Feeling Pretty

Discussion of fashion elements and looks that are traditionally considered somewhat "femme" but are presented in a masculine context. This is NOT about transvestism or crossdressing.
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Daryl
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Feeling Pretty

Post by Daryl » Tue Aug 27, 2019 8:08 am

Feeling freedom, feeling the air, feeling the fabric, feeling nervous, feeling bold — all these seem to be discussed pretty easily by (or about) men in skirts, but what about feeling pretty?

It's generally considered the domain of girls, but a lot of us freestylers must feel it too.

I never really understood it before. "Pretty" seemed to be something one would want to be in the eyes of others, and seemed to require a coherence, at least, with one's physical makeup. Men can be called "beautiful" but rarely are they called "pretty". Women can be called pretty just because of their faces, regardless of what they are wearing.

I now know that feeling pretty is something I am capable of, regardless of whether I would be judged so by the eyes of another. I get in the elevator and catch my legs and feet in the mirror and "ooh pretty" is what pops in my mind, if I'm wearing heels. If the rest of my outfit is pretty, even more so.

I have had a woman (also in the elevator) respond "ooh, pretty" to me when I wasn't even trying to be. It was just the combination of colours she responded to: plain pants and skirt with no pattern.

Now that I am conscious of the ways I can feel pretty, I find myself wanting the feeling more. I would want it even if no other eyes would see it, but I know others have eyes too, and hope the cognitive dissonance of a man wearing something pretty doesn't spoil it for them.

The skirt was definitely the gateway for me. Was it for you? I did like pretty things before, like a nice paisley tie, or a pastel shirt, but the sensation of immersion that I can only call "being" pretty is relatively new and not something I expected or aimed for when I first donned a skirt.
Daryl...

Grok
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Re: Feeling Pretty

Post by Grok » Tue Aug 27, 2019 3:19 pm

I feel cognitive dissonance with this topic. Perhaps because I grew up with male clothing that was-in terms of appearance-dull at best.

Its hard to get used to something different, if you grew up with certain conventions.

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Re: Feeling Pretty

Post by beachlion » Tue Aug 27, 2019 3:39 pm

My first skirts were denim because I wanted that masculine touch. When wearing skirts became more normal for me, I went to khaki and black fabric. Still rather masculine. Now I'm widening my scope with other fabrics and styles. The term "pretty" is not something I will connect to my appearance. I aim for stylish in a very simple way. I don't think I will go any further than that.
All progress takes place outside the comfort zone - M J Bobak

Grok
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Re: Feeling Pretty

Post by Grok » Tue Aug 27, 2019 4:36 pm

It is easier for me to think in terms of style than in thinking in terms of "pretty".

Though with skirts we have to figure out style as we go along. :)

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Sinned
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Re: Feeling Pretty

Post by Sinned » Tue Aug 27, 2019 7:57 pm

Daryl, can I have some of the tablets You're on? :D
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.

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Daryl
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Re: Feeling Pretty

Post by Daryl » Thu Aug 29, 2019 6:02 am

Sinned wrote:Daryl, can I have some of the tablets You're on? :D
Only available in Canada, I'm afraid. Special maple syrup derivative.
Daryl...

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Pdxfashionpioneer
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Re: Feeling Pretty

Post by Pdxfashionpioneer » Thu Aug 29, 2019 6:06 am

Run with it Daryl!

The first time I was told that someone who had seen me in church opined that I was "beautiful!" it brought me up short. But I realized that's a very high compliment and that our language is kind of limited so "lovely, beautiful, pretty;" why not?

By all means revel in it!

As I've said, we love to wear skirts as an expression of our augmented masculinity; why not enjoy all of the joy that comes with it?
David, the PDX Fashion Pioneer

Social norms aren't changed by Congress or Parliament; they're changed by a sufficient number of people ignoring the existing ones and publicly practicing new ones.

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Re: Feeling Pretty

Post by crfriend » Thu Aug 29, 2019 9:12 am

Pdxfashionpioneer wrote:Run with it Daryl!
I'm with Dave on this one. Don't be apprehensive in it -- revel in it. You've got something the rest of western males (human ones, that is) don't.
Daryl wrote:Only available in Canada, I'm afraid. Special maple syrup derivative.
... or, likely, in upstate Vermont or New Hampshire.
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!

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oldsalt1
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Re: Feeling Pretty

Post by oldsalt1 » Thu Aug 29, 2019 10:37 am

I wouldn't call it looking pretty Maybe it is because I am more attentive with what I am wearing, but I think I look better in a skirt.

now I just have to work on being witty and bright

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JeffB1959
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Re: Feeling Pretty

Post by JeffB1959 » Thu Aug 29, 2019 1:23 pm

I’ve thought about this, and yeah, I most certainly DO feel pretty when I’m wearing a skirt or dress. I know I feel lighter, freer and happier, and I smile more as well. To me, I see this as being and feeling feminine when I’m wearing the clothes I love, and I appreciate it greatly.
I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman.

