Skirt Cafe is an on-line community dedicated to exploring, promoting and advocating skirts and kilts as a fashion choice for men, formerly known as men in skirts. We do this in the context of men's fashion freedom --- an expansion of choices beyond those commonly available for men to include kilts, skirts and other garments. We recognize a diversity of styles our members feel comfortable wearing, and do not exclude any potential choices. Continuing dialog on gender is encouraged in the context of fashion freedom for men. See here for more details.
Dynamo wrote:I find it is the ease and confidence that makes it acceptable by many. Much like the "popular kid" at the high school playground. You can wear all the right clothes but if confidence and self security does not exude from within, the crew will be out to get you. In contrast, you can wear all of the "wrong" clothes but if you wear them with strength and confidence, others will naturally want to emulate you, and do as you do. It all comes down to attitude and pairing yourself with the garment that you feel most confident and comfortable with. Confidence is key to your success in this way.
This sounds like a consideration very much similar to one I hold dear around the notion of "believability" -- the onlooker must believe what he's seeing and that it looks good (or at least plausible) to him. This is why I tend to shy away from the sorts of outlandish stuff one sees on the runways and focus on skirts that work for the shape of my frame and within my own personal aesthetic.
I also say when you get your first skirt, don't wear it out at first. Wear it around the house for a bit. Get used to how it flows and feels. Get confident in wearing the skirt in the privacy and comfort of your own home.
This is "common knowledge" here -- some of it having been gained from considerable discomfort or committing "classic" gaffes like closing the hem in the car door. Guys aren't used to skirts, and don't have the "childhood training" that their sisters may have had; we're very much on our own unless we have significant others who are "on side". Learning how to deal with floor-length skirts and ankle-length ones with substantial petticoats (a very useful tool in the kit, I'll add) took quite a lot of work on my part (navigation in tight spots can be quite problematic).
Anyway, grab a skirt and wear it with pride! See you on the playground!
Hear, hear!!
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
Dynamo wrote:I believe that specific skirt is made of high quality cotton. We do have many different materials that we work with in order to fulfill the many different needs and desires that come our way.
I'm happy to hear about alternates to cotton. Cotton has its place, but I have something strange with my body-chemistry that dissolves the stuff, so hence I tend to focus on synthetics one one ilk or another. I especially like some of the micro-fiber fabrics that vary in appearance depending on where you view them from or how the lighting is.
Writing my last post has inspired me to make a first-time skirt wearer page. Once I find time I may do so.
No wonder you're called "Dynamo"! You've got more energy than five of me (well, 8 or 10 at the moment as I am presently unwell).
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
Oh no! I am sorry to hear you are not well. I hope you get better soon!
Maybe a nice skirt will help? LOL
Out of curiosity if we would build you a skirt from scratch, what would an ideal skirt be made of and what would it look like? We are currently taking new ideas for designs and I would love to read your feedback. I love great suggestions!
Sarongman wrote:Another couple of friends we met wondered if I was "freeballing" . Why oh why id there such a fetish on some people's part as to whether or not one has underwear on?
A girl asked me that in a pub. I replied "Of course I am. Are you?" Her boyfriend almost choked on his beer (with laughter) and she replied in a small voice "Yes". A good natured exchange.
I'm resolved that next time a man asks me that - fortunately it rarely happens - I'll point to a woman wearing a skirt (if there is one available) and suggest he now asks her if she's wearing anything underneath
Charlie
Bad idea, you answered her, so she could have dodged the question. You could have played a prudish Englishman and answered in a high pitched Oxford English: How dare you? That's inappropriate.
Sarongman wrote:Another couple of friends we met wondered if I was "freeballing" . Why oh why id there such a fetish on some people's part as to whether or not one has underwear on?
A girl asked me that in a pub. I replied "Of course I am. Are you?" Her boyfriend almost choked on his beer (with laughter) and she replied in a small voice "Yes". A good natured exchange.
I'm resolved that next time a man asks me that - fortunately it rarely happens - I'll point to a woman wearing a skirt (if there is one available) and suggest he now asks her if she's wearing anything underneath
Charlie
Bad idea, you answered her, so she could have dodged the question. You could have played a prudish Englishman and answered in a high pitched Oxford English: How dare you? That's inappropriate.
I once had a lady without even warning me that she was approaching, just come up behind me and lift the edge of my skirt in order to catch a peak in order to look-see. My wife PEAKED as she saw this happen!
Funny how in some ways the pendulum swings one way.
JoeBro wrote:Oh, they do notice. What's interesting is after they look you over and you ask them what they think they deny having noticed !
I couldn't agree more. People do indeed notice, it's all a matter of whether or not they choose to say anything. But I've found that the majority of people I encounter are often too wrapped up in their own lives and affairs to give a hoot about a guy in a skirt and won't bother me.
