How many members?

[couyalair]

I've just looked at the member list; there seems to be a new member signing on every two-three days (240 since I arrived here a year and a half ago).
This would seem to be very encouraging; there must be plenty of men out there interested in wearing skirts ... perhaps.

Then why have most of them given us no signs of life, no introduction, no contribution to the discussions?
What do they not like about the forum?
Are most of us here too outrageous for their taste? or too conservative?
Or did these people come here looking for something quite different from serious discussions about clothing?

Or perhaps we are just too literate?

It seems strange to me that anyone should join a group and not wish to take any active part.

Martin

[Departed Member]

Literacy & refinement are probably nothing if not a complete turn off on a website like this.
I'm sorry, but although I joined, stayed & posted I must say that, after having looked at older posts things used to be more lighthearted, more about skirting, & less about being curmudgeonly & mundane, as I see it now . . . . . . . . sorry!

Having said that there are several members who seem to enjoy posting & skirting in the most wonderful way.

(Yes, I expect some stick for this post, I know. Eek!)

[skirtingtoday]

The current number was higher until around the new year (nearly 1000) but I think quite a few of the ones who don't even look in after registering have been deleted. Certainy the numbers have been cut dramatically but they are rising again.

There are indeed quite a few who do not post though - I cannot think of a reason either but I do know that on another website (a SCI-FI one) where I was eventually a Moderator, there were quite a few who simply looked in but never posted anything or commented on any topic. A few others simply spouted spam and rubbish and were summarily dealt with
They had over 2000 members but it felt much quieter than here. That site has sadly gone now and has been taken over by cyber-squatters.

[crfriend]

Accurately gauging what the active membership in any form is at any given point in time is an inexact science at best and a black art at worst. My personal feeling, an I cannot at the moment produce any hard numbers to back that assertion up, is that we have perhaps 30 or so members who routinely contribute, maybe 50 who occasionally look in, and a large number who are infrequent visitors or who have gone completely inactive.

Folks come and go in on-line fora for a variety of reasons. They may tire of the atmosphere -- after all, how often can one state that, "I went out in a skirt today and nobody paid it much attention", or that one simply finds "skirts more comfortable than trousers". Too, they may have taken to heart the advice that we've been offering and have successfully gone out into the world sporting an alternate style. I hope that there are more of the latter than of the former.

Additionally, there's a general social malaise that's all around us at the moment, and that's likely grinding away at more than a few folks' psyches. Face it, it's a lot easier to challenge fashion and style conventions if one doesn't need to fear for where the next paycheck or meal is coming from -- or whether there's any long-term security at all. That's got to be at work behind the scenes.

SkirtingToday is correct that we underwent a purge of inactive members late last year -- and the criteria chosen for that purge were very conservative indeed. First and foremost, nobody who'd ever posted anything was removed, nor were users who'd even logged in within the past year removed even if they didn't post anything. If anybody's really interested, I may be able to find the SQL statements I used to find the number of accounts and the one that I used in the purge.

I feel I must disagree with Purecotton's assertion that literacy and refinement must be a "complete turn off". One of the tenets that makes SkirtCafe unique is that we put a high degree of importance on civility, and that's manifested in the "Mutual Respect at all times" rule. Having an all-out flame-war here is a very rare occurrence indeed, and when things do hot up a bit we're decent enough to argue the ideas in play without descending into name-calling. If this place was a continual free-for-all I'd have been gone years ago, or, more likely would have conceded that if this is the way that those who share an interest in style with me behave I might best reconsider said style. That said, there is a contrast between the writing styles of a few years ago and now -- and my work is no exception; the only excuse I can offer is that I am under increasing pressure from all sides in my "real world" professional and life.

Finally, in recent months -- specifically starting in October of last year -- we have seen a tremendous uptick in blatantly false registrations. These registrations are done programatically in order "spam" the forum, and while we have countermeasures in place the work of keeping the channel free of junk is getting quite demanding indeed. Baldly put, there are times when I wonder whether it's worth it; however, then I think of the other interesting personalities I've "met" here, and some very extraordinary conversation on both matters of skirts and not, and realise that it's really been worthwhile.

