sneaking skirts like the dhoti into my boring outfit

[jessimeon]

hi there,
summers coming and I'm in a neighborhood where theres gangs of lads on bicycles that harass you to your front door just for having long hair, every man in my family has long hair, i hate the itchy feeling of a barbers, long hair has been a male staple since the flipping 60's for crying out loud

now as most know aside from the western world the rest of the darn word male dresses and skirts are normal male clothing, it gets hot in south east England so the dhoti looks nice and ventilated, easy to put on and can be infinitely colorful depending on my mood.

it will buck what sociologists call your 'social script' with my family to wear a skirt even though African men wear a full dress like thing, much of Asia and India too wear skirts and Bhutan the men regularly wear skirts and some officials must by law wear a skirt to preserve their culture. as well as the skirt like items that the native newzealanders wear in their downright terrifying rituals and i think the only way round the harassment i would get locally will have to be toughed out (unless anyone has from experience a good come back that stumps them or confuses folks who cant handle skirts on men?) i see women everywhere in men's jeans and over sized male shirts which is full crossdressing but i don't see women harassed locally but its so hard to break this wall and without facing mockery and harassment in my area (i've been in physical danger before and surrounded it was pretty serious so its no minor matter).

so any tips with that would be good to diffuse the flack I'm gonna get would be helpful, i have a young face and long hair so i get insults just for that already

this forum isn't about it so i wont dwell but i want further stereotypical female clothing items in my wardrobe in future but at the moment the skirt is the first step for me i think just generally they're so cooling and far less restrictive than jeans, so yeah I'll just stick to skirt stuff.

i haven't worn a skirt outdoors in over a year, i have mental health problems like generalized anxiety and social anxiety disorder but i want to dress how I want with a nice colorful comfortable ventilated flowing skirt but i have a lot of personal demons to get through, i cant handle being shouted at in the street or mockery too well but i guess breaking the mold takes some hard times but again any advice or will making this an everyday sight deflate the 'novelty' over time?

its still too cold but when it gets warm ill get some thermal stockings and a dhoti, I'm short on dosh so that looks like the best way

however i do wish to get into ordinary skirts from a cheeky short one when its hot or a long flowing one and this is my main issue, i last wore the biggest thing Tesco had to just above my knee and it barely fit but i've gotten chubby now so nothing sold in shops fits me (plus with my social anxiety i prefer online buying) so the main question is do you guys have any good sites for me to get plus size dresses and skirts designed for men or women (a skirts a skirt)?

because the high street has nothing that fits me so i need a site or a postal catalog with plus size skirts, tights to keep my legs warm etc? i guess it'd be one of these clothing sites for big beautiful women

so yeah i really need a good lot of websites with good prices for plus size folks, I'm in the UK by the way and i cant afford importing them, i made the mistake of buying some cheap shirts from America and got to the post office with £20 of duty to pay!!! i only had 3 cheap tie dyes!

so any sites folks? along with advice dealing with these close minded whippersnappers following me about?

(i do keep an eye on my local charity shops by the way but theres only 2 and mostly they again do not have big sized skirts, plus theyre mostly very boring looking, often little colour , i may as well be wearing curtains they're so boring, just long grey and beige things, that may suit some but i'm youngish and like colour in my clothing)

[Different_Trains]

There is a thread here which has lots of links to skirts and similar un-bifurbricated garments:

http://www.skirtcafe.org/forums/viewtop ... f=2&t=8535

It's 9 pages long though so may take some time to work through them all. Hope that is of some help.

[Milfmog]

Hello Jessimeon, and welcome to our little corner of the internet.

Reading your post above it seems we are not a million miles apart as I also live in South East England. However, I do not recognise your experiences of name calling for long hair and have never experienced any real negativity when wearing a skirt (then again I'm big enough, old enough and ugly enough to encourage people to think twice before they get in my face and that may have something to do with it). Whereabouts in the SE are you?

As for where to buy skirts, I have trained a few local charity shops to know what I like and they will let me know if anything comes in in my size that they reckon would fit the bill. However, this has only produced a couple of purchases. Most of my skirts have come from Ebay. I usually have to ask the seller to take a tape measure to the skirt for the waist measurement and sometimes to the length and hem circumference, but that has produced some good skirts at prices that don't worry me too much if the fit is poor or I don't like the real thing when I see it. (I'm quite mean when bidding and rarely buy anything that I can't resell to recover my costs if that is required.)

Have fun,


Ian.

[Sarongman]

Sorry I can't be of help from this side of the world, but in Australia there is a chain called BIB (Big is Beautiful). There must be an equivalent in the U.K. Have you tried googling such from your end?
As to your environment, there is no easy answer. I believe abusive people are frightened of anything beyond their limited understanding and are usually impervious to reason. If this abuse can turn to physical abuse, then I have to say that discretion is the better part of valour. Whilst I live in a fairly conservative town here in OZ, I have never encountered any more than some long glances, and I am, I think, accepted as the skirted bloke. The few times I've gone out in trousers I have had the comment "What's wrong, why are you wearing trousers?"
BTW

[jessimeon]

I'm in Cambridgeshire/Cambridge, relatively close but try buying a train ticket from your county to mine and it'll seem muuuch further away!

[Milfmog]

I'm in Cambridgeshire/Cambridge, relatively close but try buying a train ticket from your county to mine and it'll seem muuuch further away!

Trains; yes I took one of those once... I have no intention of doing it again.

