What feminine items do you wear?

Discussion of fashion elements and looks that are traditionally considered somewhat "femme" but are presented in a masculine context. This is NOT about transvestism or crossdressing.
jamie001
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What feminine items do you wear?

Post by jamie001 »

My normal mode of presentation (go anywhere, do anything) is as a feminine male. It is so nice, relaxing, and liberating to be able to be myself all of the time.

What other feminine items in addition to skirts do you always wear?

My feminine male mode consists of the following:

1. Feminine golden blond hair style with bangs.

2. Women's purse. I only own women's purses that will never be mistakes for an ugly guy purse.

3. Women's Yoga pants.

4. Women's open toe sandals all year round as I live in a warm climate.

5. Professionally pedicured bright red or bright pink toenails with a gold toe ring on the second toe of each foot.

Everyone knows that I am playing for the girl's team!
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Re: What feminine items do you wear?

Post by Ray »

To answer that, I’m not sure how to respond. By feminine, do you mean feminine by your perception, or those of others? Or both?

I wear skirts. They tend to be grey, black, burgundy in colour. Feninine? Not in my eyes.

I wear opaque hosiery. Usually black but I’ll veer off into colourful ones. Feminine? Not to me.

I wear sheer hosiery. Not stockings. Feminine? I accept that they will be seen as such, but as a reasonable proportion of my sheer tights are marketed to men, I’m not sure that’s always the case!

Shoes? Okay, I’ll wear heels at times. Only court shoes. You’ve got me!

Do I wear jeans? No way! Too feminine ;-)
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Re: What feminine items do you wear?

Post by crfriend »

jamie001 wrote:
Mon Jul 18, 2022 8:17 pm
My feminine male mode consists of the following:

1. Feminine golden blond hair style with bangs.
2. Women's purse. I only own women's purses that will never be mistakes for an ugly guy purse.
3. Women's Yoga pants.
4. Women's open toe sandals all year round as I live in a warm climate.
5. Professionally pedicured bright red or bright pink toenails with a gold toe ring on the second toe of each foot.
On a count by count basis:

1) Men have blond hair just like women have blonde hair. No difference. The style makes little difference. There are plenty of women with shaved heads.
2) Men's purses are rare commodities once one gets outside Europe so there's not much choice if a guy wants/needs to carry a bag.
3) YUCK!
4) I find bare feet entirely unattractive on either sex, and where bare feet are acceptable full nudity should be acceptable.
5) See 4.

Quite clearly, I'm batting for the men's team (and likely a subset of those).
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Re: What feminine items do you wear?

Post by Coder »

jamie001 wrote:
Mon Jul 18, 2022 8:17 pm
My normal mode of presentation (go anywhere, do anything) is as a feminine male. It is so nice, relaxing, and liberating to be able to be myself all of the time.

What other feminine items in addition to skirts do you always wear?
So, oddly enough as others have already stated... I don't consider what I wear "feminine" although from an outsiders perspective that may seem like a cop-out. I assume we are talking about western femininity as expressed by clothes and presentation modes that are typically reserved for women.

Basically, I wear what I like but I don't define it in terms of masculinity/femininity. That being said, if I go "too far" and something is too feminine - be it a color that I strongly associate with women, lace (although I like frilly edges, they just don't feel right on me), or it seems like I'm trying to "be" a woman I am not comfortable with it. But femininity - or masculinity - isn't an end to a means for me.
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Re: What feminine items do you wear?

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by jamie001 » Mon Jul 18, 2022 2:17 pm

My normal mode of presentation (go anywhere, do anything) is as a feminine male. It is so nice, relaxing, and liberating to be able to be myself all of the time.

What other feminine items in addition to skirts do you {always} wear?
SC is by definition about MEN in skirts. I have found general concurrence in stipulating that clothes have no gender. One of the key 'battles' in my mind is to eliminate the duality of feminine and masculine -- it is a "duel" none of us should have to engage. Granted, I came to wearing skirts by reason of comfort the garment offered; and in doing so have had to confront the stereotypes and the implications in other's minds that somehow a garment, a color, an attitude, a profession -- must for some unknown reason be stamped as feminine or masculine. I don't buy it, and with that bit of philosophical solipsism I will address what I suspect is the curious question you are asking -- Do I {frequently} wear other garments that in some parts of the globe are more commonly associated with the female of the species.

Yes: The only one in addition to skirts that I use with some consistency, is a slip to add either modesty to a thin skirt or to allow the skin and fabric(s) to move freely. I have also been known, neither by design nor aversion, to wear a shirt that may have had the buttons on the "wrong" side. Oh, I tried a girdle that was in the costume clothing play box when I was 8 years old -- it earned no repeats. :lol: To be a bit less flippant, at times I enjoy colors, patterns, and fabrics that have been, in some minds said to be feminine --I have even gone so far as to wear them to intentionally provoke thought--but underneath, I'm just a person.
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Re: What feminine items do you wear?

