HOW MANY SKIRTS DO YOU OWN?

Discussion of fashion elements and looks that are traditionally considered somewhat "femme" but are presented in a masculine context. This is NOT about transvestism or crossdressing.
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crfriend
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Re: HOW MANY SKIRTS DO YOU OWN?

Post by crfriend »

Milfmog wrote:I think I need a JCB before I need a gardener and possibly an electrician before that. I still have one light that can only be turned on and off by fitting or removing the bulb and several switches that I have yet to discover what they are supposed to do.
"JCB"? You wouldn't happen to have any electrical receptacles that are dead, do you? The switches in question might control those. That's a fairly common trick in these parts. (Too, they might control outdoor lights you may not be aware of yet.)

On the number of skirts I own, I'd need to take an assay to determine the precise number, but I believe it's somewhere well in excess of 10. Getting dressed in the morning used to be easy as I had two pairs of trousers and a week's worth of shirts; now it's sometimes a fight to figure out what I want to wear, although I have yet to hit the point where I look at the bounty and decry, "but I haven't anything to wear!".
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Milfmog
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Re: HOW MANY SKIRTS DO YOU OWN?

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crfriend wrote:
Milfmog wrote:I think I need a JCB before I need a gardener and possibly an electrician before that. I still have one light that can only be turned on and off by fitting or removing the bulb and several switches that I have yet to discover what they are supposed to do.
"JCB"?
Sorry, that may not have crossed the pond. Think "big digging machine". Lots of rubbish to move around, several trees to cut down and some serious leveling before I worry about planting or pruning anything.
You wouldn't happen to have any electrical receptacles that are dead, do you? The switches in question might control those. That's a fairly common trick in these parts. (Too, they might control outdoor lights you may not be aware of yet.)
Yes, there are uplighters in the block paving but they do not appear to be connected to anything. I thought I had found the switch for those in the garage but that turned out to be for a flood light on the side of main house. The outside light I eventually found on the outside of the garage, once I'd cut away loads of ivy and replaced the bulb, proved to be switched from inside the house. There is still an unaccounted for switch in the kitchen and a wire that comes out of the house and is terminated in a choc-bloc wrapped in tape. I checked though and it does not appear to be switched by the kitchen switch. Give me time and I'll get it all worked out.

Have fun,


Ian.
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crfriend
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Re: HOW MANY SKIRTS DO YOU OWN?

Post by crfriend »

Milfmog wrote:
crfriend wrote:"JCB"?
Sorry, that may not have crossed the pond. Think "big digging machine".
You're right, it didn't make it. Maybe Dr. Kirbstone will find it the next time he's out in the Irish Sea. "Big digging machine", however did, and I also understand the term "digger" and occasionally use it here to confuse the natives.
Give me time and I'll get it all worked out.
Enjoy your 'lectrical labours. That you'll get it sorted eventually was never a large worry.

By the by, diggers are a lot of fun to operate. When we connected to the municipal sewers several years ago the installer let me run his for a little bit. Sapphire said I had an ear-to-ear grin on when doing so; I regarded it as more fun in one day than should be legal.
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Kirbstone
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Re: HOW MANY SKIRTS DO YOU OWN?

Post by Kirbstone »

Yer-average 'digger' in these here parts tends to be a JCB, the initials of its inventor, and is basically a tractor with two buckets operated by hydraulics, one arm at the back, usually with a narrow bucket on for digging trenches, but two big arms at the front with a big bulldozer blade between for levelling areas & shoving things around. They can drive to sites under their own steam along normal roads.

When we had a pool dug in our garden in 1977 in Hampshire they turned up with a thing called a hi-mac, a tracked affair brought on site on a big low-loader & with a long 8-meter arm with a bucket on the end. To my amazement they used this thing to dig the hole precisely within an inch of the required dimensions, the Big Boss explaining that accuracy saved money on backfilling materials &c.&c.

What they totally miscalculated was the force of the local water table and the delay caused by the long Whit weekend which followed their initial efforts. During three days of inactivity the vertical clay walls of the dug hole bulged inwards and collapsed down bending lots of their vertical reinforcing rods inwards, so they returned on the following Tuesday to a sorry mess indeed!....which was entirely their problem.

To dig our lake here in 2001 they also used a hi-mac, this time with a 10-meter arm and a very seriously large bucket on the end. They made a sloping ramp down into the hole and drove the thing down it, excavating most of the area from the bottom and swinging bucketfulls of clay up and over to waiting dumper trucks. Great fun and I didn't get a go at working any of the machinery myself.
To cope with the water table they contoured the lake with sides sloping down like Motorway embankments to avoid soil creep. Twelve years later the lake is still the same shape and the slopes allow me wade in in my waders to tackle the reeds, wretched things!

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crfriend
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Re: HOW MANY SKIRTS DO YOU OWN?

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Kirbstone wrote:Yer-average 'digger' in these here parts tends to be a JCB, the initials of its inventor, and is basically a tractor with two buckets operated by hydraulics, one arm at the back, usually with a narrow bucket on for digging trenches, but two big arms at the front with a big bulldozer blade between for levelling areas & shoving things around. They can drive to sites under their own steam along normal roads.
That design rather sounds like what we have lots of here and are sourced from several different manufacturers. The one I got to run was a little "Caterpillar" (aka, "CAT") machine.