I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman.
I have a story that kind of made me feel better and more comfortable wearing in public.
Yesterday March 8,2014 was a day that i waited for for the past 5 months where the temperature was to go into the lower 50's. and being my day off i decided to wash the salt off of both of my vehicles. so i proceeded to get my cleaning supplies ready to take outside to start. well i had already had my knee length dark blue soft and stretchy cargo(as i would call it)skirt. so i ended up spending most of the day outside my home in my skirt. i was a little nervous at first...but after an hour or so i had gotten feeling better about it. now the temperature had gone to i think 65 degrees, so it was pretty warm.
there was a lot or traffic on the road in front of the house, i was a little on edge but didn't really notice anyone looking/starring or helicopters flying above...that's why i felt comfortable.
I went to the beach today after church and some yard work. Though the temperature was around 63F, the wind on the beach was too chilly to spend more than an hour there, despite finding a fair number of intact jingles which always entices me to keep walking and scanning the sand for thst distinctive gleaming. The Prana sweater skirt passed the chill test, I am happy to report, but I was soon wishing I had brought a jacket along. I got the usual number of uncomfortable glances, but no comments.
As a matter of fact, the sun DOES shine out of my ...
Hemitom wrote:...I was a little on edge but didn't really notice anyone looking/starring or helicopters flying above...that's why i felt comfortable.
now i hope to be able to do it again soon..
Good for you! You've passed the first and greatest hurdle, and from here it just gets easier.
As I've said many times before, people are shell-shocked by fashion anyway and really don't care what you wear. Look straight back, smile, wish 'em a good day, and carry on in confidence.
Courage, conviction, nerve, verve, dash, panache, guts, nuts, balls, gall, élan, stones, whatever. Get some and get skirted.
I think the answer to the question is usually "Yes", but there is a great deal of variation in what happens after they have noticed. The response can be positive, neutral or negative; it can also be strong, moderate or weak. In an ideal world, the response would be weak or competely absent, because people would be used to seeing men in skirts - but we have some way to go before that happens in the wider world, although (as others have noted) it can happen if the skirt-wearer is seen often enough by the same group of people.
As far as the type of response is concerned, we do have a lot of control over this by carefully selecting the kind of skirt we wear and the place we wear it. Some good advice, which was given to a colleague who transitioned male-to-female several years ago, but which is equally applicable to men choosing a skirt to wear in public, is to think about what sort of skirt a woman of your own age and build would look good wearing. Something resembling a frilly tu-tu is going to look just as ridiculous on a heavily-built man in his 50s as it would on a heavily-built woman of the same age, and it would be asking too much of the average passer-by to expect them to respond to a sight like that in a positive way.
A few years ago a group of American contra dancers visited England, some of them wore shorts and others wore skirts. Several people remarked that they didn't notice the skirts at first, because they blended in so well. They were just as short as the shorts, but they were made of heavy material, almost like furnishing fabric, and were nicely tailored. They certainly weren't dull and there was a good range of colours - but nothing outlandish. Needless to say, they were well received and all the responses I heard were positive.
Obviously even the most sober of skirts is not going to escape the condemnation of the dedicated bigot or the attentions of the booze-fuelled yob who is looking for trouble on a Saturday night; but, for the vast majority of people we encounter, the response we get will be the one we have asked for.
There is no such thing as a normal person, only someone you don't know very well yet.
Of course, the answer is, "Yes." When a man wears a skirt in public, some percentage of people are going to notice it. And of those, most will be surprised and some will disapprove. But so what? The same can be said of any piece of distinctive clothing.
The question of what constitutes a masculine skirt has been much discussed here, with no real resolution. But I do think the closer your skirted look resembles an appropriate non-skirted style helps.
The other important component is self-confidence. Don't cringe. Relax, look people in the eye, and wish 'em a nice day. If you show 'em you're a OK guy, that's how they'll treat you.
Courage, conviction, nerve, verve, dash, panache, guts, nuts, balls, gall, élan, stones, whatever. Get some and get skirted.
I can,t agree with those of you that say people do not notice our skirts. Maybe they don,t blink or raise an eyebrow, but they notice all right. It,s just that we are brought up not to stare, not to point, not to make remarks that could be impolite. Subconsciously, I think people don,t want to be thought unsophisticated, don,t want to show surprise that could be interpreted as being not quite with it, not quite up to date, and above all don,t want to show signs of any feelings, that could be regarded as racist in the broadest sense of the term, ie: lacking of understanding or acceptance of anyone that is different.
Whether they care or not is another question.
Martin
You could have played a prudish Englishman and answered in a high pitched Oxford English: How dare you? That's inappropriate. 
