Hey Ma'am I Like Your Dress

Discussion of fashion elements and looks that are traditionally considered somewhat "femme" but are presented in a masculine context. This is NOT about transvestism or crossdressing.
User avatar
crfriend
Master Barista
Posts: 14474
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 9:52 pm
Location: New England (U.S.)
Contact:

Re: Hey Ma'am I Like Your Dress

Post by crfriend »

DALederle wrote:[... T]he idea of men in feminine style clothing has always be presented as either a joke or crime. You have either lost a bet or you are pervert. The ground work for postive male images in feminine attire has never been made.

And that is one of the problems MIS-MIK face in trying to seperate us from the CD/TV culture, which was the only male in skirts most of the public knows about.
This is also the reason why it's so important to lead in the matter by actually going out among the general public and demonstrating that the stereotypes are incorrect and any suspicions in "the eye of the beholder" are wrong. We can whimper about "Why can't we wear nice stuff" until the cows come home (or are sent to be turned into hamburger), but nobody else is going to take up our mantle, so it's our responsibility to do so. If we want to change the way that society views us, then it falls squarely on our shoulders to get out there, hold our heads high, and defy -- utterly, to the point of discrediting -- the stereotypes and shallow thinking that can be pervasive.
I was at a Ren. Faire wearing an earth tone, broomstick skirt and had a man address me as "m'am" until turned around and looked at him. Then he apologized and called me sir! I wasn't wearing heels or anything else feminine, just the skirt.
He'd likely never seen a guy in a skirt before, so his reaction was understandable, especially if there are no visual cues from your backside that can override the quite obvious skirt. Note that he apologised -- this would have been a splendid occasion to chat for a few moments and to demonstrate that a bloke in a skirt is the same bloke as when he's wearing trousers.

Dennis -- Please do not think I'm singling you out for a "thumping" here; I most certainly am not. I'm trying to highlight that any time one tries to change a society's (herd's) notion on something it's going to be difficult, and it takes exemplars who are willing to take the occasional lump for their efforts.
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
SkirtedViking
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 278
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2006 12:08 pm
Location: Europe

Re: Hey Ma'am I Like Your Dress

Post by SkirtedViking »

DALederle wrote:This is all "in the eye of the beholder" sort of thing.
Our culture has, for hundreds of years, fed us positive ideas on women dressing as men. From the legends of women warriors disguised as men to the Hollwood image of women in the old west putting on jeans to do chores around the ranch. So when women began to casually go out in pants and other male garb the culture was ready to accept that idea.
But the idea of men in feminine style clothing has always be presented as either a joke or crime. You have either lost a bet or you are pervert. The ground work for postive male images in feminine attire has never been made.
And that is one of the problems MIS-MIK face in trying to seperate us from the CD/TV culture, which was the only male in skirts most of the public knows about.
Totally agree to that.
There is nothing worse than double standard!
DALederle
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 385
Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:15 pm
Contact:

Re: Hey Ma'am I Like Your Dress

Post by DALederle »

CRFriend:
When the man, one of the ren faire's enactors, addressed me as "m'am" and then corrected himself, we were in the middle of the crowd, waiting to go in, I did talk to him and everyone else present, since everyone was looking at me anyway by then.
I said, "Hey! That' okay. My wife wears pants so I wanted to see what it's like to wear a skirt!"
Some people nodded their heads a mumured what sounded like approval. Others just looked away and then we all went in for the start of the day.
There was oly one time the rest of the day that a young women, serving drinks at the lemonade booth asked me what I was dressed up for. I repeated the statement I made earlier and she nodded and served me the drink Ihad ordered.
But it also shows that people need a reason why a man would choose to wear a skirt. No one would ask a woman why she wore what ever she was wearing, but a man in skirt is expected to have a reason for wearing a skirt.
DALederle :D
User avatar
crfriend
Master Barista
Posts: 14474
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 9:52 pm
Location: New England (U.S.)
Contact:

Re: Hey Ma'am I Like Your Dress

Post by crfriend »

DALederle wrote:"Hey! That' okay. My wife wears pants so I wanted to see what it's like to wear a skirt!"
That's a nice rejoinder -- well done. From the sound of it, the encounter was a positive one. This is good.
But it also shows that people need a reason why a man would choose to wear a skirt. No one would ask a woman why she wore what ever she was wearing, but a man in skirt is expected to have a reason for wearing a skirt.
That's likely because it's so unusual. If I was a betting man, I'd bet you a tenner that none of the folks at the faire had ever seen a guy in a skirt other than a kilt, or less likely, a fustanella. Guys in skirts are rarer than hens' teeth, so it's quite natural for the more intelligent folks to be inquisitive; the less intelligent will label you with some sort of pejorative and get on with their drab lives.

Well done.
Retrocomputing -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
skirted_in_SF
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 1081
Joined: Tue Feb 16, 2010 1:56 am
Location: San Francisco, CA USA

Re: Hey Ma'am I Like Your Dress

Post by skirted_in_SF »

DALederle wrote:I was at a Ren. Faire wearing an earth tone, broomstick skirt . . .
Spring finally came to SF yesterday, so I did a five mile round trip walk in one of my silk broomstick skirts. Midday, on a four lane arterial. The only problem was the wind makes the skirt cling to my legs and eddys at the corners blew the hem up. These are high ankle length skirts and the eddy will blow them to high knee length. :o The only comment I got was at my destination, where a woman said I looked nice and breezy today.
Stuart Gallion
No reason to hide my full name 8)
Back in my skirts in San Francisco
Davy
Active Member
Posts: 66
Joined: Wed Jul 07, 2010 8:28 pm

Re: Hey Ma'am I Like Your Dress

Post by Davy »

I have been complimented on the skirt I have been wearing several times. each time the person simply said they liked my skirt, without any reference to male or female. However, since I don't wear heals, makeup, jewelry or any other items that might cause anyone to think I am female, I have to assume they knew I was a guy all along. In one case two women in a car stopped, and one rolled down the window to compliment me. It seems unlikely thay would have done all this merely to compliment another woman. In another case the woman had a huge grin on her face, so she must have known I was a man. I always smile and thank them politely.
User avatar
Jack Williams
Member Extraordinaire
Posts: 2116
Joined: Tue Aug 26, 2008 2:05 pm
Location: Auckland, NZ

Re: Hey Ma'am I Like Your Dress

Post by Jack Williams »

Yes I had a similar experience. Two young women in a car beckoned me over. I thought they needed directions, but no, they just wanted to say how they liked my skirt. They obviously meant it and I got the impression that they'd like to see more men thus attired.
Post Reply