What to wear

[squeak24]

OK, I have introduced myself elsewhere. But I have been wearing "womens" clothes since I was about two. At the time I was told it was wrong by my parents. But I still did it, just in secret.

All my family, apart from my brother know that I prefer these clothes, and I have now started telling people at work and friends. The next big hurdle is telling a couple of close friends. So far I have worn "womens" jumpers and pants about, but now I want to go to the next level and start wearing Skirts and Dresses.

Ok, I was at a meeting with one of my colleagues who knows about this part of my life. She has suggested going out for dinner one afternoon whilst I am wearing a skirt. Bit the question is, what type. I like A-line skirts, even flowery ones. I want something initially that doesn't stick out to much. I was thinking of a smart black pleated skirt, similar design to a kilt, but not a kilt. But I have no idea where to buy anything like that from. I am in the UK. Does anyone have any ideas?

[STEVIE]

Hi Squeaky,
Welcome to the cafe.
Pleated is good as a first choice! M&S, John Lewis or Next etc are good places to shop.
Trust me, they don't really care if it's for you or Josephine Bloggs as long as your money is the right colour, that is.
Steve.

[Kilted_John]

H&M, M&S, eBay, charity shops, etc, should have what you're looking for.

I would probably, for your first time, try to make it look as much like a kilt outfit as you can. So, instead of tights/ph, wear a pair of long socks, etc... They don't have to be thick - I frequently wear trouser socks (what you guys call pop socks, IIRC) with my skirts. I usually put some ankle socks on that are hidden by my hiking boots, if I'm wearing those with the outfit. That way, my feet don't get sore, and I'm unlikely to have runs appear from internal seams of the boots. Footwear, maybe some docs or other normal "guy" style shoes. But, other than that, you can pretty much have free reign. Another option, skirt-wise is the skater skirt. Quite full with its box pleats... It's also usually just above-knee, so looks kiltish without having the flat front and wrap design of an actual kilt. Most people here in the Pacific Northwest of the United States think I'm wearing a kilt, even when I'm wearing the outfit depicted in my avatar. I guess they assume that a guy, with a knee-length or shorter skirt, bare knees, and socks just under said joints, must be wearing a kilt.

-J

[DonaldG]

Hi squeak24, I would suggest Charity shops - I get most of my skirts there at about 5 pounds or less. But essential to take a measure tape to check the waist and length.

[Caultron]

I started out with utility kilts and have pretty much stayed there. I like other kinds of skirts but I'm not ready for the man-bag/purse.

For shoes I wear ordinary men's shoes, men's sandals, hiking boots (when hiking), and most recently women's lace-up oxfords with a 2" heel.

With men's shoes I normally wear below-the-ankle men's socks, knee socks, or leggings over same-color normal men's socks.

With sandals I wear no socks.

With hiking boots I either wear hiking socks (possibly with leggings) or knee socks.

With women's lace-up oxfords I wear opaque tights and so-called "no show" socks (also called "footsies").

I don't find mid-calf socks attractive and never wear them with a kilt or skirt, except for hiking, where practicality rules.

But none of this may be right for you. Wear whatever is most comfortable for you and whatever makes you the most confident. Because the skirt is going to shock and surprise them no matter what, but your confidence is what'll get you through. People will be much more likely to accept you if you're confident and self-assured than if you're withdrawn and nervous. Wear what you like and if they don't like it, it's their problem, not yours. You're an adult. You get to pick out your own clothes.

But if still in doubt, try something in a low-key solid knee-length rather than the tutu or the evening gown.

[r.m.anderson]

Making it as close to a kilt as possible makes it a great deal more passable.
Keep the colors mundane black blue grey - NO flowery prints or pastels.
Exception would be a tartan pattern just like a kilt.
Simple polo shirt or dress shirt for the top do the frilly lace applique later -
watch out women's tops are shorter than men's no shirt tail to tuck in -
also beware the button placket closing women's button opposite of men's -
sleeve length could be a cap sleeve about 3-4 inched down from arm seam
or elbow length not common for men's shirts which are about half-way in
between the elbow and arm/shoulder seam.
Skirt length - a kilt is commonly about 24 inches (measurement from belly
button to knee when kneeling) your real height determines the proportion
that works best for you. Knee length is a great starting point and thigh length
is apt to convey the wrong message till folks know you better (think mini-skirt)!
An "A" frame skirt is apt to project a 'Girlish' image and a Pencil skirt is the
other end of the spectrum a mature business like mode. Ankle length skirts
are fine but learn how to walk and negotiate stairs and obstacles if you do.
The selection of footwear will have a lot to do with the skirted presentation.
Flats loafers work fine - high heels and wingtips leave much to be desired as
well as Mary Jane shoes - one mixed up mess needing help in getting dressed !
And then sox and hosiery if any is to be worn at all.