Post by Kirbstone »

None. I have briefly worn 2" courts just for the photo-shoot, but I wouldn't go out anywhere in them. Hair? that's long gone.

I'm no longer Alpha, but I'm all male, period. I happen to love the appearance and feel of skirts, but not below the knees, really. Colder weather calls for hose of course, generally flesh coloured for me. Serious denier numbers to cover up the Neanderthal hair penumbra, never to be shaven again. (Once was enough!)

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denimini
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Re: What feminine items do you wear?

Post by denimini »

I assume you mean what would be considered "traditionally or conventionally" feminine items as I don't think I wear any feminine items, or masculine ones either; just garments of my personal choice. I do have a small black purse that I use for small change but I remain oblivious of it's gendered association.
Anthony, a denim miniskirt wearer in Outback Australia
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Re: What feminine items do you wear?

Post by STEVIE »

Hi Jamie
Sorry dude but wrong question, not stupid but out of place in the cafe.
Not just commercial labelling but general attitude to gender assignment of clothes is a major factor in the repressive nature of menswear.
I wear skirts, dresses, shoes and other bits from both sides of the shopping divide.
As I don't believe that they breed in the stockrooms, gender is really applicable or relevant actually.
Ascribing gender labels to inanimate objects is a social construct and no more. Unfortunately in clothes it is so deeply embedded in the collective psyche that all sorts of myths , legends and taboos surround it.
What other folk may perceive of my dress sense is a whole other issue but one that is of no concern to me.
Equally I don't care how anyone else names their own either.
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Re: What feminine items do you wear?

Post by Bodycon »

STEVIE wrote:
Tue Jul 19, 2022 5:16 am
Sorry dude but wrong question, not stupid but out of place in the cafe.
I don't think its out of place; many patrons wear other feminine style clothing (lets just call it marketed to women) be that underwear, nightwear, shoes, accessories etc. Many posts and pictures confirm this, though I think "labels" are what is stopping people admitting to it (if that is the rights description - probably not).

I'm vanilla in that respect, a few skirts for walking and hiking and a couple of others (denim, cord and cargo style) as I only dabble in skirts for general wear. I wear tights when required by weather or insects, but I don't have any other femme stuff, not because I wouldn't, it just isn't me.
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Re: What feminine items do you wear?

Post by rivegauche »

I do the man in skirts thing but I also crossdress so I have almost very type of clothing item a woman would have. Even women's trousers are more comfortable than men's. In public I probably wear skirts as a man slightly more often than I go out dressed as a woman. In the last two weeks I have done two of each. At home I spend most of my life in dresses and wear what a woman would wear with a dress including jewellery but I pass on the make up and wig. In this hot weather a dress is so much more comfortable. I dressed as a woman for an excursion yesterday with a woman friend but the benefits of my silk dress were offset by the discomfort of the wig. Fortunately my car has air-conditioning.
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Re: What feminine items do you wear?

Post by jamie001 »

This thread has brought up the conversations that I believe really needs to be discussed. For men to be completely accepted in skirts, I believe that the only way to achieve fashion freedom is the follow the same route that women followed. If a woman incorporates items from men's fashion (accessories, shoes, pants, neckties, large men's watches, and the list goes on and on) she is considered to be 'fashionable". On the other hand, if a man incorporates items from women's fashion, the same is not true!

Why does this double standard exist? The reason is because women are considered inferior and that a man should never lower his status by emulating anything that a woman does including her fashion. It is really that simple and that is why the stigma against men wearing skirts exists in the first place.

There are two ways to go about winning the fashion freedom battle:

1. The world and the fashion industry will wake-up and realize that fashion and clothing is really genderless. In other words, they will drop the concept of gendered garments, gendered makeup, and other items. Unfortunately this will never happen! There is more of a possibility of an ice age in Florida than the world declaring fashion as "de-gendered". It just isn't going to happen! I know that this is what a lot of folks here on the Cafe would like to see, but it is just unrealistic.

2. The second method of winning the battle is for men to incorporate women's fashion (skirts, purses, makeup) and gendered feminine items that we would like into our overall daily presentation. A lot of folks there on the cafe already do this. You will be viewed as "feminine" by many folks in society, however there is nothing wrong with being viewed as "feminine". Society needs to loose the concept that anything feminine is inferior. By taking this approach and being proud of wearing feminine garments and other fashion items we are making a statement that feminine and masculine are equivalent and there are even cases where feminine is better. Both men and women have a feminine and a masculine side. Women are taught to embrace their feminine and masculine sides. Girls in America can even join the Boy Scouts. Why can't the boys join the Girl Scouts? Think about that. On the other hand, boys and men are taught to eschew anything that is feminine and if they don't abide by this man-box rule, the feminine expression is literally beaten out of them by insecure boys. That is the root of the problem! By incorporating feminine fashion into men's appearance, we are making a statement that feminine is equal and that we are not ashamed of being seen as feminine, since we are a combination of feminine and masculine characteristics. We will open up the door for men to explore feminine fashion and emotions that were previously taboo or buried. I applaud people in the music industry like Harry Styles and some rappers that are proudly embracing feminine fashions while not full-on crossdressing and trying to be mistaken for a woman. I really believe that this option #2 is an obtainable option within our lifetimes.

