Dress

Discussion of fashion elements and looks that are traditionally considered somewhat "femme" but are presented in a masculine context. This is NOT about transvestism or crossdressing.
rode_kater
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Re: Dress

Post by rode_kater »

From that site:
Culottes are often used in girls school uniforms as an option to shorts to give freedom of movement for gym and other activities.
So what do the boys get to wear during gym then if it isn't shorts?
Stu
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Re: Dress

Post by Stu »

rode_kater wrote:
Wed Jan 27, 2021 12:31 pm
So what do the boys get to wear during gym then if it isn't shorts?
Boys at many UK schools are allowed to wear skirts. In theory. They allow them that option so that they can give girls a choice, but they know perfectly well it's not a genuine choice for boys because it would be a major taboo if any did and they would be ridiculed and bullied.

They call it "equality".
Grok
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Re: Dress

Post by Grok »

"Equality"....in other words, a cynical form of virtue signaling.
MrSoapsud
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Re: Dress

Post by MrSoapsud »

Stu wrote:
Wed Jan 27, 2021 1:03 pm
Boys at many UK schools are allowed to wear skirts. In theory. They allow them that option so that they can give girls a choice, but they know perfectly well it's not a genuine choice for boys because it would be a major taboo if any did and they would be ridiculed and bullied.

They call it "equality".
What's your point here?
Stu
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Re: Dress

Post by Stu »

MrSoapsud wrote:
Fri Jan 29, 2021 9:04 am
What's your point here?
My point is that inequality is urgently addressed when females are the victims, but generally overlooked or considered normal when males are the victims.
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Freedomforall
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Re: Dress

Post by Freedomforall »

Stu wrote:
Fri Jan 29, 2021 9:13 am
MrSoapsud wrote:
Fri Jan 29, 2021 9:04 am
What's your point here?
My point is that inequality is urgently addressed when females are the victims, but generally overlooked or considered normal when males are the victims.
That feels to be very true to me as well!
moonshadow
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Re: Dress

Post by moonshadow »

You're going to get bullied in school or you're not. The skirt has nothing to do with it.

If you're one of the alphas you can wear whatever you want.

I got bullied in school and I never wore a skirt. Had I have worn a skirt, I still would have gotten bullied... what's the difference?
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Re: Dress

Post by moonshadow »

A follow up thought,

I'm not too sure that a skirt wearing boy would be to big of a deal anymore.

It seems when some lone ranger skirt wearing kid does face an injustice at school with regards to his clothing, the majority of the student body seems to support him, to the point where it can make local news.

Case in point, when Amber was in high school, there were some outright flamers attending. For the most part, those kids were adored by the student body and quite popular!

I think it's all about attitude. If the kid can "own himself" he can probably pull off just about anything.
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Re: Dress

Post by STEVIE »

Hi Moon
I'd echo your thoughts too.
I got it at school because I wore glasses, Think Buddy Holly and the damn things were not considered cool.
The fashionable ones were in the Rayban Aviator mould which my family budget did not stretch to.
The simple fact is that kids are absolutely merciless in a pack and will pounce on any perceived weakness.
As for a skirt, that would have got me crucified and I am not absolutely certain how much different it would be nowadays,
At a very local level, I actually think that it would depend on the neighbourhood that the school was located in.
I'd also concur that it would depend on the kid's own social status among his peers.
They don't call it the "Blackboard Jungle" for nothing. Tooth and claw, it really is the survival of the fittest.
Steve.
Stu
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Re: Dress

Post by Stu »

Moon - I think if a child does anything that makes them stand out as being different, they are way more likely to be bullied. In the case of a boy who does anything that could call his masculinity into question, he's going to be a particular target.

You think a boy wearing a skirt to school wouldn't be a big deal any more? I would like to think you were right, but I don't think we have reached that point in most schools. If we had, far more boys would be wearing skirts and, at the moment, it is virtually none! I would happily bet that I could attend three large UK schools at random and wager a month's pay that not a single non-trans boy on any given day had turned up in either a skirt or a dress - and my money would be safe.

