It's not really a big deal after all!!!

Discussion of fashion elements and looks that are traditionally considered somewhat "femme" but are presented in a masculine context. This is NOT about transvestism or crossdressing.
rode_kater
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Re: It's not really a big deal after all!!!

Post by rode_kater »

Agreed, it isn't deception. denmini said it much more succinctly than I was thinking. He's executing his (in NL anyway) constitutionally protected right to self-expression. The public situations where your sex is relevant are very few.

It's also not unusual, I follow the /r/crossdressing on Reddit and some of the people on there are good. You would not pick them out on the street at all. They are however catering to a different (and much larger) crowd than here. Every now and then I see someone deciding that they'd like to wear skirts while presenting as male and I mention the existence of Skirtcafe, maybe it helps.

It's worth noting that they are also seeing an improvement in the situation with respect to public acceptance. However, as we all know, the biggest road blocks remain the partners & family. Friends and the public tend not to care.
rivegauche
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Re: It's not really a big deal after all!!!

Post by rivegauche »

Sinned wrote:
Sat Jun 05, 2021 8:50 pm
Fair enough, rivergauche. I agree that my opinion doesn't matter as long as you external perception fits with your internal visualisation. As for acting the role of a woman then if that's your motivation then you become like any other actor playing a role, no less, no more. I have no trouble with your appearing in any way you choose, it's just that your text read more like a justification and wasn't succeeding. Apologies if I misinterpreted, it was not intentional and I didn't want to appear critical If that's what happened then it wasn't my intention. Peace, brother. :flower:
Pax vobiscum. I have had many holidays in York dressed as a woman and stayed in the (now gone) Abbotsmews Hotel. All went well - let nobody tell you the people of York are dour and disapproving - they were lovely. Haven't been back to York for many years. Wonderful city.
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Sinned
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Re: It's not really a big deal after all!!!

Post by Sinned »

I agree with your sentiments about York. I've often appeared out and about, mainly in mini- or short skirts, and nobody has given any negative impressions. Being on the outskirts of the city I rarely go into the centre. If you ever plan a forage here let me know and, within the parameters of trying not to aggravate my wife, I will try and meet, however you a clothed.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
Faldaguy
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Re: It's not really a big deal after all!!!

Post by Faldaguy »

by rivegauche » Fri Jun 04, 2021 12:38 pm

I wear skirts and even dresses as a man but I also do the whole presenting as a woman thing. I have occasionally asked myself if this is a form of deception and eventually concluded it was not. If I am viewed from a distance, people probably assume I am female as I am very well dressed and can walk like a woman. The only people I interact with know I am male and I am happy for them to know this. I have used ladies' toilets 3 times. The first two times I was in a hotel and asked permission at Reception - they were fine with it. The third time was in a leisure complex (venue for a fashion event) and I had a woman friend with me. No one reacted to me and I was in and out quickly. I don't think anyone has been deceived in any way that matters - why would it matter if a person walked past you that you thought was a woman who turned out not to be?
Rivergauche,
Before I comment on your actions above, let me say that personally I find the whole notion of gender separation and privacy not only silly, but probably unhelpful to social relationships between the genders -- BUT, I do think I'd be overly cautious to avoid the cross-gender bathroom stops in a public venues as opening the door to charges of whatever notion of perversion the local ordinances may carry. Nor can I see any need given the Men's rooms seldom have the waiting lines. I have no reservation about using a vacant "women's restroom" when it is a single party facility and vacant when another is not; and most women's restrooms have stalls used most of the time for most activity limiting 'exposure' -- so you are probably pretty safe that way, but in the US especially, and some other countries, a lot of obsessed 'do-gooders' will raise a stink and report nearly anything that even begins to smack of sexual perversion. Dress as you please, and mostly go where you please as well -- but crossing the line into the sacred women's domain of restrooms in the US may get you a court appearance or worse.
rivegauche
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Re: It's not really a big deal after all!!!

Post by rivegauche »

Once again the 'Land of the Free' isn't all that free. I cannot believe al that Bathroom Law stuff in the US. I am told that it is not illegal for a man to use the women's toilet in the UK but if the authorities wanted to be awkward they could probably get you for 'Behaviour likely to cause a breach of the peace' which is an offence in Scotland. In theory - but I don't think it would happen. The UK has become a very relaxed country about stuff like that. On the other hand I am very aware that my using a Ladies' toilet I am invading a perceived women-only space and as I stated I asked permission twice and had a woman with me the third time. I think that we who indulge in what I call gender tourism have an obligation to treat women with respect and not exploit the 'woke' situation - there is already a backlash from the traditionalists because of perception that even women who used to be legally male are perceived as having more rights than women who have always been legally women (words chosen very carefully). I read something once about a person who identified as female using a communal changing room and walking about dangling something most women don't have, simply because they could. Arrogant and gross.
pelmut
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Re: It's not really a big deal after all!!!

Post by pelmut »

It's not what you've got, it's how you behave that matters.
There is no such thing as a normal person, only someone you don't know very well yet.
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Sinned
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Re: It's not really a big deal after all!!!

Post by Sinned »

rg, sometimes it's not the authorities that would strongly object, but some women! I have met some really bolshy women that would not just object loudly and vociferously but would not be above breaking your nose for your action! And I have led a relatively sheltered life. That you have had such success is remarkable. Fair enough if the gents is over-run and you've asked permission to use the ladies and it's been granted. I have used a lightly ( unusual ) used ladies with my wife and vice versa but I wouldn't do so without asking. It is an area where you should tread carefully.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
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