I would try for a kilt for the first time exposure in public - a kilted SKIRT with
pleats in the front instead of an apron could pass muster and as others here
have commented in the past this type of pleated skirt is often mistaken for
a kilt.

There is so much to learn in how to present oneself that it can't be done in
one event - BUT the real issue is getting sufficiently motivated to just do it !*!

[denimini]

Hi squeak24, I would suggest Charity shops - I get most of my skirts there at about 5 pounds or less. But essential to take a measure tape to check the waist and length.

Yes, charity shops are great - quite a diverse range and not just what is currently in fashion as in normal shops. On a recent trip they were clearing out summer stock at $5 a bag and I found that one could fit 10 minis in a bag - I was prepared to pay for 2 bags as it is all for a good cause but the woman said " Oh, if we fold them well they will all fit in". A good chance to try different styles.

[squeak24]

thanks for all the responses, I already own a number of skirts/dresses, I think I probably have more skirts than what I have trousers. But they are all very girly. I do have a red pleated one which is ankle length. I am just thinking about going out in public now, I would like to progress to flowery and pastel skirts, just want to get the confidence first to actually go out doors in a none safe environment.

I have just seen this http://www.marksandspencer.com/flared-a ... /p22378892 would it work?

I always tend to wear footsies as a matter of course, I am not a huge fan of socks.

My body type is stereotypically male. I have a few extra kilos (which I am trying to get rid off).

Although I have never worn make up before, I am starting to experiment. My friend from work has given me some tips as to how not to make it to obvious.

[Kilty]

OP, try a knee-length denim pencil skirt. Tons of them on eBay

[Sinned]

r.m.a, I disagree with you about A-line and pencil skirts - I think that pencil skirts look more feminine. They also force you to take a shorter stride and walk from the knee as opposed to the hip.

[dillon]

I think color, pattern, and texture have more to do with the "manliness" than whether A-line or pencil. Both work fine. Variable hems, eg short in front, long in back, or short on one side and long on the other, might be questionable, though if someone wants to try that and is happy with the result, I keep an open mind.

[Caultron]

.. I have just seen this http://www.marksandspencer.com/flared-a ... /p22378892 would it work?...

Sure. It's probably good that it's low-key. But the best choice is whatever you can be most confident wearing.

[squeak24]

pencil skirts are no good. I have never worn one, but if it is a case of using the knees to much I will struggle. I only have one leg, hence anything that restricts movement will be a problem.

I will wonder into M&S and see what they have, maybe even click and collect.

[Caultron]

...I only have one leg, hence anything that restricts movement will be a problem...

Hmmm, that may raise some additional concerns about length.

If you wear a prosthesis, I suppose you don't want your hem getting stuck in it (if such a thing is possible). Also, you may have to think about how much of the prosthesis will show, and whether it looks natural or not.

If you don't wear a prosthesis, then you have to decide how much of your missing leg will show (assuming it's not missing from the hip). Some people seem to like keeping the end hidden, some wear a sock or something over it, and some don't care.

If you sometimes wear shorts, I suppose you'd be most comfortable with skirts the same length. And if not, you might prefer an ankle-length skirt. But as always, dress in whatever makes you comfortable and confident.

There may also be some issues getting both sides to hang the same (assuming you care about that). I suppose a pencil or any other fitted skirt would be more difficult in that regard.

(pardon if any of this is naive)

[squeak24]

It's not a conventional prosthesis, it is implanted so none of the normal problems you get with the suction.

I tend to wear shorts a lot, very rarely do I wear long trousers, even in the mid of winter so that shouldn't be a problem