STEVIE wrote:I was a very definite cross dresser, that's been posted elsewhere. I didn't have any other point of reference for wearing skirts other than appearing "en femme".
Interestingly, I knew of "orthodox crossdressing" but the practice of such never entered my mind when I first contemplated donning a skirt and ultimately wearing them in public. I suppose I was lucky enough to make the jump in one shot and that was that.
What's more in the eyes of the average "Joe", I still am, a crossdresser, that is. En femme, or not, there is always scrutiny and judgement going on.
I'm not sure on that. Based on my personal experience, I am entirely accepted by those around me including plenty of "working stiffs" and non-intellectuals. There are plenty of folks at a decidedly "working-class" bar I frequent who have never seen me in trousers and with whom I have cordial relationships with, based on understanding, respect, and capability -- and this in a rather "tough" town.
A guy to wear "female" attire is wrong, end of story.
I think this is down to how one does it more than anything else, and one's confidence in himself goes a very long way to defuse any potential problems. Knowing that he is not "wrong" -- although flaunting convention -- is key. Yes, I know that every time I throw on a skirt instead of trousers I'm poking a stick in society's eye. My view on this is that society ought to wear safety-glasses and lighten up a bit.
Timidity seems to be the norm -- a desire to not "rock the boat". It turns out that from observation, "the boat" has a very deep and very heavy keel and it's almost impossible to rock it to the point of capsize. Most of those around the bloke in a skirt may possibly not notice, or, even if they do won't cause a ruckus.
I think we see enough expressions of this in the cafe to justify that statement. Appearing as a guy in a skirt does not ease this it seems.
We do see it, and I find it sad. For the most part, if one comports himself with confidence and flair those around him will rally to it. If one skulks about in the shadows he's vastly more likely to receive grief. If you're in for a penny, then you're in for a pound; there is no half-way.
From my own experience, I probably found it easier going out in the femme disguise than I did "openly" skirted. That is, until I actually learned to savour and enjoy the experience.
That is an interesting observation indeed. It doesn't mirror mine, but I'd be very interested to hear from other folks on the matter. I might be an edge-case.