It's a been a while...

[straightfairy]

so an update is perhaps in order..
First of all, i've stopped wearing skirts in public - mainly due the MD of the company specifically 'asking' me not to wear one to work anymore, even though my boss and head of HR had ok'd it. He didn't give a reason, so I have to assume he's either scared that clients will not give us work (I'm not in a client facing role for most of the time) or personal prejudice.
The dress code for our new office states, trousers, shirt and tie for men, while the women can more or less wear what they want, still.

For skirts to wear in public (at some point) I'm becoming increasingly choosy and picking more masculine designs. My two latest ones are both maxi length denim items with 5 pockets and no feminine details (one from Marks and Spencer, the other from Next, for uk readers).
NB. I have a 33" waist. I bought the M+S one in UK size 14 and it's a touch loose, but great with a belt. I bought the Next one in UK size 12 and it fits superbly. There's plenty of movement in both unless you plan on running.

For house stuff, I just go for comfort, so in the last few months I have bought a couple of indian kurtas (more like a dress), a couple of maxi jersey dresses (about £10 each), a couple of T-shirt dresses to wear as night shirts, a GAP tunic and a tube jersey maxi skirt, for winter warmth.

when skirt shopping, I now take a tape measure with me as the actual cloth varies somewhat from stated sizes..
I nearly bought 2 additional ones today, too.
One was a 'bondage style skirt' (for men) in an 'adult' shop in Leeds, reduced from £55 to £10!! but the medium size measured out at 38" waist (I'm 33")
The other was an office pencil skirt in Zara for £20. right size, right colour, front zip and clasp closure, 4 pockets where you'd get them on office trousers - until I noticed that the pockets were all fakes, shame.

[Milfmog]

Hi Straightfairy,

Good to have you back again.

The dress code for our new office states, trousers, shirt and tie for men, while the women can more or less wear what they want, still.

This is probably illegal if it is an accurate statement of the dress code. While it is legal in the UK to specify different dress codes for men and women it is not legal to treat any group more advantageously than another.

It might be worth getting a written copy of the dress code looked at by the local Citizens Advice Bureau. Even if you do not want to make a fuss about the trousers, others may prefer not to wear a tie in hot weather (or any other time come to that), so a note from the CAB saying they have seen the dress code and believe it to be illegal could have been provoked by any (male?) employee. Such a note ought to be enough to get the decision makers to reconsider exactly what they require from their staff particularly in areas that do not directly impact on the way the business operates.

Irrespective of the dress code at work, your post implies that you have stopped wearing skirts out and about in your own time. Why is that?

Have fun,


Ian.

[straightfairy]

I simplified the dress code, but it says 'smart business casual' for women, and the vast majority in my building at least only meet the 'casual' part of that.
It certainly wouldn't stand up in a court, but, I'm in a relatively junior position and my job certainly isn't secure enough to go rocking legal boats, especially in the current economic climate.

Confidence is probably the main reason I've not been wearing a skirt outside the house; the work thing certainly didnt help, but I've had other stuff going on that hasn't helped.

[crfriend]

It certainly wouldn't stand up in a court, but, I'm in a relatively junior position and my job certainly isn't secure enough to go rocking legal boats, especially in the current economic climate.

And they're likely counting on that.

It's worth bearing in mind that a whole lot of what goes on in "business" is little more than power games and territory-marking. That things like dress codes still exist point that up, to the extent that many folks don't understand the difference betwixt casual grunge and "proper attire" any longer.

Confidence is probably the main reason I've not been wearing a skirt outside the house; the work thing certainly didnt help, but I've had other stuff going on that hasn't helped.

This one's rather saddening, and I hope that work hasn't deprived you of your most basic self (BTDT, by the way) because that would most assuredly "suck". Best of luck sorting the mess out!

[STEVIE]

All lives are a series of compromises and accommodations, more so we who go out on a limb. I've no idea of your circumstances, but if you must "go underground" then so be it. Don't give up on skirting unless you really want to. Private or public, it doesn't matter, find your own way to some degree of personal happiness. Me, I am 52 and only just discovering lifes' possibilties in a skirt.
Do not lose heart.
Steve

[straightfairy]

It's worth bearing in mind that a whole lot of what goes on in "business" is little more than power games and territory-marking. That things like dress codes still exist point that up, to the extent that many folks don't understand the difference betwixt casual grunge and "proper attire" any longer.

True enough, but as a definite 'minion', I'm not about to start playing power games against the MD, especially when his brother is the owner and CEO of the company...
The daft thing is, is that before we moved office there wasn't a dress code at all; as the new offices and HQ are designed to be more corporate and client friendly they've introduced the dress code to 'smarten' everyone up.
All it needed was a quite word in the ears of the some of the scruffier ones.
It hasn't changed anything significantly. site personnel have to wear 'corporate type' site wear (no denim allowed), the scruffy people wear slightly smarter clothes but still look scruffy, and women can still wear more or less what they like. Skirt or not, I'm still dressed smarter than most.
The real irony is that the CEO and MD are Scottish...

I do still wear skirts at home

[crfriend]

I'm not about to start playing power games against the MD, especially when his brother is the owner and CEO of the company...

That's completely and wholly understandable. One needs to look after one's own needs after all.

The daft thing is, is that before we moved office there wasn't a dress code at all; as the new offices and HQ are designed to be more corporate and client friendly they've introduced the dress code to 'smarten' everyone up.

It sounds more like they "dumbed it down" by specifying a uniform that everybody with a whit of gumption will try to buck and the more slovenly just won't care about (it's worth noting that I have, in the past, inhabited both camps). It's a lose-lose prospective that the typical territory-marking dog fails to grasp.

All it needed was a quite word in the ears of the some of the scruffier ones.

They don't listen. BTDT.

The real irony is that the CEO and MD are

This does not excuse them from being territory-marking dogs.

Leaders inspire their people to go above and beyond; commanders compel their subordinates to comply. There's a big difference between the two.

I do still wear skirts at home

Good! You're at the point I was a couple of years ago when things were really (and I mean really) bad at work. Back then I deliberately used my skirts as a bright and vivid dividing-line between my "work persona" (an abject underling who garnered no respect and lots of abuse) and my "real life" one (who is none of the above).

Bear with it for a bit. New opportunities tend to present themselves in sometimes strange ways.

[straightfairy]

I should mention I bought another skirt today from Gap.
Knee length denim, pencil, but slightly a-line with some stretch, 5 pocket, size 12 (measured waist actually 32.5")m, £35. It's on both the UK and US websites.
its pretty much as masculine a skirt as I'm likely to find for some time and ticks all the boxes for me. I'd possibly prefer a little longer, but that's it.