The skirt... still a bridge too far it seems.

Discussion of fashion elements and looks that are traditionally considered somewhat "femme" but are presented in a masculine context. This is NOT about transvestism or crossdressing.
jamie001
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Re: The skirt... still a bridge too far it seems.

Post by jamie001 »

Great cartoon and so appropriate. Thanks for posting it.
Dust
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Re: The skirt... still a bridge too far it seems.

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STEVIE wrote: Sat Jun 11, 2022 5:28 pm
jamie001 wrote: Thu Jun 09, 2022 1:54 pm The root of the problem is misogyny. According to the man code (which is a total load of BS), a man must not use or associate with any item that is considered feminine.
Hi Jamie.
We may know that the "man code" is way beyond it useful life but not everyone does and it isn't simply misogyny.
I have no idea how old you are but I'm 64 and brainwashed taught to believe that girl things belonged to them exclusively while boy things could be shared. There was never a question of females being regarded as inferior in any respect.
That taboo is so deeply ingrained in boys that they will carry it to their graves unless there is some aspect of their psyche which can actually rise to combat it. Some even end up here at the cafe.
Steve
It's not misogyny. Misandry is closer, but not quite right either.

By the time I was growing up, it was not that boy things could be shared, it's that they must be shared. Now it seems like there are only girl things and unisex.

As to the "man code," there will always be unspoken rules, and that's all it really is, the unspoken rules that men are pressured to follow. Going against the grain is hard. But done successfully, for a good reason, it's worth it. It is the only way to enact change...
STEVIE
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Re: The skirt... still a bridge too far it seems.

Post by STEVIE »

Hi Dust
The worst part is that it can be men themselves who are most guilty of the misandry. We just don't like one of our own not toeing the line
Women are a hell of a lot better at supportive behaviour than most of us will ever be.
Steve.
Dust
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Re: The skirt... still a bridge too far it seems.

Post by Dust »

It's true that men are usually the ones enforcing these conventions. We can be brutal to each other.

At the same time, it is usually women who set the standards. They often don't know they are doing it. But both the men and women involved know this on at least a subconscious level. This is why having a supportive wife or girlfriend is so valuable. If you have a woman with you giving her tacit approval, it signals to every guy who sees it that what you are doing is okay.
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crfriend
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Re: The skirt... still a bridge too far it seems.

Post by crfriend »

Dust wrote: Wed Jun 15, 2022 11:34 pmIt's true that men are usually the ones enforcing these conventions. We can be brutal to each other.
And we frequently are, whether deliberately or not. This is sad.
At the same time, it is usually women who set the standards. They often don't know they are doing it. But both the men and women involved know this on at least a subconscious level. This is why having a supportive wife or girlfriend is so valuable. If you have a woman with you giving her tacit approval, it signals to every guy who sees it that what you are doing is okay.
This is one of the prime reasons I mourned the passing of my ex- so much and so painfully. She was actually thrilled that my discovery of skirts got me out of a rut I'd been in my entire life. She not just encouraged it, she celebrated it.
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
Dust
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Re: The skirt... still a bridge too far it seems.

Post by Dust »

crfriend wrote: Thu Jun 16, 2022 12:36 am This is one of the prime reasons I mourned the passing of my ex- so much and so painfully. She was actually thrilled that my discovery of skirts got me out of a rut I'd been in my entire life. She not just encouraged it, she celebrated it.
Sounds like a darn good woman! Puts a smile on my face just hearing that little bit about her.
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Uncle Al
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Re: The skirt... still a bridge too far it seems.

Post by Uncle Al »

One of the 1st times out in public, wearing a skirt, my wife was extremely nervous.
We ran into some relatives and, during the conversation, she stuttered out
"He's wearing a skirt". They just accepted it as normal and commented how
good it looked and comfortable in the heat wave we were experiencing.

From that point on, she was a great supporter and even helped to pick out
some new skirts. She even purchased a Prince Charlie jacket to go with
my kilts :D

Boy, I sure do miss her :(

Uncle Al
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Re: The skirt... still a bridge too far it seems.

Post by STEVIE »

Dust wrote: Wed Jun 15, 2022 11:34 pm If you have a woman with you giving her tacit approval, it signals to every guy who sees it that what you are doing is okay.
It is a valid point but we have to learn to tough it out too.
Woman don't behave like they need to be on a guys arm to justify their existence.
Steve.
Dust
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Re: The skirt... still a bridge too far it seems.

Post by Dust »

STEVIE wrote: Fri Jun 17, 2022 4:59 am
Dust wrote: Wed Jun 15, 2022 11:34 pm If you have a woman with you giving her tacit approval, it signals to every guy who sees it that what you are doing is okay.
It is a valid point but we have to learn to tough it out too.
Woman don't behave like they need to be on a guys arm to justify their existence.
Steve.
Of course women don't need to justify anyone's existence (hers, a man's, etc.). But it's a heck of a confidence boost, and we should be helping each other out. All this stuff is way harder when we go it alone...
STEVIE
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Re: The skirt... still a bridge too far it seems.

Post by STEVIE »

Dust wrote: Fri Jun 17, 2022 2:50 pm But it's a heck of a confidence boost, and we should be helping each other out. All this stuff is way harder when we go it alone...
And do we hear a great HALLELUJAH to that?
So true and yes, in a one to one situation I truly enjoy female company.
To expand on that is a drift too far, maybe a personal story for another day.
Looks like we have a common hymnary though, just have to get more dudes to sing the same tunes,
Steve.
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