I still believe that SkirtCafe serves an important function -- that of advocacy and demonstration that skirts can work very well on guys, and that the notion deserves some active thought on the part of those who might want to give skirting a go. The sad part about that, though, is that it does tend to get a bit repetitive.

In the end analysis, the ultimate expression of what SkirtCafe may be about is when wearing a skirt -- anywhere -- is precisely as mundane as wearing a pair of chinos or jeans: it's just clothing. I wore my long black pleated skirt to work today, a black waistcoat, and a dark purple dress shirt. It's very comfortable, looks very good on, and suits my tastes -- and as far as anybody around me was concerned, I might as well have been wearing jeans and a T-shirt just like most everybody else. (Except that if I did that there would be much commotion because it would be different!)

[skirtyscot]

I feel I must disagree with Purecotton's assertion that literacy and refinement must be a "complete turn off".

But maybe they are to some people! Lots of posts on SC are pretty long - yours is 755 words, or half an essay when I was a student! Not everyone can be bothered reading long posts like that. This can include me - on-line comments on serious or contentious newspaper articles can be very long, and quite often if I see an entire screenfull in a single comment I just skip on to the next one. Sometimes the reader wants something quick, easy and light. Plenty of my posts have been lengthy as well, so I'm sorry if anyone has had to give up half way through!

The same goes for refinement. Maybe be some readers want light-hearted chat and the odd cheeky comment. Not all threads lend themselves to that, but many do, particularly when they digress from the original subject.

Of course members can choose what to join in with, what to read and what to miss. But if you found you wanted to miss most of it, you'd probably give up altogether.

There must be members who are skirting merrily, but having "been there, done that" they rarely feel the need to drop in at SC. Longer-standing members than me could probably think of quite a few. In fact I reckon that those who have got the T-shirt (so to speak) but still post regularly must be on some kind of mission. Campaigning to influence your fellow man to undermine the structure of our society! Revolutionaries! Commies!

[crfriend]

But maybe they are to some people! Lots of posts on SC are pretty long - yours is 755 words, or half an essay when I was a student! Not everyone can be bothered reading long posts like that. This can include me - on-line comments on serious or contentious newspaper articles can be very long, and quite often if I see an entire screenfull in a single comment I just skip on to the next one.

One of the things that amazes -- and amuses -- me is the damage that a generation of "sound bites" have done to our ability to communicate. And the onslaught of "Twitter" seems to me making it even worse!

When I was being taught the language, if one did not express himself in complete sentences, with good grammar, and an attempt at style one was pretty much guaranteed a failing mark. Today, however, if one does precisely those things he risks getting castigated -- even in the workplace. I am proof positive of that, and there remain two schools of thought: those who enjoy good writing and find it stimulating, and those who are in such a hurry that they "don't have the time" to absorb cogent thought. I guess they're running headlong into their next managerial mistake because they don't have the time to think, either.

A well put-together missive should be a joy to read, should engage the reader, and should also challenge the reader to think. That is not possible with a "bullet list". .38 S&W, .45 ACP, 9mm Parabellum, 7.65 NATO, .22 LR. See what I mean?

Sometimes the reader wants something quick, easy and light. Plenty of my posts have been lengthy as well, so I'm sorry if anyone has had to give up half way through!

When I encounter a long post I will invariably start in on it, primarily in the hopes that it will draw me in and engage my mind. I'll go a few paragraphs before deciding whether to skim the rest or dig in deep. The only time I'll completely disengage is if the piece is so incoherent that it causes me angst or offense. I find it very interesting -- and rewarding -- indeed that I very seldom have to disengage here.

There must be members who are skirting merrily, but having "been there, done that" they rarely feel the need to drop in at SC. Longer-standing members than me could probably think of quite a few. In fact I reckon that those who have got the T-shirt (so to speak) but still post regularly must be on some kind of mission. Campaigning to influence your fellow man to undermine the structure of our society! Revolutionaries! Commies!