I have to say that I am surprised that you detect the levels of animosity you report in a University town; despite the conservatism of establishment towns I have always found both Oxford and Cambridge to pretty accepting places and have worn skirts in each on a number of occasions without incident. I guess everyone's experience is a little different.

It is probably worth pointing out that skirt wearing is like many other things in life, in that you tend to find what you look for. If you go out expecting trouble the chances are some kind soul will oblige. Uncertainty and nervousness are surprisingly easy to spot and can turn anyone into a victim. Equally a strong, confident attitude tends to dissuade others from taking a pop as they can smell the self-assurance and don't know what it's based on so discretion seems like a good idea. I used to go out and look to see what reaction I got and there were always reactions. Now I just go out and it is rare for me to even notice a second glance from others. I feel sure I still get the sidelong "what is he wearing?" from others, but I no longer see it and so don't react to it.

Have fun,


Ian.

[jessimeon]

sarongman: i know there are catalogs and things for larger women here i've seen the adverts on TV when i used to watch it years ago but i cant remember one brand name now!
ive been googling, id rather get second hand im not employed so i cant go splurging much i'm thinking demanding ebay sellers measure everything for me is the way to go as i cant really afford many new clothes. was a good suggestion by milfmog whatever one of those is... a milf appreciating cat? dunno

as for harassment im pretty good at karate and i could make them look very silly if they layed a hand on me, have a license that covers me legally if i use it in self defense and i got to black belt where i can fight with just light taps on pressure points that make you collapse and stuff like that, makes you look a right pineapple

i prefer to make people look stupid than beat them up if attacked, incapacitate harmlessly rather than go all Bruce lee, they're just closed minded idiots they'll grow up one day and look back at what a dick they are so i have the last laugh, thing is they will insist on making further generations of themselves, at 17 i was reading Foucault i dunno where these cretins come from

i have had them surround me on bikes constantly harassing me from where they hang out outside the local shop to my front door! and before they have been close to attacking me after surrounding me with wheels interlocked, not realizing that if i pushed a front wheel stacked against each other all in a line they'd all fall over themselves in a big bicycle heap anyway hahaha

its illegal I'm sure it would come under harassment laws and they call me 'tranny' and 'homo' (i happen to be bi) and the police take homophobic harassment pretty seriously but theres never a copper when you need one and i couldn't pick them out if asked; they all wear the same stuff and have shaved heads, are usually 17 and think they're 'well tough' they've no life experience and little ability to see past appearances...they're children to me but its just when it happens a lot even every day sometimes and you have mental health issues it grinds you down mentally and makes me even more socially anxious

[jessimeon]

oh no im confident and ignore them they simply have nothing to do and sit on their bikes surrounding the entrance to the only grocery shop in my village so i have to go in, i strut in puffing on a cigar but if you're even slightly unusual they will bother you, its their hobby they wait there, i ignore them but when its everyday and i do really have bad mental health it just grinds me down and makes me more of a hermit than i am already is all im saying its more that they've nowt to do than me acting the victim im afraid

[Milfmog]

Jessimeon,

Their behaviour is an offence under the Public Order Act 1986 (actually anything the police don't like seems to be an offence under section 5). I'd be inclined to make a formal complaint to the local police after having a word with the shop keeper. Behaviour like that is illegal, is bad for trade in the shop and is exactly what Mr Plod and his friends at the CPS should be dealing with.

It's a pretty safe bet that if they are intimidating you they are doing it to others too; however in your case the additional aspect of "hate crime" ought to ensure that the boys in blue take some action before you have a word with the local police and crime commissioner as the new PCCs are all desperate to prove how useful they are and no copper wants to be the first one through the mangle.

Have fun (and let the folks who are paid for it do the dirty work),


Ian.

[Sarongman]

id rather get second hand im not employed so i cant go splurging much

I understand completely, being a self funded retiree (AKA-poor old fart) and nearly all my skirts are either eBay purchases or op.( Charity) shop finds.Regarding screen names, there is a thread on site wnere these are explained by the owners. Regarding "Plods" you know you're old when you find the young bloke building down the road is a Superintendent!

[Milfmog]

...milfmog whatever one of those is... a milf appreciating cat? dunno

Sorry, I missed that, so here is the explanation of my user name. When I first registered a yahoo! account I was struggling to find a variation of my name that had not already been used unless I added an unmemorable number to it, I also wanted something reasonably short. In desperation I used my cat's name. She was a Siamese cross we adopted while holidaying with friends in Milford Haven (west Wales) hence the name Milfmog, a contraction of "The Milford Moggie". It's an odd name, but I've used it in so many places on the web that it feels a part of me now and I am reluctant to change it.

Have fun,


Ian.

[jessimeon]

Ah ok yeah i have names i like to use i have email addresses that are just my name squished up, my user name is a squashed abbreviated combination of 2 of my names so... i genuinely thought you were a milf chaser (nothing wrong with that, i like an older lady myself was engaged to one who's sadly not with us) but yeah didn't mean to besmirch yer character

[Milfmog]

...didn't mean to besmirch yer character

If you're ever unlucky enough to encounter me in meatspace you'll discover that there is not much to besmirch

Have fun,


Ian.

[jessimeon]

meat space....if the multiverse theory is true i'm not sure i want to stay in that dimension for long, i can imagine the flies will have been at it

[Kieran]

There's a website called Midas Clothing that has been mentioned on here before - http://www.midasclothing.com/pages/index.aspx
Not sure whether they do the size that you're looking for but they're worth a look.