I realize that there will be many different options on this topic, however I would rather be fighting a battle that it is possible to win than hanging on to an impossible ideal.

Respectfully,

Jamie
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Re: What feminine items do you wear?

Post by Myopic Bookworm »

jamie001 wrote:
Tue Jul 19, 2022 6:06 pm
Why does this double standard exist? The reason is because women are considered inferior and that a man should never lower his status by emulating anything that a woman does including her fashion. It is really that simple and that is why the stigma against men wearing skirts exists in the first place.
...
You will be viewed as "feminine" by many folks in society, however there is nothing wrong with being viewed as "feminine". Society needs to lose the concept that anything feminine is inferior. ... I applaud people in the music industry like Harry Styles and some rappers that are proudly embracing feminine fashions while not full-on crossdressing and trying to be mistaken for a woman.
I tend to agree.

When I wear something that people might consider "feminine", I am in some respects trying to "claim" it for men, just as women have already "claimed" male items such as trousers, ties, and boots. My style preference is to wear skirts or dresses -- which are perceived as generically feminine -- but to style them consciously in a way that can be interpreted as masculine. (Even in women's clothing as worn by women, I dislike a lot of pointless "feminization" such as added frills.) This may result in flirting with androgyny, but I have no desire to be mistaken for a woman (and I also tend to avoid styles associated with overtly gay men).

[On one occasion I was spotted in a kilt by a new neighbour; she recounted afterwards thinking "what an extremely ugly woman", before realizing (much too late, considering her Scottish background) that I was a man in a kilt. That has convinced me that passing as a woman is never going to be in my repertoire!]

As for ungendering clothing, MOH points out that people of different sexes are generally different shapes, so in many cases you would still have to have men's and women's items. The most obvious aspect is the lack in men of what one YouTuber delightfully refers to as "boobage", which radically affects dressing the top half. But, as she also notes, people of the same sex are also different shapes: for example, she can't wear M&S skirts as they are not the right shape for her (though I have one that fits me well enough!); so there is room for making less fuss about people's sex when selling clothes, and paying more explicit attention to actual body shape.
jamie001
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Re: What feminine items do you wear?

Post by jamie001 »

I agree with your comment regarding making clothing for different body shapes. What I worry about is that if skirts for men ever really catch on in the fashion world, the fashion designers will give us skirts in boring drab colors of black, brown, gray, and navy blue in attempt to masculinize the skirt. The point that I am trying to make is that there is nothing wrong with women's skirts they way that they are! I love the color and pattern options and don't want a masculinized version in drab colors. If that happens, then we are back in the same rut that men's fashion has been stuck in for the past 150 years.

Just give use female style skirts in existing lengths, colors and patterns that women currently wear but offer them in more sizes to fit a male body. Don't try to masculinize the skirt! Just give us the sizes that we want in all of the colors and options that the women currently have. Yes a skirt with pink flowers is feminine, but there is nothing wrong with feminine and I happen to like those types of skirts.
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Re: What feminine items do you wear?

Post by crfriend »

jamie001 wrote:
Tue Jul 19, 2022 6:06 pm
Why does this double standard exist?
Yes, why is it in a world where there is precious little room for traditional masculinity in the ecosystem where the women now inhabit every last micro-hectare? I'll posit that it has precisely nothing to do with "inferiority" or "superiority", but rather to do with fragile male egos.

Take a look around you. Women have encroached completely into what used to be the man's domain and have made it their own. They run heavy machinery, they drive massive Stupid Urban Vehicles, they sport tattoos, and generally behave like boorish men. That's not my world -- and my world always cherished women for what they brought to the table.

Years ago, when I was driving a little tiny sports-car, I wanted to fit the thing with a train-horn that would, "make the biggest, nastiest, most macho SUV driver soil herself" when hearing the horn after I was cut off on the motorway.

The point is that in the modern world, women have supplanted men in every conceivable role save for fathers (and we have sperm donors for that now). What's left for us?

Points of note include that most of the things you note as "feminine" (which no longer exists) have historical context for men. We need to take some of that space back, and perhaps even to take back the emotional space that we've relinquished over the years. The "spectrum" (to use the radio-frequency term) outside the "masculine" is now largely vacant; I suspect we can expand into it if there are the guts to do it. It's no longer "feminine"; it's ours for the taking.

Stop harping on it, and tune the transmitter to a different frequency.
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Re: What feminine items do you wear?

Post by SkirtsDad »

Whilst I'm pretty much on the same page as Stevie, I note that some conversation has been generated around construct and ideas of gender. On that note, I came across this clip relating to masculinity that I hope some of you might find interesting: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PfHo9oCP-2g
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