It's generally considered the domain of girls, but a lot of us freestylers must feel it too.
I never really understood it before. "Pretty" seemed to be something one would want to be in the eyes of others, and seemed to require a coherence, at least, with one's physical makeup. Men can be called "beautiful" but rarely are they called "pretty". Women can be called pretty just because of their faces, regardless of what they are wearing.
I now know that feeling pretty is something I am capable of, regardless of whether I would be judged so by the eyes of another. I get in the elevator and catch my legs and feet in the mirror and "ooh pretty" is what pops in my mind, if I'm wearing heels. If the rest of my outfit is pretty, even more so.
I have had a woman (also in the elevator) respond "ooh, pretty" to me when I wasn't even trying to be. It was just the combination of colours she responded to: plain pants and skirt with no pattern.
Now that I am conscious of the ways I can feel pretty, I find myself wanting the feeling more. I would want it even if no other eyes would see it, but I know others have eyes too, and hope the cognitive dissonance of a man wearing something pretty doesn't spoil it for them.
The skirt was definitely the gateway for me. Was it for you? I did like pretty things before, like a nice paisley tie, or a pastel shirt, but the sensation of immersion that I can only call "being" pretty is relatively new and not something I expected or aimed for when I first donned a skirt.
Its hard to get used to something different, if you grew up with certain conventions.
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The first time I was told that someone who had seen me in church opined that I was "beautiful!" it brought me up short. But I realized that's a very high compliment and that our language is kind of limited so "lovely, beautiful, pretty;" why not?
By all means revel in it!
As I've said, we love to wear skirts as an expression of our augmented masculinity; why not enjoy all of the joy that comes with it?
Social norms aren't changed by Congress or Parliament; they're changed by a sufficient number of people ignoring the existing ones and publicly practicing new ones.
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I'm with Dave on this one. Don't be apprehensive in it -- revel in it. You've got something the rest of western males (human ones, that is) don't.Pdxfashionpioneer wrote:Run with it Daryl!
... or, likely, in upstate Vermont or New Hampshire.Daryl wrote:Only available in Canada, I'm afraid. Special maple syrup derivative.
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now I just have to work on being witty and bright
I think I associate the word 'pretty' with feminine things nowadays, yet last century a woman was 'handsome' and a guy was 'pretty'. Nowadays a guy is 'handsome' amd a woman is 'pretty'. I think its the sccoiation of the language that needs to be considered - mind the end point is still the same.
I do feel more well dressed, more confident in a dress/skirt & high heels than any other ensemble.
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I'm not sure if pretty is the operative word I am going for. Perhaps it's potato potato semantics.
I personally think I would cringe if called pretty.
I don't consider myself handsome so no amount of skirting would I consider myself pretty.
Now cute I can go for. Not Little girl with pigtails cute. But cute, or fun I shop for cute skirts or fun skirts.
I doubt I am cute in a skirt so I guess I will go for fun. I like fun outfits. If you call me cute I'll accept that too.
I prefer to feel asexual. I don't want to dress in a way that would attract sexual advances from men or women.
As a child of about 7 or 8 I quickly became envious of girls clothing. The cute and different outfits, bright colors, bows on the backs of their dresses. Brightly colored underwear. I would have loved to dress like a girl if my mom would have let me.
Nope, dull, clothing for me a boy.
Once I was a teen and could drive I slowly started to experiment with the cute and fun clothing that I had been drawn to as a child .
So I ll do some bright colors, prints, but I won't do floral prints or skimpy, revealing skirts. Cute but not pretty, sexy or attractive. I hope I am making sense.
Tonight at a large festival for labor day I got two compliment/comments on my across the asile short all's, both compliments were from men. One asked me what brand my short all's were, he wanted some but can't find any, I told him the brand. Boy will he will be shocked and disappointed tonight when he Google's the brand to find out they were a women's clothing brand that is no longer in business. And the gentleman just said he really liked my outfit.
So it was neat getting some comments for standing outside the box just enough to get noticed.
Avoid the middle man, wear a kilt or skirt.
I especially liked your coining "augmented masculinity" David. "Expanded" would work too.
Jeff, "lighter, freer and happier" I definitely relate to, but I don't particularly associate it with genderedness like "feminine" though I am certainly aware that others do. "Lighter, freer and happier" were not even things I thought clothing could make me feel, before this excursion in my life.
Mishawakaskirt, I definitely relate to having felt envious of girls and women for what they could wear. I can also relate to thinking of something as "cute" as long as that something is not me.
Oldsalt, yeah, I think I look better in skirts too. A well-fitting man's suit comes close, too, though.
I've used "pretty" in self-reference ironically and/or humourously before. It might have been a boxer (like maybe Muhammed Ali) who I first heard do that. Even such unserious use is still inching a little bit in the direction of being able to "own" it personally. I admit that I like prettiness and am more than a little tired of playing the game where men disavow it except to value it in people they want to produce children with. We didn't always have to do that.
I think I have detected the subtle beginnings of a pass from men twice since my styles have become more feminine/pretty. It's not news that some men actually find "feminised" men sexually interesting, but since I am not "looking" I did nothing to follow into their leads, and nothing came of them. It doesn't bother me at all. It just is.
I have no idea what it is like to feel like a man or a woman, or to feel that I look good or not to others, but the sense of being immersed in "pretty" is not the same as telling myself that I "am" pretty. Language just comes up short. The closest compromise, I think, is to say that I "feel pretty" rather than that I "look pretty". Now I'm just rehashing my first post, I think, so I'll stop. Thanks again for all your perspectives.
"Sexy" isn't what I'm after, and I've never been accused of such. I'm not trying to be a bombshell hottie, which would be a futile endeavor at any rate.
But pretty? Yes... always.
Incidentally I'm also not bashful about calling something else pretty, or holding a dress or skirt against me in the clothing store and fawning over it like ladies tend to do.
We all have the tendency to make simple things difficult, but the spirit that abides within us achieves its own ends by making all difficult things simple.
-Manly Palmer Hall