I would love it if you could show me I am mistaken, but I suspect you can't. Unfortunately.
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Re: Dress

Post by Ralph »

Stu wrote:
Sat Jan 30, 2021 3:42 pm
Moon - I think if a child does anything that makes them stand out as being different, they are way more likely to be bullied.
OK, two things about that excellent quote.

1. About 20 years ago, when I first explained to my kids why my clothes looked different from what they may have seen other dads wearing, I gave them a speech about being different. The gist of it was, there is a cost which increases the more you veer away from what "society" considers normal. I encourage you to be yourself, and society's normalcy be damned! If you're just a bit quirky, people will think it's charming and maybe even like you more for standing out. If you're a lot quirky in a way that calls attention to yourself, you become a bully magnet. If you're so far off the beam that some people (bigots) think there should be laws against what you do, you might find your social life limited to very close friends and family who will support you no matter what; you're likely to be openly mocked by strangers in a public setting. And beyond that... if your behavior is so nonstandard as to cause people to stop and stare, you run the very real risk of physical assault up to and including the point of death. There won't be any such thing as "very close friends", and even family might distance themselves from you. So you have to ask yourself: What part of your personality is so integral to you that you're willing to pay the cost, however steep, to assert it? What part of your personality is so important to you that you're willing to practise it at least in secret, but keep it hidden so you don't get rejected? Only you can decide that for yourself, and you have my support no matter what the answer is. Bear in mind, I am myself still so afraid of physical repercussions that I only dress the way I want in the privacy of my own home with only my long-suffering wife as judge, so I could neither demand they fly their freak flag nor demand that they straighten up and fit in.

2. Just this week a friend recommended the cinema adaptation of Roald Dahl's "Fantastic Mr. Fox". I watched it, and quickly saw why my friend recommended it: The son of the title character is... a bit off. Weaker than his peers, given to flights of fancy and odd choices in costume, and hinted at being a bit effeminate. Sound familiar? My heart went out to the lad! Whenever his parents supported him for being "different", they made strange little gestures like they were putting the word in air quotes, as though it were a handicap they must adapt a stiff upper lip and endure.

Just some random thoughts from someone who was "different" enough to be bullied frequently, even without the nonstandard clothing choices being public knowledge.
Ralph!
STEVIE
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Re: Dress

Post by STEVIE »

Hi Ralph
Thanks for sharing that and I am sure that very many cafe patrons recognise similar experiences.
As adults, like yourself some of us are still suffering the hangover to a greater or lesser degree.
I think that speaks volumes about the impact that it had on us as children.
I would certainly congratulate you and your wife for your mutual understanding.
Perhaps, at some future point you will feel enabled to emerge into the sunshine.
Steve.
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crfriend
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Re: Dress

Post by crfriend »

Thanks, Ralph. That had much resonance.

To Steve's point, few places can be so overtly cruel as schoolyards, and I'm sure a lot of that lingers on well into adulthood. Why the adults who endured such as youths don't solve the problem is beyond me, unless it's the bully type who becomes teachers and administrators.

Fortunately, in maturity, it's possible to be a bit "off-centre" and still be accepted and liked.
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Sinned
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Re: Dress

Post by Sinned »

I was lucky in that I was never bullied at school. I was part of a small group who stuck up for each other but we didn't bully either. So I can't really resonate with what you are saying. The immediate area that I lived in was very working class ( where men were men and worked with heavy steel ) and some families had lived in the area for over 100 years. Everyone pretty much knew everyone else. Adults socialised together and I think that if there had been any bullying then words among the adults would have stopped it. I had also lost my sight in my right eye by Grammar School stage so became a "protected" person.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
Spirou003
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Re: Dress

Post by Spirou003 »

Luckily I was not the only one to be bullied at school (and without any friend of course, which increased the bullyiing etc.). It gave me the opportunity to approach them with the idea of doing a group of friends so that we could protect each other outside of the classes (and inside the classes, teachers did it) and live wonderful years at school Ahem. I guess it would have failed if I have done it by wearing a skirt.
I'm learning english, thus when there is any mistake or weird word/sentence, feel free to tell me it!
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