Femme Men and Conditioned Behaviour

Discussion of fashion elements and looks that are traditionally considered somewhat "femme" but are presented in a masculine context. This is NOT about transvestism or crossdressing.
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Daryl
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Re: Femme Men and Conditioned Behaviour

Post by Daryl »

Caultron wrote:The closest I ever came was a guy in the restroom asking if I was in the right one.

"Yes, and I'm about to prove it," I replied, and then I walked up to the urinal and did.
Haven't had that yet but I confess the ladies and gents icons are starting to be a lot less obvious to me. Sometimes I have to actually think about it.
Daryl...
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JohnH
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Re: Femme Men and Conditioned Behaviour

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Darryl wrote:I'd have to say the incidents I remember of being "ma'amed" in public were mostly where the salesperson did not initially see me, just heard me. OTOH, quite some time back I started wearing mustaches, goatees and beards to "age" the 'baby-face'...and I tended to favor a 'Beatle's' type of haircut for a few decades until hereditary pattern baldness encroached too deeply. So perhaps the question might be....how androgynous do you/did you look? He asked, stirring the pot..... :mrgreen:
I have the reverse situation. If people see me with my long hair and boom-booms they ma'am me. After they hear me talk with my bass voice, the response is, "Oh sorry Sir". :D

John
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Sinned
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Re: Femme Men and Conditioned Behaviour

Post by Sinned »

For us the ladies and gents icons should be reversed. After all we wear the skirts and the ladies wear the trousers!

Out in the wide world I have never been mistaken for a woman even when I had a ponytail. It's only MOH that sees woman when I wear a skirt.
I believe in offering every assistance short of actual help but then mainly just want to be left to be myself in all my difference and uniqueness.
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JohnH
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Re: Femme Men and Conditioned Behaviour

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My mother and sister-in-law came to visit my wife and me. I wore a dress and all the ladies wore pants. That is logical - they do not have boy bits where the cloth wedge jams against them creating discomfort.

John
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Re: Femme Men and Conditioned Behaviour

Post by renesm1 »

JohnH wrote:My mother and sister-in-law came to visit my wife and me. I wore a dress and all the ladies wore pants. That is logical - they do not have boy bits where the cloth wedge jams against them creating discomfort.

John
Indeed that's the more logical style of dress. If only everyone else knew that!!!
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Pdxfashionpioneer
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Re: Femme Men and Conditioned Behaviour

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Only one person has called me ma'am, and that was only because I was in a stall in the Men's Room in Target and all he could see were my heels and lower calves. I replied to him in the deepest voice I could summon and popped out of my stall just as he was going past on the way to his stall. He goes down on record as one of the few men, whom I didn't know, who complimented me on my appearance.

Otherwise, everyone has invariably gotten it right that I'm a "sir," as in "Thank you, sir (for spending money with us today)."

Nearly everyone treats me better than when I'm in pants. I've been told I'm gentler in a skirt than in pants so it comes back to me. I try to apply that life lesson no matter how I'm dressed.

When we have setting up or taking down to do at church, I pitch right in, though not with the same gusto as I would in slacks and men's shoes, but that's just a practical concession to the fragility of womenswear.

Finally, as I've told a number of women at church, "I always try to be a gentleman, even when I'm in a dress," so they will gracefully concede the door holding and toting duties to me. So I guess there is some tendency to afford me the courtesies that are generally extended to women because I'm in a skirted outfit.

The one I enjoy the most are the compliments (shocker). Women compliment one another on their outfits all the time. Men, not so much. But then again if you've seen one pair of navy slacks, you've nearly seen the whole array.
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Daryl
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Re: Femme Men and Conditioned Behaviour

Post by Daryl »

Pdxfashionpioneer wrote:...if you've seen one pair of navy slacks, you've nearly seen the whole array.
Hey now, you can always wear a different colour shirt each month to show a different side of your versatility.
Daryl...
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denimini
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Re: Femme Men and Conditioned Behaviour

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JohnH wrote:My mother and sister-in-law came to visit my wife and me. I wore a dress and all the ladies wore pants. That is logical - they do not have boy bits where the cloth wedge jams against them creating discomfort.