There are more than a few in that category, including some of the original pioneers -- and you know who you are. They not only "got the T-shirt", they helped harvest the material for same and to fabricate it. In a real sense, we here stand upon the shoulders of giants because a lot of the heavy lifting has already been done, and much of it got done over a decade ago.

To finish off, and relieve the beleagured reader, I never count words. I am no James Michener. I use precisely the words I need to get my point across. SS, just so we're on the same wavelength, I took no offense in your commentary. Cheers!

[JPatrickM]

As one of the members who very rarely contribute, I have to admit that although I visit fairly regularly and spend half an hour or so reading other peoples posts, I often find I have nothing significant to add.to any given discussion. My skirt-wearing has settled into a regular pattern, I feel OK about it, several of my neighbours know and apparently accept it. I still don't go "out" skirted , except, very occasionally, for a solo country walk well away from home, when I find a skirt extremely comfortable.
I have to confess, also, that once or twice, I have written a post, pressed the wrong key and completely lost it, then given up and gone to bed. (I always check my e-mail, etc., last thing at night)
So there you have it. Whether I am in any way typical is anyone's guess.
Patrick

[kingfish]

+1 and then some...

I'm probably the one most deserving of the title "chronic lurker". For the past 8 years, I've averaged about one post every seven weeks or so, and read it just about every time I boot the computer.

I think my silence comes from not finding something poignant that really does add to the discussion, and self-editing.

[couyalair]

I can well understand the feeling of having nothing new or original to contribute, but I do try to add a few words to keep the forum alive, since, if a new person comes long and finds the forum inactive, he will probably not come back and the opportunity of helping someone get over his fears and prejudices will be lost.
Personally I prefer taking the time to read a long, well-thought-out message (cf Carl's) than wasting time searching for the latest addition to a thread and finding no more than a "me too" type message, one-liners that add nothing to the discussion. This is less a criticism of the writers than of the yuku system, which has a button "find new messages" but which takes you to the beginning of the thread, not to the latest addition.

The ones I don't bother to read through are the illiterate or sarky ones (on forums in general).

Martin

[waynek]

I confess to reading more than posting, but I'm not much of a talker either. When I see that this is still active it gives me hope that skirting for men is alive and well, even though I don't see any men in my area wearing skirts. I frequently wear my kilts, tartans and Utilikilts, but haven't ventured out past the mail box in my skirts, no matter how much I'd like to. It is the social issue of getting and keeping my wife and current and future jobs in this area. Any function or gathering of men in skirts would be a valid excuse, and hopfully encourage others in my living area to accept the change. Keep up the good writings, thanks

[Since1982]

Negative posts......pass

My Momma taught me that IF you can't say something nice, it might be better to not say anything at all.

[skirtyscot]

... and they say Americans can't do self-deprecating humour or sarcasm!

[kidme]

My Momma taught me that IF you can't say something nice, it might be better to not say anything at all.

that's why some of us just and stay

[Milfmog]

My Momma taught me that IF you can't say something nice, it might be better to not say anything at all.

that's why some of us just and stay

That is entirely reasonable; except that those who do post might occasionally like an idea of how many folks are reading. The danger with reading and never posting is that the writers get bored talking to themselves and then they stop posting.

There’s no need to reply to every thread, but surely, if you read enough of interest to keep you coming back to read more, sometimes you must have a different perspective on the subject or maybe you just want to agree. Either way a little feedback goes a long way to keeping the contributors engaged and busy.

Have fun,


Ian.

(Not having a dig; just providing an alternative view…)

[calidude]

Ok, it worked - another often lurker, rare poster, and the reasons are common, not much new to add. The other issue is time, living a busy life, leaves me not much time for thoughtful, reasoned response. Not unlike Mark Twains apology the the effect of not having time to write a short letter, so this one is long.

I do appreciate the comments and support in general. Thanks

Anyway, skirted at home usually, heading out on vaca with the wife, planning on a no pants week.

cheers!