Elder types tended to look like this little guy who lives in the front yard of a stone-crushing business a few miles to my north. He disappeared for a little while a year ago, and I got rather sad about the matter. However, all was for the better, and quite unlike the rather sad photo in the link above he got a new coat of paint and a little patch of gravel to sit on instead of the unforgiving macadam. I'll try to remember my camera the next time I drive by and ask to take a few shots
To dig our lake here in 2001 they also used a hi-mac, this time with a 10-meter arm and a very seriously large bucket on the end. They made a sloping ramp down into the hole and drove the thing down it, excavating most of the area from the bottom and swinging bucketfulls of clay up and over to waiting dumper trucks. Great fun and I didn't get a go at working any of the machinery myself.
That's a pity. I rather expect you would have enjoyed it greatly.
To cope with the water table they contoured the lake with sides sloping down like Motorway embankments to avoid soil creep.
That lesson was learnt during the construction of any number of canals. It's called the "angle of repose" and represents the maximum gradient that the banks can be expected to be stable in. I get to deal with that notion in piling snow up around the driveway in the winter-time.
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Re: HOW MANY SKIRTS DO YOU OWN?

Post by Sarongman »

Don't forget the old CAT before it changed it's name to Caterpillar. Helping to bring artillery to the front WW1
Holt 1917.jpg
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Chris Webb
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Re: HOW MANY SKIRTS DO YOU OWN?

Post by Chris Webb »

WOW, I just counted mine and I've got 22 outright skirts. And 47 kilts, of which only 10 are traditional legth, the rest are as long as 15" and as short as 12". I just realized something: Given that the kilt community pretty much defines kilts as knee length I am WAY more a mugsman than I am a kiltman. LOL I guess you could say I have 69 mugs, 14.5% of which are outright kilts. I'm 85.5% mugsman. Well I'll be.

Mug ON!
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Kirbstone
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Re: HOW MANY SKIRTS DO YOU OWN?

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Congrats, Chris on your collection of Mugs. I would ask you to refer to my submitted female leg on another thread where skirt lengths are named, so to speak.

On that particular chart some 85% of your mugs fall into the 'provocative' or 'asking for it' category!! Well, I suppose you have the climate for it down there in Texas.

Tom K.
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Re: HOW MANY SKIRTS DO YOU OWN?

Post by Jack Williams »

"Caterpillar" I believe is the name of the company that came up with the tracked machines.
Thinks: Do dresses count as skirts. I'd have about the same of each.
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Re: HOW MANY SKIRTS DO YOU OWN?

Post by Ralph »

Wow, that's some heavy equipment. When I think of excavating for a garden / home project, I think in much smaller terms like Bobcat (wikipedia tells me that's the brand name for "skid-steer loader").

Let's see... skirts only (that is, from the waist down, no bodice) I have three velvet, one heavy cotton, and two rayon -- six in all.

Dresses with full skirts... probably too many to count. I'm currently wearing my warmest, heavy black velvet turtleneck with long sleeves. There are three or four other velvet/velour maxi dresses, a few rayon dresses for warmer weather (one with and two without sleeves), four sundresses with smocked bodices, a nice silk Malaysian dress that zips up the back, two that look exactly like t-shirts except they extend below the knees, and *blush* one poofy girly prom dress in satin and taffeta that I got on a whim and only wear when I need to counteract excess testosterone. My wife, who is wonderfully understanding about the weird stuff I wear around the house, has never seen me in that last one...
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Re: HOW MANY SKIRTS DO YOU OWN?

Post by Big and Bashful »

JCB, I think was the original back hoe loader, invented by Joseph Cyril Bamford. "Back hoe" trenching arm thingy on the back of a tractor with a loader bucket at the front. Access to one of those would instantly turn me into a big kid!
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Re: HOW MANY SKIRTS DO YOU OWN?

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Big and Bashful wrote:Access to one of those would instantly turn me into a big kid!
According to the witnesses, that's what happened to yours truly.
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Re: HOW MANY SKIRTS DO YOU OWN?

Post by Kirbstone »

Thanks for JCB's name, B&B. I couldn't remember it. They made him a well deserved fortune. He just came along at the right time when hydraulics were being applied to all sorts of things formerly achieved with levers and chains &c.

The 10-meter tracked hi-mac was the right machine for excavating almost an acre of field down some seven feet. Took it only a few days with two large dumper trucks to ferry the spoil away to form low hillocks elsewhere for tree planting &c. The lake took a couple of weeks to fill after that using a 4&1/2 Hp. pump and a 2" diameter hose, sucking from the local stream.

Back to the thread.....I have no dresses at all, just skirts & kilts.

Tom K.
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Re: HOW MANY SKIRTS DO YOU OWN?

Post by Sarongman »

Holt and Best combined in the early 20s to create the Caterpillar company, so that is a Holt heading to the front at the Somme. Now who is a pedant ? :ugeek: :study: :bow:
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Re: HOW MANY SKIRTS DO YOU OWN?

Post by skirtingtoday »

JCB - yes I had heard it was the initials of the owner but hadn't bothered to check up on it. It was indeed Joseph Cyril Bamford whose company was founded in 1945, just after WWII. His first "tipping trailer" was cobbled together from war-surplus steel sheet used for air-raid shelters and was sold for £45. (Great thing Wikipedia!)

And as for skirts, I currently have only 5 (6 if you include a "traditional" plaid kilt). Would like to have more but would have problems in at home. :(
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