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Re: Feeling Pretty

Post by nzfreestyler » Sat Aug 31, 2019 1:06 am

I don't know about looking pretty but I do feel kind of pretty in a nice dress or a skirt. I definitely feel more well put together, and therefore prettier I suppose, especially with a high heel too - but thats just me. I do feel under dressed (not to mention short) if I am wearing a low heel, which is why I spend almost all of my time in higher heels.

I think I associate the word 'pretty' with feminine things nowadays, yet last century a woman was 'handsome' and a guy was 'pretty'. Nowadays a guy is 'handsome' amd a woman is 'pretty'. I think its the sccoiation of the language that needs to be considered - mind the end point is still the same.

I do feel more well dressed, more confident in a dress/skirt & high heels than any other ensemble.

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Re: Feeling Pretty

Post by mishawakaskirt » Mon Sep 02, 2019 6:01 am

Ok I'll bite on this one.

I'm not sure if pretty is the operative word I am going for. Perhaps it's potato potato semantics.
I personally think I would cringe if called pretty.
I don't consider myself handsome so no amount of skirting would I consider myself pretty.

Now cute I can go for. Not Little girl with pigtails cute. But cute, or fun I shop for cute skirts or fun skirts.

I doubt I am cute in a skirt so I guess I will go for fun. I like fun outfits. If you call me cute I'll accept that too.

I prefer to feel asexual. I don't want to dress in a way that would attract sexual advances from men or women.

As a child of about 7 or 8 I quickly became envious of girls clothing. The cute and different outfits, bright colors, bows on the backs of their dresses. Brightly colored underwear. I would have loved to dress like a girl if my mom would have let me.
Nope, dull, clothing for me a boy.

Once I was a teen and could drive I slowly started to experiment with the cute and fun clothing that I had been drawn to as a child .
So I ll do some bright colors, prints, but I won't do floral prints or skimpy, revealing skirts. Cute but not pretty, sexy or attractive. I hope I am making sense.


Tonight at a large festival for labor day I got two compliment/comments on my across the asile short all's, both compliments were from men. One asked me what brand my short all's were, he wanted some but can't find any, I told him the brand. Boy will he will be shocked and disappointed tonight when he Google's the brand to find out they were a women's clothing brand that is no longer in business. And the gentleman just said he really liked my outfit.

So it was neat getting some comments for standing outside the box just enough to get noticed.
Mishawakaskirt @2wayskirt on Twitter

Avoid the middle man, wear a kilt or skirt.

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Daryl
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Re: Feeling Pretty

Post by Daryl » Mon Sep 02, 2019 6:44 am

Thanks for the responses, folks. I deliberately used the word "pretty" because I know it touches on some reactions in us.

I especially liked your coining "augmented masculinity" David. "Expanded" would work too.

Jeff, "lighter, freer and happier" I definitely relate to, but I don't particularly associate it with genderedness like "feminine" though I am certainly aware that others do. "Lighter, freer and happier" were not even things I thought clothing could make me feel, before this excursion in my life.

Mishawakaskirt, I definitely relate to having felt envious of girls and women for what they could wear. I can also relate to thinking of something as "cute" as long as that something is not me. :)

Oldsalt, yeah, I think I look better in skirts too. A well-fitting man's suit comes close, too, though.

I've used "pretty" in self-reference ironically and/or humourously before. It might have been a boxer (like maybe Muhammed Ali) who I first heard do that. Even such unserious use is still inching a little bit in the direction of being able to "own" it personally. I admit that I like prettiness and am more than a little tired of playing the game where men disavow it except to value it in people they want to produce children with. We didn't always have to do that.

I think I have detected the subtle beginnings of a pass from men twice since my styles have become more feminine/pretty. It's not news that some men actually find "feminised" men sexually interesting, but since I am not "looking" I did nothing to follow into their leads, and nothing came of them. It doesn't bother me at all. It just is.

I have no idea what it is like to feel like a man or a woman, or to feel that I look good or not to others, but the sense of being immersed in "pretty" is not the same as telling myself that I "am" pretty. Language just comes up short. The closest compromise, I think, is to say that I "feel pretty" rather than that I "look pretty". Now I'm just rehashing my first post, I think, so I'll stop. Thanks again for all your perspectives.
Daryl...

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JeffB1959
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Re: Feeling Pretty

Post by JeffB1959 » Mon Sep 02, 2019 8:38 am

I guess that the term "pretty" means different things to different people here. I've said that I look much nicer in women's clothes than I do in men's clothes, I certainly feel pretty in light, gauzy skirts and spaghetti strapped dresses, and that's a feeling I absolutely love.
I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman.

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Re: Feeling Pretty

Post by moonshadow » Mon Sep 02, 2019 11:02 pm

I feel pretty when I wear certain clothes. The word doesn't bother me. I recall once an older woman walked by me, smiled and said I looked very pretty. I was honestly flattered.

"Sexy" isn't what I'm after, and I've never been accused of such. I'm not trying to be a bombshell hottie, which would be a futile endeavor at any rate.

But pretty? Yes... always.

Incidentally I'm also not bashful about calling something else pretty, or holding a dress or skirt against me in the clothing store and fawning over it like ladies tend to do.
-Moon Shadow

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