hang out with me while I'm wearing a skirt. We do have a good bond and mutual love so that could also be the reason of her behavior.

I consider myself blessed with children like these..

[STEVIE]

Hi Hairy,
Welcome to the cafe.
The daughter question is a toughie, I have one of my own, age 22, still at home.
My counsel would be tell her, don't show unless you are absolutely comfortable with yourself and any potential outcome.
I have a boy and girl, he's the elder, they were both told about 2 or so years ago. I told them both at the time that I would not force my choices on them, that was my option but that they had to be aware that it wasn't going away.
As of now, my daughter can talk it over with me but is still uncomfortable, my son is completely sanguine. I made the compromise for my daughter in the first place and I won't go back on it until she's ready. My relationship with her is more important than any skirt.
I'll put that in more context. I have a beard too. I have said on many occasions that I'd only ever shave it if she asked me to.
It's not about control or the so called normality or otherwise of being a bloke in a skirt it's just down to how you choose to work it out with your own family.
That relationship is unique to you and yours as mine is to mine. There is no correct answer here.
I'm not there yet but we are in a better place than we were a year ago so there is progress.
Good luck.
Steve.