Looking back now I realise that I will not, ever again, go out dressed as "fem" as did those first few times, because I am now at a different place then I was then. I was still coming out from the TV/CD closet which was all I knew before the internet and then happy surprise I found when first searched MIS-MIK.
Within in months I had toned down my skirting to for more masculine concepts and added in kilts and found a pretty good comfort zone for myself. As long as I was seen. clearly, as a man in a skirt everywhere I went people seemed to accept me without comments or questions (unless they were made behind my back, but never heard them).
I kilted at Ren Fairs and Celtic Fests and just for gading around town. In a kilt or even just a skirt my wife went along with me. Even thing seemed to be going they way I had wanted it to, better then I ever imagined it could before the MIS-MIk movement (if there is one).
But then the "other" problem reared it's head!
My physical health!
My extreme COPD and constant problems strugling to get enough oxygen. It's a two pronged problem. I've had congestive heart failure too and the doctors tell me these are inter-related problem. One adds and effects the other. Hypoxia (lack of oxygen) cause my heart to speed up. I have to be aware of and watch both. My recuring bronchitis has my limited to staying home for days and even weeks at a time.
It also has become a source of embaressment to me!
I'm out walking into or out of a store and have to stop, bend over and gasp for breath. Thank God! most people are nice,because there's always someone who stops to see if I'm okay. Young or old, teenager or adult, man or woman, they all offer to help. I should add that this trancends races too.
But it makes it hard for me to go out either skirted or kilted. Because they do seem to notice the skirt or kilt then! When they offer to call someone for me(and most of them do) it embaresses me to no end.
Is their offer because 'm having a health problem or becase I'm wearing something different? Either way it's a very hard thing for me to deal with.
I can conquer my emotional fear but to over come the attetion my health puts on me is something else entirely.
I have no answers! As I get I get old I realise that. No answers just more and more questions!