John
That is logical .... and from a designers sense it is form follows function.
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Re: Femme Men and Conditioned Behaviour

Post by mishawakaskirt »

Quick funny story.
Reguarding being called mam by someone.
Me and my wife about a year ago had gone to a local chain Mexican restraunt.
The hostss had just seated us, then within a minute our waitress came to our table where this is heard "Ladies my may I take your drink order?" :shock: I was probably as shocked as the waitress when we made eye contact. Deer in the headlights moment for both of us. :oops: waitress says
" I'm sorry, I thought the hostess just said she had seated two ladies in this section"
We just shrugged it off, it was a funny moment, yet momentarily terrifying, being called a lady. I was not wearing anything fem and have a full beard, so she
had clearly just not looked before addressing us. Well to her defence I was wearing jeans and someone's Skirt cafe signature comes to mind. :lol: maby that caused the confusion. (Only if the waitress knew she was sorta right in a tiny, tiny way) :wink:
This super man has skirt superpowers.
Mishawakaskirt

If I had to do it all over again, I shoud have said thankyou, that's the best complement I have gotten all month. :lol:
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Avoid the middle man, wear a kilt or skirt.
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Daryl
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Re: Femme Men and Conditioned Behaviour

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mishawakaskirt wrote: ...our waitress came to our table where this is heard "Ladies my may I take your drink order?"
...I was not wearing anything fem and have a full beard
...I was wearing jeans
This super man has skirt superpowers.
That's some Jedi sh*t right there. Now try it in reverse. Go full femme including fake boobs high voice and all and see if you can get your server to call you "sir". :mrgreen:
Daryl...
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Re: Femme Men and Conditioned Behaviour

Post by Kilted_John »

Only time that happened to me was back in 1990, when I was 14 years old. Didn't even have long hair at the time. 12 years before I'd ever worn a skirt publicly, and a year before I secretly tried one on late at night.

-J
Skirted since 2/2002, kilted 8/2002-8/2011, and dressed since 9/2013...
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Re: Femme Men and Conditioned Behaviour

Post by moonshadow »

I got ma'amed about three times while in Nashville. I know I don't "pass" so I chalked it up to the other person (calling me ma'am) assuming I'm transitioning and trying to be polite and respectful. Though I don't identify as a woman, as long as no offense was intended than I am not offended....

Though it was a.... different feeling.

I know we often joke at the house (and even a little at work believe it or not) about me being a woman! :lol:

It's all in good fun... :D
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Daryl
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Re: Femme Men and Conditioned Behaviour

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moonshadow wrote:I got ma'amed about three times while in Nashville. I know I don't "pass" so I chalked it up to the other person (calling me ma'am) assuming I'm transitioning and trying to be polite and respectful. Though I don't identify as a woman, as long as no offense was intended than I am not offended....

Though it was a.... different feeling.

I know we often joke at the house (and even a little at work believe it or not) about me being a woman! :lol:

It's all in good fun... :D
That's the right attitude, I say.

When those close to you can rib you over it, it means they accept your uniqueness. It's easy enough to tell when they don't mean it that way.

More women started wearing skirts in my workplace after I did. That could have been coincidence but I still reverse the ribbing and refer to what we have in common as a kind of solidarity from time to time. For example, I might raise my fist and say "recognise". It's always taken as intended.
Daryl...
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Pdxfashionpioneer
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Re: Femme Men and Conditioned Behaviour

Post by Pdxfashionpioneer »

Kudos to Moonshadow & Daryl.
David, the PDX Fashion Pioneer

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Re: Femme Men and Conditioned Behaviour

Post by jmiller842 »

A little off topic but similar in vein. Recently I bought a new black skirt from Winner's in Canada (kinda like TJ Maxx in the US). When I presented the skirt to the woman at the checkout, she says "Oh, you'll look so pretty in this skirt." To which I replied "Thank you". Then as she handed me my change, I said "I know you were joking but the skirt really is for me." She chuckled and smiled as I left. Not sure if she believed me. But it was a nice exchange.
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